Refraction
by Kiva Taliana
Summary: AU story using the 'what if' premise. Accidental changes to fate happen, so when Merlin's destiny is tampered with, events slowly start to put things back on track.
1. Part One Chapter 1

**I love a 'what if...' story. I don't want to give too much away but it takes on the premise that an event happened to change Merlin's fate, but not wanting to be cheated, destiny starts building another path. Obviously, all the usual characters will appear eventually. **

Merlin ran. He didn't think about it, he just ran. He wasn't quite aware why the sudden impulse had hit him, but the men had left him alone, and Jarl had been gone. Merlin had been quietly setting up the camp and setting up the hearth to cook, like a good little slave. He had concentrated on the tasks he was given, but a sudden restlessness had come upon him. It felt familiar, as if it had happened to him before, but he couldn't locate from where. Merlin didn't remember things like that. Then he had heard them talking, about him, about others, and about what they might find on the trip.

From that point, Merlin had been unable to stand it no longer. He had backed up, looking busy around the packs before he had started to run. They were after him now, crashing through the forest behind him and Merlin rushed along ahead of them. His escape was blind. Merlin didn't know where he was going and he didn't know where he was. There was the castle, which he knew, and the outside, which he didn't. Merlin couldn't remember the last time he had been outside, breathing in the fresh air and feeling the sun warming him.

He stumbled, feet catching one over the other and striking a tree root. It sent him pitching forward and he landed on his hands and knees. Merlin yelped as something dragged against his arm. He saw the bright, glistening surge of blood. Merlin lifted his arm and looked at the gash that ran down one long, skinny forearm. The pain meant nothing to him, Merlin was used to pain, but the blood made him worry. Losing blood was a bad thing. Staggering up he pushed the branches aside, snapping some, other's whipped across his body, urging him on as they caught his flesh, pathetically covered by his thin clothing.

The sounds of the men chasing him echoed in the forest behind him. He had to keep running or they would find him. They knew where to look, Merlin had to be quick. He almost didn't see the bank as he crashed through the trees until he felt his feet lose balance and he dug his heels in, falling down onto his backside as he did so. Merlin looked around and saw the cave, the fissure in the stone looked inviting, the stream running from it, innocuous and unthreatening. It was quite pretty, Merlin told himself.

He could hide for a moment. Merlin slithered down the bank, ignoring the skin being roughly scraped off his arms and hands. He flopped to the floor, knees smacking against the stone on the edge of the bank. Merlin pushed himself up and ran for the cave entrance, holding his arms out to the sides for balance. He was starting to feel sick and dizzy from the exertion. The memory of when he had run so fast and for so long had been lost to his subconscious. Merlin only thought about the immediate moment, what was happening in each second as it passed.

Now he ran into the cave and paused. It was a fissure that ran deep into the rock and there were signs of habitation. A table with bottles on it, a bedroll on his left, with food stored nearby. Merlin blinked as he took in the signs of habitation, staggering as the exhaustion hit him and he wiped his forehead where it ran with sweat. He started to back up, it wasn't safe, he would have to keep running, or just stop and wait. They would catch him eventually.

Merlin gave a yelp as he backed up into something solid, and a hand latched tightly around his throat. He gasped with fear, tears flooding his eyes but he didn't fight the grip. It was hard, but not enough to hurt, or prevent him from breathing, even if every breath he took came as a ragged, frightened gasp.

"What are you doing here boy?" a gruff voice demanded of him.

For a moment Merlin couldn't speak, when his voice unlocked he simply stated the exact truth.

"Hiding."

"From what?"

"From the men, I ran away," Merlin said in a high, whimpering tone. Black dots were starting to dance in front of his eyes, his body felt weak, legs almost giving out from under him. Unable to do anything else for a moment he leant back against the man holding him for support. He felt so tired, he was always tired.

Then he jerked forward as the man released him and pushed him away. Merlin staggered, turning to look at the person he presumed lived in the cave. He was tall, and broad. His dark hair long, strands trailed into his face, a dark beard hiding his jaw and in between a pair of hard eyes glared at him. Merlin shuffled backwards, dropping his head to avoid the harsh gaze. He stared at his ripped, ragged clothes, the colour of which was long ago lost, and the rough rags of material around his feet. He didn't have boots, Jarl laughed that he didn't need them since he spent most of his time on his back. Merlin cringed when he said that, not quite understanding the joke but knowing it meant the men, and the pain and the horrible things he had to do. Merlin flinched as the man in front of him turned away from him.

"Stay in here."

Merlin nodded in agreement. He always did as he was told, not that it often did him any good. Risking lifting his head he watched the man vanish from the cave. Merlin stood there, looking around, but not daring to move. He didn't want to do anything clumsy and knock something over. He blinked slowly as he wavered on his feet, and his eyes rested on the makeshift bed. Then he looked down at himself again. The Cave Man might not like it if he sat there, he was so filthy, but Merlin felt his stomach churn and the dizziness threatened to overwhelm him.

He squatted down where he was and slowly sat down on the floor of the cave, bringing his knees up to his chest and resting his head down on them, staying curled up tightly while he waited for the tiredness to pass.

Merlin wasn't quite sure how much time passed. He might have fallen asleep. He seemed to jerk out of the blackness of his mind and as his head shot up his neck started to throb from being in the same position for so long. Merlin rubbed it, and then rubbed both hands across his face to try and wake himself up a little. He felt thirsty and he looked at his arm, the gash was still bleeding a little and smears of blood marred his dirt covered skin. Merlin looked at it in concern and then dipped his hand into the puddle next to him wiping his arm with it. It wasn't particularly effective and the thought of water was just making him feel thirstier. Merlin scooped some of the water into his palm and bringing it to his mouth licked at it.

He didn't find it particularly appetising. It tasted bitter, and there was grit in it, sticking to his tongue as he licked.

"Urgh," Merlin announced to himself. Then he looked up to the entrance. There was water outside, he could clean his arm and get a drink from there. The water would be better out there. Merlin got to his feet, wobbling a little, still feeling tired and lethargic. It was an effort to move at all but the promise of water urged him on a little. Completely forgetting the order he had been given to stay inside Merlin shuffled carefully outdoors.

The sun was still bright, but the shadows were lengthening. Merlin screwed up his eyes as he stepped outside, the brightness making his head pound, and his eyes water. He staggered and keeping an arm over his eyes, looked down at the ground to totter carefully towards the stream. He stared at the clean, cool water that flowed past and he hunkered down and cupping his hands scooped out some water, drinking it greedily. Some of it spilled down his chin, splashing onto his shirt. Merlin brushed it down and only made the mess on it worse. After a split second's consideration he pulled the shirt up over his head, almost falling over as he struggled to pull it off.

Merlin dragged it over his head and shrugged it down his arms, draping the rough material over one thigh. He scooped a few more mouthfuls of water, it was crisp and cool in his mouth, calming his sickness and easing his empty belly. Then he started to splash it onto his arm, rubbing in places to try and remove the dried blood. He only seemed to be succeeding in spreading the mess further around, but he carried on splashing until a shout made him lift his head in shock.

"I told you to stay in the cave!"

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Balinor had no difficulty finding the boy's clumsy trail. He had made no attempt to hide his route as he made his escape. Balinor had moved through the trees, following the sounds of the pursuers. Going ahead of them he broke through another trail, guiding them away from the cave. Not just because he had left the boy there, but because he was protective of his home. It was rare anyone passed through that way, and that was why Balinor liked it. He had lived a solitary life for so long, he couldn't contemplate anything else, and he didn't like the idea of people so close. Sometimes Cenred's men patrolled through, they either knew he was there and left alone, or were ignorant of his whereabouts. The local town knew of his existence, but they gained nothing by getting involved.

Now some silly little boy had come skittering right into his home. But he wasn't as heartless as many people would probably like to believe. The youth was obviously terrified of his pursuers and if anyone was daring to come this close to his home, Balinor wanted to know who they were. He set up a false trail, moving swiftly through the forest, snapping branches, and making sure there were enough tracks and disturbances on the trail to guide them the way he wanted.

Then carefully he had circled around and waited for whoever came past. When he saw them, it was easy to tell they were not soldiers. The lead man rode a horse, looking about angrily as they picked up the trail Balinor had left.

"Keep looking, but return to camp when it starts to darken, I haven't got time to be chasing after little dregs like that. I want to be past the town by tomorrow."

"He can't be that hard to find," one of the men commented, and was kicked in the head for his trouble.

"I told you to watch the damn brat!" the leader snapped. "He won't last long out here anyway. We can always pick up something else in the next village, Cenred needs men but he won't care about what else is there. I've got too much profit riding on that to worry about one little piece of meat."

Balinor narrowed his eyes as he listened. That told him all he needed to know. They were slavers, and if Cenred wanted more men, then he was planning something, probably directing his attention to Camelot. Balinor didn't concern himself with that. He had no love for Uther Pendragon. Still, it was good to know what might happen; he would need to be wary of groups passing through.

At least that short conversation left him with the impression that the boy was not of great concern. It was probably a true argument that they could take another slave on their next raid. By the state of him, the child was not something any of them cared about. It made Balinor wonder why he was with them in the first place. Perhaps that was something he didn't want to contemplate. Instead he headed back towards home, taking a longer route and moving through the forest silently, unnoticed, almost a part of the landscape, he had been there so long, hidden away.

He circled the group of men to check they were sticking to the false trail, and would probably give up soon enough, before he returned to his home. As he cleared the undergrowth and looked to the cave he felt his irritation rise. The boy was outside, splashing water about. It was a simple enough instruction and for his own damn safety the boy should have listened. As Balinor shouted the dark head jerked up in shock. Merlin looked around as if he just realised what he had done, and he fell backwards, landing on his rump with a thump.

Balinor watched the boy react. He struggled to his feet and ran to the cave, disappearing into the darkness. As he followed Balinor saw a subtle shift in the shadows near the entrance. The boy waited there, hands clinging onto the material of his shirt.

As Balinor came closer the boy turned his head, shuffling away slightly, and facing the wall. He hunched his shoulders and cowered as he felt Balinor move closer.

Merlin's head tilted a little, waiting for the Cave Man to do something. He hadn't done as he was told, and that was bad, but he didn't know what this man would do.

Balinor was, in actual fact, looking at the wounds that riddled Merlin's upper body. Lash marks coated his back, some of the welts raised and a deep painful red. The worst of them oozed with infection, Balinor put his hand on Merlin's shoulder, feeling the heat rising from his skin, and the bones that pressed out from underneath.

He watched with increasing sympathy as the boy huddled, just standing there, just waiting. Carefully Balinor took hold of his upper arm, pulling him away from the wall and into the light. The boy's head stayed down and his hands clenched on the material he was holding, screwing it into a tight ball.

"Come on, child. Come on."

Balinor coaxed Merlin out. Drawing the terrified, shivering boy into the sunlight. He didn't resist but his eyes shifted around nervously as Balinor lead him to the ledge where the stream ran past.

"Sit down now."

Merlin dropped himself down with a thump, willing to do whatever the Cave Man wanted of him. He shifted his feet a little and pulled at the material of his shirt which was still clenched in his hands. Again he hunched his shoulders as if expecting a physical blow. As Balinor carefully considered the damage, he didn't feel too surprised at his behaviour. He put a hand on Merlin's head, and he flinched.

"You just sit there now, it's okay, just wait there."

As he went into the cave, disappearing into the shadows he turned to glance at Merlin. The boy's eyes followed him, wide and frightened, but he didn't move. He looked down again, his hands clenching on the material he was holding. Balinor didn't think he would run, the boy was frightened and tired, hardly comprehending what had happened, but he had seen the child's fear as he had shouted, realising he had done something wrong.

Balinor dismissed that concern and went to collect the herbs he needed, his mind running over the various injuries and what he could use to treat them. When he came out carrying baskets and bowls he found the boy sat exactly where he had been put, and his head jerked up sharply, but he looked down again immediately after. Balinor came closer and slowly started to put things down and he saw Merlin's head follow him. It was a subtle movement, but he noted it.

Reaching down he scooped some water into a bowl and mashed up the root he had brought with him, putting it in the water and squeezing it between his fingers to let the pulp and sap distribute. Then taking a cloth he dipped it in and reaching up started to wash Merlin's shoulders.

He couldn't help but hunch, but again, he didn't move. Balinor started on Merlin's shoulders and moved down his back, carefully washing, cleaning off the caked on dirt, and breaking open some of the infected wounds to let the pus run out.

There was no other option but to work slowly. He went down Merlin's back, cleaning off the filth and infection and then took his arm rubbing the absorbent fur he was using into his armpit and then down his arm, looking at the raw skin on his wrists, where he had been restrained. Then he moved on to the boy's chest, bruised from collar bone to the base of his ribs. He had been kicked and punched, but none of his ribs were damaged. One good sign, Balinor thought.

"Stand up, child," he ordered. Once again Balinor watched the boy obey without hesitation, but still fearful of what might happen. Without comment Balinor unfastened the cord of his trousers he pulled them down to assess the rest of the damage.

The whip marks reached down past the small of Merlin's back over his backside, he had bruising on the white flesh of his inner thighs. One knee was painfully swollen and as Balinor sat him down again and took the crude wraps of material off his feet he saw the tears and grazes.

"Put your feet down there," Balinor said gently, easing Merlin's feet into the water. He splashed a little as he settled down, and then with one quick glance at Balinor he stopped what he was doing.

"Come on lad, give me that." Balinor pulled on the material that Merlin was still clenching in his hands. After a few seconds of his fingers frantically working the material Merlin gave it up to the man that asked for it. Merlin instead clasped his hands tightly together and waited, watching.

Balinor ignored the stare, and just concentrated on the poultice. He put a light, cleansing treatment over the lash marks, thickening the layer where there was the threat of infection. Then the salve covered the boy's chafed wrists and ankles, and he massaged some into the boy's feet to treat the scraps and cuts from where he had run so much. Balinor treated every part of his damaged body. He didn't rush, he worked slowly and carefully, not missing any of the extensive injuries.

By the time he had finished Merlin's head was dropping down. He blinked and jerked up as the sensations took his body. Merlin vaguely remembered that he had been running, and then he had stopped. He was tired again, but he jerked out of the doze as the Cave Man gently patted him on the shoulder.

"All done, you sit there for a minute, I won't be long."

It sounded like very good advice, Merlin thought. He let his head loll again and closed his eyes. It was nice sitting still, with the sun gently warming him and the sound of the water soothing his mind. He felt very tempted to lie down and just sleep. Quite regularly Merlin was capable of sleeping in any position, even standing up. His mind would just blank and there would be nothing. He could never be sure how long it really lasted, the awakenings could be abrupt and painful. Jarl might get cross with him if he slept. Merlin blinked with a whimper at the thought of his master, and he attempted to rouse himself from the dreamlike state that had drawn him in.

Then it slowly occurred to Merlin, he had run away. Jarl wasn't there, the Cave Man was. The pains in his body hadn't gone away, but they didn't seem as bad. Merlin was used to a lot of it now, but it all still hurt, and he felt so tired.

"Careful," the man warned as he sagged and almost pitched into the water. The man had wrapped an arm around him, to stop him falling forward. Merlin looked down at the restraining arm and gripped onto the material of the Cave Man's sleeve, feeling the strength of the man holding him.

"Drink this."

Merlin did as he was told as Balinor put the cup to his lips. Merlin was in no state to be able to hold it to drink the soothing potion it contained. He could have gulped at it greedily, but he was offered it in sensible sips, his body slowly leaning over to rest against the stronger man. Merlin drank it all, the mixture soothing his throat, and warming him inside. Once the cup was drained Balinor put it aside and drew Merlin onto his feet, supporting him as he walked him to the cave.

It didn't seem quite as dark this time, as Merlin went inside, even though his eyes could hardly seem to stay open. He only hesitated as he was taken over to the bedding tucked up by one wall, a quiver of fear running through him about what might happen next. He gave no resistance as Balinor put him into the bed, laying him on his side to minimise the pressure on the worst of his wounds, and he carefully wrapped the rough sheets around Merlin's naked body to keep him warm. Merlin closed his eyes as he felt his hair being stroked.

"Sleep now, you need to rest," the Cave Man ordered him gently. His voice rumbled on, saying words that Merlin didn't understand, but they were soothing to listen to. It took mere seconds before Merlin sank into the merciful darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

**It's funny that so many people asked how old Merlin was, because that was what I was already covering, with another little hint...**

Merlin had been found by Balinor at mid-afternoon, and he had been put down to rest two or so hours past that. Such as his exhaustion it was almost dusk the following day before Merlin woke. Balinor watched him carefully, but Merlin hardly moved as he slept. Now and again the older man checked Merlin to make sure he was still breathing. The boy was in such a weakened state that Balinor half worried his body might give up at any time.

It occurred to him, as Merlin resolutely slept, that he didn't know when the child last ate, and he had exerted himself dramatically escaping from his captors. Balinor inwardly cursed himself for not giving him even the smallest amount of food before letting him sleep. It would be something that would be best to rectify as soon as the boy woke, so Balinor spent some time making sure he had something ready for him. He went out once to check some of his snares, and traps, that were closest to the cave, not wanting to be gone for too long. Balinor was lucky to find he had caught a couple of rabbits in them, so he brought them back, prepared them and left them to cook in a stew.

When Merlin did finally wake he was so quiet Balinor didn't notice him for a moment.

It was something Merlin often did. Drawing too much attention to himself when he roused was not always a good thing. Years of careful training made sure he could awaken without disturbing anyone around him. So he carefully opened his eyes, and despite feeling a little hot he didn't push the sheets about. Instead he looked about, gazing around in a detached way.

There was a mild rush of anxiety as he didn't immediately recognise his surroundings, but as Balinor moved into view, Merlin remembered. He had run away, and the Cave Man had looked after him. His body still ached and pains niggled at him from varying places, but he felt better, and less tired. Some lethargy remained, but Merlin felt quite rested. As he took in a deep breath he caught the scent of meat cooking and his stomach gave a loud gurgle. Merlin hunched in the bedding, pulling it up over his face, eyes staying on Balinor as he turned round.

All Balinor could see as he turned at the sound was Merlin's wide eyes and dark hair, as the boy hid, unsure of what might happen next. Balinor did nothing more than smile and he went over to Merlin, crouching next to him and gently he started to pull the blankets down. Merlin didn't resist him, but he blinked and the fear rose in his eyes.

"Come on, lad, sit up, I want to look at your wounds."

Merlin didn't resist as Balinor sat him up and checked the state of his back and his wrists, the bruises on his chest and a quick glance under the covers at the various injuries there. Merlin sat still throughout the procedure. Balinor ended by unravelling part of the bandage he had put on Merlin's arm to protect the deep scratch. It had stopped bleeding and the wound still seemed clean. Balinor wrapped it back down again. There was probably no need to change the bandage until the morning.

"Does anything hurt?" Balinor asked.

Merlin shook his head, then met Balinor's gaze.

"Bit," he confessed. "But not bad."

"All right, you need to have something to eat. What's your name, lad?"

Merlin mumbled something, it made Balinor flinch a little, and Merlin's eyes gazed at him warily.

"Is that what the men used to call you?" Balinor asked gently. He was not about to repeat the words. He watched the boy's head bob up and down. It made Balinor wonder if the boy actually remembered his own name, but he persisted.

"That's not really your name now is it? Can you tell me your name?"

He watched the boy hang his head a little, but there was a frown forming on his face, as if he was thinking.

"My name's Balinor," he said, trying to jog the boy along. The boy looked up, still clearly thinking. Balinor gently smoothed Merlin's hair where it had ruffled. "I'll get you something to eat; you don't need to tell me now."

Balinor left him for a moment, filling a bowl with the thin stew he had cooked, and he had filled a plate with the remains of the bread and cheese he had traded for in the nearby village, and some fruits he had foraged. He brought them over and placed them down by the bed.

"Merlin," Merlin suddenly said, looking surprised as he spoke, the name coming up from the recesses of his mind. "My name is Merlin."

Balinor smiled at him. "Hello, Merlin."

Merlin gave a little smile, eyes drifting down to the food, the smell of the stew making his stomach rumble again.

"Best you eat something," Balinor advised. Getting up he moved away again, Merlin stared down at the food. Then he looked up again.

"All of it?" Merlin asked a little tentatively.

"What you can manage."

Merlin stared at it all again. It was more food than he ever got in one sitting, and it looked nicer than the scraps he usually ate, quite often stealing things off the floor. Without his mind even realising his body was doing it, his hand snaked out and grabbed the bread, biting into it, gnawing at it to get as much into his mouth as possible. Merlin chewed frantically, hardly finishing the first mouthful before going back for another.

"Slowly." Balinor's voice made him jump. His eyes rose, the bread suddenly feeling like a painful solid lump in his mouth. The older man was staring at him with disapproval.

"It will do you no good if you make yourself sick," Balinor informed him sternly. "Now, eat properly, and take your time."

Merlin slowly started to chew, his throat constricting as he swallowed, but he forced it down and picking up the bowl, sipped at the thin stew. It was easy to eat, the small pieces of meat and vegetables in it sliding down easily. His eyes stayed on Balinor as he filled another bowl of stew and brought the stool over so he could sit by Merlin to eat. Merlin watched him, feeling very shy around him, and he nibbled a little more bread. Balinor seemed quite content to simply sit with him and eat, although he only seemed to have the stew.

Still feeling timid Merlin broke off some bread and offered it. Balinor looked at him with some surprise before taking what Merlin had offered out.

"Thank you, now eat the rest yourself," he ordered Merlin.

Merlin happily did as he was told, he finished the bread, and bowl of stew and most of the cheese. He tried to finish off what was on the plate, but his belly started to protest, aching with the sudden full feeling. His head even started to hurt from eating so much. Balinor again spoke to him sternly.

"If you can't eat it all now, you can have it later," he said, taking the bowl and plate away from Merlin. Merlin looked quite distressed as Balinor took the plate of berries and fruits that he had been offered. Reading that reaction Balinor put the plate down again, leaving it by Merlin's side.

"Why don't we leave it there? You can have some more later, when you feel hungry again."

Merlin nodded, looking from the plate to the man offering it out to him. There was a knot of confusion and emotion building up in Merlin. He wouldn't cry; things like that had been ripped from him long ago but his mind started to really process the facts of what was happening. Balinor wasn't going to hurt him. Merlin realised he was looking after him and it occurred to Merlin he should be grateful. If he wasn't people got cross.

"Thank you."

"It's all right, Merlin. You need to get a bit more rest."

It had only been a very simple exertion, Merlin had only sat up and eaten, but he was so weak. Balinor wanted the energy Merlin had just taken to be put to no other use but to strengthen him. He put the empty bowls to one side and encouraged Merlin to lie down again, tucking him in firmly. Merlin let him and looked around, sounding less nervous as he repeated himself.

"Thank you."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The food was still there when Merlin roused again. More had been added. He turned on the bed, moving as quietly as he could, and he located Balinor near the entrance to the cave. Merlin settled as he realised where he was. Then he wriggled his hand free of the bedding and grabbed one of the apples. Merlin bit in, gnawing again but he remembered Balinor's stern words and carefully chewed what he was eating. His teeth hurt a little, a few rattling in his gums but Merlin didn't care, the food was nice.

After the apple, Merlin picked out some of the berries, stuffing them into his mouth, his tongue tingling with the juice as he bit into them. It didn't stop his belly from aching, but it hurt differently now.

"Are you all right there, Merlin?"

Merlin jumped, gazing up at Balinor as he was caught out. Merlin nodded his head and sat up a little. The stool was still where Balinor had set it, close to the bed. He put down the poultice he had made up and sat back holding out his hand.

"Give me your arm, now."

Merlin did, holding it out and letting Balinor take a firm grip. He slowly unwound the bandage and looked at the deep gash that lay beneath. Merlin hadn't cut open anything serious, but he was weak and his body was fighting so many other things, another potential infection was not a good thing. Using the water he had brought Balinor washed off the traces of the herbs he had put on previously and examined the wound. It looked clean enough.

"Open your hand out," Balinor ordered. Merlin frowned and cringed but splayed his fingers and exposed the nuts he had hidden in his hand. Balinor smiled and picked them out, offering one to Merlin, who let Balinor pop it into his mouth. Merlin chewed and Balinor said.

"Make your hand into a fist."

Merlin's eyes creased at the corners as he tightened his fingers up, but he could do it, so there was no major damage to his arm. Balinor started to apply the poultice, what was left over he would put on Merlin's back. The lash marks seemed to have calmed, now he had washed them. Balinor had to marvel at the boy's strength. He was beyond weak, he was undernourished, beaten and frightened, and yet he still sat there. Merlin was wary of his surroundings but Balinor felt he was starting to get Merlin's trust. Leaving the plate of food for him certainly helped. Another bowl of stew would help him along, but Balinor couldn't ignore the fact that Merlin's ribs pressed out dramatically, his belly was distended, hipbones jutted out at a sharp angle, and there was no meat on the boy whatsoever.

Balinor couldn't let him move, any food that Merlin took in had to go to helping his body strengthen up. If Merlin exerted himself now, he would probably die. His heart couldn't be all that strong. It sounded thready every time Balinor felt for it.

"That's good, Merlin," Balinor gently praised. "Now just relax your hand, like that, I just need to bandage that up again. Does anything else really hurt?"

Merlin shook his head vigorously. "No, just aching, and itchy."

"That means it's getting better, leave it alone," Balinor advised as Merlin tried to reach over and scratch his shoulder.

"Sorry," Merlin said.

"That's all right Merlin. But I don't want you to move around a lot. If you need to, use the pot to go in."

Balinor put the deep sided chamber pot by Merlin's side. Merlin blinked in shock.

"I don't want you to walk about, if you need to go, use that, and tell me. Okay."

Merlin rubbed a hand over his stomach. "Belly hurts."

"I know, it might, You'll be all right Merlin, it's only going to hurt for a little while."

Merlin nodded, giving a tentative smile. The Cave Man, Balinor, was nice; he didn't hurt him and make him do horrible things.

"Merlin?" Balinor asked gently, looking him up and down, concentrating on dealing with Merlin's wounds. "How old were you? When the slavers came?"

Balinor wasn't surprised when Merlin tensed and whimpered. Balinor carried on what he was doing, as he put the remains of the poultice over Merlin's back. It didn't need it, the wounds were clearing under his treatment.

"Merlin?"

"Ten. Almost ten."

_The hoofbeats started in his mind. It was all he really remembered. Mother was there, but he could hardly comprehend what Mother meant, or what happened. There was a spray of bright red, Merlin thought. All he remembered was the hooves, the thudding sound. It was all that seemed to hold his attention. There were worse things but Merlin shut his mind from them. _

"All right Merlin, it's all right, it's okay. You were ten years old?"

Merlin nodded, and he clung to Balinor as the thudding started at the back of his mind. Balinor let him, smoothing Merlin's hair back off his face and then frowning as his fingers caught in the matted clumps.

"Stay still," Balinor ordered as Merlin tried to pull away, annoyed by the tugs on his hair. "Merlin just stay still, your hair is a terrible mess."

Merlin stopped fighting. Balinor didn't ask any more questions, instead he eased the tangles in Merlin's hair, and calculated carefully. Merlin had been taken when he was ten. Now he was showing clear signs of maturity, hints that his body had developed into adulthood. Balinor couldn't calculate it exactly but there was a spread of downy hair across Merlin's chest and between his legs, his voice had broken. His entire body hinted that he had been through puberty. There was no way that Merlin would have matured early, the bad treatment could have held his development back.

It was at least six years, possibly eight, that Merlin had been trapped with his abusers. But they hadn't cared about him, Merlin looked ready to fall down dead. Yet he was surviving, and something within him was still fighting. If Balinor couldn't understand it, the very least he would do was respect it.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

A week after he had been found Merlin sat outside the cave, wrapped up in a blanket and enjoying the afternoon sunshine. That was why he was sitting outside, for the sunshine. Balinor said it would be good for him, and Merlin didn't argue. He was a bit nervous being in the open, but Balinor was just in the cave, if he needed him, and after sitting there for a while Merlin started to relax

It was all nice, whatever Balinor said he should do, Merlin found it wasn't unpleasant. There had been the horrible time he had made a mess of the blanket, his body unused to the regular food and care. Merlin thought he would have been punished, but Balinor hadn't even raised his voice. He had just removed the blanket in question and dunked it into the stream to wash off. Merlin had made sure it was never repeated.

Balinor didn't get angry with him though. He used his stern voice, and Merlin knew he had to do as he was told, but there had been no hurting. For the first time since he could recall, no one was going out of their way to hurt him. Merlin looked up and around at the trees, and the quiet little place that was becoming home. It took him a moment, during his happy contemplation, to hear the splashing.

When he did Merlin leant forward and yelped, pushing the blanket away and he crawled along the bank, looking at the dark shape in the water. The little bird was flapping and flapping, a dark curl of blood flowing from its leg into the water. The bird flapped even harder as Merlin reached down to grab it. It took the small dark bird out of his reach.

"Come here," Merlin snapped in concern, crawling along to follow the bird. "Come here."

Merlin slid down the edge of the bank to a lower point and reaching in scooped out the bird. It continued to flap, spraying droplets of water over Merlin and the stones around him. Merlin petted the birds head, and it flopped to one side. The wings started to beat; they were frantic but increasingly feeble.

"No, don't do that," Merlin ordered in distress. He completely forgot Balinor's stern instructions about not exerting himself, and taking his time, and scrambled up the bank and running off into the cave.

Balinor was carefully arranging his herbs and potions, thinking that for the time being he didn't want to frighten an already jumpy Merlin by having too many things for him to worry about where he could see them, when said boy came running in naked, holding his hands out.

"Look!"

Balinor did, gently lifting the crow's head. It was only a tiny fledgling, but it's left leg had been grabbed by something, it was sodden wet and it's head was lolling every time that Balinor tried to encourage it to keep it straight.

"Merlin, I don't know what I can do."

"Make it better!" Merlin demanded in distress.

"I'm not sure I can," Balinor said carefully resisting Merlin's attempts to dump the bird into his hands.

"You made me better," Merlin said sounding confused and angry. He truly didn't, Balinor judged, comprehend why he couldn't.

"I know Merlin but this is different, the bird isn't…"

The crow's head flopped and Merlin yelped in distress. Balinor jumped as he felt something. Merlin's hand suddenly became warm, jolting him with the sudden rush. Balinor looked up and watched as Merlin's eyes started to glow, it was a slow trickle of flashes for a few seconds until it rushed over him. Looking down Balinor saw the inside of the bird start to shimmer with the same light.

As suddenly as the light flashed bright gold it faded, and Merlin stared at the fledging with wide-eyed shock. The bird's head stayed up and it chattered it's disapproval at the scenario. Its wings flapped against Merlin's hands and he almost dropped it. Balinor grabbed his wrists and Merlin flinched.

"Sorry, I'm sorry."

"It's all right Merlin, it's all right. Calm down," Balinor ordered. He pressed his fingers to the inside of Merlin's wrist, his pulse was speeding up with panic, sounding a little uneven due to his exertion. Balinor noted the scrapes on Merlin's forearms and knees, where he had scrabbled to retrieve the injured animal.

"Merlin, come on, sit down," Balinor said gently. He got Merlin settled on the stool and looked at the now lively crow. It was flapping and chittering, but as Balinor slowly prised Merlin's hands open the bird made no move to try and get away. Balinor looked at the leg. The wound was still present, and the bird was still damp from it's swim but it looked well enough.

"Let's see what we can do for the little thing, shall we?"

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

A while later the fledging was contained in an upturned basket while Merlin tied together some branches to make a temporary cage. The bird nudged and squawked under the container but it couldn't get out. Merlin had stayed very quiet, and Balinor thought the task would give Merlin something to focus on. He was tying the branches to make the door when Balinor approached him and crouched down. Merlin was winding the twine to bind the branches together, but his work slowed as Balinor moved closer.

He looked at Merlin's carefully bent head and felt the pull, like a rope tightening. Balinor started to suspect that it wasn't just sympathy for Merlin's plight that was drawing him to the boy. Balinor had his own power, and he wonder if after so many years of abuse, that Merlin had just simply sensed the magic and followed it.

"Merlin?"

"I'm sorry," Merlin said, his voice quiet. Balinor waited a moment.

"Merlin, look at me."

As always, Merlin did as he was told. He lifted his head to let his eyes meet Balinor's. Balinor reached out to brush Merlin's hair out of his eyes. Merlin blinked.

"I'm not angry Merlin, you should know that."

Merlin nodded. "I didn't mean to."

"I know, I believe you. But I need to know, did the men know that you could do that?"

Merlin shook his head emphatically. "No, mother said never to show people."

"You hid it all that time?"

"At first, then it went away," Merlin said.

"The magic stopped."

Merlin nodded, looking very serious. He was now watching Balinor carefully. Seeing the wary look in Merlin's blue eyes, Balinor decided to make nothing of it for now. Merlin's random show of power was something for him to think about. It was something beyond what Balinor knew. He was knowledgeable enough but the one person he could ask was out of his reach. Still, one thing Balinor did know for sure was that Merlin meant no harm.

"I didn't mean to," Merlin said.

"It's all right, I know. Let's fix the door on."

For a few minutes Balinor said nothing more, instead he helped Merlin attach the door to the makeshift cage and then deposited the crow into the rickety structure, leaving it some food and water. It hopped around on its damaged leg, flapping its wings and sounding outraged about the whole thing.

"You need to get some rest now, Merlin," Balinor said. It had been a little too much for him. The dark circles under his eyes had become more prominent, and he was pale. Merlin clambered into the bed without a word, his eyes assessing Balinor to see what his reaction was.

Balinor couldn't be angry, he had no grudge against magic. He was, in his own way, part of it. Merlin's spontaneous display didn't scare him, or anger him, but it did intrigue him. Powers such at that, didn't go away, they could turn to their own purpose. Balinor wondered about why Merlin had been given such a gift, the magic had been dormant in him for years, but now it was growing.

It made the Dragon Lord wonder, what had brought Merlin to him. Why had he suddenly run, why had he found him? Merlin was to serve some kind of purpose, but he had to get to it. Balinor watched the sleeping boy and his mind stirred with a thought.

The magic hadn't left Merlin, it was there, it had turned its energies to a purpose for which it wasn't needed anymore.

His magic had been keeping Merlin alive.


	3. Chapter 3

Questions unsettled Merlin, so Balinor didn't push too hard. Over the weeks Merlin's spontaneous displays increased. He could levitate objects without even thinking about it, and freeze things in mid-air. Balinor tried not to react with too much shock every time something happened. He got used to it in the end, and Merlin did make an effort to control himself.

Just over a month on Merlin was much healthier. He had put on some weight, although Balinor guessed by his stature that he was naturally of a light build, and Merlin slowly built up his stamina. Balinor had taken him on slow gentle walks to begin with, increasing the distance and changing the terrain on occasion, until Merlin was much stronger.

They were out that day, checking the snares further out in the forest, and hunting anything else they could find. The summer was slowly tilting into autumn, and there was plenty of time to stock up, but Balinor knew how harsh the winters could be, trapped in the cave. He needed to start increasing his supply. They were carrying bedrolls and some food in packs. This was going to be an overnight trip. Merlin's first, but he seemed quite happy with the situation when Balinor described it to him. It could be that Merlin didn't entirely comprehend.

"Are you all right, Merlin?" Balinor asked as they started up a gentle incline.

"Yes," Merlin said, his voice a little breathless but as Balinor turned to look at him. Merlin wasn't over exerting himself and he was looking around at the scenery, and lifting his head at the chattering sound above him.

The young fledgling had been released a week ago, but naturally stayed around the cave, knowing there was food, and was now following them because, Balinor finally realised, of the supply of scraps that Merlin had with him. Now and again the bird swooped down to retrieve the offerings off Merlin's arm, which Merlin seemed delighted by. Balinor didn't correct him. The young bird needed to get out into the wild, but it would probably be hard for him now. Like it would be hard for Balinor to integrate Merlin somewhere else.

It was the thing that Balinor now had to consider. His life was a solitary one, and not something that should be inflicted on an under developed youth. Merlin was childish, unable to think for himself, when as physically mature as he was, it should be something he was capable of. A good portion of Merlin's development was lost in the years of abuse. He had never grown from child to adult.

Balinor turned as Merlin giggled. The young bird had swooped again, picking up the treat from Merlin's hand. Merlin stopped giggling and looked guilty as Balinor gazed at him.

"I suppose we ought to name him really."

The crow squawked in agreement and flew off. Merlin watched the bird fly up into the trees and then he covered the last few paces to reach Balinor.

"What? Name him what?"

The crow swooped down to a low branch and called again, flapping his wings and rubbing his beak against the branch.

"Since he's like a noisy clap of thunder wherever we go, I think Thor might be a good name."

"Thor!" Merlin exclaimed brightly and then he looked up at the bird. "You're Thor!"

Thor replied by screeching and hopping up and down the branch before taking off again. Merlin watched him fly up, concern evident on his face.

"Don't worry, he won't go far. Come on, we'll check the snares over the ridge, it won't take long and we can stop for something to eat while we are there."

"Yes," Merlin agreed very decisively, following on Balinor's heels. Balinor smiled to himself, Merlin seemed to like agreeing with him, that or he had perked up at the mention of food. After years of deprivation Merlin stared at the meals Balinor gave him with awe, and Balinor often had to remind him to eat properly, rather than trying to stuff everything into his mouth in one go.

Since Merlin's mood was calm enough Balinor decided another question session was in order. He could only get small amounts of information out of Merlin on each occasion, before he upset himself. Balinor had taken on a technique of asking sudden random questions and learning one fact at a time. His main concern now was finding out Merlin's background. If there was any hope of him having someone, a relative, or friend, who could take care of him, then Balinor might be able to do something about the situation.

"Merlin, where did you live before the slavers found you?"

Balinor turned as Merlin gave a soft mewl. He glanced at him, seeing Merlin's mood fade a little. Meeting Balinor's glance Merlin said.

"The village."

"There are lots of villages Merlin, what was the name of your village?" Balinor said, stepping over the ridge to carefully take the incline beyond. Merlin followed.

"Ealdor."

Balinor jerked to a halt, turning to look up at Merlin, who paused on the crest of the incline.

"Ealdor?" Balinor repeated with shock evident in his voice. He watched the apprehension appear on Merlin's face as he saw Balinor's reaction, and didn't understand it. Merlin bit down on his lower lip and nodded as Balinor reached for him, not only for reassurance, but also to stop Merlin from falling backwards down the small slope. He still wasn't entirely steady on his feet despite his returning strength.

"All right, Merlin, I'm not angry."

It always seemed to be Merlin's main concern. All things considered, Balinor could easily work out why Merlin didn't want to anger him. Balinor guessed the slavers had not acted kindly when Merlin had done something wrong. Although it was hard to work out exactly what Merlin would do, he seemed entirely placid as far as the Dragon Lord was concerned. Merlin didn't look entirely convinced of the reassurance.

"It took me by surprise," Balinor added. "I know Ealdor."

Balinor made sure Merlin was steady before letting him go again and Merlin trotted after him, Thor flitting from branch to branch above them gave them both something to look at, without them worrying about saying anything further. It was Merlin, surprisingly, that broke the silence.

"I don't remember you," Merlin, his mind trying to dredge up memories of things before the horses. Merlin forced the sound out of his mind and remembered the before.

"No," Balinor said, turning to glance at Merlin, assessing him carefully. "It would have been before you were born."

Balinor felt an odd shiver as he spoke, rippling up his spine and nagging at his mind that something was missing. There was significance to what he was saying, but he couldn't, at that moment, comprehend why. Merlin blinked, considering the idea that things might have occurred before he was even born. Balinor smiled at him. He hadn't remembered anyone with a child as young as Merlin would have been when Balinor was there. It was nearly nineteen years since he had been in the small village that had been his home for a while. He remembered it as one of the most contented times of his life.

They turned and walked again. Balinor felt like asking a rush of questions, as a heavy thought started to grow in his mind. Slavers had raided Ealdor, the village which was home to the woman he loved. He hadn't seen her for years, not since he had made his escape, unable to take her with him. It was too much of a risk, and he didn't dare return, he could not leave Uther any leverage against him. It was what Hunith would have been, if Uther had known. She had associated with a Dragon Lord. Uther might have taken exception to the entire village.

Only Hunith had known the truth of his situation. Gaius had sent him to her, knowing it was clear of Camelot's control, but in the end that hadn't mattered to Uther. He just wanted an end to the Dragon Lords. Balinor had been betrayed.

"Come on, let's go and look at the snares," Balinor said, turning his mind towards more practical things. He could carry on his conversation with Merlin later.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The snares proved fruitful, there was clearly a rabbit warren nearby. Several fat rabbits had been caught, so they paused to skin them and they wrapped up some of the meat to smoke, and cooked the rest for lunch. The skins would be perfect, Balinor thought, to make Merlin some gloves, and anything left over could be put into his boots to warm his feet.

Balinor blinked and shook his head. Merlin needed things, but what he really needed was support. Balinor had got to know many residents of Ealdor, and also knew the kin that some of them had in other villages. He could find someone to take in Merlin, who could look after him and help him grow.

They sat quietly, even Thor, who had been fed some of the rabbit guts as a treat. The bird was currently pecking at and playing with his new toys. Merlin looked around keeping most of his attention on the roasting rabbit meat, glancing at Balinor on occasion and then at Thor, grimacing a little as he watched the bird eat.

"Merlin, what was your mother's name? I must have known her." Balinor asked. People didn't move around a lot. They tended to stick to their own villages, living and dying there. Merlin looked up and Balinor watched him struggle to answer. There were so many things lost in Merlin's mind. The trauma had left him so badly damaged, keeping him in a childish state. Balinor reached out to gently take Merlin's arm, grasping gently for reassurance. Merlin's eyes lost focus for a moment.

"Can you remember Merlin?"

"Mother," Merlin said, his voice distant, lost in a memory.

"Can you remember her name?" Balinor pushed. "You would have called her Mother, what did other people call her?"

Merlin frowned, clearly struggling with it, but Balinor could see him making the effort to try and bring the information to mind. Balinor didn't push him, he just waited to see if Merlin's thought processes would come together. Balinor himself was mentally compiling a list of the women of the village, someone who could have borne Merlin. He didn't bear any significant resemblance to anyone that he remembered, and the village had been small. He had been treated with suspicion when he had first arrived, from Camelot.

As Merlin blinked, his thoughts coming together Balinor felt a cold rush through his body. Merlin stumbled, stammering as he put the letters and syllables together, but eventually he reached deep enough to find what he wanted.

"Hunith."

His wide blue eyes gazed at Balinor, looking for a reaction. Probably for any sign of anger, and there was some interest, since it was now entirely possible that Balinor had known her.

"You mother was Hunith," Balinor asked gently. Merlin nodded.

"Did you know her?" Merlin asked, his question utterly innocent, but to Balinor it was loaded with intent. There was a distraction as they took the roasting meat off the fire and set up their food for lunch. As they both worked, Merlin's eyes strayed to Balinor, as if he was waiting for more questions, or information.

They settled down to eat. Balinor sat on a fallen log and Merlin tucked himself at his feet, sitting with his back against the wood and drawing his knees up to his chest. It seemed to be a very automatic way for Merlin to sit, he often settled that way, as if he was trying to make himself as small and insignificant as possible. Balinor didn't make any effort to stop him, certain things would sort themselves out in their own time.

Merlin started to scoff his food down and then lifted his eyes to look in Balinor's direction, before slowing the movement of his jaw so he was chewing slowly. Balinor returned the gaze, smiling slightly to reassure Merlin he was not angry. Which bolstered Merlin's confidence to ask.

"Did you know my mother?"

Merlin felt calm asking the question, remembering the before. The sound of the horses threatened at the back of his mind, but he pushed them away. He could talk about the before, before the slavers had come. Previously Merlin had hidden it, deep away. He didn't want to think about the before, not when the horrible things were happening.

Now the before was easy. The Cave Man, as Merlin still mentally referred to Balinor, knew about the before. And Merlin could connect before with the present, and with Balinor who was kind, and didn't hurt him. It made it easier for Merlin to remember when he had been happy, and felt safe, contained within the small village, with people he had known all his short life. They were all gone now.

The black cloud of the loss was pushed aside as Balinor announced.

"Yes, Merlin, I did know your mother."

He watched Merlin's face brighten with interest. Then he looked confused as Balinor asked.

"What about your father Merlin?"

Merlin's blue eyes just looked baffled and he shrugged. Balinor blinked, the knot of certainty tightening up inside him. He stared at Merlin, trying to see something that he knew was there, facts storing up in his mind.

"Don't have one," Merlin said. Then another thought seemed to occur to him. "Did you know my father?"

Balinor reached out to brush the loose ends of Merlin's hair out of his eyes. Merlin blinked, but he didn't flinch, he had long ago ceased doing so when Balinor touched him, or moved swiftly. Balinor felt his heart start to pound, he felt a little light-headed and hot.

"Yes, Merlin, I think I did."

Merlin shifted position slightly, uncurling his legs and turning so he could look up at Balinor with greater intent. Balinor swallowed heavily, and Thor hopped closer, landing on Merlin's ankle, just above the rough leather and furs that Balinor had put together to make Merlin some boots. The crow started to preen his feathers and then he looked up, eyeing the scene with interest.

"When I went to Ealdor, I stayed with your mother," Balinor said. "She was very kind, and wonderful, and she took me in."

Merlin blinked and smiled, but it was clear nothing connected in his mind. Balinor looked at the boy staring up at him, he was of the right age, quite possibly Hunith herself hadn't known of her condition when he had been forced to flee. Surely if she was aware, she would have told him. But then, what good would that have done? Balinor asked himself.

"We became close, it was nice, staying there with her."

Again there was nothing in Merlin's gaze. Balinor flinched, how could he try and explain their relationship, and what had come from it, to a child who knew nothing of such things, except abuse and pain. He could perhaps frighten Merlin with the knowledge of their relationship. It was too late now, Balinor was committed.

"While we were together, we were…" Balinor paused, he had to stop hedging. "I think Merlin, that there is a very strong certainty that I might be your father."

The news made Merlin look confused. "But you weren't there."

"I know. I never knew your mother was even pregnant with you, and something happened, which meant I had to leave."

"What? Why?" Merlin asked.

"Someone was chasing me, and it wasn't safe to stay. If they had known that I loved your mother they would have hurt her."

"They did hurt her," Merlin said, looking furious and frightened. Balinor flinched.

"What happened to her, Merlin?"

"She tried to stop the men, the horse hit her," Merlin said, closing his eyes as the thunder of hooves started in his mind again, the steady drumming beat that danced over his memories. "Her head broke."

Balinor gave a sharp intake of breath, closing his eyes as the pain stabbed through him, the certain knowledge that the woman he loved was gone. He had known he could never see her again, but he had felt reassured that she was safe, and well. Now all that had been turned on its head.

He ran his fingers through Merlin's hair, and spoke gently.

"I'm sorry, Merlin."

He felt Merlin's body tremor, and Balinor watched as Merlin blinked frantically, giving a heavy swallow. His eyes started to sparkle glassily and reaching out Balinor put a gentle arm around Merlin. For a second there was a flicker of tension before Merlin shuffled closer, pressing himself against Balinor's leg and Merlin rested his head on Balinor's thigh. His entire body shuddered as the first sob escaped him.

Merlin hadn't cried. Not at the sight of his mother's death, not when the first man had raped him that night, not when he had been beaten and abused. It was now, the moment he had someone to hold onto, someone that he instinctively knew would understand. Balinor did, he wrapped his arm around Merlin, holding him painfully tight, and clung on as Merlin's grief exploded out of him.

Balinor's hand ran up and down Merlin's back as his body heaved with sobs, and he curled himself tighter against his father. He put his cheek down on the top of Merlin's head and just held on.

"I'm sorry son, I'm so sorry."


	4. Chapter 4

**I was reading The Mammoth Hunters when the idea for this part of the story came up. And don't worry, some of the other characters will be making appearences from the next chapter onward. Just in a very different order.**

Merlin was in no fit state to carry on travelling, and Balinor felt drained of energy, so they set up camp where they were. As darkness fell Merlin looked around warily, huddling close to the fire and jumping as the woods shimmered with noise. His face was blotchy, and his eyes rubbed red and Balinor watched him with concern.

"Come on, Merlin, you need to get some sleep now."

"Outside?" Merlin asked, looking frightened.

"Yes, it's fine, come on now, I'll be here, it's safe."

"What if the men come?"

Balinor frowned and shook his head. "They won't I promise."

Merlin looked down, leaning against Balinor as he pulled him close. He clung to his father, pressing his face against his broad shoulder, until Balinor patiently extracted Merlin and encouraged him into his bedroll.

"I'm right here Merlin," Balinor assured him. His blankets were next to Merlin's, so the boy was protected by himself and the fire. There wasn't anything to worry about. Balinor had lived in the woods for years, he knew them, and he knew the areas that were never ventured into. Merlin, however, was not someone who could be so easily reassured. It was a trait that was entirely expected.

Balinor watched as Merlin lay down and closed his eyes, as if he was resolutely trying to sleep. After a few moments Merlin's eyes opened just a little. Balinor settled down next to his son and Merlin's eyes closed again. The Dragon Lord could feel the tension in Merlin as he lay there, now out of his comfort zone. The cave was nice and safe, the outside frightened him a little. Balinor reached out and anchored Merlin by gripping his arm.

"It's all right Merlin, you'll be safe, I promise."

He wasn't surprised when Merlin wriggled closer to him, dragging the blanket with him, and Balinor carefully accommodated Merlin against his side. Merlin snuggled against him and settled down, his eyes opened a fraction, as if making sure of Balinor's presence, then he close them again.

Very slowly Merlin started to relax, and Balinor waited patiently, stroking Merlin's hair, until Merlin's breathing levelled out and his body relaxed completely. He waited until he was sure that Merlin was deeply asleep before shifting position and tucking Merlin up in his bedding. Balinor stayed close to him, not wanting to scare Merlin if he woke. He would need to feel Balinor's presence the moment he roused.

He looked down at his son's face in the flickering light, considering the facts that they both now knew. He brushed a hand lightly over Merlin's cheekbone. Merlin didn't stir, once he was asleep he slept deeply. Balinor considered the significance of Merlin's appearance in his life. It didn't seem like coincidence that Merlin had stumbled upon him.

There was no way that Balinor could seek someone to take Merlin in. Balinor wasn't sure he wanted that. Merlin was the only link he had to the woman he loved, Merlin was the child that was born of their time together. The only other person who could care for Merlin that Balinor could think of was Gaius, and that was too much of a risk.

He wouldn't even be able to get Merlin to him, and he couldn't send Merlin on his own. And if Uther Pendragon realised who, and what, Merlin was he would kill Merlin without a second though. Plus, Merlin was his son, he also that the potential to be a Dragon Lord, which increased the responsibility he had for Merlin. It was also the thing that could explain why Merlin had run at that moment.

Balinor hadn't really understood his own actions. He was not a particularly cruel man, but his solitary life, and the circumstances that had brought it about made him bitter, unwanting of company. Yet, he hadn't thought to chase Merlin from his home, he had felt a sudden protectiveness towards to youth that hadn't been roused in him in years.

There had been a lingering thread of something, and Merlin's magic had become dormant within him, concentrating itself internally. Balinor had been amazed at the strength in Merlin's frail body, until that display with Thor had released Merlin's potential. Such magic was not bestowed lightly, his talent was extraordinary and beyond anything Balinor had ever seen before. Whatever purpose was driving Merlin had found a way to move his destiny along.

It could be the only reason that after eight years Merlin had suddenly taken it upon himself to flee, and so directly to Balinor that he had to have felt some connection. The thought stirred worry in Balinor. His child was in no fit state to do anything. Balinor knew, he had no choice, Merlin was his responsibility, and his to care for.

Maybe it was just as simple as that.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The winter had been hard, but no worse than usual. They ventured out from the cave, on a cold morning, but the sun was bright, making the snow laid across the ground glitter. Merlin scurried out, carefully negotiating the snow drifts around the cave entrance, but moving confidently. He was used to his surroundings now, and very settled in them. Balinor had liked Merlin's company in the cave and his magic had certainly helped, as he could make the fire burn hotter, shift the build up of snow by the entrance with a mere thought. Merlin liked it. From what Balinor had been able to understand, Hunith had warned Merlin to be careful, to never show what he could do. If they ever encountered other people, Balinor would have to make sure Merlin was careful but for the time being it was just the two of them, and Merlin had nothing to fear.

"Be careful!" Balinor called as he followed Merlin into the woods. Merlin turned and paused, wrapped up in the layers of clothes that Balinor had acquired for him, in a trip to the town before winter settled in. He did it three times a year, heading in to trade and buy what he needed. The locals were used to him, even if they weren't very fond of him. For the trip he had been forced to leave Merlin, which Merlin hadn't liked very much. However, Balinor did not want anyone knowing he had Merlin with him. If the slavers were still working in the area, then Balinor needed to make sure there was no gossip about the appearance of Merlin.

He had promised Merlin he would be back, and Merlin had waited all day, hardly daring to move from his position by the cave, staring at the spot where Balinor had headed off. When he had returned Merlin had come running down the track, face alight with relief and pleasure at the sight of him. He had thrown his arms around Balinor's neck as if he had not seen him for years. It had left Balinor feeling oddly moved, but very pleased.

"Yes, father!" Merlin yelled at him now before heading further off into the snowy woods. Balinor felt a surge of pleasure each time Merlin said that word. Merlin seemed to like using it. Balinor followed him, looking around to see if there was anything they could use. Food was getting low, they needed to check the snares, just in case. They could manage, but Balinor would feel happier if they could gather a little bit more.

As he moved through the trees he paused. Merlin was hunkered down by one of the snares. It was empty, and broken, a trail of blood leading away from the site. Merlin was peering at it, and the tracks that led away from the small clearing.

"Wolf tracks," Balinor said. Merlin looked up with wide eyes.

"It took our food."

"It's probably hungry," Balinor said. "It get's hard for everything in winter. We can try the other snares, come on."

He tugged Merlin up onto his feet and they made their way through the woods. They came across the tracks again, and distracted by them, Merlin followed, heading deeper into the forest. The canopy became thicker, blocking out the light but Merlin carried on undeterred, he wasn't alone, Thor was flitting through the trees above him, having decided, when the cold set in, that the cave was a warm, comfortable place to see out the winter.

The bird gave a low caw and flew off, gliding to the floor and disappearing just over a small ridge. Merlin trotted after him, freezing in shock as he looked at the wolf below. It was lying still on the ground, tucked against the thick roots of an oak tree. Merlin stared at the beast, frightened to move, and he looked around for Balinor. Then his attention turned back to the wolf as Thor swooped down, hopped around for a moment before waddling up the wolf's shoulder to peck at the wolf's left eye. Merlin gasped in shock, running down the slope he batted the crow away.

"Bad, bad Thor!"

Thor hopped about, trying to get around him. Merlin completely forgot the potential danger he could have been in, instead he focused on the bird's behaviour. As he turned back he realised he wasn't in any danger. The wolf wasn't moving, it's remaining eye staring glassily at nothing. A light layer of snow had lightened the wolf's fur. The beast hadn't moved, because it was dead.

Merlin crouched down and stroked the fur gently, brushing some of the snow away to reveal almost black fur. He petted the wolf's head.

"Poor wolf," Merlin said, petting again. Then he placed his hand on the head, pressing his palm against the skull, just between the wolf's ears.

"Merlin!" Balinor yelled. It made Merlin jump and he turned his head.

"Here, Father!" he yelled back. A moment later Balinor appeared, tensing as he saw the startling scene, and then moving closer he realised the large wolf was dead. Merlin put his hand down, feeling the surge of his power. Balinor grabbed his wrist.

"No, Merlin. It's dead, you can't change that."

"Why not?"

"Things die Merlin, that's the way it has to be, you can't go changing that."

"Did Thor!"

Thor squawked in agreement and attempted to get at the wolf's eyes again. Balinor gently batted the bird away. Thor hopped around to peck at the wolf's tail instead, and then the bird hopped over the beast, wriggling behind its back.

"Thor wasn't dead, you healed Thor. This is different Merlin; it's bad to bring things back once they are dead. It's not the natural order. When things die, they have to stay dead."

"Like mother?" Merlin asked. Balinor smiled gently, brushing Merlin's hair back off his face and thinking that he probably needed to cut Merlin's hair soon.

"Yes, I'm afraid so Merlin. We can use the fur though, so it doesn't get wasted. Move you silly bird!" Balinor snapped hoisting Thor out of the way and he pushed the animal onto its side, feeling its prominent ribs and seeing the stark hipbones. It wasn't surprising the creature had died, out on its own. No other wolves occupied the area, the Dragon Lord knew that. Balinor paused as he looked at the wolf's belly.

"Oh."

"What?" Merlin asked.

"She's got pups, no wonder she was taking from our snares. She's got young ones to feed."

"Where?" Merlin said.

"I don't know Merlin, she could have been keeping them anywhere."

Merlin frowned, he wasn't happy with the scenario. Thor hopped into the small crevice created by the thick roots of the tree and came back a moment later with a prize in his beak. Merlin yelped and swiped at the crow again, making Thor drop the pup in shock. It landed on the ground with a hard thump and gave a little mewl. Merlin followed up with one of his own, reaching over to pick up the pup in both hands. It wriggled around in his grip, mewling again as Merlin stroked it's head. Then he looked at Balinor.

"No, Merlin, we can't keep a wolf."

Merlin looked at Balinor with disbelief.

"We can't leave it!"

One look at Merlin's face told Balinor he couldn't. His son's distress was clear. He didn't see the wolf like the other animals they used. This one had taken from the snares, so it seemed to have gained a little more status in Merlin's mind. Balinor reached out for the pup, Merlin's hands tightened around it.

"Just give it to me, Merlin," Balinor ordered.

Merlin sucked in his lower lip but did as he was told and Balinor put the pup against its mother's belly. It searched out a teat and sucked happily.

"It will need to take what it can now. I don't even know how it's here, wolves don't usually give birth at the end of winter."

"It's special," Merlin said, watching the wolf carefully. Balinor glanced at Merlin and then at the wolf. Black was not a very usual colour. There were tints of grey in the female's fur, but Balinor would have assessed her as black. By the look of the fur on the pup it was going to be much the same colour.

After the pup had finished feeding Balinor helped Merlin tuck it into his clothing, close to his chest and Merlin petted his torso carefully.

"You need to keep it in there so it stays warm," Balinor said. Then he looked at the mother. They needed food, there was no guarantee the weather would stay mild, and continue its way into spring. With two of them to feed, three and four if he counted Thor and the pup, he wasn't going to waste what he could get from the mother. It would do for the animals. He tied the front and back feet together and hefted her over his shoulders and carried on with Merlin to check the rest of the snares and the surrounding area for anything else they could use. Merlin held the little wolf to his chest and followed along behind, while Balinor tried to ignore the things that seemed to be happening.

Wolves had never been in the woods before, and now one appeared, one that would no doubt be a permanent addition to the cave.

When they returned to the cave, paying closer attention to the pup it revealed itself to have light blue eyes in contrast to the dark fur. Balinor tried not to think about the implications.

Fate was closing in on his son.


	5. Chapter 5

Gwaine knew when he had to admit certain things. He had lost his pursuers and had proceeded to get himself lost. All he could do was continue in the same direction and hope that he met some type of life, other than the squirrels and birds in the forest.

He paused to rest against a large tree and took his hand away from his hip. He wasn't going to admit that he couldn't go on for much longer. A very irritating part of his mind was informing him that he was an idiot not to accept that. What else could he do? He had to carry on, he did not want to end up trapped out here in the woods.

Then he realised he had sat down. He tried to get up but found that his leg wouldn't work. Gwaine took a deep breath and fumbled for purchase on the tree, to lever himself upright. There was a sound from above him and jerking his head upwards he stared at the dark bird on the branch over his head. It tilted it's head as it regarded him with glittering eyes. Gwaine felt oddly uncomfortable, especially when the crow lifted it's beak and started to caw.

Gwaine forced himself upright and blinked. He felt cold, but he was sweating. He put his hand on the wound and winced at how sticky the area felt. All he managed was two steps before he slumped again. He stayed on his knees for a moment and then lurched back as the undergrowth parted and what looked like a wolf trotted through. It was young, no more than a few months old, but it was big enough, the fur so dark it was almost black. It lifted it's muzzle and sniffed the air, picking up the scent of blood. Gwaine shuffled back as it's lips pulled back, baring the sharp white teeth. As the animal advanced he pulled his sword, realising how heavy it felt in his hand, the hilt slipping against his sweaty and bloodied palm. The wolf paused as Gwaine swiped in the beast's direction, it's ears flattening as it tried to understand what was going on. Then it sniffed again, pushing it's nose to the ground, picking up the scents and it tried advancing again. Gwaine braced himself back against a large tree and lifted his sword again. He had no intention of becoming the wolf's next meal.

Then he decided, he must be dead, or having some kind of near death hallucination, when a tall, skinny youth ran out from the trees and grabbed the wolf by the scruff of the neck, hauling the beast away from Gwaine.

"Cyan, no!" Merlin shouted at the wolf. Cyan, named for his rather distinctive eyes, paused and looked up at Merlin, and then back towards Gwaine. Gwaine still had his sword up, eyeing the scene with mild shock. Merlin tightened his double-handed grip on the scruff of Cyan's neck. The only reason he had rushed forward was seeing the man wave the sword and he didn't want the wolf getting hurt. Thor swooped down from his branch, and hopped about, flapping his wings. It made Gwaine jump, and his sword dropped, falling from his grip. He blinked and tried to reach for it, taking several grabs before he could get it into his hand.

Once he managed it he lifted the weapon again. Merlin, who had been carefully advancing, paused and backed up a step, brushing against Cyan who was following close behind him. The wolf snarled, sensing Merlin's sudden apprehension. Men with swords were bad people, Merlin thought. The slavers had carried swords. Gwaine blinked unsteadily and lowered his sword again, trying to focus his gaze on the scene in front of him.

Merlin stepped forward tentatively. The stranger didn't look like a bad man, he looked to be in trouble. Moving slowly, Cyan directly behind him, his head brushing against Merlin's leg, Merlin stepped forward. The man made no attempt to pick up the sword again and as he crouched down Merlin took hold of the weapon gingerly and placed it to one side, behind him, so the man couldn't reach it. Turning back he watched the man blink again, clearing his vision, and he gave a grin.

"I'm starting to presume that you are not some strange death vision," Gwaine said. He watched the youth frown in confusion, and then as the wolf pushed forward the youth pushed him back.

"No, stop," Merlin ordered him. Cyan nuzzled against Merlin, rubbed his muzzle against his arm and then latching on to grab his sleeve, holding it tightly. Gwaine watched with mild concern but the wolf didn't bite down on the boy's arm, he just tugged.

"Not play now. Stop that!" Merlin snapped at Thor, who was hopping around Gwaine's far side, trying to get at the blood staining his side. Reaching over Merlin carefully eased Gwaine's hand away from his hip and exposed the wound. The gash was deep, and Gwaine had lost a lot of blood. Beyond that Merlin didn't know how bad the damage was, but he knew what to do. He looked around, spotting some thick, fern leaves growing in the undergrowth.

Getting up Merlin stepped over Gwaine's legs and trotted over to the bush, yanking several leaves off. Then he came back, kneeling by Gwaine again, and he pressed the leaves on, applying pressure to the wound. Then he looked up at Cyan.

"Father!" Merlin said to him, gesturing with a now blood stained hand. Cyan's eyes watched it with interest and Merlin then elbowed Thor off Gwaine's leg, while still looked at the wolf. "Get Father!"

Cyan bounced away, and then paused, tail wagging and panting. Merlin glared at him again.

"Go! Father!" Merlin snapped at him.

The wolf needed no more prompting. He understood the commands, and knew what Merlin required of him. Cyan ran off, following back on their trail to locate Balinor. The young wolf had, over the last few months, worked out the social structure of his strange pack. Balinor most definitely rated as the Alpha male, and Merlin Cyan regarded as a litter mate, although Cyan did view Merlin as somewhat dominant to him, even though the wolf, due to his bulk, often won the rough and tumble games they played. He knew the order Merlin had given was to fetch the leader, which Balinor had carefully trained into the animal, just in case Merlin ever needed it.

While he waited Merlin kept the pressure on, unsure what else to do. He shrugged the water skin off his shoulder and opened it one handed and offered it to Gwaine. Merlin had to help him but Gwaine managed to drink a few sips, which eased his dry throat.

"Thank you," Gwaine said, and then grinned at Merlin. "I'm Gwaine."

"My name's Merlin."

"Unusual friends you have Merlin," Gwaine said, looking at Thor, who regarded him carefully before hopping onto a low perch and the bird began preening his feathers.

"You're hurt," Merlin said.

"Yes."

"Are you a bad man?" Merlin asked. Gwaine raised his eyebrows, and dropped his head back against the tree.

"I wouldn't have said so," Gwaine answered. Merlin pointed at the sword.

"But bad men have swords."

"Good people have swords too, otherwise who would stop the bad men?" Gwaine reasoned. Merlin frowned, pushing out his lower lip as he thought about it.

"Did a bad man hurt you?" Merlin asked, sounding worried. Gwaine smiled, his head lolling and he realised he was on the brink of unconsciousness, the adrenaline in his body wearing off.

"Not exactly, but…"

"Merlin!" Balinor shouted.

"Here father!" Merlin replied, turning away from Gwaine. A moment later Cyan burst through the undergrowth and Balinor in tow, his face filled with concern, it turned to shock as he looked at Gwaine sat there, propped against a tree, and Merlin's hands pressing down on the wound.

"Gwaine's hurt," Merlin announced, turning back as he felt Gwaine slump. He gave a little cry as Gwaine's head dropped and he slid sideways, almost crashing onto Merlin. Balinor moved closer, helping reposition Gwaine and lifting his head assessed him carefully.

"He's just passed out, Merlin. He's asleep."

Merlin whimpered in worry. Cyan trotted over, butting his head against Merlin's shoulder and then licked at his neck and face. Merlin petted him absently while he watched Balinor assess the wound.

"Get some more leaves Merlin, we need to take him back to the cave."

Merlin nodded, scurrying to do as he was told. Balinor packed the wound as best he could manage and then carefully lifted Gwaine up, hoisting the unconscious man over his shoulder making sure he didn't touch the wound too heavily. Merlin carefully picked up Gwaine's sword, holding it tentatively and he followed after Balinor as they headed back towards home.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

When Gwaine woke, he wondered again if he was hallucinating. He looked around the cave and watched as Thor pecked at something in a bowl on the floor. The bird seemed quite happy with whatever it was, until the wolf trotted in and pounced forward, yapping and darting at Thor. Thor flapped, hopped out of the way and tried to peck at the wolf. Cyan backed off, aware of the pain Thor's beak could bring, but he snapped his jaws at the crow as he tried to go back to the bowl of food.

They carried on for a minute or so, the two animals darting about furiously until Merlin, alerted by the noise, came running in.

"Bad!" he announced. "Bad Thor!" he accused the crow. The crow cawed and it almost sounded like a yelp as Merlin unceremoniously picked the bird up and dumped it on the end of a nearby table, by a small bowl.

"Own food!" Merlin announced. Behind him Cyan tucked into the bowl that Thor had been feeding from. Thor pecked at his own food, and then hopped to the end of the bench to regard Cyan. "No!" Merlin snapped, realising the bird's intention. It made Cyan pause, looking up at Merlin. Then he put his head down again, regarding Thor carefully. The wolf couldn't quite work out the bird's social standing within the group. Thor acted dominant, and quite uncaring of anyone's opinion. Merlin's telling off never really made much of an impression on the bird, but Cyan knew he could beat the bird in a fight. He hadn't tried to since the time he had almost taken Thor's wing off, resulting in Balinor disciplining him and Merlin spending the day refusing to play with him.

Merlin jumped as Gwaine started to laugh at the whole scene. He turned around and looked at Gwaine in surprise. Gwaine made an effort to sit up a little.

"What am I doing in this bed?" Gwaine asked. Merlin crossed over to him and hunkered down next to the cluster of blankets that made up his bed.

"Sleeping," Merlin said, stating the obvious. Gwaine laughed again. Merlin pouted.

"Not now," Merlin said. "But father said you had to rest, you were hurt."

"I do remember that bit Merlin," Gwaine said.

"How did you get hurt?" Merlin asked.

"Got into a fight over a small gambling debt."

"What's gambling?" Merlin asked, and then added after a pause. "And debt?"

Gwaine smiled. "You make a wager with someone, you say you have better cards than they do, and you win the money if you do. If the people don't really have that money, they have a debt instead, which you have to pay. Do you know what cards are?" he asked teasingly, and then he frowned as Merlin's face dropped and he looked unhappy.

"Jarl used to play cards, I was the debt," Merlin said sadly. Gwaine winced.

"Is Jarl a bad man?"

Merlin's head bobbed up and down. "I ran away."

"That sounds like a good idea," Gwaine said. Merlin rocked back, dropping onto his rump, but staying in position with his feet up against his backside and his knees tucked to his chest and he regarded Gwaine carefully.

"Were you running away?"

"Yep," Gwaine said.

"Why? You've got a sword."

"One sword won't work very well against six men with swords," Gwaine said.

"Were they bad men?" Merlin asked. Gwaine shrugged.

"Not really, just angry men."

"They hurt you," Merlin pointed out.

"That doesn't necessarily make people bad Merlin."

Merlin looked utterly confused by that. He was distracted from his moral dilemma by Balinor walking in. Merlin pointed at Gwaine.

"Gwaine's awake," Merlin announced.

"I can see that Merlin," Balinor said. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, much better. Thanks for the help," Gwaine said.

"My son has rather a habit of picking up injured strays and bringing them home," Balinor announced, putting the herbs and the two rabbits he had collected down on the table. Thor hopped along to investigate. Balinor swatted him away. Thor hopped off the table and flew over to Cyan landing on his back. Cyan turned round, trying to tilt his head and see what was going on, and then he snapped his teeth at Thor. Gwaine grinned at Balinor as another crow and wolf row ensued.

"That must be fun for you."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The next day Gwaine found out that it was certainly fun for Merlin. He limped out, the wound feeling much better. Balinor had stitched the gash and applied a compress. Considering how he felt yesterday Gwaine thought it was nothing short of a miracle that he could move around as well as he was. As he left the cave he spotted Merlin and Cyan indulging in a spot of play fighting.

They were trying to push each other about, Merlin grappling with the young wolf, clenching his fingers in the thick fur, while the wolf used his paws and muzzle against him. Gwaine watched for a moment as Cyan grabbed Merlin's shoulder between his teeth, but Merlin remained unperturbed and the wolf didn't hurt him. He had learnt how rough he could be with his playmate. Merlin got his arms around the wolf's neck, trying to pull him over onto his side. Merlin giggled and Cyan responded with a rumble deep in his chest, before hefting his shoulder against Merlin and slamming him onto his back, putting his weight on Merlin to pin him. Merlin tried to push him off but he couldn't move the wolf's denser bulk, and he laughed even more as Cyan licked around his neck and face. Merlin changed his grip from the wolf's thick fur around his shoulders and rubbed his belly, pushing again and Cyan dropped to his side, rolling over so Merlin could rub his stomach and rest his head under Cyan's muzzle. The wolf lay on his back, paws in the air while he made contented little rumblings, and Merlin giggled again. But as Cyan rolled around he saw and scented Gwaine and gave an aggressive sound as the man moved too close. Merlin jerked back and looked up.

"Bad!" He said to Cyan. "Gwaine nice."

Cyan rolled onto his belly and looked up, regarding Gwaine carefully. Merlin wrapped his arms around Cyan's neck and pulled him up, shuffling closer to Gwaine.

"Gwaine nice," Merlin repeated. Cyan thought about that and leaning forward sniffed Gwaine's hand. Gwaine didn't dare move but after a moment Cyan licked his hand and the wolf's tail started to wag, he almost looked ready to jump on Gwaine, who stepped back and winced as he strained his stitches. Merlin held tighter to Cyan, who rumbled again.

"Not hurt," Merlin ordered. Cyan paused, paced forward again, dragging Merlin with him and he sniffed Gwaine and seemed to understand the words as his nose lingered close to Gwaine's wound. Cyan repeated the friendly gesture and licked Gwaine's hand and then rubbed himself against Merlin, butting his head on his shoulder and sending Merlin over, making the youth giggle. Cyan pounced and the fight started again. Gwaine backed off, not wanted to get that involved while he was hurt and still wary of the wolf. Merlin had no fear of him.

"You seem better," Balinor said, appearing by Gwaine's side and making him jump. Balinor smirked in amusement.

"I am, thank you. I should be able to move on tomorrow."

Merlin gave a mewl of disappointment, as he lay sprawled under Cyan. Cyan licked him to get his attention again.

"I don't think you can keep Gwaine," Balinor told his son gently. "Where are you heading?"

"I was thinking of aiming for Camelot, it's the easiest way out of Cenred's lands, he's up to something, men are being press-ganged into his army, it isn't safe in any of the villages."

"I've been around here a long time, things like that have happened before. And bear in mind, if he's really building up his army then there is probably one place he will aim it."

"Yes, I may not stay in Camelot's boarders for long, just enough to get myself out of range. You might want to think about moving that way a little."

Balinor smiled. "I cannot, I am banished from Camelot, and I doubt Uther would take to kindly to my presence. We're well hidden here."

Gwaine raised his eyebrows. There was only one real reason that that might happen. Balinor's face gave nothing away, but the steady gaze made Gwaine reluctant to press any further. They turned away from each other, Merlin and Cyan's play making for an easy distraction.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Balinor however ended up giving just a slightest trace of something away to Gwaine as he asked him for a favour, and Gwaine set out with food, his sword and his injury healing well.

And he paused at a village tavern and as a blond man tried to prevent a thug from threatening the tavern owner out of some of her takings, he considered Merlin's thoughts on bad men. With that in mind, he got involved when the blond man and his friend ended up tangling with the thugs. As he was stabbed in the leg just though, 'oh, not again'.

Gwaine felt perturbed when he woke up in an unfamiliar bed, and he looked around carefully, jumping as there was a clatter from behind him and then an old man wandered into his line of sight.

"Oh, you're awake," the old man announced sounding mildly offended.

Gwaine grinned at him. "Yes, I am, where am I?"

"Camelot, Arthur wanted you looked after, after what you did."

"Okay," Gwaine said. "Who's Arthur and what did I do?"

"Prince Arthur, and you saved his life."

"Oh, the blond man, in the tavern."

"Yes," the old man said. "You were lucky, although you shouldn't have been fighting in the first place."

"Probably not, but I often can't help myself. So where in Camelot am I?"

"Within the citadel. I'm Gaius the court physician, you'll have to stay a while until that leg heals. Your other wound is well enough; I redressed it, although whoever dealt with it did a very competent job."

Gwaine regarded Gaius for a moment before saying. "An old friend of yours, by all account."

Gaius turned to look at him, while Gwaine looked around. "Are we alone?"

"Yes," Gaius snapped, confused and slightly perturbed, Gwaine's words making him wary. After looking around and reassuring himself they were truly alone he turned back to Gaius.

"Balinor."

"Oh, he's still alive."

"And well, very well, I was heading this way so he asked me to come and see you, so you could check up on his work with my wound."

Gaius nodded, looking increasingly intrigued by what Gwaine was saying.

"Although he's not living along anymore. He said to tell you, he's got Merlin with him."

Gwaine was the next one to be perturbed, as Gaius' reacted to the news. He thought the old man was about to collapse in shock, he closed his eyes and sagged dramatically before his head came back up and he grabbed a stool, scraping it across the floor next to Gwaine's cot and he sat down, leaning forward.

"Merlin? Merlin's with him."

"Since a few months ago, he's fine, they're both fine."

"Did he mention anyone else?"

"Hunith, she died when Merlin was taken." Gwaine repeated the words. He wasn't told the story, Balinor didn't want him knowing too much, but Gwaine wouldn't have told, and never would tell, anyone else this information. Balinor had asked him to take it, to tell only Gaius, who seemed grief stricken and relieved at the news.

"Merlin, he's all right? Balinor knows who he is."

"Fine and well," Gwaine said. "And I presume so. I was just asked to deliver the message, I don't know any more than that."

As he looked at Gaius' face he was glad he had brought the news however dramatically he had got himself to Gaius.

It seemed to be of very vital important.


	6. Chapter 6

**In answer to questions that have been raised. This story is not moving in the same timeline as the series. One person's appearance here, in a slightly different guise, explains why the hell Arthur hasn't died in certain co-incidental stories and others will be explained later. Some of the story line here has happened earlier than in the series, which is why Gwaine appeared first, and why how he met Arthur was entirely the same but ahead of itself in the timeline. Not saying any more, not going to give anything away. Yes, I know I'm evil ;-)**

**Whirlwind421, love the soup analogy, when I make soup it is not only usually very thick, but also tends to have bits in it. You get a prize if you find one! **

"We can't be far now," Arthur said as they pressed on through the forest. The tavern keeper had directed them this way, and they were following the stream, as instructed. Behind him Lancelot said nothing and Arthur didn't dare turn back to check on his servant.

Lancelot wouldn't comment on it but Arthur knew he had been hurt badly in the dragon attack. He had run forward to save Gwen, who had selflessly gone to the well for water, the patients in the makeshift ward had needed it. Now Lancelot was hurt, and Arthur knew he shouldn't have brought him, but he couldn't have anyone else with him on this foolhardy mission. He knew Gwen had been worried when they left, for both of them.

Arthur again assured himself it would work. Gaius had been wary of telling Uther about the Dragon Lord, but in the end, seeing the death and destruction the physician clearly felt he had no choice. The man, Balinor, had been banished for something he was born with, the ability to control a dragon. Arthur couldn't quite comprehend his father's thinking. People who wielded magic were seen as evil, but some did nothing other than try and help people. Arthur could see how people became corrupted by it, and he could see the bad things that happened. Enough people tried to kill him with magic that he knew it's danger, but people also used it to heal, and encourage crops to grow. That didn't seem evil to Arthur. But he couldn't find anyone to try and latch his confusion onto, so he could understand it. Lancelot listened, but he often agreed with him, just because Arthur was the prince, and therefore needed agreeing with. It didn't always happen, Lancelot was too strategic a fighter and alert to most things that he often raised his opinion, when Arthur asked for it, or when the situation seemed too dangerous. Lancelot was very polite when he disagreed, so he almost made it sound like he wasn't actually disagreeing in the first place.

You're thinking too much, Arthur said to himself. He had to concentrate on what he was doing, which was finding this Dragon Lord and getting him to help.

No one had any idea who had released the dragon from its prison. Uther was blaming a sorcerer, the chain which had held the dragon had been almost burnt through, the links blackened with soot and part of the metal melted. Lancelot had examined it carefully and bringing a section of broken link to Arthur also pointed out where a sword had connected with the chain. That really didn't narrow it down, it just told them whoever had done it had a sword, and quite a few people had swords.

Arthur couldn't understand why anyone would release the beast. It was a dangerous animal, and proving itself to be. As far as Arthur could see, no one in Camelot would have unleashed the dragon, but maybe whoever had done knew what the dragon would do. It was almost perfect, Camelot was falling, part of the town destroyed, the defences crumbling, and the death toll was rising every night. Even if the creature didn't get to his father, or him, it was still going to destroy the kingdom. Only the Dragon Lord could save them. Arthur had to make him agree, and promise him safe passage from Camelot once the deed was done.

Behind him Lancelot was panting heavily and he was so busy concentrating on walking that he didn't realise Arthur had stopped until he gently bumped into him. Arthur turned, but he couldn't exactly be irritated with Lancelot. His servant blinked and shook his head to liven himself up.

"Sorry, My Lord."

"Maybe we should stop and rest."

Lancelot shook his head, Arthur didn't feel very surprised by the refusal.

"I'm fine My Lord. As you said, it can't be far, I can rest for a while then."

Judging by the waxy look of his skin, and the trouble he was having keeping his eyes focused, Lancelot needed more than a while. Lank tendrils of hair were drifting into his eyes and he swiped them away. They stuck to his forehead, which was shiny with sweat. Arthur grimaced but turned to carry on and Lancelot resolutely carried on walking behind him, fixing his gaze on Arthur's boots and forcing himself to keep going.

This time when Arthur was brought up short Lancelot stopped in time. Arthur took two careful steps to his right and parted the branches in front of him, Lancelot stepped forward to peer over his shoulder.

"That can't be him."

Arthur didn't snap back at Lancelot's rather obvious comment, at this current moment in time his friend didn't deserve it. Instead Arthur looked at the youth who was sat cross-legged outside the cave, weaving reeds to make a basket. Merlin was concentrating deeply on the task, oblivious to the scrutiny. Arthur looked the boy up and down. His clothes were made of a rough looking material, but they seemed well maintained. His boots were a mish-mash of leather and furs. Arthur watched as Merlin reached for another long strand of reed to carry on weaving, his fingers moving competently. The boy was skinny, but his dark hair shone in the sunlight and his skin had browned over the last few warm weeks giving him a look of health.

"Unless Dragon Lords don't age, no," Arthur said.

"Could we have gone wrong somewhere, maybe this isn't the cave."

"How many people take up residence in caves?" Arthur did eventually snap. "And we followed the directions the inn-keeper gave us. He didn't mention anyone else being here."

"He said that Balinor hated everyone and everything."

They both looked at the youth again, a little unsure how to proceed. The scene became even stranger when the undergrowth behind the boy parted and a sleek dark head popped out and eyed the scene. Arthur's eyes widened as the large wolf eased it's way clear of the bushes and silently padded towards the boy. Merlin remained unaware, his mind fixed on what he was doing. He needed to get the baskets he was making finished before tomorrow.

Arthur blinked in shock as the wolf got nearer, lowered his head and then jumping forward butted Merlin on the shoulder. Merlin gave a yelp and turned. Cyan pushed the top of his head against Merlin's arm, forcing him sideways. Merlin shrugged him off.

"No, I can't play now," he told the wolf sternly.

Cyan didn't seem to want to take no for an answer. He kept pushing his head against Merlin's shoulder and then grabbed his forearm in his jaws. Both Arthur and Lancelot, watching the scene in disbelief, tensed in shock. But Cyan didn't bite down hard enough to hurt and Merlin patiently wriggled his arm free from the wolf's grip.

"No, later," he announced, turning back to his work.

The wolf, however, was not to be deterred, deciding this was a game in itself. He backed up, lowering his shoulders, haunches still raised and his tail wagged, and he panted in excitement. Merlin looked up again, seeing Cyan's intention to pounce.

"No!" Merlin said sternly. Cyan stayed in position but his wagging paused. His head lifted, his body tensed and he turned to look at the trees further down the bank. Arthur gasped, feeling the light breeze on his back and he realised they was upwind of the wolf, which had caught their scent.

Merlin paused again, head jerking up as Cyan lithely rose up and turned all in one sweeping movement. The hackles rose on his neck and his lips curled back, baring his teeth as he growled, smelling the scent of an intruder in the air. Arthur grimaced, there was nothing he could do, the wolf had reacted to their presence. Squaring his shoulders and putting on a friendly smile Arthur stepped forward, pushing the branches aside and trying to make it look as if he hadn't been stood still spying but was just casually walking along the bank. Lancelot shuffled after him, hissing with pain as the branches snapped back at him when Arthur stepped forward. The prince didn't glance back, not daring to while faced with the huge animal snarling and snapping his teeth in warning.

"Greetings!" Arthur hollered in Merlin's direction. Behind him Lancelot gave a heavy sigh, which Arthur ignored. He watched the boy's eyes widen as he saw them, but he frowned in concern when his gaze reached Lancelot.

Cyan gave a series of short yapping barks, a clear warning to the people on his pack's territory, and he ended with a long rumbling growl. Arthur paused, staying a good enough distance away from the beast and he looked at Merlin. The boy was looking them up and down with wary interest, unsure of what to make of their sudden appearance. Arthur guessed he didn't get many visitors.

"We were er… looking for Balinor," Arthur said. Cyan stalked forward, Arthur backed up, right hand automatically going to the hilt of his sword. It was such an instinctive reaction that Arthur hardly realised he was doing it, but faced with such a threat it was all he could do. Merlin saw the gesture and tipping his work to one side scrambled forward to grab the scruff of Cyan's neck in both hands.

"No, Cyan, stay!" Merlin ordered, pulling back on the animal's fur. Arthur stopped, guessing by Merlin's tone that his intention was to protect the wolf by keeping him clear of the threat of weapons. Arthur had pulled his sword a few inches from his belt, but realising what Merlin's intention was, in keeping the animal safe, he carefully pushed his sword back and took his hand off the hilt. He didn't know what Lancelot was doing behind him but he couldn't get past Arthur on the narrow track so it didn't really matter.

"Sorry," Arthur said, raising his hands, once the wolf had quietened down under the boy's calming strokes. "We didn't mean to startle you, but we just need to see Balinor."

"He's not here," Merlin said. Arthur frowned, again judging the phrasing of Merlin's words, which seemed to indicate that the Dragon Lord just wasn't there at the moment.

"I do need to see him, it is urgent, I…" Arthur paused and spun round, sensing the movement behind him, instincts on alert. He caught Lancelot as his knees buckled, wrapping his arms around him, almost brought down himself by the sudden weight he was forced to take. Instead he lowered Lancelot down and turning lay him down. Glancing up he saw Merlin was already moving, clambering over the rocks in the confident, lithe manner of someone who was familiar with doing so. The wolf bounded after him, following at his heels as Merlin ran up the track. Arthur unlaced Lancelot's shirt, pulling it open to look at the bandage around his shoulder. It was red in patches where the wounds had bled.

The boy gave a murmur of concern and hunkered down on Lancelot's other side, carefully peeling back the bandages to see the damage underneath. If Arthur had not been incredibly aware of the huge animal lingering close by, bright blue eyes locked on the scene in front of him, he would have pushed Merlin away, hardly believing that the boy could do anything useful. However, as Merlin assessed the damage and then pressed his hand against Lancelot's cheek, and then down his neck before peeling his eyelid back, the examination done in such a swift, confident fashion that rather reminded Arthur of Gaius, he started to think that Merlin knew exactly what he was looking at.

Once he had concluded the brief examination Merlin straightened up and pointed at the cave.

"Bring him in!" Merlin ordered, something that would have riled Arthur if Merlin hadn't sounded so worried, and Arthur was worried himself, so instead he just carefully lifted Lancelot up and shrugged him onto his shoulder to follow Merlin. The wolf ran ahead, dashing to the cave mouth and pausing there. Merlin hopped across the rocks in an agile fashion. Arthur staggered along behind him, trying to keep Lancelot steady while following where Merlin placed his feet, worried about slipping. The last thing he needed to do was injure himself, or make Lancelot worse. In contrast to Merlin Arthur felt utterly clumsy as he struggled after the youth, sighing with relief as he met level ground just outside the mouth of the cave and he followed Merlin in.

Merlin pointed to his bedroll and Arthur, taking the hint, started to lay Lancelot down, and once he was settled he pulled Lancelot's shirt up over his head and he dragged the limp man's arms from the sleeves. While he did that Merlin went dashing out with a bowl and then came back with it full of clear cool stream water. He put it down and then squatting by Lancelot's side used a knife to cut the blood stained and sweaty bandages from his shoulder. Merlin gave a little murmur as he looked at the wounds marring Lancelot's skin but he shot up and went over to a rickety looking table and gathered some more items, bringing back what looked like a root, a flat stone and a slightly bulkier rounded pebble. Merlin placed the root on the flat stone and started to pound it with the other stone, pulping it up before putting it in the water and stirring the liquid from the root in. Merlin then started to wash the wounds carefully. Arthur just viewed the scene glancing back to look at the wolf, who now lay in the mouth of the cave, so none of them could leave without the wolf knowing. And Arthur blinked in shock as a crow hopped onto the wolf's back, looked at the scene for a moment and then waddled into the cave, jumped up onto the table and settled down to watch, tilting it's head as it stared.

Arthur turned away, rather disturbed by the intense gaze, and wondering what the hell he had really stumbled in on. Then he was distracted, helping Merlin lift Lancelot so he could look at his back and clean the puncture wounds on his shoulder blade. Merlin looked concerned but not overly as he concentrated on what he was doing.

"What is that?" Arthur asked as Merlin gathered some odd looking salve and grinding some herbs mixed them with a small amount of the salve.

"It will make it better, helps healing and stop infection," Merlin assured him. He couldn't honestly tell Arthur what was in it, he just knew what worked. Balinor hadn't told him the names of some of the things he used. Merlin just knew what job they did, he had been the recipient of the care, as had Cyan and Thor. Arthur didn't get to question him further as Cyan rose up and yapped. A moment later a dark shadow filled the entrance of the cave.

Balinor paused at the sight of strangers in the cave. His fury knew no bounds. Arthur gazed up at him, meeting Balinor's blazing eyes.

"Who are you? And what are you doing here?"

The aggression in his voice unnerved even Merlin, who never got shouted at. But he had let them come into the cave. He pointed at Lancelot's prone form.

"He's hurt, they came to see you."

Balinor looked less than impressed and stepping forward he frowned as he looked at Lancelot's wounds. There was no doubt in Arthur's mind that Balinor knew what had caused it. However, he also assessed the pale, unconscious man now lying on his son's bed. Merlin wouldn't think twice about helping him, an injured person. Everything he had encountered injured had been brought back and healed. People as well, since they had helped Gwaine. Merlin looked up apprehensively.

"Merlin, fetch some rosemary sprigs as well. Fresh ones from outside," Balinor ordered. Merlin scurried up to obey the command and Balinor took Merlin's place by Lancelot's side, checking his sons work, sniffing at the herbs that had been put in the salve. Merlin had got it right.

"Will he be all right?" Arthur asked. Balinor looked at him steadily and then away as Merlin came running in, holding a cluster of stems in his hand. Balinor took them and glanced down at Lancelot again, putting his hand against his forehead.

"Get some cold water from the stream, and a cloth, Merlin, we need to bathe him to try and bring the fever down."

Merlin ran across to swipe a bowl from the stack and he went running out again.

"How did you find me?" Balinor snarled.

"The innkeeper in the village gave us directions," Arthur said, hardly comprehending why this man, after so short a time, intimidated him so much. Arthur had dealt with kings, and nobles and arrogant and angry men before. However, he couldn't really judge Balinor as arrogant. There just seemed to be a sweeping confidence to his demeanour that the man didn't even seem to be aware of.

But Arthur watched as Balinor's gaze moved, when Merlin came scurrying back in. The anger in Balinor's eyes vanished as he looked at the youth. Arthur found himself gently elbowed out of the way as Merlin crouched by Lancelot's head and started to bath his forehead and face before moving down across his neck and shoulders. Lancelot's brow creased into a frown and he stirred.

"Lancelot?" Arthur asked, holding back the temptation to shake him.

"I'll think he'll be unconscious for a while longer," Balinor said. "But the wounds are not too deep, and he's young and strong. He'll be fine."

Arthur looked up. The words were reassuring, spoken in the same way but Balinor's eyes locked on Arthur's and they were far less friendly. Arthur realised the Dragon Lord knew what the wounds were, how they had been caused, and had made very correct assumptions as to who he was, and why he had come.

Arthur got the feeling this was not going to be easy.


	7. Chapter 7

Arthur had stayed by Lancelot's side. Balinor had disappeared from the cave saying he needed more herbs, and to catch something more for dinner. Merlin hurried about doing things that involved cooking, tidying and checking on Arthur and Lancelot on a regular basis. He was quite solicitous in giving water and had brought a bowl of apples and berries for Arthur to eat.

He had managed to accept it graciously but he felt a little fractious. Merlin seemed to understand that Arthur's concern was Lancelot, for the time being. And in the end Merlin had retreated, so had the animals. Arthur hadn't dared move until the wolf had gone from the cave entrance. When he did venture out while Lancelot was sleeping deeply there was only Balinor sat outside, watching as the sun set down over the trees. Arthur almost went to him but Merlin wandered into the scene and squatted down, resting his elbows on his knees and folding his forearms together.

"Are you angry with me?" he asked Balinor.

"No, of course not, child. Why would you think that?" the Dragon Lord asked. He reached out an arm to wrap it around Merlin's waist and the boy swivelled on his heels to drop on his rump next to his father.

"You're angry."

"Not at you son," Balinor said gently, his arm taking anchorage against Merlin's back and Merlin shuffled closer. "They shouldn't have come."

"Lancelot was hurt. You made him better."

"I know but, oh Merlin, I'm so sorry," Balinor said, turning to kiss Merlin on the forehead. "It's more than that."

"But you're not angry?" Merlin asked.

"No, I'm not angry," Balinor said gently. Merlin snuggled against him, tucking his head down on his father's shoulder.

"Good, I don't want you to be angry with me," Merlin said.

Balinor chuckled and rubbed Merlin's far shoulder. Merlin snuggled tighter to him.

"I don't think that will ever happen, Merlin."

Merlin huffed happily. "I love you, father."

"I love you too. Come on, we need to feed our guests."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Arthur got his chance after he had eaten a well cooked, if rather thin, stew. Lancelot had roused long enough to have a few mouthfuls, which Merlin had helped him with. Arthur had eyed Balinor carefully, and the man was just as wary as he looked back. Merlin trotted off to wash the bowls and tidy up, Cyan following him while Thor pecked at his food and hopped about the cave. Balinor was watching Merlin as he worked outside, Cyan trying to get him to play again when Balinor sensed Arthur moving to stand next to him.

"How did you end up with a wolf, and a crow?" Arthur asked.

"Merlin found them, and wanted to keep them."

"Your son?" Arthur asked, looking at the youth in question. Balinor felt his heart tense. The last thing he wanted to do was deny Merlin's parentage, but Balinor had to consider the idea of Arthur knowing about a potential dragon lord, and one who could be very easily manipulated. Plus with Merlin's other talents, he did not need a Pendragon taking too much interest in his mentally underdeveloped son. So he lied.

"No, not in blood. Merlin never knew his father, and his mother died when the raiders kidnapped him from his village when he was a child. He spent years being abused by them, until he suddenly decided to run away, and I found him. He doesn't seem to see anything usual with taking damaged strays in. I think he just likes the idea of having someone. It seems to make him feel better."

Arthur looked appalled at the story, turning to look at Merlin with genuine sympathy. Balinor watched the expressions moving over Arthur's face as he considered what Merlin had been through. It was not a pleasant story.

"That rather contradicts what the innkeeper said about you."

"Oh?" Balinor asked, looking at Arthur with his steady gaze. Balinor noted it made Arthur look uncomfortable.

"He said you hated everyone and everything."

Perhaps he had, when he had first gone into hiding, it was a true fact. But time had moved on from then, and brought him Merlin. Even if he hadn't been his true son, Balinor doubted that he would have rejected Merlin. He hadn't known at the beginning what had stumbled into his cave, and had caused the odd tightness in his mind and body, pulling Merlin to him.

"Nobody in the village knows Merlin is here. The raiders and slavers are still moving in the area, picking up men. I have the feeling that if they realise he's here, they'll come looking for him. I don't think he deserves to suffer that any more."

Arthur looked at Balinor carefully, picking up the underlying threat in the words. He didn't want anyone knowing Merlin was here. Gwaine was the only other person who had encountered Merlin here, and Balinor had trusted him to never reveal it to anyone but Gaius. Looking at Arthur he wondered if Gwaine had made it to Camelot to tell him. There was no way he could ever really know. However, he didn't think that Gwaine would let him down. It was an odd thing to think since he had only known Gwaine a couple of days.

"No," Arthur said.

"So why has the Prince of Camelot turned up on my door?"

"You know what caused Lancelot's wound," Arthur challenged.

"A dragon's claw. He was brave getting close to it."

"He had no choice, the thing's loose and destroying Camelot."

Arthur stepped back a little as Balinor turned. There was something so dark in his eyes, like storm clouds brewing deep inside his soul.

"How did such a thing occur?"

The prince shook his head. "Someone unleashed it, somehow; and now it's destroying the town, and the citadel. Innocent people are dying."

"That happens when tyrants have their way," Balinor said. "I do not understand what you expect me to do."

"You're a Dragon Lord. You're the only Dragon Lord. Only you can stop him, we can't fight him. We've spent two nights trying!"

"He's the only dragon, I'm the only Dragon Lord," Balinor said calmly. "You know the reason for that."

"But you seriously can't let this happen. He's destroying everything that Camelot is."

"Yes, if you understand what Camelot represents to him, then I imagine he is."

"He will destroy the kingdom."

"They rise and fall, Kilgharrah has lived to see that many a time."

"Kil… what?" Arthur asked, suddenly baffled. Balinor looked at him almost pityingly.

"Kilgharrah, it is the great dragon's name, you do not even know that simple fact."

"It's just a beast."

"If that is how you see him, and how you have treated him for the last two decades, then no wonder he is behaving as he is. He is acting the way Camelot has made him."

"What does that mean?" Arthur demanded.

"He is the last dragon, the great dragon. You see him as nothing more than a mindless creature. He had seen the whole of known history pass; your lifetime is nothing more than a blink of an eye to him. The Dragon Lords were given their titles not because they were from noble families but because of their association with the dragons, a race considered noble."

Arthur blinked. "He is nothing more than a mindless killer."

"I very much doubt he is mindless, if he wishes to pay back the betrayal that ensnared him then so be it."

"Betrayal? What betrayal?"

"I suppose that is a story Uther does not wish to tell, like so many others," Balinor said, smiling without humour. The comment made Arthur frown, his eyes darkening with anger. Balinor had no time for what the young prince did or didn't know, but he knew his own part in the tale.

"Uther came to me, saying he wanted to make peace with the dragon, that he was wrong to have hunted them. Twenty years ago I was willing to trust him, believing him in what he said. He asked me to call the dragon to the cavern, where he could talk to it.

"Little did I know, it was nothing more than a trap. He imprisoned the dragon, using a chain forged with magic," Balinor spat that little fact out. Arthur blinked in surprise. "I was taken prisoner, to be executed for the use of magic. I was the last Dragon Lord, he had slaughtered the others, not for what we chose to do, but for our simple birthright, a gift passed down from father to son."

A gift which would pass to Merlin, eventually, Balinor didn't doubt that. His son was so powerful, but innocent and trusting at the same time. There was no doubt in Balinor's mind that Merlin carried the gift of the Dragon Lords within him. Not that Balinor would ever let anyone know that.

"You escaped," Arthur said.

"I was rescued, of a fashion, and I took refuge in this kingdom, Cenred's kingdom, although his father ruled then. I thought I was safe, until Uther learned of my location, and sent the knights of Camelot to hunt me down."

"But you were not within Camelot's boarders?" Arthur asked.

"Your father does not concern himself with things like that, just getting his own way. I left the village, rather than see them persecuted. I couldn't risk anyone else. Uther drove me to solitude. He thinks magic is evil, a corruptive force, but it is no more evil than your sword," Balinor announced. "It is, like all power, controlled by it's user. If you want to see the evil influence of power, then look to your father. It will do no harm for his reign to end."

Arthur gaped. "Innocent people are dying."

Balinor blinked. The boy was frighteningly idealistic, and clearly had no comprehension of his father's actions. He was, in his own way, almost as dangerously innocent as Merlin was.

"Around Uther innocent people always die."

Balinor watched Arthur wince. The boy somehow knew the truth of that fact. He was old enough now; he could form his own opinion. Balinor's had been formed long ago.

"I swore I would never return to Camelot, and I would never face the dragon again. I betrayed him as much as Uther betrayed us both. Even when I did as Uther asked, I somehow didn't believe him. I shouldn't have trusted him then, I will not trust you now."

Arthur's face fell, but anger was brewing in his eyes. "How can you do that? I promise you, you can leave Camelot safely, once the dragon is recaptured."

The instant he spoke Arthur knew he had said the wrong thing. Balinor glowered at him darkly.

"You haven't heard a word I have said," Balinor reprimanded him, in an oddly gentle tone. "You may stay until your friend is well enough to travel."

That was Balinor's last word on the matter, Arthur presumed, as he walked away, calling to Merlin who ran after him, picking up a collecting basket and heading off into the forest. Arthur gritted his teeth, holding back the urge to threaten the man, telling him he would come back with a contingent of Camelot's soldiers. But it would do no good, they would never get through Cenred's territory. Even if they did, Balinor could be gone. Arthur guessed it was likely he would now leave, not wanting to risk Uther knowing where he was, especially with his vulnerable charge to consider.

Arthur let them go, Merlin turning to look back at him in concern, while Cyan danced around him, trying to get his attention. Eventually another call from Balinor sent Merlin on his way, and Arthur turned as there was shuffling behind him. Lancelot stepped out into the light, looking pale but far better than he had yesterday.

"How are you feeling?"

"Very well Sire," Lancelot said, sounding surprised by the fact. He reached up to press the bandage that now covered his shoulder.

"Are you fit to travel?" Arthur asked. Lancelot's face brightened.

"He's going to come with us?"

"No, we're returning alone," Arthur said. Lancelot looked stunned.

"But didn't you tell him."

"Of course I did, Lancelot!" Arthur snapped. "I tried but…"

Lancelot frowned as Arthur paused, realising something had passed between the two men, something deeper than the simple request they had come with. Lancelot had also learnt some information from Gaius, and had a suspicion of what that might be. Lancelot knew when to leave the issue alone.

"I'm fit to travel, My Lord," he said instead.

"We'll pack up now," Arthur said. "And wait for them to return before we leave. Maybe we can try again."

"Perhaps we could stay longer; maybe Merlin could help change his mind."

Arthur had the same thought, so Balinor probably had as well. They would be another night away from Camelot even if they started travelling now, any further delay seemed like a waste of time to Arthur. The prince shook his head.

"It's not a risk we can take, we'll have to just fight the beast ourselves."

"The least he can do is tell us the most effective way to kill it," Lancelot murmured before he turned and went to pack their belongings.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Balinor had, but it hadn't shocked him into coming with them, as Arthur hoped it might. As they trudged off down the path Arthur thought that Balinor didn't believe that they could get close enough to strike a killing blow.

"What are you doing?" he snapped as Lancelot turned to wave.

"Waving at Merlin." He followed Arthur as the prince stormed off. "It's not his fault, he doesn't understand what's going on."

Arthur frowned as he carried on through the forest.

"Neither do I," he murmured.


	8. Chapter 8

They found a sheltered place to camp, it was still light but the safety of their location was important, while they lingered in enemy territory. Arthur knew it was a risk being in Cenred's kingdom, but he had such high hopes for finding the Dragon Lord. He just hadn't taken into account so much history.

He watched glumly as their food cooked over the small fire and Lancelot drew on the floor with a stick. His servant's actions were irritating him, but he stayed quiet and stared into the flames until Lancelot said.

"We'll need open ground. There is that clearing just beyond the castle, there will be room for a battalion of knights on horseback to manoeuvre, and we'll need the best lancers."

"One of them will have to be you then," Arthur said, realising what Lancelot was doing, and the irritation tightening inside him uncoiled. Lancelot looked up with an embarrassed smile. He was the only person to have ever unseated Arthur in a joust. Even if it was only in practice it had impressed most people, especially Arthur.

"I don't think that will be approved of."

"I don't care," Arthur stated. "If we are going into this fight, I will take all the help I can get."

"Thank you, Sire," Lancelot said.

"You know what I mean," Arthur announced. "Although I think I can only ask for volunteers for such a mission."

Lancelot looked at Arthur steadily. "I think you'll get them."

"Your faith is touching," Arthur drawled.

Before Lancelot could answer Arthur's head jerked up and he raised his hand to warn Lancelot to keep silent. In response, Lancelot rolled his eyes a little, and listened carefully to the sounds in the forest. Something was moving around them, there was the rustling of leaves and a twig snapped.

Arthur gave a nod and Lancelot reached for his sword, lying on the ground near him, as Arthur pulled his from his belt. Both of them rose slowly and Arthur waved his hand in a series of gestures. Lancelot followed them carefully as Arthur moved up the slope behind them as quietly as possible. Lancelot flanked to the left, moving into the cover of the nearby bushes, keeping slightly behind Arthur, but as close as possible. Arthur held his sword two handed, moving carefully, his shoulders tense. Then he jumped and paused as a figure moved around the tall bushes they had been using for shelter thickening around a large tree at the top of the incline.

"Oh," Arthur said, lowering his sword as he looked at Balinor. Balinor smiled at him, looking a little resigned as he stared at Arthur. All Arthur could comprehend was the fact the Dragon Lord had followed him. That could only mean one thing, Balinor had changed his mind. Arthur gave him a tentative smile. Before either of them could say anything the moment was interrupted by someone else crashing onto the scene.

"Hello!" Merlin said brightly. Arthur smiled.

"Hello Merlin," Arthur said. Lancelot extracted himself from the bushes as he was herded out by Cyan, who pranced around the four people, ending with Merlin, grabbing his wrist and holding onto him as he huffed and growled.

"We brought dinner," Merlin announced, holding up the two birds that they had caught. Lancelot and Arthur stared at them hungrily. They were just using their meagre supplies, not wanting to risk any type of hunting in unfamiliar territory.

"Come on, Merlin, we'd better pluck them," Lancelot said, sensing that Balinor and Arthur probably wanted to talk for a moment. Merlin looked at them and Balinor gave a little nod, so Merlin trotted off after Lancelot with Cyan in tow. Arthur jumped as Thor cawed in the branches above them before taking flight and swooping low over the small camp site. Arthur then realised he still had his sword in his hands, ready to use. He put it away before looking at Balinor.

"Thank you."

Balinor gave him a hard stare. "I will not enter the city, nor will I allow the dragon to be recaptured. When he attacks, I will call him away and guarantee that he will never attack again."

Arthur felt shocked at the terms, but guessed that was the best he was going to get. It was something Balinor wouldn't budge on, if the look in his eyes was anything to go by, and he would simply turn back if Arthur argued with him. However, if it meant that his kingdom was safe from the dragon then Arthur would take it. It was all he had, the destruction over a few nights had been horrific, and he couldn't let the attacks continue. His instinct told him to find a way to kill the dragon, so it couldn't hurt anyone again, but he was not going to get that, and having the Dragon Lord call it away would save lives.

"Will he obey you?"

"When the Dragon Lord commands the dragon has no choice, he will not attack again, I assure you of that, but I will not allow any wrong to continue to be committed against Kilgharrah."

"What wrong?" Arthur asked. Balinor gave him that long, steady, moderately intimidating look. Arthur knew it was one of those things that if he couldn't understand it, or learn it, then he was never going to comprehend. Arthur vaguely wondered how he would feel if he had been locked up for so long.

"I'm glad you came," Arthur said. Balinor looked at him, and then glanced at Merlin, who was happily chatting to Lancelot, who listened indulgently.

"We'll see what happens."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"What's Camelot like?" Merlin asked, with wide eyes as they sat around the low fire. He was snuggled up on the floor leaning against Balinor's leg, a blanket wrapped around him, listening avidly to the conversation.

"Big," Lancelot said. "With lots of people, and nice, the castle is big, you'd like it."

"Will we get to see it?" Merlin asked Balinor. Balinor shook his head.

"No, we won't, we're not going to the castle."

Merlin gave a mewl of disappointment. "I want to see it."

"You can't Merlin, it's full of people and it will be busy, we won't have time."

"Are there bad people?" Merlin whispered at his father, looking up at him with wide, now frightened eyes.

"No," Balinor said. His eyes lifted to look at Arthur. "Not all of them anyway."

Arthur shuffled uncomfortably, getting the hint. Balinor was no fan of Uther's, and hardly surprising. No wonder he wouldn't enter the city, Arthur thought. It wasn't quite as simple as that, Balinor did not want Merlin anywhere near Camelot, but it was Merlin who had eventually persuaded him to make the trip. He had overheard quite a bit of the conversations that had passed around the three people, and his questions had pushed on Balinor's conscience. Kilgharrah needed saving just as much as Camelot did, Balinor thought. But Merlin couldn't be risked in Camelot, and nor could Balinor leave him alone. Merlin probably could have managed in the cave, but Balinor didn't want to leave him. Again he was feeling that tightening inside him, the drawing of something significant. When he looked at Arthur he felt it, and as much as it worried him, Balinor felt unable to resist it.

Merlin murmured, thinking on that, and then he looked up again.

"Will we see the dragon?"

"Yes, Merlin, we will."

"Is he big?" Merlin asked Balinor.

"Yes," Balinor said. "Very big."

Merlin looked awed. "Does it breathe fire?"

"Yes, he does Merlin," Balinor answered patiently. "All the dragons did."

"He also kills as well," Arthur snapped. Merlin turned to stare at him for a moment, before biting his lip and looked down, huddling into himself a little. It didn't need Balinor's disapproving stare for Arthur to feel sorry for what he had just done. Merlin didn't understand. How could he really? Arthur reached over and took Merlin's wrist, through the blanket he was wrapped up in.

"Sorry, Merlin, I didn't mean to snap. I'm just worried."

Merlin looked up and nodded, still gnawing on his lower lip. Arthur gave his wrist an affectionate squeeze and wondered how to change the conversation. Then Merlin suddenly looked up at Balinor and asked.

"Is the dragon bad?"

"Not really Merlin, he's just angry," Balinor said, wondering how to phrase it. As far as he could see, the dragon's actions were justified, but it was damaging innocent lives, so in a way they were also wrong. Merlin nodded at that, and said, very sagely.

"Sometimes that means you do bad things, even if you don't mean to."

Merlin seemed quite confident of that thought. Balinor frowned at him.

"I suppose so."

"Gwaine said so," Merlin told him.

"Gwaine?" Lancelot said, remembering him all too well. "You know Gwaine, about my height, dark hair…"

"Yes, he was injured in a fight, Merlin found him in the forest."

"He had an injury when we met him in the tavern," Lancelot said to Arthur. "He never really told us how he got it though."

"He made the men angry," Merlin said, remembering the conversation. "But that didn't make them bad. Can you be angry and bad?" Merlin asked, looking at Balinor.

"Yes, you can, Merlin."

"Some people like being angry, and that makes them bad," Lancelot said. "Some people are just bad."

"Yes," Merlin agreed enthusiastically. "I don't want to be bad."

"You're not," Balinor said ruffling his hair. Merlin smiled happily and leant against Balinor, giving a yawn. "But I think you need to go to sleep."

"No, I want to stay up," Merlin whined childishly.

"You are tired, and you'll have almost all day tomorrow to babble to Arthur and Lancelot. Now you need to sleep," Balinor said.

Arthur shifted from his position and backed Balinor up. "Well, I want to get back as soon as possible. The dragon is only attacking at night. I've been away for two nights now. I need to get back. I think we should all get some rest, we still have to pass over the boarder, and it's well patrolled. We need to get up at dawn."

Lancelot nodded, so did Balinor and he concentrated on settling Merlin close to the dying fire and making sure their bedrolls lay together. Arthur watched, looking around the darkened forest carefully, as Balinor lay down next to Merlin, who huddled against him. Cyan, who had lain by Merlin for most of the night, snuggled up on Merlin's other side and on the branch above them Thor had roosted. The bird was still not sleeping, the movement of the bird's head was still visible in the firelight, but the creature seemed to settle as the group below him did so.

Even as Arthur lay down he watched them. He couldn't work it out. Balinor had changed his mind because of Merlin. But Merlin would have acquiesced to whatever Balinor chose to do. Even with Merlin's innocent but probing questions it would not be enough to shift the resolute personality of the Dragon Lord.

Neither of them had spoken about it during that brief consultation where Balinor had stated his terms, but it seemed like they both knew. They were nothing but players in a game that had yet to be decided. Arthur settled down, and tried to stop thinking about it. His first and foremost goal was to save Camelot. But he couldn't, only Balinor could do that.

And Arthur trusted him. It was what the Dragon Lord would do.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Balinor jerked awake but the tension of the hand on his shoulder kept him silent. He looked up at Arthur.

"Cenred's men," Arthur said.

The Dragon Lord was up in a flash, dragging a grizzling Merlin with him. But naturally Merlin was always quiet when he woke, even if he was complaining about it. Balinor pulled him to the nearby undergrowth and shoved him into it.

"Stay there!" Balinor ordered Merlin, and then he turned to hiss at the lingering wolf. "Cyan, stay!"

Cyan obeyed, pushing into the undergrowth to press against Merlin. Cyan rumbled deep in his chest but as Merlin clung on he stayed where he was, hackles raised and body tense.

"Maybe you should hide too," Arthur advised Balinor.

"Don't worry about me lad, I can look after myself," Balinor said.

"You're also too valuable to lose," Arthur said. As he spoke he was referring to the control of the great dragon but both of them jerked as a shiver of something moved and they stared at each other. Then there was no time to question it as a patrol of four men dressed in Cenred's colours came at them. Arthur killed one and kicked the sword in Balinor's direction. He swiped it up and met another man. Lancelot took another and Arthur the remaining.

Both sides were fighting hard, and Arthur managed a hard blow to the man's hip but then two more soldiers came into view.

"Balinor!" Arthur yelled in warning. The man couldn't turn to the man trying for his back because the of the one at his front. Arthur couldn't help him, neither could Lancelot. But then a dark blur surged forward.

Cyan slammed himself against the soldier trying to attack Balinor from behind. He leapt up so his paws hit the soldier's torso and his muzzle went straight for the man's neck. The last man coming in screamed in shock as a bird swooped down lashing at him before flying off. There was another scream as Cyan's teeth dug into the man's throat and he slammed to the floor, dead in a second as his throat was ripped out.

Quite naturally that unnerved the other men and Thor swooped about, cawing loudly. Cyan let his prize go and turned, snarling with a blood coated muzzle. It was enough. Within moments all of Cenred's men were dead. The battle had been short, and bloody, and the silence that followed seemed deafening. Even Thor's voice didn't fill it. Instead the crow flew down and hopped from body to body, pecking where he could, and gently batted off when he was within range of a sword. Balinor swatted him again, and Thor waddled away. Cyan paced around him, going towards the bushes, and he dropped into a laying position as Merlin ran out of the bush, running to Balinor and flinging himself on his father, clinging to him as he started to sob on Balinor's shoulder.

Balinor discarded the sword before Merlin slammed against him. His son was distressed and frightened, and the Dragon Lord suddenly debated the wisdom of bringing his innocent son into this.

"They were bad men!" Merlin announced, holding Balinor tightly. Balinor hugged him back.

"It's all right Merlin, it's all right."

He glanced at Arthur and Lancelot, and both of them seemed to share the same thought. It was not so simple. The soldiers just did their job, they were paid to fight, and paid to die. Anyone who entered that life knew the risk, sometimes it was the only option they had. Cenred's men had taken a chance and died for it. Arthur knew he could just as easily do the same. He could have died, Balinor could have died. He would have, if it had not been for Cyan breaking cover to protect him, and Thor distracting the others.

Arthur felt a shiver down his spine and he shook his head.

"We need to get moving and get over the boarder as soon as we can."


	9. Chapter 9

Gaius stumbled through the forest, in the encroaching dark, with the last red rays of the sun lighting his way. He wasn't quite sure where he was going, Lancelot had been sketchy on the location, and unsure that Balinor would remain where he had said he would be. He didn't really trust them, the people in Camelot, even if he was willing to help them. Lancelot had looked confused when Gaius had asked to know where Balinor was. However, Lancelot knew that Gaius had been the one to help Balinor flee Camelot, so they had to be connected somehow. And there was too much to do for Lancelot to think about it beyond that minor thought. He kept it to himself, not even mentioning it to Arthur.

Gaius gasped as he felt a hand grab his collar, yanking him to a halt.

"What are you doing out here old man?"

"I came alone, no one knows I'm here."

"You're still with Uther."

"I came to see Merlin, Uther doesn't know."

"I heard that Gwaine got to you."

"Yes, he did, he told me. How did it happen?"

Gaius exhaled heavily as Balinor let him go and moved to stand in front of him. They regarded each other carefully, more in shadow than light now, as the sun dipped lower. Balinor didn't look all that different, his face was older but he looked much the same Gaius thought. Balinor thought that Gaius had suddenly become very old, but then again, he had not seen him for nearly twenty years.

"By accident, at least it could be seen that way but I am becoming less inclined to believe that. How are you Gaius?" Balinor asked, unable to help a smile.

"Better for seeing you," Gaius said shuffling forward to hug Balinor. The Dragon Lord responded.

"How have you been?" Balinor asked.

"Getting old, I can't seem to stop it," Gaius said.

"It's been a long time," Balinor agreed.

"You don't seem to have changed much," Gaius noted, making Balinor smile.

"Things have changed a good deal," Balinor said.

Gaius's response was cut off as there was a rustle from the undergrowth and Merlin popped his head out from his hiding place, where Balinor had hidden him on hearing the sound of someone approaching. Since there had been talking, and hugging, Merlin was starting to think that it was safe. Which didn't make much sense to him since his father was so wary of the people in the big place. Merlin had looked at it from the forest, still so far away but he could see all the turrets and battlements. He hadn't been too shocked by the size, since the slavers lived in an old castle that was big, and unfriendly. Merlin understood why Balinor hadn't wanted to go. Camelot looked tidier and brighter, even from a distance, but there would be bad people, Merlin told himself.

But the old man who had come to see Balinor couldn't be bad, since Balinor was being nice to him, and talking.

"Merlin, it's all right, come here," Balinor said. Merlin wriggled free of his hiding place, Cyan on his heels. Thor was somewhere in the trees above them, but he was silent for the moment. Merlin wandered over to Balinor looking at Gaius warily, wondering who he was. Merlin smiled, the man must be nice, otherwise Balinor wouldn't be so welcoming.

"Hello," Merlin said tentatively, as he regarded Gaius carefully.

"Hello, Merlin," Gaius gasped.

The man sounded amazed and Merlin pouted in mild confusion, his eyes widening as Gaius reached up to stroke his cheek, almost as if he was checking Merlin was really there. Then Merlin made a startled sound as Gaius suddenly reached forward and grabbed hold of him, hugging Merlin hard. Merlin didn't resist, Balinor was next to him, so Merlin felt perfectly safe.

"Oh, my boy," Gaius said in a choked voice.

Merlin murmured in confusion, a mild ripple of tension running through him and Balinor, on seeing it, gently broke them apart. Gaius' eyes looked glassy with unshed tears. Merlin looked even more confused and he turned to Balinor for help, failing to understand what was going on. Balinor pulled Merlin closer to him, and Merlin happily snuggled against his father.

"You don't remember Gaius, do you?"

Merlin regarded the old man carefully and slowly shook his head. "No, should I?"

"You were only just turning four when I last saw you," Gaius said in a shaky voice, hardly daring to believe it was Merlin, but Gaius didn't doubt that it was, even after so many years.

"I don't remember," Merlin said.

"You were only very small Merlin, you might not have. Gaius is a friend of your mother's."

"Oh," Merlin said, looking a little sad, as he often did at any mention of Hunith.

"I came to help her when she gave birth to you," Gaius said, reaching out to take Merlin's hand. Merlin looked less disturbed at that and he smiled, glancing at Balinor.

"I'm glad she had someone with her," Balinor said.

"It wasn't easy for her, since you weren't married, and you had left her."

"I had no choice in that. The villagers did at least protect her from Uther."

"Yes," Gaius agreed, jumping a little as Cyan sniffed him curiously.

"Cyan," Balinor gestured the wolf to heel. The animal slowly backed up, still regarding Gaius with interest, and then he pressed himself against Merlin's side, huffing happily.

"Don't mind Cyan, he's Merlin's."

"Lancelot did mention him."

"You told him you were coming here."

"He's trustworthy, he won't say anything, not even to Arthur."

"Unfortunately I don't feel inclined to be that trusting," Balinor said, considering the idea of moving location. He did not want to be found by anyone else.

"Did Merlin? Has… he?" Gaius paused and stopped, looking from the Dragon Lord to Merlin, eyes flicking from one to the other. Balinor raised his eyebrows and waited, having a very good idea where this next part of the conversation would go.

"Hunith asked me to come to Ealdor when Merlin was young, he was showing evidence of a few talents."

"Magic," Balinor said. "Yes, it's still there. Although it was dormant for a while, he does appear to be beyond any talent I know."

"I think so," Gaius said. "I tried to find him. After there were rumours of slavers working the outlying areas of Cenred's land, and some incursions into Camelot. I went to Ealdor but I was too late, there was nothing left."

Gaius' face clenched with pain. Nothing was a mildly sweeping statement, charred skeletons of what used to be homes remained, and some of the dead remained unburied, victims of carrion creatures. Crows flew across the area, feasting on the dead, cawing loudly as they took to the air. Gaius had stared at the destruction mindlessly, knowing that no one was living there, and he couldn't truly identify any of them. He didn't know if Hunith and Merlin were among them.

"I tried in the other villages, to see if there was any trace of them, but nothing. Uther wouldn't send any troops over the boarder."

Balinor snorted, unimpressed by that. "He only does what is convenient for him."

"He has brought peace to Camelot."

"At what price."

"He paid his own," Gaius said. "You've come to help him."

"Not him," Balinor said. "It is not the Pendragons I wish to help. I will not allow them to imprison Kilgharrah any longer."

"Is that your only reason?" Gaius asked, looking at Merlin. Merlin looked at Balinor.

"He will be the next Dragon Lord, when I am gone."

Merlin frowned, reaching to cling onto Balinor. "Where are you going?"

"Nowhere, son, I'm not going anywhere. Don't you worry."

"Good, I don't want you to go."

Gaius watched them together. Cyan pushed his head against Merlin's leg. Balinor looked at Gaius.

"The dragon will be attacking soon."

"I should get back, there have been many casualties, I can't be gone for long."

"It was good to see you," Balinor said his voice genuine. Gaius smiled, glancing at Merlin again. It wasn't Balinor he had come to see. Not really. Again the Dragon Lord felt something, that tightening feeling deep in his gut occurred again, threads of things he didn't understand pulled at him.

"You too," Gaius said. "Both of you."

They both watched as Gaius disappeared off into the forest, hurrying to try and get back before full dark swept the forest. Merlin tugged on Balinor's clothing.

"He wasn't a bad man," Merlin said.

"No, son, Gaius is not a bad man," Balinor said. "Now, we had better light a fire, it won't be long before the dragon comes."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

It wasn't long at all. Darkness hit Camelot. The two figures in the forest watched the lights glowing in the castle, their own fire low as they waited. The clearing was a short distance away, Balinor wanted to talk to Kilgharrah. If anyone, or anything, could give him answers, the Great Dragon could do so.

Arthur waited on the battlements, his men armed and ready. He didn't know what Balinor would do. Arthur didn't doubt the man would come through. If he wanted to destroy Camelot he had no need to come. The Dragon was relentless, he would return night after night, taking a little bit each time. Many people from the lower town had left for the outlying villages. Those who hadn't left had come into the safety of the castle. So many had seen their homes destroyed, innocent people killed as the creature attacked.

Yet, it pulled on Arthur, Balinor's argument as to why the creature was attacking. Arthur had never really thought about it, the creature that dwelt in the caverns under the castle. He had been captured as an example, and forgotten. Arthur wondered how many people in Camelot had given the creature a second thought, as he languished in his prison. If a wrong had been done to Arthur himself, to Camelot, to his kingdom, Arthur himself knew he would act to avenge it. It was why he was on the battlements now, waiting to fight.

Why would the dragon act differently? Arthur's conscience asked him.

"My Lord!" Leon yelled, pointing out into the dark sky.

The soldiers on the battlements tensed, seeing the shadow move. The moon was waning, but full enough. Arthur swallowed dryly as the silhouette crossed over the silvery sliver in the sky, flying towards them, neck stretched out, and eyes glittering with intent. Arthur felt the thud of his blood pounding through him, his heart crashing in his chest. He tried to ignore his clammy hands and gasping breath as the creature flew towards them.

"Hold," he ordered the men steadily. Lancelot hovered next to him, armoured up like the rest of the soldiers, unwilling to leave Arthur's side, even though his shoulder was still sore. The rest of the men gasped and shuffled their feet. Arthur had brought news of the Dragon Lord's presence, but he appeared to be doing nothing.

"Hold!" Arthur ordered in a firmer tone as he heard the click of crossbows as they were loaded. The atmosphere rippled with tension, and then some of the men gasped. Arthur felt his breath stop.

The dragon ceased in flight, Arthur didn't know how. He paused in the air, jerking up, wings still beating, but it was like he was pulled on the end of a string. The dragon's head rose and he roared into the air, sending fire into the night sky. The Great Dragon twisted, as if he was fighting something, and nobody could see what it was.

"What's happening?" one of the soldiers asked. The dragon spun in the air, almost as if he was going to continue his flight towards Camelot. But then, again, he turned, caught by whatever it was.

"The Dragon Lord," Lancelot whispered, to keep the confused and tense men quiet. "Balinor's called him."

"How?" Leon asked. Lancelot shrugged.

"He's a Dragon Lord, once they call the dragons cannot ignore them."

"But…"

"Shush!" Arthur hissed, stilling the group around them. The dragon spun again, head and tail thrashing in the air as he clearly struggled against the compulsion that Balinor was using on him. The dragon rose up in the air stretching his neck out, eyes fixed on the battlements. The gaze was so fierce that Arthur almost took a step back. It was only Lancelot's close proximity that kept him steady, his servant's hand reassuringly touching his arm settled him.

Arthur wasn't imagining it. The dragon locked eyes with him. Arthur felt his chest tighten. Not through fear, he had faced the dragon when he had attacked on previous nights, but something else pulled on him, wrenching something up from deep within his soul. He blinked in surprise as the dragon turned again, seeming to smile at him.

"Very clever, my young prince," the dragon said, making more than one person on the battlements gasp and step back. Then the tug seemed to happen to the dragon again, he turned in the air and flew away, gliding towards the forest and the clearing that lay beyond.

"Did that dragon just talk," one of the soldiers gasped. No one answered him, and Arthur stepped forward as he heard the sound of hooves on the bridge below. He leant over, and scowled as he stared at the column of knights and soldiers that were heading out of the castle.

"I didn't order anyone out!" Arthur snapped.

"I'm sorry, Sire," Leon said in a low tone. Arthur's stomach clenched. "They're riding out on the orders of your father. You were not to be told."

Arthur glanced down again, eyes fixing on one of the people at the head of the column. Then he looked back up into the forest, where the dragon was carefully landing. Swearing loudly Arthur spun away from the battlements and ran for the stairs, Lancelot and Leon hot on his heels.


	10. Chapter 10

Balinor had felt the power rising through him as he unleashed the call. He could sense Kilgharrah's struggle, a determination to defy him, but in the end the dragon could not. Balinor sensed him before he saw him. As the dragon circled above them, Merlin gave a little yelp, hiding behind Balinor and clinging onto the back of Balinor's clothes. Cyan gave a low growl.

"It's all right, Merlin."

"He's big," Merlin whispered, his grip tightening.

"That he is," Balinor commented as the Great Dragon landed in the clearing. The dragon lowered onto his haunches, curling his tail around his feet and lifted his head to stare down at Balinor, and Merlin who was peering from around his father. Cyan hovered at Merlin's side. Thor hopped down onto a lower branch and after giving a low call started to preen his feathers. Kilgharrah regarded the sight calmly before lowering his head.

"Balinor, the last of the Dragonlords," the dragon murmured. "I never thought to see you again."

"Kilgharrah," Balinor's voice rumbled, lower than usual as he addressed the dragon. "Nor I you."

Both of them had thought it to be true. After Uther had betrayed them, it was safer for them to be separated. Plus Balinor had felt the guilt of helping Uther trap the dragon, even though he himself had been lied to. Kilgharrah said nothing on that subject, instead he lowered his head and stretched out his neck to peer around Balinor to look at Merlin. Merlin stayed pressed to his father's back, clinging onto him tightly, and peering at Kilgharrah from that safe haven. Balinor waited, the dragon was no danger to Merlin, he didn't even need to command Kilgharrah to ensure that. Cyan gave a low growl, in warning and apprehension as he sensed Merlin's nervousness. Balinor lifted his hand in a curt gesture and the wolf backed up, obeying his leader, moving to Balinor's far side. But rather than lying down, as he often would do, he stayed tense, and alert, rumbling again as Kilgharrah assessed Merlin.

Balinor felt Merlin's hands tighten on his clothes and he watched, with mild surprise, as Kilgharrah's eyes softened and the corners of his mouth quirked in a semblance of a smile.

"And hello, my little warlock," Kilgharrah said gently.

Merlin gave a little murmur of surprise, and his grip relaxed a fraction. Balinor's gut stirred with worry as the dragon addressed Merlin. He should have known really. The dragon was a creature of magic, from the old religion. He would be able to sense the power in Merlin, who was so similar. He felt Merlin shuffle towards the dragon, although he stayed close, and still held on.

"Hello, big dragon," Merlin said, his voice tentative. Kilgharrah blinked at the greeting and huffed with light laughter. Merlin's grip relaxed completely, so Balinor could turn his body towards Merlin and address him over his shoulder.

"His name is Kilgharrah," Balinor corrected. Merlin bit down on his lip, looking at the dragon, who kept his head down, still looking at Merlin intently.

"Hello, Kilgharrah," Merlin said, stepping forward, and surprising the dragon by gently petting him on the nose, laying his hand between the dragon's nostrils. Balinor smirked as he watched Kilgharrah's eyes widen and his nostrils flared, an action which attracted Merlin's attention. Tilting his head he peered into Kilgharrah's left nostril, hair rippling as the dragon exhaled lightly.

"Hello, Merlin," Kilgharrah answered him, keeping still as Merlin stroked him.

Merlin saw nothing wrong with petting the dragon. He was quite used to petting Cyan and Thor, and Merlin himself was fond of hugs and tactile contact. He found it comforting and clearly presumed everyone and everything else did. It was probably the first time anyone had treated Kilgharrah in such a way. But Merlin's actions were guileless and innocent. Kilgharrah patiently let Merlin stare at him.

"Can you breathe fire?" Merlin asked.

The dragon pulled his head back, lifting it into the air, he exhaled heavily and sent a jet of flame into the air before bringing his head back down to Merlin's level.

"Yes, my little warlock."

"We told you that," Balinor said gently.

"But I wanted to see it," Merlin said, going back to petting the dragon and leaning against him, his initial fear fading away. Kilgharrah again looked surprised, blinking in shock as Merlin moved to his side now rubbing his neck.

"Now you have," Kilgharrah said. He turned his head back to Balinor, while Merlin rested against Kilgharrah's shoulder. Cyan trotted from Balinor's side and went to Merlin, sniffing tentatively at the dragon. Thor swooped down to rest himself on Kilgharrah's back.

"I never thought I would see you helping Camelot," the dragon said to Balinor.

"I'm not, I'm helping you. You can't hold onto your anger."

"And you have not?" Kilgharrah asked, his voice lowering. Merlin turned to watch, leaning against the dragon but looking at the scene warily. Balinor glanced at Merlin, smiling at him to reassure him. Merlin smiled back.

"Not any more," Balinor said.

"The child has tamed you," Kilgharrah announced in mild amusement. The Dragonlord raised his eyebrows.

"That may be considered so. His arrival was… coincidental."

"You don't sound as if you believe in such coincidence," Kilgharrah mused.

"I do not, neither do you, I suspect. After so many years, he ran, to me, without hesitation."

"Fate and destiny are powerful things, separately they control much, combined they are a force that cannot be reckoned with."

"And what do you know of Merlin's destiny?" Balinor demanded. "You are a creature of magic able to see the paths, what do you see."

"Even I cannot entirely understand it. So many years have been lost, paths changing so they have twisted incomprehensibly. But all lead to the Once And Future King, and the uniting of Albion, magic returning to the land, stronger, in a new guise."

"You must be part of it, for you to be free now."

"That is a mystery to me, Dragonlord. I know not who or why I was released. The chain links were severed by the rocks. I was not in sight when it occurred, and no magic warned me of the event, I merely felt the ripple down the chain."

"It makes no sense. Merlin has no place in destiny."

"I believe Dragonlord, that it is the only thing that makes sense."

"You can tell me no more?" Balinor asked.

"Not about the young warlock. I cannot see. But the threads are stretched, pushing beyond their boundaries. Yours among them. I have no sense of any destiny, just a knowledge that you and I should never have met again."

"But you know Merlin."

"Yes, I do," Kilgharrah said gently. Lowering his head he went close to Balinor. "I do not understand, the same as you. Just simply tell me what you wish of me, and let us be done with each other."

"Cease your attack, you will attack nothing and no one. Leave here and be at your liberty, but allow no innocents to come to harm around you. You have been chained for so long, be at peace."

"There is little peace for those that are alone, when the ghosts of memory come."

Balinor reached out and put a hand on Kilgharrah's nose. He smiled to himself, realising he had also become quite attached to physical contact.

"You are not that alone. Now go, let it go now."

"Destiny will still hunt us all," Kilgharrah said. "But for now, I will do as you command My Lord."

Merlin stepped back as Kilgharrah rose up onto his feet. Cyan ran back and Thor took to the air. The dragon settled back and started to lift himself into the air, his body moving as he rose up.

"I will see you again, you most definitely, my little warlock," Kilgharrah said. He turned in the air, circling around, gazing at Thor as he flew across the clearing towards the line of trees in the west and then suddenly he lurched up, flittering away from the canopy as several other birds scattered, disturbed from their roosting place. Merlin ran to Balinor and clung on, whimpering and hiding as the horsemen cleared the trees.

Balinor slowly started to back up, keeping Merlin behind him. Cyan paced, running round them and Thor flew over their heads, screaming out as he glided over the trees.

The soldiers and knights started to move in formation, the procession halting as Kilgharrah screamed out, roaring his anger.

"Again, Uther!" the dragon bellowed.

It almost worked as a signal, the horses started to run forward, following the signal of their leader, who took the front line forward. Balinor watched in shock and behind him Merlin started to whimper in panic. There was only one thing Balinor could do, order the dragon to scatter them, but as he opened his mouth to shout a command, something else rode over him, the magic crashing out like a wave.

Merlin heard the sound of the horse's feet, the thudding sound as they galloped towards him. It triggered the panic, his memory rising, the moment the men had come.

The thudding horse beats that made him look up in confusion. No one had horses, not to ride like that. There were the old docile ones that worked in the field, who plodded. They didn't run, they didn't make this sound. He had been confused, simply pausing in his task and looking up. Merlin, like the other youngsters, was helping gather the harvest with the women. The men had gone to start collecting wood. It was turning to autumn and it would soon be winter, they needed firewood, they needed supplies. The last thing the village of Ealdor needed was raiders taking the harvest.

But mere vegetables and grain were not what these ones had come for. Merlin had run, when his mother had screamed at him. There was just the pounding of feet and the screams. He saw one of the young girls grabbed, hoisted over the horse and she had cried as the man hit her hard on the rump, yanking her skirts up and ripping off her underwear.

"Soon to be ripe!" the man shouted, smacking again.

"She'll be better sold fresh, pick a colt if you want to break in to ride tonight!" another man's voice rang out coarsely. "I'll pluck it."

"That little brat will do!"

Merlin shrank down as the eyes fixed on him.

"Run, Merlin! To the woods, take Will! Do what you can to stop them! Anything Merlin!" his mother had screamed. Merlin, frightened and disorientated had done as he was told. But he had looked back, to check on his mother, to see her in front of the horses, waving to try and frighten them, and then struck down by the man riding one, to fall under the feet of another. The red liquid sprayed out from her head and Hunith had gone still. So did Merlin. Will had tugged at his hand but Merlin couldn't move, something held him, rooting his feet down in place, blanketing his body in inertia. He'd wait for mother to tell him what to do.

She never had.

Merlin hadn't felt anger, no emotion that he could really use. Now suddenly it came. Hunith had been taken from him, but she had been wary of him using his magic, he could have torn down the raiders without even thinking about it. Balinor had never put such restraint on him. No sign of his power has shown around the few people he had met since then, simply because it was not needed, and still his mother's lessons had held. Balinor would need to know because he was father, like mother, it was their secret to know.

This time he couldn't let it happen, the bad things. Merlin's power rose, panic riding the wave as it crested, crashing out of him but with a newly found skill, control. Merlin knew what he was doing, he practiced around Balinor, and he had played with his power, testing it again and again, knowing what was right and wrong to do. Bringing things back to life was bad, making things grow was good. Hurting nice people couldn't be done, but these couldn't be nice people, they were making the bad sound.

But still something of a conscience held. Balinor had told the dragon not to hurt people, so Merlin couldn't do any different. Even if you were angry, hurting people might not be right. Like the angry men who had hurt Gwaine.

Merlin didn't understand it. A world of moral dilemmas crashed down on him. The only thing he did know was he wasn't letting anyone hurt father, like they had done mother.

The front line of men and horses crashed against the solid wall of Merlin's power. He didn't ask it to do anything but be there, and they ran into an invisible force. The foot soldiers crashed down, horses toppled and a hurricane ranged as Merlin screamed, in panic and fear and denial. He wasn't going to let his happen. Kilgharrah screamed in response. He had been ordered not to hurt anyone but he flew forward, flying low over the knights to scare the horses, disorientate the men, and he bellowed out, sending flames low enough over them to make them all duck.

The only one that stayed on his horse was Uther. His legs clamped around the animal, his hands pulling the reins, sawing on it's mouth to keep the animal in place, until he could look up, glaring at the Dragonlord and his child.

"The boy's a sorcerer! Take them both!"

"Merlin run!" Balinor shouted, pushing Merlin towards the trees. Merlin turned and then Balinor pushed him again, hurrying Merlin along. Balinor was behind him so Merlin ran. Cyan plunged ahead of them, leading the way, skirting around obstacles, Merlin following him, his head filled with panic. He turned as he heard the sounds closing in. The soldiers were just making it through the tree line. Merlin lashed out again, without even thinking. Trees toppled as the ground cracked underneath. Merlin didn't think about what he was doing, or at least how the task was achieved. All he wanted to do was separate himself and Balinor from the soldiers.

The men cried out as the gaping hole opened up, diving out of the way of the toppling trees. Balinor grabbed Merlin's arm, pulling him along as they fled.

It had done some of the work to give them a head start, but the horsemen either jumped or skirted the fissure in the ground. Merlin yelped as one rode out from the left. The horse reared as Cyan charged forward, snapping at the horses legs, diving out of the way as they flailed. Balinor ran forward, grabbing the man as the horse plunged down, yanking him off and bringing him to the ground. Snorting and jumping the horse backed up, eyes rolling and foam dripping from it's mouth. Cyan lunged again and the horse bolted, charging through the forest. Balinor slammed his fist into the knight's head knocking him out, and he grabbed the sword that had fallen from his hands. Merlin whimpered, his eyes rolling as much as the horse's had, as he tried to comprehend what was going on. He staggered back as more horsemen came. Balinor grabbed him before he could fall and pushed him onward.

"Keep going Merlin, run!"

Merlin paused, turning to look at Balinor, grabbing his arm.

"No!" Merlin yelped, getting a hint of what Balinor was going to do. Like Hunith had done years before. Merlin clung desperately. Balinor pulled him close, holding onto Merlin tightly, he heard some words as Balinor spoke, and Merlin felt a surge of something, he somehow knew the words, and understood was Balinor was saying. Overhead the dragon roared in response hearing the commands that Balinor was giving.

"Merlin, you need to run. I'll be fine, I'll find you, I promise, just run. You need to get away, promise me!"

"Father, don't go!" Merlin whimpered, clinging for a moment.

"I'll be right behind you, I promise, I'll follow you, but you need to go. I want you to stay safe."

Merlin jumped as the sounds of shouting became louder. He whimpered again, confused and uncertain, until Balinor turned him round and gave him a little push in the right direction.

"Go Merlin! You have to run!"

Merlin ran forward, turning once and then fleeing away, tears running from his eyes, stumbling along. Balinor watched him go, slowly backing up to try and follow Merlin, but he was going to have to take out some of the soldiers. The dragon would help scatter them, distracting them. Hopefully they would believe the dragon was with them, and he could lead some of them away, as commanded. Balinor would have to deal with the rest. He turned to look at Cyan. The wolf had paused, looking at him steadily, panting from the exertion of the flight. He bounced back, blinking as he regarded Balinor, then the wolf jerked round, streaking off after Merlin before Balinor could command him to do so.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Arthur didn't even bother with a saddle, he just hurriedly put a bridle on one of his horses, flung himself on it's back and thundered out of the castle. Lancelot followed, Arthur knew he would without even seeing him. But Leon didn't seem to be with them, although he had chased them down. No one tried to stop him, no one could have, so intent on his mission.

The thing was. Arthur wasn't entirely sure what his mission was, who he was going to face, and who he was going to protect. He wasn't sure who his anger was aimed at. He wanted to know why his father was doing this. Arthur had told him of Balinor's plan, and that he would leave once he had dealt with the dragon. Uther had said nothing on the subject and Arthur had assumed that although Uther wasn't happy about using Balinor, that he would let it go. Now he realised it was simply because he knew Arthur would object, and would also find a way to warn the Dragonlord.

He knew his father had not wanted to let the dragon go, but Arthur's only goal was the protection of Camelot. It was now occurring to him that not only did he want that, but he also, deep down, agreed with Balinor's reasoning on the dragon. He had done no harm to Camelot, until he had been kept prisoner there for two decades.

He galloped through the trees and into the clearing, hauling the horse back as he saw the devastation. Arthur urged the horse on and reached the other side, the animal under him skidding to a halt by the crack in the ground. He circled his steed and looked at a nearby soldier.

"What happened?"

"The boy, My Lord, he made the ground shake."

"Merlin?" Arthur asked in shock. If it had been the dragon or Balinor responsible for the damage he could have perhaps understood it. But Merlin, the young boy was so placid, at least over the few days Arthur had known him.

"He's a sorcerer! The king has gone after them, they're searching the woods."

Arthur cantered round the crack and the horse hopped over a fallen log. As he rode into the forest he knew it was useless on the animal, he couldn't move at any speed. He jumped off the mare and sent her back. She'd head to home, or one of the other men would find her. Arthur drew his sword and ran off into the forest.

Again he still didn't know what his aim was. He just followed the sounds, some of the men had torches, searching the area. Then some instinct caught him. Arthur turned and headed, running straight, leaping objects, skirting trees without even thinking about it. He knew the area, it was around his home, he could move through it without any danger. But this felt different. He had no idea what drove him, until he jumped into a small gorge and paused, his chest heaved with the effort, arms and legs aching, his sword ready as something scuffled to his left.

He watched the figure huddle against the rocks. It was the rumbling sound that followed that told Arthur who it was, as Cyan moved forward, his eyes glittering in the moonlight.

"Merlin?" Arthur said, lowering his sword and stepping forward carefully. He gasped as he saw Merlin.

He was a sorry sight; eyes wide, clothes torn, his face smeared with dirt. The worst part was the look on his face. He was so frightened and confused, not understanding what had happened. Arthur couldn't equate the damage he had seen with the trembling youth he saw now. Merlin meant no harm to anyone. Arthur stepped forward and reached for him. Merlin retreated.

"Merlin, it's all right," Arthur said gently. He risked another step forward. Cyan rumbled the sound rising from his chest, just as confused. He knew Arthur, his scent had become familiar, it was one that was now present in the cave he knew as home. They had travelled with Arthur to Camelot. But again, he sensed Merlin's apprehension, and automatically that made the wolf's caution rise.

They all jumped at the sound of people coming closer. Merlin pressed himself tighter to the rocks. Arthur reached out and grabbed Merlin's wrist, pulling him again.

"Come on, we need to get you out of here."

Without any further preamble he turned and pulled Merlin with him, dragging him out of the gorge and running for it. Arthur wasn't quite sure what possessed him. He knew the rules of Camelot. Sorcerery was forbidden, dealt with by execution. But Merlin wouldn't have known that. He didn't want to hurt anyone. He had reacted to the soldiers attack. Arthur didn't want to see Merlin dead, or dragged to Camelot.

He yanked him some distance and then paused.

"Go west through the trees, keep going, I'll distract them."

"But father! Where's father?" Merlin whimpered. "I don't want him to be gone, like mother! Mother got hurt by the horses."

Arthur pulled Merlin closer, looking him in the eye.

"I'll try and find him, I'll look I promise. But you can't stay Merlin, you have to run, just go beyond the ridge and follow the track. You'll be fine. Go!"

Merlin clung to him, and Arthur felt the urge to keep holding on, but he couldn't, the sounds were coming closer. He spun Merlin round and pushed him forward, backing it up by slapping the youth's backside with the flat of his sword.

"GO!" Arthur ordered.

Merlin again ran. Cyan dived forward and then paused, turning to look at Arthur. Arthur looked back at the wolf's eyes. Then the wolf's head bobbed down, and as it came up Cyan spun and shot into the darkness, tailing Merlin. Arthur turned and dashed back the way they had come, intercepting the men at the gorge and telling them he hadn't seen anyone when he came this way.

Arthur went to his father, and they scanned the woods until dawn. But much to Uther's chagrin he found neither the boy sorcerer nor the Dragonlord.


	11. Chapter 11

**Now we sort of go into the realms of the unknown, and a few more characters get involved. **

Merlin was cold, filthy and tired. His fingers gripped Cyan's fur and he sobbed his heart out onto the wolf's accommodating shoulder. Cyan took it calmly. He couldn't do anything else, several times Merlin had shouted the command to find Balinor. Cyan trotted off, nose to the ground, looking for a trace, but after a moment he would turn back and go and sit by Merlin's feet, looking up at him, his stunning blue eyes apologetic for his failure.

Now Merlin didn't know what to do. He had eaten, he had foraged as he had searched the forest, but then he had stopped and sat on a fallen log and the tears had started. Balinor was nowhere to be found. Merlin pressed his face into Cyan's fur, shivering with cold. And the wolf gave a low rumble that turned in a mild growl.

"Are you all right?"

Merlin's head jerked up, his arms wrapping around Cyan's neck, clenching his fists into the wolf's fur. He stared at the woman with some surprise, looking around to see where she had come from. He hadn't heard her approach.

In contrast he didn't think it strange to see here there, walking through the forest, with no cloak, her red dress accentuating her figure. Merlin pressed himself tighter to Cyan, clinging tightly to him. Cyan gave another low growl, but it was less certain this time.

"No," Merlin said, straightforward and honest. The woman smiled at him, sympathetically.

"Oh dear. How did you end up here?"

"We had to run away, from the men. They were bad men! And I don't know where father is, he made me run away, and I don't know what to do, and I don't know how to get home. I want to go home! Father would go home! I don't know where home is!"

Merlin poured out his woes and looked at the woman. She smiled and sat down on a nearby log. Then she looked around.

"I don't see any bad men. But I could help you look for your father, and find your home."

"Really?" Merlin asked with sudden hope. The woman smiled gently.

"Yes, of course. But you can't stay out here."

"Why not?" Merlin asked stubbornly.

Merlin started to sob again, onto Cyan's shoulder. The woman regarded him carefully. Merlin didn't pay much attention.

"Well, maybe you could come home with me. I could help you find your father," she said.

"Could you?" Merlin asked, looking hopeful and apprehensive. He sat up a little, still clinging to Cyan but regarding the lady with greater interest. She was pretty, Merlin thought, in her red dress and long hair falling to her shoulders.

"Yes, I'm sure I could."

"And I lost my pack, it had my food in it," Merlin said. "And father said to run, and he would find me, but he hasn't. And Arthur promised to look too."

The woman continued to regard him with sympathy.

"And I'm hungry. I don't know what to do. I want to go home!"

She watched as Merlin burst into another round of tears, still clinging to Cyan, who turned to lick at Merlin's damp face, whining in sympathy. The woman slowly stood up. The rustle of material caught Merlin's attention, and he stared up at her with reddened eyes, which were a sharp contrast to his pale face.

"You come with me," she said gently. "I'll look after you."

Merlin smiled, the lady seemed nice, and not bad. Merlin's muddled mind couldn't give him a reason for not trusting the woman. All the women in Ealdor had been kind, and nice, and looked after the children. Merlin relaxed his grip on Cyan and unsteadily got to his feet. He sniffed loudly and wiped his face with his hand. Cyan pressed against him, helping Merlin stay steady. Then they both turned their gaze on the woman.

She gave another smile, her eyes moving from Merlin to Cyan, before she turned and took a few steps before looking over her shoulder.

"Come on, you come with me."

Merlin gave a tentative smile, taking a few shaky steps forward, jogging to catch the woman up. Then he remembered his manners.

"I'm Merlin."

She turned to look at him as they slowly started to walk through the trees, and she smiled again.

"Hello Merlin, I'm Nimueh."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Merlin wasn't sure where they walked, or what direction it was. But he trustingly followed Nimueh, carefully slipping his hand into hers as they walked along. She had promised to help find Balinor, and Merlin had no reason to doubt that. Cyan trotted along at Merlin's heels as they made their way through the forest, stopping at the edge of a lake. Merlin gazed at it in bafflement, but followed along as Nimueh walked down to the bank, towards a small boat floating in the shallow water, by a tiny wooden jetty.

Very carefully she extracted her hand from Merlin's and nodded at the boat.

"You get in."

"Where are we going?" Merlin asked, staring at the boat as if it might bite him, and inching back from the water lapping gently against the bank.

"To the island."

Merlin looked up, staring out into the water, the centre of the lake lost to a thick mist, which blanketed the surface, giving the air a damp feel.

"I can't see it," he said.

"No, but it's there, go on, get in."

"Will father be there?"

"No, but I have things that will help find him."

Merlin considered that for a moment before clambering into the boat, making it rock, he sat down abruptly, jarring his backside as he landed on the seat. Cyan took a leap, making the boat dip again. Merlin grabbed for the wolf and clung on again, eyes rolling in his head as he got used to the movement of the boat, which seemed to be mirroring itself in his belly. He watched as Nimueh stepped into the boat, standing at the bow steadily, the little craft hardly moving as she placed her feet. Then Merlin's eyes widened as he watched Nimueh look up over the lake, and she whispered. Merlin watched her eyes glow, and his spine tingled as he felt the power. It traced over him lightly and he gaped up at her in awe, hardly aware of the fact that the boat had started to move, until Cyan shifted against him.

Merlin glanced about, watching the ripples on the surface of the lake as the boat glided across, without any visible propulsion. Then he glanced up at Nimueh, who remained standing and seemed unaffected by the movement. She glanced down at him and smiled. Merlin blinked.

"You know magic!" Merlin whispered in awe. Nimueh smiled.

"Yes, Merlin, I do."

Merlin blinked again, leaning forward, so he could whisper. "So can I. And father, he can talk to dragons. Will we find him?"

He almost reared back again as Nimueh held out her hand and lightly brushed his forehead. Merlin's skin started to tingle and Nimueh smiled.

"Yes, we will, Merlin, I promise."

Merlin smiled. He turned to look across the lake, clinging to Cyan as he did so. The wolf snuffled his nose into Merlin's neck, licking at his skin, and pushing his nose into Merlin's clothes. Merlin turned his head, gaping as he saw the huge shadow through the mist as the island appeared. He gave a little murmur of awe, hiding his face in Cyan's shoulder, and peering from around the wolf. Merlin blinked as the mist seemed to drift away, and the island became clearer.

"It's called the Isle Of The Blessed."

Merlin turned to gaze up at Nimueh, and then back again to the sight appearing in front of him, pushing through the thick mist. The damp air acted to keep the island in a gentle, soft focus and Merlin stared up at the walls of the building that dominated the small area.

As Merlin stared up, he huddled himself tighter to Cyan, shivering from the damp and from a strange sensation stirring in his gut. A sensation that had nothing to do with the strange movement of the boat, or his hunger; it was happening along with a mild disturbance in the back of his mind. Merlin thought that he should somehow know this place. It felt similar to the moment when he had taken it upon himself to run away from the slavers. He hadn't thought about doing anything like that before, but the feeling inside him had been too hard to ignore. Now it seemed the same. It was like he knew this place, but Merlin had never been here before.

He clung tighter to Cyan as the boat glided to a halt by another small jetty, and it rocked again as Nimueh stepped clear. Merlin hesitantly released Cyan, who bounded up, while Merlin clung to the sides of the boat.

"Come on, Merlin," Nimueh said, holding her hand out.

Very carefully Merlin released one hand from the side of the boat and put it into Nimueh's. Then he released his other hand and slowly scrambled up, getting his knees onto the jetty, crawling clear of the boat. Nimueh held onto him tightly, not attempting to help him up but keeping him steady as he got onto solid land. Merlin knelt for a moment before getting to his feet, his hand still in hers. Nimueh smiled, her eyes glittering with amusement at his ungainly antics. Merlin smiled back, shyly, thinking that she was very pretty when she smiled.

"Are you hungry, Merlin?" Nimueh asked, pulling him along. Merlin nodded. Cyan jogged ahead of them, but the wolf turned if he went too far, wandering back to Merlin's side and sniffing his free hand, gently taking it in his jaws now and again.

Merlin looked around at the large, broken down structure, looking up at the sky, his wide eyes taking in everything. He stumbled up the steps as they entered what looked to have been a room, years ago. Again his eyes roved and eventually focused on the stone altar. Merlin paused to stare at it, putting his hand on it, feeling the ripple of power run up his skin. He could feel his skin tingling, the magic was in the air, like the mist, but as he touched the stone, he felt it run deeper. Merlin's eyes widened and he pulled his hand back. He glanced up at Nimueh, who was watching his reaction calmly. Cyan ran about, sniffing the ground, tail wagging as he dashed about, eventually running back to Merlin, rubbing his head against Merlin's legs.

"I can feel it," Merlin told Nimueh.

"Magic is strong here," Nimueh said. Merlin paused, putting his hand back on the stone, feeling the rush of power again. Nimueh's eyes fluttered closed for a moment as she felt Merlin concentrate, reaching out to the magic.

"It knows me," Merlin said, eyes wide as he looked at her. Nimueh smiled.

"Of course, you're a creature of magic, created from that source, it is you."

That didn't make complete sense to Merlin, but he smiled at Nimueh anyway. She seemed to understand things. Father didn't always understand. Merlin's smile faded.

"Are we going to find father now?"

Nimueh nodded. "I can try, but you need to have something to eat and get some rest. You're tired aren't you?"

Merlin nodded, giving a yawn. He hadn't really thought about it while he was cold, and lost, and confused, but he did feel tired, and he wanted something to eat. He took his hand away from the altar and wandered over to Nimueh, still looking around at the huge structure. Merlin slid his hand into her and let her lead him beyond the open space into the building beyond, Cyan running at their heels.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Merlin hadn't questioned where the food had come from, a huge feast laid out on the table in a small dining hall. Nor did he comment on the dingy, but cared for rooms. They were dry and quite similar to the cave that he called home. Nimueh left him sleeping in one of the small cells, tucked up on a cot bed with Cyan next to him, Merlin's arms curled around the ever accommodating wolf.

Nimueh moved deeper into the old castle, heading down into the lower area, where the caves ran under the ground. The cavern she paused in looked like every other part of the underground tunnels, but that was mere surface. Each held it's own secrets. She moved to the font that lay in the centre, staring down into the water that had gathered in there. She ran a hand over the surface, letting it ripple as she searched for what she wanted.

Scenes came, they always did. They didn't always make sense, but she had listened to what Merlin had said. She saw the Dragonlord and the dragon together, and she watched the scene as Arthur led Merlin to safety. Nimueh closed her eyes, placing her hand into the water, pushing deeper. She didn't need to see what had happened, the only purpose to that was to try and find what lay beyond.

The pathways of fate and destiny couldn't always be clear, things could happen to change was should be, and what was meant to be, twisting it round, but always coming to the right conclusion. Something, she knew, had been wrong for a while, but it had been almost impossible to work out what. Opening her other hand she carefully dropped the glowing crystal into the water, and the liquid rippled again. Then her hand released the strands of hair she was holding, and they floated on the water.

Balinor was alive, when she had touched Merlin, searching for that power, she could sense it, but barely. It had not passed to Merlin, yet. The Dragonlord could simply be lost, looking for his son. But that would be an easy answer, Nimueh was not fool enough to believe the situation was easy. She had lived too long to expect that, changing guise when she needed to. It had become harder when Uther had started persecuting those that followed the old religion, but she had done the same then as she was doing now, looking for an answer. Solutions took time, and the solution had been lost.

She tensed, pushing into the mists, the areas of lost destiny. The pathways were hard to follow, but it was her talent, it was what had brought her to the Isle all those years ago, to be cared for by those of the old religion. She was only one of a few left, now, doing nothing more than waiting for something new.

Her lips twitched into a smile as she found something, latching onto it, and following it. Then she gasped, eyes opening, but seeing nothing. Her mind was no longer with her body, her spirit pushing out into the realms beyond the physical world. It told her one thing, she needed to find the Dragonlord. Her breath hitched as she moved deeper, latching onto a moment. Seeing the balance tip, as destiny took an unexpected turn.

It was always one simple act that caused the changes, but this one had been planned. She watched as Cyan intercepted the soldier who had nearly ended Balinor's life. The moment he should have died, as fate had suggested. But fate no longer seemed to have a say. Fate's sister destiny had taken over, the wolf had acted on instinct, his aim to protect one of his pack, the threads had been perfectly woven, to change that moment.

She followed the line of what had happened after that, tracing the events that had separated Balinor from Merlin.

"Oh, I thought it might have been you," Nimueh murmured to herself. She carried on moving through the mists, her spirit taking stronger form, feeling the ground under her ethereal feet and walking through. It was a risk, but it was one she was prepared to take. She could only scry for someone with such assurance if she had something of theirs. In Balinor's case she did.

She had Merlin.


	12. Chapter 12 Part One End

**This chapter - which made my brain hurt to write - kind of works as a conlusion to the first part of this story. So the following chapters will be in a part two segment, which will work a little differently as I write the next bit. Don't worry, it will make sense! **

Balinor was angry, which was an emotion he allowed himself to show. He was also desperately worried, which was something he hid from his captors, although they were probably not fooled by his act. His son, his only child, was missing and he had no idea what had happened to him. He had no real idea what had happened to himself, all he had been aware of was making sure Merlin escaped and then trying to follow. He had been cut off by a group of Camelot's soldiers and had been forced to skirt round them, and then as he had tried to search out Merlin he had become lost, and disorientated. Then the serkets had come.

One of his main options would have been to call the dragon, but the troops had still been moving within the forest. Instead Balinor, rather than call attention to himself, had allowed the beasts to subtly herd him to the person that had been waiting for him. Then she had brought him here.

Balinor was a 'guest'. He could walk around the castle, but with guards in tow. Food and clean clothes were readily available. But still Cenred's castle was cold. Without Merlin, nothing was right. Despair could have taken him, the pair who had captured him could have driven him down into that dark pit, but something remained. No one would notice the one thing that was giving the Dragonlord hope.

He walked out onto the balcony that his chambers led out to. Balinor refused to bring the dragon, they couldn't kill him, if they did, then they lost him and Merlin. Merlin wasn't gone, he was the son of a Dragonlord, and Balinor would know if that was lost, now he knew what the feeling was. He just didn't know what had happened to Merlin.

Strangely, Balinor knew he was safe. There was nothing else, but Balinor had hope. For years it was an emotion that had been lost to him, but not now, not when he had Merlin. And Merlin was safe and well.

No one else in the castle would notice another carrion bird swirling, it had taken a day for Balinor to see the crow that was occupying the battlements, keeping vigil by his rooms, watching but never coming too close. Thor sat there, still and quiet, as he often had been when things had happened, he had been there, and he waited. He still fed on the corpses hung down below and stole from the kitchen waste tossed carelessly in the courtyard but the crow remained, for most of the time, in position. Thor was just watching over him, which made Balinor think that Cyan had taken responsibility for Merlin. Thor was there, acting as a silent intermediary.

Thor stopped preening his feathers and he looked up. Balinor grimaced as he looked down into the courtyard, and another body was cut down and thrown to waste. Thor hopped along the battlements, watching the other birds circle. The bodies would be taken out to be burnt eventually, but until then, they lay discarded, the people that had occupied them were no longer of use.

Unlike the others of his kind, Thor didn't swoop, he sat there, and looked up at Balinor. The bird tilted his head and looked at him, blinking steadily.

It left Balinor with no doubt that the two creatures had been given to Merlin. This one he had saved, bringing him back to life, and in doing that had given something to the beast, a connection that was never going to break. It was almost as if Cyan had been left for Merlin to find, another creature that seemed strongly connected to him. Such coincidences left Balinor wondering, had Gwaine appeared for a similar purpose, which would reveal itself later. And there was the issue of the dragon's release, which had brought Prince Arthur to them.

Something appeared to have gone wrong again, now he was trapped here. He knew Cenred and the sorceress that seemed to have so much influence over him were looking for Merlin. Uther hadn't caught him, Morgause hinted that they had inside knowledge of what went on in Camelot, and Merlin had not been taken there for trial, or execution.

"Merlin, where are you?" Balinor asked, looking at Thor, who tilted his head and hopped sideways along the balcony, almost as if he was peering around Balinor.

"He's safe," a voice announced. It made Balinor spin round in shock, pressing himself back against the edge of the balcony. From behind him he heard Thor call out, sounding as if he was laughing. Balinor suppressed his desire to turn around and shout at the bird and instead he looked at the woman who was now stood in the middle of the room. He glanced towards the door, but it was closed, and he was sure he hadn't been so distracted that he missed hearing it open.

Balinor looked the woman up and down while she regarded him calmly. She gave a small smile, which drew Balinor's attention to her full, red lips, which matched perfectly with her dark hair, and the red dress that accentuated her figure. There was also, Balinor noticed, as he stared at her, a transparency to her. If he gazed hard enough, he could see the fireplace behind her, through her. She stepped forward, her shoes making no sound on the stone floor. The light from the fire was casting shadows across the floor, but no dark silhouette came from her.

Nimueh waited patiently while Balinor assessed her appearance, and the significant lack of a physical form.

"Where's my son, what have you done with him?"

She raised her eyebrows slightly, hearing the defensive concern in the Dragonlord's voice.

"I found him lost and wandering the forest, I thought it best to remove him completely from Camelot's proximity. I took him to the Isle of the Blessed. Him and the wolf. They are both safe."

"If you hurt him," Balinor said, and the empty threat hung in the air.

"Why do you assume that is my intention?"

Balinor's jaw tensed, his hands clenching at his sides, he stepped forward. Nimueh watched him, her face calm, there was nothing he could really do to her, and nothing he could honestly threaten her with.

"Please, he's only a child, he wouldn't hurt anyone."

As much as he hated himself for begging, Balinor couldn't help it. He didn't want anything to happen to Merlin. He had no idea what had happened, or what this woman's intentions was. It was clear she had power, but Balinor wasn't sure of her. Until, at his words, her face softened from the neutral, but somewhat patronising, expression, and she smiled, quite genuinely.

"I know," she said. "Things have become very complicated. I could sense the animosity I should have for him, and Merlin for me, and the challenges I should have wrought on him."

"Oh no, he's not a threat. Don't hurt him."

"I have no wish to hurt your child. He is trusting and all things considered, that is a great miracle, or more likely your work. We should have been in conflict, he and I, destiny spoke of it; but I have no wish to see him harmed. However, my wishes are not the only ones in play. Things interfered before I played my hand. The most insignificant of moments can have repercussions beyond what anyone can see."

"What does that mean?" Balinor demanded.

"Merlin was not bestowed his power without reason, his destiny was foretold, but in the shadows, other things exist, and see the underlying reasons for so much. They move to prevent such things; even those who would wish for what Merlin will no doubt achieve work against him." Nimueh paused, staring at Balinor intently, before she continued.

"One man's choice, to go east instead of west does not, on the face of it, appear to be a far reaching decision. But that decision brought him to one particular village, and one particular boy."

"Ealdor, and Merlin," Balinor said, his stomach clenching with dread.

"The man was Jarl, the one who held him captive for so long, until the day Merlin came close enough to you, and his magic took control of his instincts. The power will not be denied it's destiny, you became part of the means to ensure Merlin becomes who he is."

"But what is that?" Balinor asked.

"Part of it I cannot see, and what is quite singularly shrouded is your destiny. You have become just as significant as Merlin, without you, destiny cannot have him."

"Without me, he wouldn't exist," Balinor reasoned.

"Not simply because you are responsible for his creation, but you also became his salvation. It is Merlin that destiny wants, and they have to keep you alive, past what should have been. You now exist beyond the boundaries of your fate. Before this moment, you should have died, the wolf prevented it, at the crossroads with Arthur."

"Cyan," Balinor gasped, comprehension dawning within him. "He came out from the bushes, when Cenred's men attacked."

"Merlin is tied to Arthur. Even the oldest of us knows that. There had to be a way to bring them together. For that, destiny twisted events, choosing you. Another creature of magic was very certain of that."

Balinor stared at her, reading the tone of her voice as well as the words. "The dragon. It was you, you released the dragon."

"I confess. I did. That moment would have always happened, but I did so because all I could see was the coming together of Arthur and Merlin. Even the dragon, as I spoke to him, he knew of it. They are two sides of the same coin."

"My child is not capable of this; he cannot do what you ask of him."

"Yes, he can, and I do not ask it," Nimueh said. "For the sake of Albion it is being demanded of him, and he will fight if he has those around him to give him strength and courage. But what destiny has offered you, cannot be given to me. My path stays straight, from this, in this body I can no longer influence what is to come. I can only transcend when someone of equal or greater power destroys what I am."

"You can't ask that of Merlin."

"I shouldn't have needed to. I am the old, he is the new, I would draw him to it in time, once I had tested them both. But we no longer have the luxury of time. She will come for him but she won't hurt him, she fears you too much, I fear you. You are a man who lives beyond what fate wanted, because destiny needs you more."

"What does that mean?" Balinor demanded.

"That Merlin needs you. And we all need Merlin. With that one tiny shift destiny had to fight to get to here. I will make sure Merlin is brought you to. She'll come here to find him, I have much that she wants."

"Mor…"

Nimueh raised her hand. "Do not say that name. She will find me, she will bring you what you want, because I cannot, my part ends here, and I never expected it this way. He's a lucky boy, he had survived so long, because he had to come to you. You are not the only one who can make him what he is. But without you, he will be lost, like so many of us."

"What do you mean?"

Nimueh blinked. "I can tell you no more. He is safe and well, and Morgause will bring him to you. The rest is up to you."

"NO!" Balinor yelped and then stopped, she had gone. Nimueh had gone. At Balinor's yell the crow settled on the battlements started to caw.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

She was being woken up in the crudest of fashions. She fell back on her rump, a weight coming with her, pinning her down, as Merlin shook her. He was whimpering and clinging, Cyan at his side, licking her face frantically. As she opened her eyes and took a deep breath Merlin stopped frantically shaking her and instead flung his arms around her neck clinging onto her tightly. Merlin gave several hitching breaths as he tried to contain the sobs.

Nimueh wrapped her arms around him, running a hand up and down Merlin's back to try and settle his breathing.

"All right Merlin, everything's all right."

She let him cling for a moment more before pushing him upright and settling him back. His eyes stared at her, looking her up and down, his hands roaming a little, but there was no sexual edge to it. Merlin was simply checking she was all right, and real, and there. Nimueh reached up to stroke his cheek, bringing his full attention back to her face. Merlin blinked as he met her eyes.

"You didn't answer, and then you didn't move, you just stared," Merlin stammered. Nimueh let him cling again, and she ran her fingers through his thick dark hair.

"I know Merlin, I didn't mean to scare you. It's just what I do, I was trying to find your father."

Merlin pulled back and looked at her in confusion. He pouted and frowned.

"How? You were just stood there."

"It's what I was taught, it's one of the powers that I learnt." Nimueh slowly started to get up, pulling Merlin up with her. He was still staring at her carefully, watching her, his eyes filled with concern, to make sure she was all right.

"See," Nimueh said, concentrating carefully on the surface of the water. She tried to press through to reach Balinor again, but for some reason it wouldn't let her, instead the surface rippled, bringing up another image.

"That's Arthur!" Merlin announced in excitement. He almost put his hand in the water, but Nimueh caught him just in time, grabbing his wrist and moving his hand away. As she released him Merlin put his hand into hers and peered at the image of Arthur shouting at someone. Merlin tensed, shuffling behind Nimueh as he recognised the person in question.

"Merlin."

"He's the bad man!"

"What bad man?"

"Who sent the people to hurt us and I got lost!"

"Uther," Nimueh said, her voice sharpening with anger.

"Will he hurt Arthur?" Merlin asked in concern as he watched the scene, of the two men arguing. The water suddenly rippled and the image faded.

"No, he won't."

"Arthur rescued me. He promised to find father. Did he find father?"

"No, Merlin, someone else did, and they're going to come for you, and you have to go with them."

"Won't you come to?" Merlin asked. "You can come, father will like you."

Cyan wagged his tail and snuffled his nose into her free hand, his actions making it seem like he was agreeing with Merlin.

"No, I won't be able to come, Merlin. And when you go, you just have to remember that you'll be going to see your father."

Merlin nodded. "When will I see him?"

"It won't take long, and then they will come. You'll need to be ready."

"I don't have my pack, for my food and knife and things," Merlin said. Nimueh smiled at him, tugging his hand to get Merlin walking. Cyan bounced on ahead, then turned round, running towards them before he turned to bound ahead again. Nimueh looked at him, watching the wolf rather than looking at Merlin.

"Not that sort of ready Merlin, would you like me to show you some magic?"

"Yes, please."


	13. Part Two Chapter 1

**This is the beginning of the second part of the story. **

Balinor hadn't been surprised at the summons, or rather his 'invitation' to join Cenred in the courtyard. The Dragonlord didn't see the point in arguing over such a minor fact, by the look of the convoy that he had seen approaching from the balcony of his room, he knew it was Morgause returning with the Blood Guard, and he presumed Merlin too.

He had half hoped, almost expected, the woman to appear to him again. But she hadn't, she had left him lingering in limbo, and it had only been two days after that meeting that Morgause had set out, in full armour, with a group from the Blood Guard. If the sorceress had been telling the truth, then the promise that she had given him appeared to be coming true.

All Balinor had was her word, and it was all he could rely on. That and Thor's ongoing presence.

As he reached the threshold Balinor squared his shoulders and went out into the courtyard, heading down the steps. Morgause was in conference with Cenred, and the members of the Blood Guard were stood around the cart. Balinor paused, looking around, not seeing Merlin anyway. All he could hope was that he was concealed somewhere within the cover of the cart.

"Ah, My Lord Balinor," Cenred said, over politely.

"You asked for me," Balinor asked, not reacting to the title. Just because he was a Dragonlord, didn't mean he was addressed in such a manner. Balinor couldn't ever remember being so.

"It appears Morgause was successful," Cenred informed him. Balinor did his best not to react, other than to say, "really, Sire," in a mildly enquiring tone.

They all turned at a scuffling sound. Balinor tried not to gasp as Cyan's head appeared from behind the back wheel of the cart on the nearest side to them, the wolf slowly walking out, looking around, and sniffing the air and the ground.

A second later, he was followed by Merlin crawling out. He stayed squatted down, taking in his surrounding, the same as Cyan. Until he saw Balinor. Merlin leapt up and took a few steps towards him, but then he was pulled up short as Cyan paused. Merlin's eyes rolled around the scene, flinching as he looked at Morgause, and he backed up again, not wanting to leave the wolf's side. Balinor frowned in confusion, and then it turned to blistering anger as he caught sight of the chain that was securing the wolf to the cart, and therefore holding Merlin without any need to physically restrain him. Balinor sent the glare in Morgause's direction before going past her and Cenred to Merlin.

Balinor felt the anger mounting in him as he took in the sorry state Merlin was in. His clothes were filthy, and hanging a little on his slim frame. His hair was dirty, sticking up in clumps, small leaves and twigs tangled within it. He tottered on unsteady legs, wobbling like a newborn calf, looking weak and defenceless.

The worst part, the part that Balinor could hardly bare to look at, was Merlin's face. He looked terrified and deeply distressed. There was a smudge of dirt on his cheek, his eyes were glassy with tears, which were beginning to escape and run down his cheeks. He shifted from foot to foot, while he waited for Balinor to get to him.

When Balinor got close enough, Merlin lifted his arms, face crumpling as the first sob burst out of him and Merlin flung his arms around his father's shoulders and started to sob, the sounds bursting out from deep inside his ribcage, his entire body shuddering with the force of them. Balinor wrapped his arms around Merlin and clung onto him. Balinor's horror mounted as he realised Merlin's ribs were sticking out, the feel of them obvious through the thin shirt he was wearing. He was shivering frantically, but Balinor wasn't sure if that was cold, or shock, or both.

The only good thing was he had hold of Merlin. His son was alive, at least, but he seemed to have totally regressed to the distressed, vulnerable creature that he had been when Balinor had first encountered him. He put his hand on the back of Merlin's head, wincing a little at the sticky feel of his hair.

"All right Merlin. Oh, my son,"

Merlin's answer was lost in the shuddering sobs that were wracking his body. His babbling was making no sense to Balinor as Merlin struggled for breath while he talked. The Dragonlord ran his hand up and down Merlin's back, trying to get him to control himself.

Balinor gently shushed him down, trying to get him to just concentrate on breathing. To get Merlin to do that, he murmured at him gently, knowing that Merlin would stop talking to listen.

"It's all right Merlin, you're safe now. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you, I just wanted to make sure you were safe."

Merlin's sobs lessened, although he was still struggling for breath. Balinor pulled back a little, and Merlin tightened his grip, not wanting to be parted from him, even in the slightest. Cyan moved to Merlin's other side, pressing against his legs, rubbing his head against him for reassurance. Balinor shifted his grip, tightening his arm around Merlin's waist. Merlin kept one arm around his shoulders and his other hand latched onto the front of Balinor's clothing. His sleeve slid down his arm and Balinor gently rubbed Merlin's skin, feeling how cold he was, and how thin his arm seemed. Merlin turned his head away, tucking his face down into Balinor's neck as Morgause stepped closer. Balinor glared at her.

"What have you done to him?"

Morgause's jaw tensed and her eyes hardened. Cyan gave a low rumbling warning, baring his teeth at her. Balinor got the feeling she hadn't got anywhere close to Merlin. The only reason Merlin had cooperated was she had the wolf chained.

"I did nothing," Morgause snapped.

"I can see that, not even feeding him by the feel of him!"

Merlin started to babble again, the words were still lost and Balinor felt him sag, and he tightened his grip on Merlin, making sure he stayed upright.

"I'm not angry with you Merlin, it's not your fault. Take deep breaths." Balinor carried on talking gently to him, calming Merlin down again.

Cenred watched the exchange, and then said.

"Perhaps you would like to show Merlin the rooms that have been prepared for him."

"He'll stay with me," Balinor said. "And he won't go without Cyan."

"Cyan?"

Balinor nodded at the wolf. "The wolf."

"That creature killed one of my men," Morgause snarled. "The beast should be slaughter."

Merlin's breath hitched, and Balinor felt him tense with panic.

"Then he presumably thought the man was a danger to Merlin," Balinor said. "However, you will not touch him. No one else will be harmed if you release Cyan, you have my word on that."

"And you expect me to believe that?" Morgause snapped.

"Yes," Balinor said. "Or we could spend the rest of our time stood out here."

Morgause didn't reply, instead Cenred leant forward and whispered something into her ear. She turned her head to glare at him, and he shrugged casually. Looking back she glared down at the wolf and whispered, Balinor watched her eyes glow and the shackle around Cyan's neck dropped onto the courtyard with a clatter. Cyan pranced back slightly and put his nose down to sniff at the metal circle that had been around his neck. Then he looked up and growled at Morgause. Several of the Blood Guard drew their weapons.

"Cyan!" Balinor snapped the wolf's name and he trotted round to Balinor's other side, sitting down and looking up at him. Cyan lifted a paw and scraped at Balinor's leg and he gave a whine.

"Good boy," Balinor said. Cyan stood up again, panting and wagging his tail. As Balinor put his hand down Cyan put his head under it, letting Balinor scratch his ears, before the wolf reached to take Balinor's hand in his jaws, carefully clinging on but not hard enough to cause any damage.

Morgause looked furious at the sudden display. Cenred watched with some interest and amusement.

"I'll take them with me," Balinor said very gently coaxing Merlin to move. He shuffled a little, as if he couldn't entirely trust his legs to keep him upright. Balinor encouraged Merlin to put his weight against him and took his time walking his son across the courtyard and up the steps into the castle. Cyan trotted behind him, keeping close to the two men. Morgause glared at them, clearly not happy with the turn of events.

Before Cenred could comment, there was a sudden calling of a bird and a large crow swooped past them, causing them both to jump. Several of the guard did the same as Thor landed on the nearby ledge. Merlin looked up.

"Thor!" he said his voice brightening. "It's Thor!" he informed Balinor.

Most people in the courtyard watched with amazement as Merlin held out his arm and Thor hopped onto it, just by Merlin's elbow. The crow waddled along Merlin's upper arm and settled on his shoulder. Thor poked his beak into the tangled mess of Merlin's hair, as if he was planning to start preening him. As Balinor led Merlin up the rest of the steps Thor balanced on Merlin's slim shoulder, and the bird turned his head to regard Morgause carefully making the sorceress tense, even Cenred felt mildly unnerved by the birds bright eyes fixed in their direction. Then the small group were lost to the shadows of the castle.

"That went well, what did you do to the boy?" he asked.

"Nimueh interfered," Morgause snapped. "The boy might have power but he's more use as a means to control his father."

"Kill his father and he becomes the last Dragonlord," Cenred said.

"Balinor will be easier to control, he won't risk any threat to his precious son," Morgause said. "We were a little more successful with the rest of the prizes we picked up. It may be best for now to conceal them."

"My castle is at your disposal," Cenred said. Morgause smirked at him and then went back towards the cart. Cenred lingered for a moment, curiosity niggling him at what else Morgause might have retrieved from the Isle of the Blessed. Cenred turned and indicated to one of his guards in the courtyard to come forward. He murmured some instructions and the man headed off into the castle. Cenred watched Morgause for a moment before going to the cart to investigate.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Balinor walked Merlin at a slow pace through the castle, up the stairs and to the chamber he had been given on his arrival. Merlin would not want to be anywhere else, the pair of them were entirely accustomed to using the same living space. Merlin was clearly aware of the two guards that followed them at a discreet pace. It was more discreet than usual, which was no doubt, at least partly, due to the wolf trotting alongside Merlin..

Merlin's breathless tears had ceased, he clung to Balinor until they got to the room and as they entered Balinor carefully sat Merlin down on the end of the bed, before going to shut the door firmly. The guards lingered at the end of the corridor. Cyan jumped onto the bed beside Merlin. Thor hopped off exploring the room. Merlin looked around; his eyes a little dull as he took in the new surroundings. Balinor sat next to him and Merlin shuffled closer, putting his head down on his father's shoulder. Balinor wrapped his arms around Merlin again.

"All right, it's all right Merlin, you're safe now."

"I want to go home," Merlin whined, the tears starting again, dripping out of his eyes. Balinor gently wiped them away, he very much understood Merlin's feelings.

"I know, but we can't, not yet. I'm sorry son, we should never have left. We should have stayed where we were and not got involved."

"Don't want to stay here."

"There's no choice in the matter at the moment, what happened Merlin?"

Merlin's face crumpled again and his tears started off. When he tried to talk again he became too hysterical to say anything coherent. All Balinor could pick out was the fact that Merlin wasn't able to find him, after they had escaped Camelot's guards. Balinor hugged Merlin closer, guilt settling in his heart like a stone.

"I'm sorry, Merlin," he said. The apology hardly seemed to cover it. "Don't worry, I'm not letting you out of my sight again. Not even for a second."

That seemed to make Merlin feel a little happier. He snuggled tighter to Balinor, sagging a little as he rested against him, Merlin's head dropping in exhaustion. It jerked up again as there was a knock on the door that led to the adjacent room of the apartments that Balinor had been given. Merlin gave a whimper of panic. Balinor stood up, Merlin didn't let him step away, he kept his arms around his father's waist and pressed his face into his stomach like a frightened child. Balinor petted Merlin's matted hair. He needed to get him cleaned up and fed.

It appeared, he wasn't the only one thinking that, as he called for the person knocking to enter the door opened and one of the serving maids in the castle came in, bobbing in a quick curtsey before saying.

"The king has ordered a bath to be made ready, and some food to be brought to you."

She eyed Balinor nervously. He had not exactly been the most gracious of guests, but it wasn't the young woman's fault, she was a servant, she did as she was told. This time, the instructions were some that Balinor gratefully received.

"Thank you."

The woman bobbed again and then backed up. In the room beyond Balinor could see the bath steaming, and other servants pouring hot water into it. Merlin's peered around Balinor, watching with wide frightened eyes.

"I'll have the food brought up here while you bathe," the woman said, and guessing that Balinor and Merlin needed privacy she shooed the rest of the servants out, and shut the door on them. She looked around to check everything was ready as Balinor brought Merlin through. Then she pointed to the nearby rail.

"I've brought some clean clothes as well."

"Thank you," Balinor said again. The woman had been attending to his needs every day. From the start the hint had clearly been given to her to deal with his every 'need'. The more subtle parts of that Balinor had gently rejected. He had no wish to get entangled with any sort of relationship, other than the one with his son. That appeared to be having more than enough complications. She nodded curtly and disappeared through the connecting door, pulling it closed and she would presumably see to the food while Balinor saw to Merlin.

Merlin had watched the entire thing with fearful eyes, but he settled as they were alone together. Cyan and Thor had followed them through, moving about the room, exploring it intently.

"Come on, son, let's get you cleaned up."

Merlin assisted a little as Balinor helped him out of his clothes. It gave the Dragonlord a chance to look his son over. Apart from the odd scratch and bruise Merlin looked uninjured, but he had lost a little weight. He had always been of a slight build, but his weight had gone down. Balinor knew Merlin too well to not see it.

Morgause had been gone almost a week, six days including today. Which meant that Merlin had been with her two, maybe even three days. She clearly hadn't cared for him, but Merlin, Balinor realised, feared and, as far as he could tell from his son's reactions, disliked her. Morgause had only contained him, because she had somehow taken Cyan, and Merlin had stayed by the only thing he knew.

"Into the bath, Merlin," Balinor said. Merlin put his hand in, swirling it around in the hot water before he clambered in and sat down, drawing his knees up to his chest in the way he usually sat. Cyan snuffled along the edge of the bath, his nostrils quivering as the steam rose up. Balinor reached for the soap, and the sickening feeling of déjà vu became caught up inside him. He remembered the first time he had encountered Merlin. It wasn't as bad this time. Merlin now didn't fear him, as he had done on their first encounter. But whatever these people required of him, whatever destiny wanted of him, was too much for his emotionally fragile son.

Merlin's frantic babbling had ceased, now he just looked at Balinor with dull, hurt eyes.

"Are you all right, son?"

Merlin nodded. Balinor washed Merlin across his shoulders and Merlin obligingly lifted his arm so Balinor could wash that and work his way across Merlin's chest. Merlin put his arm down as Balinor finished and moved to his legs. Balinor concentrated on what he was doing.

"Are you angry with me, son?"

"No, no!" Merlin said frantically, reaching to cling at him. Balinor looked up, lifting a hand to brush Merlin's hair from his eyes, deciding he needed to clean that as well.

"We shouldn't have gone," Balinor said. "To Camelot, we should have left the dragon to finish what he started. None of this would have happened."

Merlin bit down on his lip. "But Arthur…"

"What about Arthur?" Balinor asked. He carried on cleaning Merlin up as he worked.

"He helped me, I got lost and it was confusing. He said he'd look for you. Did he find you?"

"No, son, he didn't."

"Why did the men with horses come?" Merlin asked, still distressed.

"That wasn't Arthur," Balinor said, cupping his hand to run water over Merlin's back and shoulders. "That was Uther, his father. He doesn't like people with magic, he doesn't understand it."

"Am I bad? Was that why the men came? Was that why they hurt mother?"

"No, no, you're not bad son. That wasn't your fault. None of it is your fault."

Merlin frowned, eyes rolling in their sockets as they clearly tried to work it out. Balinor finished washing Merlin and encouraged him to stand up. Merlin helped a little to dry himself down and then he got dressed in the clothes that had been left out. They were plain, but of decent material. Dark coloured trousers and a grey shirt. There were also some thick socks. Merlin pulled them on and let Balinor lead him back to the main room.

Food had been laid out, platters of meat, cheese and bread. Merlin stared at it, sitting down at the table, looking at it nervously. Balinor put a plate together for Merlin and got him to eat it. Merlin did so. He wouldn't ever not eat, he had suffered too long being starved for him to refuse food when it was offered. But his eating lacked the usual enthusiasm. He still ate without too much prompting, and Balinor took his fill as well, to encourage Merlin along.

After all that, his son looked a little better. His damp hair stuck up a little, with droplets of water glistening on the thick dark locks and his skin was pink from the hot water, although his flushed cheeks clashed dramatically with the dark circles under his eyes.

"You need to get some rest."

Balinor had no argument getting Merlin into the bed, giving him some wine to settle him down. In no time, Merlin was sleepy, but clingy. Balinor settled on the bed, running his fingers through his son's damp hair.

"I'm going to be here, I'm going to stay with you Merlin, I promise."

Merlin sniffled a little, and snuggled against Balinor. He looked relaxed enough that Balinor risked questioning him again.

"Merlin, the woman who found you, what happened to her?"

Although he was drowsy Merlin stirred, starting to cry again, his words babbling out in a rush. Most of it was incoherent but as he held onto Merlin, settling him down, until he fell asleep, one sentence came out, clearly enough for Balinor to get a rather shocking answer.

"I hurt her."


	14. P2 Chapter 2

**The sections in italics are flashbacks. Normal text is the present time. **

**And just for fun - or more likely bizarre interest - since so many people have asked me what I am doing with him - I have opened a poll to see what your opinion is on whether or not I should kill Balinor. **

Balinor tried to sleep that night. He tucked himself up in the bed with Merlin, Cyan curled up at the end of the bed and Thor settled on the back of a chair. It felt better, with them all together. That felt right, but Merlin's few coherent words plagued Balinor's mind. It whirled around with what Merlin had said about the woman who had helped him, and had come to Balinor, offering reassurance, but not, he realised, shirking away from what he needed to know.

She had hinted at what should have been between herself and Merlin, and the fact to start something new, the old had to go. It occurred to him, that he didn't even know her name. He had never thought to even ask her, all his interest had been focused on Merlin. Now he felt the deepest regret about that. Merlin had obviously liked her, and now he was close to devastated about what he had done. Not that he could judge his son for that. Whatever had happened would not have been malicious, or even deliberate, on his part.

He ran his fingers through his son's thick hair, he needed to cut it again, and would do so in the morning. For now he just brushed it back off Merlin's forehead and looked down at him as he slept. The pain and anguish was gone from his features. He looked so innocent. He was innocent. Despite all the horrors and pain he had been through Merlin still held that, it had hidden itself away, waiting for the moment it could come back. Balinor had known his son for over a year, but somehow knew him from when he was just ten years old.

Merlin had survived long enough with some of the worst horrors he could face, Balinor was sure whatever had happened between him, Nimueh and Morgause would be something else he could work past. The only thing that might be mourned was a loss of that innocence. But Merlin wasn't a child, he should have been an adult, he would have to be before this situation came to its climax.

It was nothing more now than Balinor's job to prepare him. But it was down to Merlin to dictate how long he was needed. His fate had been cheated, by something of Merlin's. Cyan's jaws had snatched him from fate and he was held now. As long as Merlin needed him, Balinor would be there.

Lying down Balinor tucked Merlin to him. Merlin huffed in his sleep, unconsciously snuggling against Balinor, as he always did. For the moment, nothing plagued his son, and after the last few days that had to be something of a relief for Merlin. It also made Balinor think, his future was secure. One way or another, his son was always going to need him.

He didn't even become aware of feeling sleepy. He just seemed to close his eyes and the next moment, when he opened them, it was light. The sun was rising in the sky and Merlin was stirring against him. Thor was perched on the balcony, preening himself, his feathers shining in the early morning sun. Cyan was still sprawled on the bed, lifting his head as he realised Balinor was awake. Merlin stirred grumpily as Balinor moved.

"Merlin, come on, time to wake up."

His son mumbled in discontent, and Balinor extracted himself, ruffling Merlin's hair before going to sift through the food that was left. He had told the serving girl to leave it, Merlin would want something to eat the moment he roused.

Merlin yelped and sat up, his eyes questing around the room until he saw Balinor.

"Breakfast Merlin," Balinor said, brining the food back to the bed. Merlin took the plate and looked around, eyes setting on things, but his gaze lingering on the living creatures in the room. Merlin started to eat and Balinor put food out for the animals before gathering something for himself. They all paused at a knock at the door.

"Come in."

"My Lord," the serving girl said as she curtseyed. "Would you require anything more?"

"Some water, and do you have a pair of scissors."

"I can certainly find some," she announced. Merlin pouted.

"Apples, I want apples," he told her. She smiled at him.

"I'll bring some."

"Merlin, don't be rude," Balinor said.

"Please," Merlin added.

Her smile widened. "We have some fresh blackberries too, I'll bring a bowl of them as well."

With that she disappeared. Balinor looked at Merlin, who hunched a little, and chewed on the bread he had in his mouth.

"I need to cut your hair," Balinor informed him. "We can do that after breakfast."

It was a good time to talk to Merlin. He had eaten, he was settled and Balinor had something to do while he gently spoke to Merlin. It made Merlin twitch his head about as Balinor cut but he still managed to cut well enough.

"Merlin, the nice lady, who was she?"

"Nimueh, she was pretty, she looked after me, and showed me magic. Then I hurt her."

"How did you hurt her Merlin, what happened? Tell me."

Merlin did.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

_Merlin found her stood outside, in the area that rippled with magic. She stood by the archway that marked the entrance to the old, crumbling building, looking out across the lake, to the boat that was travelling across. _

"_Is that father?" Merlin asked. _

"_No, Merlin," Nimueh said gently. "But they'll take you to your father. I told you that would happen. And you need to remember, even if things look bad, they're not like that." _

_She reached out to grip his wrist gently. _

"_Do you remember what I said? What we talked about?" _

_Merlin nodded, his face serious. And he looked up, stepping back a little as the blonde woman wearing clothes like Arthur wore, like the bad men had worn, walked up the slope from the lakeside towards them. Nimueh turned to walk across the uneven ground, into the old building, stopping by the altar where she stopped to wait. The new people came through the archway, the woman ahead and several black clad men followed behind her. Merlin couldn't see their faces, hidden away under their hoods. He shuffled behind the strong stone, waiting a few paces behind Nimueh, and watching as the two women paused, gazing at each other across the short space. _

"_Morgause," Nimueh said in greeting. The blonde woman smirked. _

"_I was amazed when I sensed you here. I'm surprised you had the audacity to return." _

"_All things return. They come full circle, child." _

_Morgause started to pace. "I am no child, I am a priestess of the Old Religion. You are it's betrayer." _

"_I betrayed no one. It is not my folly that caused the chaos, nor it's damnation." _

"_You know what you did. You killed so many." _

"_And you will kill more. Anger is one thing, blood fuelled hate is something else." _

"_You are weak." _

"_I am anything but," Nimueh said. "Again, you do not see. My place in this world has changed. You cannot stop what will happen, I will answer for my part in it." _

_She glanced at Merlin, who was looking from her to Morgause uncertainly. He fixed his gaze, eventually, on Nimueh who smiled at him. Merlin rubbed his hand nervously against the stone, and Cyan paced slowly into view, causing the men to draw their weapons. Merlin bit down on his lip. _

"_Cyan," he called, the wolf turned and ran to him, standing by Merlin, who put his other hand into the wolf's thick pelt. Morgause watched with narrow eyes. _

"_The boy has power." _

"_Merlin has so much, and more than you can ever comprehend." _

"_When he understands, he'll do what is right." _

"_Yes, he will." _

"_So he'll come with me." _

"_All children need guidance. Merlin needs one person for that, at least for now, and it is not you." _

_Merlin didn't understand what they meant. They were talking, but it seemed to make no sense to him. He couldn't interpret the words and the meanings that the women were placing on them. _

"_So I can take him." _

"_I doubt you'll do that, but he will go with you," Nimueh said. _

_Morgause turned to glance at the men around her. _

"_Search the buildings, see what you can find." _

_Nimueh took several, swift paces back, Merlin tensed and Cyan bared his teeth. Merlin's eyes widened as he watched the confrontation. _

"_You will not! This place is sacred!" _

"_And when do you dictate what is sacred," Morgause said. "You are not the only one with power, and you have no right to be here. That privilege was lost to you." _

"_And do you think you have any greater right. This place is deserted, lost and forgotten!" _

"_Whose fault is that?" Morgause roared, her eyes surging with gold. _

_Merlin screamed as he felt the wave, Nimueh flew backwards in the air, landing heavily, but she recovered quickly. Merlin ran forward and then stopped as Cyan dashed around him, herding him away. Merlin whimpered and looked around, unsure what to do. Nimueh stood up again, squaring her shoulders and glaring at Morgause. The corner of her mouth was bleeding, reddening her lips even more. _

"_You seek to try me?" Nimueh said. Morgause's eyes flared again and Nimueh raised her hand, batting her attack off as if she was nothing more than an irritating fly. Two of the guards crumpled under the deflected power. _

"_Do you truly believe that you have all the answers? That what you seek is as simple as that? I have spent years searching for answers, and I still do not see them complete. Resolutions have been made, and reparation is to come. And you will never comprehend." _

"_Take the boy!" Morgause snapped, waving her hand at two more of the guard. They stepped forward and Merlin back-peddled. He was now confused and frightened. Nimueh had promised that someone would come and take him to father, but this was not what he had envisioned. That somebody bad could be with his father. Merlin flinched away from the faceless man who tried to grab him and as he ducked away, Cyan struck. _

_The man screamed as the wolf's jaws latched around his throat, rumblings emanating from Cyan's throat as he pinned the man down and tore his throat to pieces. Morgause's eyes widened and she raised her hand lashing out her power towards Cyan. Without even thinking about it, Merlin lashed back, his eyes glowing gold and the magic rushed through him. Cyan yelped and ducked as the two forces clashed, sparks flying everywhere. As he dashed aside one of the guards threw a thick rope net, catching the wolf within it. For a moment it hampered the animal and it gave two of the guards time to secure the thrashing wolf. Merlin watched in shock, stepping forward, but then looking around, unsure what to do. _

"_Kill the animal!" Morgause commanded. _

_Merlin reacted instantly, giving a scream of shock and throwing himself forward over the prone wolf to protect him. The guard holding his knife hesitated, glancing to Morgause for instruction. Merlin yanked at the net to try and free Cyan, but his trembling fingers couldn't seem to manage it. He kept himself as a physical barrier between the knife and Cyan. Merlin looked around in panic, and locked eyes with Morgause. _

"_You're a bad lady!" Merlin shouted at her, his power gathering, anger borne of fear suddenly rushing through him. His eyes flashed gold and the sky above them rumbled. _

_Lightening flashed and as it lashed down towards Morgause, she raised her hand, shouting out and the attack was deflected, crashing down across the ground to where Nimueh stood _

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Balinor let Merlin sob into his chest as he brought back the memory of what he had done. There had been no sign of the sorceress, just smoke and ashes. Balinor hugged Merlin tightly, rocking him in his arms.

"It wasn't your fault son. You didn't mean to hurt her."

Balinor stayed with the euphemism, but it was clear Merlin had killed her. Something that Nimueh had accepted as her fate. Balinor had only just been getting over the shock of hearing her name when Merlin had come to that part of the tale. Balinor had never met her before their one and only encounter, but he knew the name, had heard the stories, and listened to what had been said.

Many of her own kind had reviled her, turning her into a scapegoat when the great purge had begun. Magic users throughout Camelot blamed her for Uther's actions. She was the one who had helped Uther and Igraine conceive a child, using magic, and Uther had disregarded her warnings of the balance of life.

Those who had toyed with magic at that time had little regard for the true laws of nature, Nimueh perhaps included. Except, on that occasion, the balance had been restored, Uther had gained Arthur but lost Igraine and he had turned his grief into a loathing of magic.

In some respects Uther was not wrong. People were abusing magic, taking what they could and not giving back what was required. It needed to be balanced, but Uther had instead sought to eradicate magic, blaming it for his wife's death. Balinor had been instructed carefully when it came to his gift. Control of the dragons was not something to be used casually, when they could become such powerful weapons.

He felt Merlin shake his head.

"I wanted to hurt the mean lady," Merlin said. "She made me angry."

"I know Merlin, I understand."

"And I hurt Nimueh," Merlin sobbed. "Am I bad?"

"No, Merlin, it doesn't make you bad," Balinor said. "It was just an accident, a mistake. You didn't do anything."

"But I did it!" Merlin sobbed. Balinor pushed Merlin away so he could cup his chin in his hands and he lifted Merlin's head so his son would look him in the eyes. Merlin's face was filled with an expression of deep anguish.

"I know it was your power, but Morgause could have directed it anywhere, somewhere where it wouldn't have hurt anyone. She didn't. That was her choice, to hurt Nimueh, not yours. Understand, Merlin?"

Merlin nodded slowly, his face still solemn. "I won't do it again. I don't want to be bad."

Balinor tucked Merlin close to him again, Merlin huffed in contentment as he put his head down on Balinor's shoulder.

"You're not bad Merlin."

"Gwaine said angry doesn't mean bad."

"Gwaine is right, being angry doesn't make you bad, it just makes you sometimes react to quickly. It wasn't your fault Merlin."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

_Merlin could hardly react as one of the faceless men pulled him up, grabbing him from behind, taking his upper arms roughly. He pulled him away from Cyan, who was still bound up in the net. Morgause stepped forward, between Cyan and Merlin. Merlin went deathly still, staring at her nervously. _

"_Now, if you don't want your little friend dead, you'll do as you are told." _

_Merlin's lower lip trembled and he looked down at his boots, not saying anything but his reaction and stance spoke of submission. Morgause looked at the guards. _

"_Take them across the lake, two of you remain, I wish to search the ruins." _

_Two men had, to Merlin's horror, unceremoniously dragged Cyan, bound in his net, down to the boat, with Merlin hustled along by the guard holding him. Merlin clambered into the boat and clung to Cyan, running his fingers into the thick fur as best he could, and laying his head against the wolf's. The deep huffing breaths of the angry animal were warm against his ear._

_As they pulled up, Merlin scrambled up, hauled along by one of the men until he was dumped on the lakeside. They hauled Cyan out and unceremoniously dropped the wolf into the shallow water. Cyan yipped and howled in anger, it made the guards back off and Merlin ran forward and with a strength that he could have hardly imagined he dragged the wolf up, clear of the water, clinging to him again, not caring if the animal was wet. _

_When Morgause returned, Merlin didn't resist as they worked through the net to put the collar on Cyan and tethered him to the cart. Merlin dived under the cart, huddling by the back wheel, and he peered out to watch Morgause chant, her eyes flashing and then net around Cyan disappeared. As soon as he was free the wolf dashed to Merlin, tail down between his legs and they huddled together. Merlin shivered in panic, mind filling with the memories of what others had done to him when he was captive, what they might do now. The pain and hurting things. He pressed his face into Cyan's fur, shutting out what was going on around him, but unable to stop the panic mounting in his mind. Then slowly, after the cart was loaded, it moved. Cyan had no choice but to follow it, and with his hand still latched in the wolf's fur, Merlin tottered along. _

_Every time they stopped, he had hidden away, fearful of what might happen, and Cyan joined him, a warming, protective presence. Merlin had been given food and water, but sparingly, tossed under the cart without any care where the waterskin or the food landed. Merlin shared with the wolf and Merlin clung to the things that Nimueh had told him, when they had talked. He would see father, that was all he needed to remember. Father would be there, and whatever might happen, that was all Merlin needed to know. _

_Father would make everything better. _

_Father did._

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"That went well then," Cenred said, as he sat talking to Morgause. The blonde sorceress glowered at him and he felt the rush of desire. He knew he was being manipulated, but he could do the same to her, playing a game that left them both at a standstill. She needed him, she needed the army he could bring, a muscle she could flex when she was ready. With her, he could take Camelot. Morgause had plans for her sister to take the throne, but Cenred didn't mind that. Morgana would, as queen, need to produce heirs at some point. That would require a king.

He could bide his time, but it occurred to him, he had a way to take greater control of the situation.

"The child is impossible. He's nothing more than a village idiot!" Morgause snarled.

"With a wolf and crow within his control, and he killed a very powerful sorceress."

"The Dragonlord and his child are both as base as beasts. The boy has one use, we keep him hostage, his father is a Dragonlord, and more than likely willing to do anything for his son. I could take the boy with me."

"You have, from what you say, more to concern yourself with, Morgause. Weakening Camelot still takes time, even with a traitor so close to Uther. Panic him again and the boy will turn his power on you. Only his father may hold any sway over that, separating them may not be the answer, and the child cannot stand you."

Morgause's jaw set.

"You think you can control them better."

"I can keep them contained, at least. They remain as my guests. I may be able to make them see reason," Cenred mused. Morgause smirked, huffing with laughter and looked away, looking around the bleak room. Cenred gritted his teeth.

"I can hardly do worse than you, Morgause. And Merlin might be easier to deal with if you are not here."

Morgause's head snapped back, glaring at him. Cenred looked back calmly.

"You want the dragon to wield. The other kingdoms will fall under that threat, but for that, you need the Dragonlord, he can command the beast, he can do so in an instant. If anything happens to Merlin, then he may turn the creature against you. You've seen what it did to Camelot. With a Dragonlord guiding that rage it could be catastrophic."

"And your plan will work better?"

"Why not? For now neither of them can be involved in what you want. Maybe they could be persuaded. The Dragonlord has no love for Uther. He moved against them when he went to protect Camelot from the Great Dragon. You handled the boy wrong, there is a chance I can do more than you."

Morgause's face was tense with anger, but within the hour, she was gone. Cenred mentally marked his victory. Now he just needed to find a way in to Balinor and Merlin's world.

Unseen by the musing king the bird on the window ledge turned and launched himself into the air, flying up towards the balcony above.


	15. P2 Chapter 3

Two years ago, Cenred had cleared an area of ground, creating a training field, similar to Camelot's, although less well constructed, and less used. The soldiers would train sometimes, usually when Cenred wanted to work off his anger. The area had been, decades ago, a garden created by a queen whose name Cenred couldn't recall. Flowers still tried to sprout on the training area, and they were swiftly trodden down, but the rockery that lay to the left, leading to the overgrown herb garden, had survived Cenred's attempts at change.

Balinor had found it on one of his wanderings, when he had first arrived, needing to walk, fretful about what had happened to Merlin. He had focused his unsettled attention on it, finding the herbs growing abundantly, flowers popping out randomly on the uneven ground.

They had been cooped up in the rooms for two days, since Merlin arrived, and Balinor knew he couldn't hide away, and Merlin needed to get out, the containment of the castle doing him no good. Balinor was picking though the herbs, selecting some goatweed, mint and rose hips to make a tonic for Merlin, something that would calm his moods, while he was still feeling unsettled over what had happened. Balinor was aware that Morgause had left the previous afternoon, riding out with her guards, charging off rather angrily. That had certainly helped Merlin feel better.

The Dragonlord didn't care what had occurred between the sorceress and the king. He cared about Merlin, who was now on a flat stretch of ground nearby, playing with Cyan. The soldiers who had been half-heartedly training in the nearby arena had slowly moved away, wary of the large, black wolf. Balinor just watched them, as Merlin played with his friend, giggling as he was knocked over and licked, pushing back against the big animal.

Cenred had appeared, clearly to berate the soldiers, but as he saw Merlin he waved at them in dismissal and instead moved closer to watch the wolf and the youth playing together. The king was watching with fascination. It did make for a sight, Balinor conceded. The huge bulky animal being rowdy, and yet so gentle, with his charge, as they played together.

The king rested his forearms on the rail in front of him and he watched Merlin and Cyan's play. Until they rolled a little too close and Cyan became aware of his presence. He turned and gave a rumbling growl, and Balinor watched as Cenred straightened up, although he controlled his urge to take a step back. Merlin wrapped his arms around Cyan's neck to control him, and he looked up at Cenred, a little startled and shy.

Balinor watched as there was a brief exchange between Merlin and Cenred, with Merlin glancing in his direction, as if to check his father was still there. Balinor made no secret of the fact he was watching, but he also concentrated on what he was doing, pruning some of the plants back. Merlin turned back to talk to Cenred, words which resulted in the king ducking under the rail and heading carefully towards them.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Despite daring to go closer than anyone Cenred did feel a little perturbed by Cyan's reaction. Merlin immediately grabbed him, staring up at Cenred with wide eyes, assessing him. Cyan gave another rumble.

"No," Merlin informed the wolf. Cyan tilted his head, ear cocking in Merlin's direction as he spoke, but the wolf's startling eyes stayed on Cenred. Merlin tightened his grip, looking worried.

"He won't hurt you," Merlin added.

"It's all right, Merlin, he's just looking after you," Cenred said, rather surprising himself with what he said. Merlin's face creased into a frown and he glanced in Balinor's direction. Cenred was aware of the Dragonlord fussing around in the overgrown area. He had never paid it much attention but Balinor had been gathering plants in there, passing some on to the kitchen staff, and treating a few minor aliments that some of the servants had. Out of the corner of his eye Cenred realised that Balinor was watching them, but appeared to have no need to interfere. Merlin looked back at Cenred, his innocent blue gaze assessing the king carefully.

"You can stroke him, if you like. He'll be good," Merlin said. "Cyan likes being stroked."

"All right," Cenred said. Some of the soldiers were still watching, wondering what was going on. Very cautiously he ducked under the rail and very slowly advanced. Cyan's bright eyes stayed fixed on him, and Merlin kept his arms around the wolf's neck, but there was no further sign of aggression from the animal.

"What's your name?" Merlin asked, quite blatantly, as Cenred stepped forward.

"Cenred," he replied. "I'm the king."

"Oh," Merlin said, his expression making it clear that he was not entirely sure what that was meant to mean. "I'm Merlin."

"I know that Merlin."

Merlin pondered the situation. "Are you like Arthur then? He's a prince."

"A little, a prince means you are going to be a king, one day. At the moment his father is king."

Merlin's face screwed up a little at the mention of Uther. Instead of continuing the conversation he slackened his grip on Cyan and reached to take Cenred's left wrist. The king blinked in surprise, at Merlin's forwardness but he realised what Merlin was doing as he guided Cenred's hands towards Cyan. For a moment the king had a clear vision of the beast latching onto his hand and biting him. But that didn't happen, although Cyan gave an uncertain rumble.

"Nice," Merlin said to the wolf. Cyan's ears shifted on his head and Cenred took a breath as his palm was placed close to the wolf's muzzle. Cyan inclined forward to sniff at Cenred's fingers, shuffling a little further forward and then rubbing his head against Cenred's extended hand. Merlin carefully let go of Cenred's wrist. Cenred exhaled as his fingers pressed into the fur and he rubbed Cyan's head gently.

Balinor watched the result of the exchange with increasing interest. Cenred slowly eased himself down into a crouching position and gently scratched Cyan's ear, under Merlin's direction. The one thing that Balinor did note was that Cyan didn't lick Cenred's hand, as he had done with other introductions. He had been openly affectionate to the other people he had been introduced to; Gwaine, Arthur and Lancelot. Balinor could have attested that to Merlin's reaction to them, but the Dragonlord wasn't inclined to believe it was that simple. It was as if Cyan already knew them, and knew they had a place with Merlin.

As Cenred ran his hand down Cyan's shoulder Balinor watched as Cyan turned his head, looking over at Thor, who was pecking around the rockery hunting for worms and insects. The crow paused, looking up, staring at the wolf, and then Thor gave a flap that looked almost like a shrug, before turning his head and preening the feathers under his right wing. Cyan turned his head back, moving his head to let Cenred stroke his ears again, but still, he did not lick him. Balinor wondered what that bizarre little exchange meant.

Cyan was certainly not rejecting Cenred's attention, and Merlin was watching carefully. Then the conversation between them continued on.

Cenred had ignored Merlin staring at him. Something that he would never have normally tolerated, but the open gaze held only interest, there was nothing calculating about it. Merlin's eyes were as innocent as a child's.

"You've got two swords," Merlin observed, moving his head to peer over one of Cenred's shoulders, then the other, looking at the hilts of the weapons carefully.

"Yes," Cenred said, wondering what the significance was. Merlin stared and pondered a moment before asking.

"Does that make you good and bad?"

Cenred smiled, laughing softly in mild confusion. "What?"

"Bad men have swords, but Gwaine said that good people had to have swords too, to stop the bad men. They've only got one sword, you've got two."

"Okay."

"So, are you good and bad?" Merlin repeated his question.

"I don't know Merlin. Some people might think I'm bad."

"Why?" Merlin asked.

Cenred frowned, his eyes on his hand moving through the wolf's fur, hardly daring to believe he was touching such a wild animal.

"Because kings sometimes have to do things that people don't like," Cenred told him. Merlin frowned.

"But are you good sometimes?" Merlin asked.

"I don't know," Cenred said, surprising himself with his honesty. Merlin thought about it.

"I did a bad thing, but father says I'm not bad. I'm not going to do it again."

"What was that?" Cenred asked.

Merlin chewed on his lower lip, looking a little distressed. Cyan turned his head and nuzzled his nose into Merlin's neck. Merlin wrapped his arms around the wolf and rested his chin on Cyan's back.

"I hurt Nimueh, I wanted to hurt the bad lady but instead I hurt Nimueh."

Cenred had heard the story from Morgause, who told a rather different version. The demonstration of Merlin's power had unnerved the sorceress, Cenred surmised, especially in such an uncontrolled form such as Merlin. Still, if she found it useful then she would find a way to get Merlin to cooperate. Cenred thought to himself that it might not be a terrible idea to get Merlin on his side.

"You didn't mean to do that."

Merlin shook his head.

"I got angry, I don't want to be angry again," Merlin said.

"Sometimes it's hard not to get angry. What happened wasn't your fault."

"Father said that too."

"Don't you believe him?" Cenred asked. Merlin nodded, but it was a little bit apprehensive. Then Merlin's gaze turned as Balinor interrupted them, carrying several leaves and stalks. Cenred slowly rose to his feet, Balinor bowed his head.

"Sire."

"My Lord Balinor," Cenred said.

Merlin looked up, watching the pair of them, sensing the mild animosity between the two men. Cyan gave a low rumble and rubbed his head against Merlin's shoulder.

"If you will excuse me," Cenred said. Balinor nodded, Cenred glanced down at Merlin, who gave him a shy little smile. Cenred returned it, a little tentatively before turning and walking away, ducking back under the rail of the training area.

"Come on Merlin, we need to make you your tonic, and then you can have something to eat."

"Yes, Father," Merlin said amiably, scrabbling to his feet. "Father, what do kings do?"

"Well, they look after their land and the people living there."

"How?" Merlin demanded trotting after his father as they walked away. Cenred turned to look back, Merlin was firing questions at Balinor, who was doing his best to answer them. Cenred frowned and turned away, the conversation catching on something inside him.

Once it had hooked, it didn't seem to go away.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

It was the only reason, Cenred decided, that he sought Balinor and Merlin out later that evening, just as dusk turned into night. The guards keeping tabs on them informed him that they had gone into one of the rooms on the lower floor of the castle, just below their bedchamber. Balinor had kept to the chamber he had been given, while he was alone, but with Merlin there as well he had expanded a little. No one seemed to mind where he wandered in the castle, as long he made no attempt to leave.

As Cenred let himself into the room he blinked with surprise. The fire was burning brightly and Balinor was occupying one of the chairs close to the hearth. Merlin was on the thick rug, at Balinor's feet and there were books and parchments scattered around them, while Balinor patiently taught Merlin to read and write.

Cenred had been told that the pair had paid a trip to the old forgotten library, taking away some of the papers. It didn't bother him, he never entered it. The old man that worked there just got on with it, and he had been most surprised when the infamous Dragonlord and his bright, exuberant son had paid him a visit, with Cyan and Thor in tow. He had quite happily shown the guests around, allowing them to take some things with them.

Now Merlin sat with a board and some chalk as he wrote out letters carefully and looked at what Balinor was showing him. Cenred moved closer, looking at the map that was spread out on the rug, which Balinor was using to answer some of Merlin's questions.

"See, this is Cenred's kingdom, all this part here. That's Camelot, that's where Arthur is prince, and his father Uther is king."

"How do I write Arthur?" Merlin demanded. Balinor started to help Merlin with the letters for Arthur's name, and then he glanced up in surprise. Merlin stopped writing and looked up. Balinor stood up as Cenred moved closer.

"Sire?" Balinor made it a greeting, and partly a question. Cenred nodded at him and took the second chair in the room, moving it a little closer to the fire.

"Wine, My Lord?"

"Thank you," Cenred said. Balinor got up to fill another goblet, which he passed to the king. Cyan sat up, wriggling on his belly to move closer to Cenred, sniffing at him and establishing who he was before settling back down again. Merlin had paused writing, looking from one man to the other. Cenred looked at the books and papers scattered around, and the map on the floor. Balinor took the goblet close to Merlin and refilled it with something from the second jug on the table, and then he added a little wine.

"Thank you," Merlin said, looking into the goblet, wrinkling his nose as he did so. Then he took a sip under Balinor's watchful gaze, until the Dragonlord realised he should pay attention to their new guest, who had picked up one the books to look at the spine.

"I hope it was all right, we availed ourselves of some of the archive."

"At least it's getting some use," Cenred said.

"I'm learning about kingdoms. Yours is here," Merlin told Cenred.

"Yes, I know Merlin."

Merlin peered at the map, eyes roving over it. Then he looked up at Balinor.

"Where's home?" Merlin demanded.

Balinor gave Cenred a wary look before leaning down to point at the relevant area.

"It's there, these symbols here, that means there are trees. That's where the forest is."

Merlin put his finger on the place that Balinor indicated, looking at it carefully, assessing where it was on the map. He sat back and looked up in surprise, staring at Cenred.

"That's your kingdom."

Cenred nodded. Merlin kept his finger on the map, swirling it around the area, chewing on his lower lip, considering the point.

"So you're the king who looks after us."

"I suppose Merlin," Cenred said.

"But the bad men are there too. I ran away from the bad men. You didn't stop the bad men."

Cenred frowned, Balinor saw the anger ripple over the king's face. He was not someone who was questioned, certainly in such an open manner. It wouldn't occur to Merlin to regulate what he was saying.

"Merlin, the king can't stop people being bad. People break the laws that the king makes."

"Bad men are there," Merlin said, pointing at the place on the map. "You need to stop the bad men."

"I try, Merlin, sometimes it's hard, my kingdom is very big, and there are lots of places to hide," Cenred said, needing to justify himself.

"You could get Arthur to help. Arthur would help," Merlin said very decisively. Cenred's eyes widened in surprise, and he almost choked on his wine.

"Merlin, Arthur has his own kingdom remember," Balinor said. Merlin looked up at him.

"But he would help. Arthur's nice, I like Arthur."

"I know you do son," Balinor said, reaching to pet his son's head. Merlin then frowned and looked at Cenred. Merlin's head ducked a little and he looked up at Cenred.

"I like you too," Merlin said, a little shyly.

Balinor watched as the tension eased in Cenred. He didn't want Merlin enraging him. For now their safety depended on the king, and Morgause.

"Thank you Merlin," Cenred said.

"We could ask Arthur," Merlin told him, glancing at his father as well.

"I don't think it's a simple as that, Merlin," Balinor told him.

"Why not?" Merlin asked.

"Kings don't often get on very well," Cenred said. There was an edge to his tone, and something glittering in his eyes. Balinor wondered what had occurred between the two kings. There had been a very tenuous peace between Uther and Cenred, but it had fallen apart. Balinor had always been aware of it, living where he did. The forest acted as a boarder between the two kingdoms.

"Why not?" Merlin asked again, since he wasn't getting satisfactory answers.

"Kings often don't," Cenred said.

"But Arthur's a prince."

"It doesn't make that much difference Merlin," Cenred said. "You don't like Uther either."

"He's a bad man."

"Merlin, it's not as simple as that," Balinor repeated gently. "Uther just doesn't understand some things."

"Interesting to hear you say that," Cenred said.

"I'm confused," Merlin said. Balinor ruffled his son's hair.

"You practice writing, and drink your tonic," Balinor instructed him before looking at Cenred.

"I suppose it is," Balinor said, about his feelings for Uther. Then he looked down at the top of Merlin's head. "I'm sorry, if Merlin said anything inappropriate; he doesn't really understand, and he can't help asking questions."

Cenred glanced at Merlin, who was busy concentrating on what he was doing. Then he looked up at Balinor.

"It's all right," Cenred said. "A little refreshing really. He sees the world very simply."

"If only it were that simple," Balinor said.

Cenred shrugged, and turned his head to look into the roaring fire. Merlin held up his board and showed it to Balinor.

"That's good Merlin," Balinor said.

"I like writing," Merlin said. "Could mother write?"

"Yes, Gaius showed her, when she was young," Balinor said.

Merlin frowned, looking down at the board, moving the chalk over it slowly. Then he looked up at Balinor.

"How do I write mother's name?"

"I'll show you," Balinor said.

Cenred watched for a moment. There was something very intense about Merlin's concentration as he was talked through the letters of his mother's name. The king drained the goblet and stood up. Both Balinor and Merlin looked up. Cenred gave a curt nod.

"I'll bid you goodnight."

Balinor watched him leave the room. Merlin looked up at Balinor in concern. Cyan raised his head to watch, and then again the wolf turned his head to look at Thor, who had been sitting quietly on the mantelpiece. Again the animals exchanged a long look before Thor settled down again and Cyan rested his muzzle down on his paws. Balinor ran his fingers through Merlin's hair.

"It's all right, Merlin. Time for you to go to bed, now drink your tonic."

For the time being, Balinor decided not to think about it.


	16. P2 Chapter 4

The pattern, however, became regular. Cenred would often seek them out when they settled down for the evening. And a week or so later Merlin wasn't studying, he was flicking through a book, peering at the pictures and some of the words but it was in a lazy fashion. He was a little tired, probably due to the impromptu riding lesson that Cenred had given him earlier that day.

Cenred had ridden out with some of his guard, who were patrolling the area with a little more regularity. Balinor wondered if it had something to do with Merlin's questioning. When Cenred had returned Merlin had wandered over to see him, as Cenred talked to the Captain of the guard. His sleek black horse had backed up, raising it's head as Cyan stepped a little too close. Cenred had grabbed the animal's reins and Merlin had jerked back in shock. Cyan had hovered warily and Merlin had stared at the horse in surprise.

Cenred had turned to Merlin, who shuffled nearer as the horse settled down. It was one of the king's older animals, and after the initial shock the beast settled. Merlin had stared. He was used to animals being friendly, so he couldn't quite work out the horse's reaction.

"It's all right, Merlin, Cyan just startled him," Cenred explained.

"Why?"

"Because Cyan is a predator, he eats meat. The horse knows he might be prey, he has to be ready to run away, or defend himself."

"Oh," Merlin said. "You eat meat, he doesn't run away from you."

"That's a little different Merlin, horses are used to people, and people have different relationships with animals, than animals do with each other. They rely more on instinct, than thinking about things."

Merlin frowned, he tentatively reached forward and put his hand out to the horse, letting it sniff him before he gently ran a hand over the stallion's nose. The horse exhaled heavily, but his head lowered and Merlin, gaining confidence, stepped forward to pet the animal. Cyan lingered behind him, wary of the horse's hooves.

"He's big," Merlin announced. Cenred smiled.

"That he is, and he's a good horse, I don't think he's afraid of anything. Certainly not a battle."

Merlin petted the horse's neck and lightly touched the reins. Cenred watched for a moment longer before asking.

"Have you ever ridden a horse before, Merlin?"

Merlin shook his head, eyes wide as he petted.

"Would you like to ride him?"

It made a few people in the vicinity turn their heads. They had been subtly listening to the conversation, both interested in, and understanding of, the fascination Cenred had with Merlin. Quite a few of them in the castle had become very fond of the youth, who wandered around being interested in everything, having settled down, accepting the new environment, although deep down, he still would have been happier in the forest. But he had the important things he needed in Balinor, Cyan and Thor.

Merlin stared at Cenred, and then apprehensively at the large horse, his hand moving to touch the saddle, assessing the idea of getting on. Cenred passed the reins to the captain of the guard, who took control of the horse's head, while Cenred concentrated on Merlin. Merlin gazed at Cenred with mild apprehension.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, come on, you need to put your foot in the stirrup, hold the pommel there, and I'll lift you on, just swing your other leg over, okay."

"Okay," Merlin said, still a little wide eyed. "He won't mind?"

Cenred smiled. "No, he won't mind Merlin. Put your foot in the stirrup."

Merlin stretched up to do so, giving a little gasp as Cenred boosted him up. Merlin swung his leg over and then clung onto the saddle as the horse shifted underneath him, feeling the slightly inelegant mounting, and someone who he was unfamiliar with on his back. Cenred reached to take the nearest rein and the horse settled again, ears flicking back and forth as he worked out what was going on. After glancing around for a moment Cenred had started to walk the horse out of the courtyard, Merlin looking startled as he felt the horse move underneath him.

"You need to sit up straight Merlin, and relax, don't cling so hard with your legs," Cenred advised him, turning to walk backwards for a moment, hand lightly on the rein, to assess Merlin's position, before he walked them through the archway that led to the training area, and some open space and privacy.

"It was nice of you," Balinor said, as he sat with Cenred that evening.

The king looked as embarrassed as he did when he had walked through the archway. Balinor had been in the herb garden again, and had not worried when Merlin had disappeared into the castle courtyard, on hearing the horses return, knowing that Merlin had gone to find Cenred.

"It was nothing," Cenred said to Balinor. Merlin's sleepy voice announced.

"I liked it."

Merlin hadn't seemed to at the start, he was clinging to the saddle and looking around with wide eyes as Cenred brought the horse out to an open space and let go of the reins, moving to the horse's shoulder to show Merlin how to grip the leather to guide the horse himself. Balinor watched, with some surprise. It was not something he had expected of the king. The Dragonlord wasn't stupid. Morgause was not going to get anywhere with Merlin, not after the incident with Nimueh. Cenred however, was another matter, and it could be easy enough to assume he was doing it to get Merlin on their side. With Morgause using him to get to Merlin.

Watching them then, as Cenred patiently talked Merlin through how to hold the horse and then let him control it as they walked around, Balinor had wondered. The horse plodded about steadily. It had been out on a long run that morning and didn't mind something a little gentler. Cenred didn't seem to mind talking Merlin through it, moving closer to him to help him position himself correctly. The horse sometimes turned towards him and with one small signal from Cenred the stallion moved away.

Cenred had slowly stepped back, letting Merlin steer, but Balinor noted that Cenred stayed in the stallion's line of sight at all times, and if Merlin lost direction the animal went back towards the king. Balinor felt a surge of relief realising the animal was well trained, but as he continued to watch, it occurred to him, Cenred wouldn't have put Merlin on the horse, if he hadn't had trusted the beast to carry him.

"It's one thing that seems to have worn you out," Balinor said to Merlin as he sprawled on the rug by the fire. Cenred smiled.

"He enjoyed it."

Merlin had. Gaining enough confidence to trot, and then a brief canter. Balinor looked at his very sleepy son, tucked up at his feet, not really reading the book he was toying with.

"Sit up, you need to finish your drink."

As always Merlin obeyed him. Taking his tonic and sipping at it steadily.

"Can I go riding again?" Merlin asked.

"Course you can," Cenred said.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Much to Merlin's disappointment it wasn't the next morning, as he had hoped. Cenred had disappeared off promising to be back, and Merlin had sulked in the garden as Balinor worked. The herb area and rockery were starting to look almost respectable. Some of the household staff were starting to make use of the area, now it was a little more manageable.

For the moment they were alone, there was some sound of activity in the courtyard, but it sounded very raucous. Something was happening, there had been a few arrivals that morning. Balinor had kept Merlin clear of it all, an instinct stirring in the Dragonlord that he didn't want his son near the rough looking mercenaries that had arrived. The sounds were starting to become louder, voices echoing as they entered the archway that led from the courtyard to the open space by the training ground, which was presumably where the men were heading to.

"Merlin, come here," Balinor ordered as a group of men appeared, surging towards the training area. Merlin blinked, shifting back from the shouting and bustling. He ducked behind Balinor, and the rhubarb plant that was taking over one corner of the garden.

"Come on Merlin, we'll go indoors for a while, I think we need to get away from here."

"Yes," Merlin said, peering out from the plant, looking at the group that were jostling around the training area. There were some of Cenred's soldiers there and other men, that Merlin didn't know by sight and so didn't want to be near. It was too noisy and reminded him of bad things. They looked like bad men to him, and Merlin wanted to stay away. But then Cyan, as he started to follow, paused and turned, hackles rising as the shouting increased in volume. Thor flew off to perch on the battlements, and then he hopped down onto the rail of the training area, calling out.

"Cyan!" Balinor called him to heel but Thor's shout rose over him and Cyan shot forward, towards the group. Merlin ran after him, forgetting about bad men, wanting to protect his friend. Balinor followed him, gripped by the terror of his son getting mixed up in the fight.

As he ran Balinor saw one man turn, while the others stumbled away. Cenred's soldiers had no intention of getting involved with Cyan and a few of the other men drew their swords. The one being pushed around in the middle of the melee reacted entirely differently. He used the space and moved into it, crouching down to meet the wolf, wrapping his arms around his neck, as if he knew the beast would not hurt him.

The man locked his arms and relaxed, letting Cyan take his weight. The wolf still moved forward, but even he was hampered by the excess bulk, the man also dug his heels into the ground to arrest the wolf's progress.

"Steady now!" he snapped into the wolf's ear.

Even then he wasn't entirely sure that protecting him was the wolf's intention but on turning and seeing the animal charging into the fray he had also seen Merlin running behind. Merlin would never forgive himself if anything happened to Cyan, so he had done the only thing he could to stop the wolf's run. All the men were now backing away from him, eyes wide with awe at him holding the beast. Even Cenred's men weren't quite sure what to do. No one but Merlin, Balinor and Cenred had got that close to the animal.

Merlin came in and fell on top of them, grabbing Cyan as well.

"No, no, nice!" he ordered the wolf frantically.

"I think he's all right, Merlin."

"Gwaine!" Merlin said, lifting his head and yelping in delight, grabbing Gwaine as well as Cyan.

"Hello, Merlin," Gwaine said, unable to release his grip on Cyan's neck, since Merlin's body was in the way.

"Gwaine!" Merlin said happily, again.

"Hello Merlin, and Cyan," he added as the wolf turned and licked his face. "Nice to see you too."

"Father, it's Gwaine!"

"Yes, it is."

Balinor moved in, separating the people and wolf pile where they were sprawled in the middle of the training area. The wolf growled at the clustered groups of men, all watching the scene with shock and awe.

"Cyan!" Balinor snapped, he gave a curt gesture at the same time and the wolf settled close to him, sitting down, looking up at Balinor a little apprehensively. He raised his paw and scratched at Balinor's leg in his general gesture of apology. Gwaine slowly got to his feet, dusting himself off, Merlin stayed crouched, cuddling Cyan.

"What are you doing here?" Balinor asked Gwaine.

Gwaine shrugged. "The usual. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong drink."

Balinor rolled his eyes.

"Well, well, what have we got here then?" a low voice growled. Balinor stepped forward as his son huddled against Cyan. Gwaine moved to keep Merlin behind him. Merlin gave a terrified whimper. Balinor stared at the man who moved to the centre of the group, eyeing the four of them, his gaze resting, rather unsettlingly, on Merlin.

"Who is this?" Balinor demanded, leaning towards Gwaine.

"Jarl, this is Jarl," Gwaine said and then he grabbed Balinor's arm.

"Trust me, trying to kill him won't work right now."

"I think you have something of mine," Jarl said stepping forward.

Cyan pushed his way out between Balinor and Gwaine, the wolf let out a series of low breaths before he put his head back and howled. Cyan's head dropped and then he howled again, his fur fluffed out, and he dropped his head and huffed deeply. No one was getting to Merlin.

"That little scrap is mine, as are you," Jarl said, glaring at Gwaine.

"I belong to no one, and if you want to talk about Merlin, then meet his father."

Balinor was fuming enough as it was, never mind looking the man that had done it in the first place. Then he remembered Hunith, and he remembered what Nimueh had said. It was just a silly thought in this man's mind that had changed so much. What might have happened was lost because of him. And he was suddenly there again, bringing Gwaine back into their lives.

"You wish to take my son from me?" Balinor asked. He felt Merlin's hands latching onto his clothing, clinging to him and hiding behind him. Cyan was snarling, and Gwaine stayed as close as he could, holding his ribs on one side but standing steady.

"He's my meat."

"Merlin is my son, my child. You took him, you killed his mother, and you think you can just walk in here."

"I can I…" Jarl shrugged and then was pushed away as Cenred stepped through the crowd. Jarl raised his head looking confident. Cenred however looked at Merlin, huddling behind his father.

"What is going on?" Cenred snarled. Cyan gave Cenred's voice a rumbling undertone.

"I brought you my champion. That little brat needs to be returned to me."

Merlin whimpered. There was a short pause before Cenred stepped forward, going nose to nose with Jarl. Cyan snapped his jaws and Gwaine moved slightly, to flank Cenred. Balinor stayed with Merlin, who was curled up on the floor, whimpering in fear. Cenred's soldiers shifted a little closer, hands drifting towards their weapons as the tension in the air increased. Jarl's men started to do the same. Cenred and Jarl locked eyes.

"The Dragonlord and his son are my guests," Cenred said.

"Perhaps you should get Merlin out of here," Gwaine murmured to Balinor. He tried to be as quiet as possible, but he also had to talk over Cyan's rumbling and snapping. Cenred turned, glared at Gwaine and then assessed the scene and nodded at Balinor.

"Go. My soldiers will ensure that you are safe."

"Gwaine, what about Gwaine!" Merlin howled, as Balinor wrapped his arms around Merlin and hoisted him onto his feet. Cenred glared at Gwaine but waved his hand in a gesture of dismissal. Taking advantage of that Gwaine backed up. Two of Jarl's men stepped forward.

"That is my champion," Jarl said.

"You brought him here to sell him to me, I'll take him, now I suggest we conclude our business swiftly," Cenred said coldly. The tension rippled between them as they glared at each other, Gwaine lingered for a moment longer, wondering if he should actually stay and see if he could interfere, but instead Thor launched up and swooped down over the training field. Jarl lurched back, startled by the crow. Cenred didn't so much as blink as Thor flew over, curved in the air and then flew past Gwaine towards Merlin and Balinor. Gwaine took that as a hint.

He followed Merlin and Balinor, walking at the rear, Cyan bouncing around him as Balinor practically carried Merlin away. Glancing back Gwaine met the king's eyes for a moment and then looked away.

Gwaine rubbed his ribs and gave nothing away, but he got the feeling he had just got entangled in a very complicated situation.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Gwaine ended up installed in the chambers opposite Merlin and Balinor. They had been originally set aside for Merlin, but he stayed with his father, feeling safer that way. It was the natural order for him. The maid that had been looking after Balinor and Merlin did her usual routine of setting up a bath and some clean clothing, which Gwaine was thankful for, it had been a long few weeks recently. Balinor had made no comment as he had treated Gwaine's wounds.

Gwaine now sat in the chair that was usually Cenred's, and he had moved it closer to Balinor so they could talk without Merlin hearing. He was playing with Cyan in front of the fire, the wolf making something of an effort to distract his playmate. Merlin looked a little tired and lethargic, having thrown a mild tantrum that afternoon, when Balinor had tried to give him his tonic. Merlin didn't like arguing with him, Balinor knew that, and he saw the strain that Merlin was under now.

"Are you feeling better now?" Balinor asked Gwaine.

"Much, thanks to you, again," Gwaine said, rubbing his ribs, which Balinor had treated and bound up.

"How did you end up with Jarl?"

"Exactly like I said, then he introduced himself and I tried to kill him. He threw me into the ring with his champion, he tried to kill me, I killed him and I stayed champion."

"Any particular reason he decided to bring you here?"

Gwaine shrugged. "I figured it was normal, Cenred wants fighting men, I'm that." He assessed Balinor's face carefully.

"But you don't think it's that?"

"Not with what has gone on, and what I've been told," Balinor said, his eyes straying to Merlin, who was curled up against Cyan.

"What's going on?" Gwaine asked. "How did you end up here?"

"Someone released the Great Dragon. Arthur Pendragon sought me out, and asked me to help. When I did so, Uther attacked us."

"Nice, I heard about the dragon, inflicted quite a bit of damage by all accounts."

"You heard right. There is also a traitor in Camelot, although I'm not sure who," Balinor said, and he gave Gwaine a fairly succinct run down of the events that had brought them to Cenred's castle.

"And you think I might be involved in this?"

"I won't rule it out," Balinor said. Then he paused as the door opened. Balinor was not surprised when Cenred appeared, dressed simply in trousers and a shirt, out of his battle attire. Both men saw his face flicker with anger as he looked at Gwaine lounging in the chair that was normally his. On seeing that Gwaine started to rise, he wouldn't mind sitting on the floor with Merlin. However, Cenred glanced at Merlin and gave Gwaine a dismissive wave before he went over to the youth and the wolf curled up together by the fire and Cenred settled down on the rug with them. Merlin sat up, watching him with sad eyes. The king put a gentle hand on Cyan's back, which wasn't rejected, the wolf turned and sniffed him, settling to allow Cenred to stroke him.

Gwaine watched, there was something about the set of Cenred shoulders and the tilt of his head that made him think that there was something quite possessive about the way Cenred settled himself. As if he wanted to make it quite clear to the new arrival that he had a prior claim. Gwaine could, if he wanted to, argue that point, but he probably wouldn't be able to get away with it. He wouldn't be in the position he was now if he did. It was only because Merlin had demanded, and Cenred hadn't refused.

He glanced at Balinor as Cenred talked to Merlin in a low tone. Merlin answered, looking a little apathetic as they talked. But Cenred persisted with him, and Merlin slowly started to brighten. Gwaine watched for a moment before turning to Balinor.

"So, what do you think is really going on?"


	17. P2 Chapter 5

"Are you all right Merlin," Cenred asked, as he settled down by the fire. He had felt irritable all afternoon, not wanting to deal with the situation. It had never really bothered him, Jarl's activities, but something in the way Merlin reacted stirred him. It reminded Cenred of that first conversation he had had with Merlin, when Merlin had asked if he was good and bad. The more he considered that question, when he thought about his actions, it occurred to him he was more bad than good.

Merlin now nodded, staring at Cenred with wide eyes. There were a myriad of questions in Merlin's steady blue gaze, but he didn't look too ready to start asking them, which was something of an unusual thing for Merlin.

"I'm sorry about today Merlin," Cenred said. "Was Jarl one of the bad men you talked about?"

Merlin nodded enthusiastically. "He broke mother, and he hurt me, so did the other bad men. Why didn't you stop them?"

"I did today, and the bad men aren't going to do anything to you, not any more, I won't let them Merlin."

Merlin put his head down and thought about that. "They were going to hurt Gwaine."

Cenred's eyes moved towards the person now talking to Balinor. "I didn't let that happen either."

"No," Merlin mused. He frowned, thinking about the situation. Then he looked up at Cenred. "Did you know the bad men before?"

Cenred glanced at Merlin, his mind calculating how much he really wanted to tell the youth. There was something very serious in Merlin's eyes, enhancing his usual innocence. It was just the faintest trace of a deeper part, a section of Merlin that was, perhaps, a little more mature than the rest of him. Cenred watched it, seeing it clearly for the first time. A part of Merlin that was slowly unfurling. It was probably a part of Merlin that shouldn't be lied to, because when it discovered the truth, it wouldn't forgive so easily.

"Yes, I did Merlin. And I knew they were bad men," Cenred said. He watched both parts of Merlin react. The surface part bit down on his lip and looked upset, the deeper part seemed to accept what he was saying. Cenred didn't exactly feel a need to justify his position, but he certainly wanted to explain it. Cyan rolled onto his side, huffing as he settled down.

"I think sometimes I'm more bad than good. Maybe I use my bad sword more than my good."

Merlin pondered that.

"Why didn't you stop the bad men? They hurt people. They hurt Mother."

"How old were you?"

Merlin's eyes shifted to look at Balinor. He could only talk about the bad things if there was something to comfort him. Assured by Balinor's presence and by putting his head down on Cyan's side, using him as a pillow, Merlin said.

"Ten."

"I wouldn't have even been king then."

Merlin shifted his head and rolled his eyes up to look at Cenred. "Were you a prince, like Arthur?"

"No, I wasn't, Merlin," Cenred said.

"He's not quite what I expected," Gwaine murmured to Balinor, as they both watched the conversation occurring on the rug, while conducting their own murmured discussion.

"Don't be fooled, he probably also is as you would expect, there is a good possibility that he is only doing this because Morgause needs Merlin on her side. She's using Cenred anyway, I don't think one more use will matter."

"Strikes me, Cenred seems to know his own mind, and in helping take Camelot he would have his own agenda, surely."

"Quite possibly, he doesn't appear to have any love for the Pendragons and if he helps Morgause take Camelot, however she decides to achieve it, there are bound to be rewards to it."

"I think he'd just like to see an end to Uther, they have only met once as far as I know, and once appeared to be enough," Gwaine said. "If the stories are true."

"How so?"

"This is Uther Pendragon, I've only met him twice, both of which I was in chains. I wouldn't have been if I had told him about my father's connections. In some respects if the rumours I've heard are true, I can understand Cenred's dislike."

"How so?"

"You don't know why the peace between Cenred and Uther broke down?"

"I don't often hear a great deal of news. It's always been a little tenuous between them. The old king before Cenred didn't really pay much attention to what was going on around him."

"He spent the last ten years of his reign completely senile, there was no control over any part of the kingdom, and there was no legitimate heir. Cenred just ended up wiping out his competition, most of that by accident."

"How do you know so much about it?" Balinor asked. Gwaine shrugged.

"I've travelled around a lot, and around a lot of taverns, the people in them like to gossip. Some of it's contradictory, but a lot of it all runs in a similar vein of truth."

Balinor smirked a little. "For most of the last two decades, I never stayed long enough in the town to really get much information."

"You were aware enough to avoid most of the men when they travelled through the forest."

"Not many venture that deep in, and yes, I picked up enough gossip when I went to trade in the nearest village. The only thing I knew of Cenred was that he had taken the throne. Some people didn't actually think it was a bad thing, rather than the minor relatives that had been hanging around the king. Most of them had been doing the work, as long as it did them some good."

"The old man could hardly dress himself. From what I heard all the various branches of the family tree, however distant, were happy to work together, until the king died. Then they needed to find one person to take the throne," Gwaine said. "Not a single one of them really had a full claim. Cenred just controlled so much of the region, he had his hand in a few things, and controlled a good deal of the trade routes. What he never really gained access to were the regions closest to Camelot. The initial peace treaty allowed Camelot's patrols over the boarder, it meant they didn't need to worry about looking after it."

"Which was why he took the throne," Balinor concluded.

"Apparently he rode to the castle with some of his mercenaries and depending on who you listen to, killed anyone vaguely related to him, scared them off, killed some and scared some off, or turned them into his servants."

"I doubt the last one."

"He moved some of the children, kept some here, to keep the cousins that were alive under control. And one of the kingdoms most successful mercenaries took the throne."

"And then perhaps discovered it wasn't as simple as it seemed," Balinor said.

"Maybe, most people learnt the lesson early on, do as you are told or get killed. Any areas that were of no interest to him he ignored."

Balinor took a sharp breath. "I know that."

"And this relates to what this vision of a sorceress told you?" Gwaine said, leaning forward.

"I know all this talk of destiny sounds bizarre."

"Sometimes it makes sense," Gwaine said. "Now and again it can be used to justify some of the worst things that can happen."

"Which is what happened to Merlin," Balinor said. "And I can't help but accept it. I saw what Uther did, during the great purge."

"Another thing I've heard stories about," Gwaine said. Balinor assessed him for a moment.

"But you've never heard the name Nimueh before?" Balinor asked. Gwaine shook his head.

"Not until you mentioned it, no."

"Which means, you don't truly know the heart of that story, and maybe it's not so strange to think that Merlin's destiny lies with Arthur's."

Merlin was aware of Balinor and Gwaine talking intently, but that was fine, Merlin felt happy with Gwaine there as well. Their presence registered in the corner of his mind as he concentrated on his own conversation with Cenred.

"Did you decide to be king then?" Merlin asked.

"Something like that," Cenred said.

"Will Arthur decide?"

"No, he's Uther's son, it means it's his birthright, and Uther will train him to be king."

"Will Arthur turn bad?" Merlin asked. "Uther's bad, he tried to hurt father, and me. Why would he do that?"

"I think your father is right, it's complicated. A good many people think Uther is bad as well."

"Is bad," Merlin agreed. "Tried to hurt father."

"That's because Uther thinks anyone who uses magic is bad," Cenred said. It made Merlin look worried, his eyes darkening, but again Cenred saw something else. That gentle unfurling of what Merlin would be, could be. He was learning a lot, in a short time. Cenred guessed the beginning part of Merlin's life had been sheltered, and then had come the bad men who had so badly abused him, and then Balinor had slowly started to reconstruct him. It was the events now, what was happening around Merlin that was causing the shift in him.

"Why? Not bad. I'm not bad, am I?"

"No, Merlin, you're not. It's like people with swords, they can be good and bad, or both if you have two swords."

"Perhaps you should get rid of the bad one," Merlin suggested. Cenred smiled at him.

"It's not the swords. The swords are just well made shapes of metal. What makes them good or bad are the people holding them. That's why good people can have swords to. Magic is the same, people can use it, they can be bad, or they can be good."

"I healed Thor," Merlin pointed up to the bird, who was roosting in the rafters of the room. He hopped from one beam to another, looking down at the people in the room. Balinor and Gwaine paused, glancing over at the other pair, but then Merlin and Cenred resumed their conversation, too low for them to hear.

"Yes, and that was good."

"Then I hurt Nimueh, that was bad. I won't be bad again."

"Sometimes good people have to do bad things," Cenred said. "It doesn't make you bad."

Merlin nodded. "Why does Uther think people with magic are bad?"

"That's a long story Merlin," Cenred said. Merlin gazed at him expectantly, and after a moment Cenred realised that Merlin was waiting for him to explain. Again that flicker of something deeper within Merlin came almost to the surface. It wanted to know. Cenred shrugged, settling down next to Cyan. Merlin shifted his head, still using the wolf as a pillow.

"When Uther became king, it was very important to him to have an heir, someone who could be king after him."

"Arthur?"

"Yes, that was Arthur, although he wasn't born then, and there was something wrong, Uther's wife couldn't get pregnant. Like your mother did with you," Cenred added, as Merlin looked confused.

"Oh, why not?"

"I don't know, Uther wanted a son, and in the end he asked a sorceress, Nimueh, to help him."

Merlin's frown deepened, but he didn't interrupt.

"Nimueh said she would help, but there had to be a price, magic has to balance, if she used magical energy to create a life, then a life had to be given in return. That's how it works."

"Does it?"

Cenred nodded. "Magic uses energy, it has to come from somewhere, and has to be given back."

Merlin continued to frown, and then he nodded. "Like the other wolf, she was dead and father said it would be bad to bring her back, but helping Thor was all right."

"No, you couldn't have brought the wolf back, you would have had to use all your energy, and you would have died."

"That's bad," Merlin said.

"Yes, it would have been bad Merlin," Cenred said. "But Uther didn't listen to the warnings, and when Arthur was born, to restore the balance Arthur's mother died."

Merlin looked startled, and then sympathetic. "Poor Arthur."

"Yes," Cenred said, without a great deal of sympathy. "And it made Uther angry, and he was upset, so he took it out on anyone who used magic, and executed those who continued to practice. That's why he locked away the dragon, and why he attacked you when your father went to help."

"But father helped them."

"That doesn't matter, Uther doesn't care. He'll hurt anyone he thinks is using magic, even if they're not."

"He's a bad man," Merlin said.

"That's why Morgause wants to stop him."

Merlin blinked and raised his head a little. "She's a bad lady."

Cenred looked at Merlin steadily, seeing the confusion in his blue eyes, the innocence in them falling away. It made the king wince, and he wasn't sure why. He had his own reasons for wanting to get back at Uther, and he hadn't really cared how he achieved it.

Until now.

"Merlin said Arthur rescued him?" Gwaine asked.

"Apparently so," Balinor said. "He had no real reason to."

"As much as I hate to say it, Arthur is much better than his father. He sees what's right. When Uther ordered me executed Arthur stood up for me."

"What did you do?"

"Saved Arthur's life."

"That sounds along the right lines of Uther's gratitude," Balinor snarled.

"You don't like him very much, why are you so bothered if Morgause takes him down."

"I don't suppose I am, but I don't want Merlin involved."

"From what you're saying he might well be. He could be the one person that stops this."

"It's too much for him. Some force in this world made that slaver change direction in a bid to prevent Merlin from becoming what he is destined to be. Who's to say it won't happen again?"

"Maybe it did try again, Uther went out to attack you, even though you were trying to help. This entire battle could be happening around us, without us seeing it."

"That is not a comforting thought Gwaine."

"Do you think that's why I'm here now, because I'm involved in this?"

"Maybe," Balinor said. "I managed to cheat my own fate, if that really was true."

"What Nimueh told you," Gwaine said. "Which could be a device to make you believe one thing, and the reality is something else."

"I believe her. She released the dragon for the purpose of bringing Arthur to Merlin."

"Which worked out well," Gwaine remarked cynically. "What do you think his involvement is?"

Gwaine nodded discreetly at Cenred, still sat talking to Merlin, with Merlin sprawled on the floor, resting on Cyan and listening to what Cenred was saying with interest.

"I don't know. He's useful to Morgause, for the moment."

"So are you and Merlin. Where do I fit in?"

"I think I was wrong when I told Merlin he couldn't keep you. Merlin is the lynchpin to this, and it would be very ironic if the destiny of a warlock lies with the king of Camelot."

"And I'm along for the ride," Gwaine said. He glanced at Merlin, who had brightened a little at whatever Cenred was saying. "I'll look after Merlin, and you, you know that."

Balinor smiled, "It depends on what Morgause has planned, and who she deems useful to her cause. Looking after Merlin might involve looking after a few other people. If she's out to take Camelot, she'll need to take out Arthur, for that she'll need an army."

Gwaine glanced in Merlin and Cenred's direction. "And for that she needs Cenred."

"Why do I get the feeling," Gwaine said, "that I've just become a bodyguard?"

"If it's any consolation, I don't think fate has given you any choice in the matter."


	18. P2 Chapter 6

Merlin was giggling as he pulled the huge black warhorse to a halt. Cenred's mare pranced a little ahead, until he turned her back to Merlin, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Having fun?" Cenred asked.

Merlin nodded. "I like riding."

"You, Merlin, seem to like almost everything," Cenred said, turning the mare again and he trotted her along while a giggling Merlin cantered past him, riding down the track over the moor. The mare upped her pace to keep up with the big black gelding.

Behind them Gwaine and Balinor kept their horses at a steadier pace, some of the accompanying soldiers staying with them while others picked up pace to stay with Cenred and Merlin. Both of them watched as Merlin and Cenred slowed back to walk, following the path as it dipped down the hill, heading back towards the castle. In the long grass around them Cyan streaked about, leaping with excitement. The horses had long ago stopped feeling nervous of the wolf, and simply accepted his presence.

Gwaine glanced at Balinor.

"Still thinking that Cenred is doing this just for Morgause?"

"I'd like to think not," Balinor said. "I won't deny that he has been very kind to Merlin."

"I'd say more than that. I think he likes him. You heard Merlin the other day. Cenred listened to what he was saying. I think he's being more than kind. I know what Cenred is thinking."

"Do you?"

"Yes, a little," Gwaine said. The horses jogged down a slope and then walked up the incline. Gwaine looked around, taking in the sights around him but mainly seeing Merlin.

"Having someone believe in you is a good feeling. I get that and it makes you want to please them. In this case, there could be an element of destiny fiddling. Nimueh said that Jarl was influenced to change direction."

"Are you suggesting that similar forces are doing the same to Cenred?"

"It's a possibility, I'm inclined to also think that Nimueh hasn't exactly gone. She told you she needed someone of equal or greater power to destroy her, maybe it's not as simple as that."

Balinor frowned at Gwaine. Gwaine had noticed that. When it came to a discussion about destiny and Merlin it put the Dragonlord into a bad mood. Gwaine couldn't blame him, he was protective of Merlin, and Merlin deserved it. The only problem was, it had been a very prominent topic of conversation, and the Dragonlord had done a great deal of brooding.

"You think she could be the influence?"

"She told you forces were moving in the dark, why couldn't she be one of them? Perhaps that was why she was doing this, her own reasons could be selfish."

Balinor said nothing, eyes on Merlin, then he looked beyond to the castle, and two people lingering around the archway that led into the main courtyard.

"What?" Gwaine asked.

"Blood Guard," Balinor said. "Morgause is back."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

She was waiting for them and rather unhappy to find that Cenred was off riding around the countryside when she arrived. Morgause was even less impressed when Cenred thundered into the courtyard with Merlin and Balinor, and a stranger. She stalked over to him as he dismounted.

"Cenred," she snapped.

"Morgause."

The king handed the reins to a nearby guard, and the others slowly dismounted. Merlin backed up towards his father and Gwaine. Cyan gave a rumble, but he also moved closer to Balinor, having learnt that he wasn't to attack anyone here, even if he didn't like them. Gwaine reached out and put a hand on Cyan's head.

"Easy."

Morgause glared at him, looking him up and down and obviously trying to work out how he fitted in. Gwaine looked back, assessing her carefully, knowing this to be the bad woman that Merlin didn't like. There wasn't really anything significantly dislikeable about her on the face of it, except her eyes were cold.

"Keeping busy?" she snapped at Cenred.

"I have a kingdom to run," he told her, meeting her glare. The tension in the courtyard went up a notch and Merlin looked at Balinor uncertainly. Gwaine took over.

"Come on Merlin, why don't we help untack the horses," he suggested. Merlin glanced at him and then nodded, reaching to take the reins of the gelding from the soldier holding them. Morgause again sent a glare in Gwaine's direction. If she could kill with a look, Gwaine decided he would be dead about ten times over. He paid her no attention, and Balinor, also not wanting Merlin in this confrontation started to herd Merlin away. Cenred also felt that he didn't want Merlin anywhere near Morgause. He passed the reins of his mare to a nearby guard.

"Shall we go inside if you have something you wish to discuss, Morgause?"

She looked a little unimpressed but turned and stalked into the castle with Cenred directly behind her. Some of his guards followed behind, lingering around the Blood Guard that were with Morgause. He took her through to the ante chamber of the throne room, where they stared at each other.

"What are you doing letting them have a free rein?"

"It's hardly free, they are surrounded by guards at all time. You wanted Merlin on your side, give me enough time and I can get there. It would help if you at least tried to show some remorse about what happened on the Isle of the Blessed."

Morgause raised her eyebrows, and then smirked. Cenred had started pacing but he paused, tilting his head and frowning as he read her expression.

"I don't need time anymore, we can move on Camelot without hesitation. A few things of interest have come to light, and my inside source is ready."

"How so?" Cenred asked, his interest piqued by her manner and confidence. Morgause lifted the black cloth bag she was holding and opening the drawstring produced a cup. Cenred watched as she placed it onto the table, and he gave a shrug.

"What's that?"

"The Cup of Life," she said. Cenred raised his eyebrows.

"And that does what exactly?"

"It has the ability to bring people back from the death, as long as a life is given in return."

Cenred shrugged, folding his arms across his chest. "And what use is that?"

Morgause paced around the table towards him, her movement almost feline as she eased her way towards him. Cenred felt himself react to the sight of her. Part of him knew she was doing it on purpose so she could get him to do what she wanted. However, a good part of Cenred didn't really care that he was being manipulated. She was offering him something he wanted. When she had first come to him, after the treaty with Camelot had slowly started to break down, it had seemed a very promising partnership.

"It has rather an important use if you are dying," Morgause said.

"I still fail to see the relevance Morgause."

She moved even closer to him, brushing against him. He caught the scent of her hair and felt his body stir at the light pressure. Morgause looked up at him smugly, the corners of her mouth quirking up in a smile. She moved past him, pushing against his chest with her shoulder as she paced behind him and round the table. His eyes followed her, and she eventually looked up, looking almost demure as her hand moved across the table towards the cup.

"There is the other side to the magic," Morgause said slowly. She looked down at the cup and then lifted her eyes to look at Cenred again, running her finger around the rim of the goblet. "One drop of blood placed into the cup will turn someone immortal."

Cenred raised his eyebrows. "That could be useful," he conceded. Morgause smiled.

"Especially if you gave an army the opportunity for such a thing. They would be unstoppable, nothing would be able to hold against them, no kingdom would be a match for their force."

He gave a slight smile. "You mean you want my army, and you want me to attack Camelot."

"Don't you?" Morgause asked.

"And who would take the throne?"

"Morgana of course, she is Uther's ward," Morgause eyed Cenred steadily. "Actually, she might be more than that."

"How so?"

"Many people have a grudge against Uther, and they don't just attack him, they use others to get to him." Morgause's voice lowered, anger starting to seep into her tone. Cenred waited, listening patiently, watching as Morgause's eyes flashed with fury.

"They used Morgana. Uther cares for her," Morgause spat. "The enchantment they used would have been fatal, but Morgana was listening, she heard Uther, what he told Gaius. Morgana is his daughter. She has a claim to the throne."

"Not as long as Arthur is alive."

"That can easily be remedied," Morgause said. Cenred raised his eyebrows.

"Only if you have my army," he told her. She glared at him in irritation. "What happened to the sorcerer who attacked her?"

Her glare deepened, which answered the question.

"No one touches one of my own," Morgause snapped. Cenred shrugged and stepped closer to the table, picking up the cup and turning it over in his hands.

"It doesn't look like much."

"Oh, but it is," she said, snatching it back. "We need nothing else to take Camelot."

Morgause smiled, she knew she had caught him, with the simple use of the word 'we'.

"So you make my men immortal, and we take down Uther. Then what?"

"We carry on."

"How? Even immortal an army only goes so far."

"We make another army, and we have a Dragonlord, who will do anything to protect his son."

Cenred's eyes flickered, only for a moment and he controlled himself. He clenched his jaw and turned to the nearby guard.

"Confine the Dragonlord and his child to their chambers."


	19. P2 Chapter 7

Cenred rode his horse, not at the head of his army but in the middle, trapped under heavy guard. He still rode the mare that he had been breaking in, and he was dressed for battle, but he no longer had his swords, both of them had been taken from him. His gaze settled on the rider in front of him. Merlin's slim shoulders were tense, he had been unhappy since Cenred had allowed Morgause a free rein with his army. It was only Merlin's intervention that had saved Cenred's life, when she had commanded one of his own men to kill him.

He should have known. Of course he had known it - that Morgause would turn - but even then he couldn't resist her. The fact that she had taken action the second the army had been made immortal was something of a blow. He could do nothing, he was just lingering on the whim of others. One of whom that could have reassured him was lost, upset and hurt, but he had still rushed to defend him. Merlin had sent his would-be killer flying across the room, pitting himself against Morgause. She still didn't want to lose the use of the Dragonlord, or Merlin, so Cenred was alive.

That didn't mean that he couldn't salvage the situation. Cenred glanced around, he knew the men around him, that were guarding him, that Morgause now led, heading towards Camelot. They were marching to a certain victory and it made Cenred want to lash out. He could stop them, he could do something, they were his men.

"I really wouldn't bother," Gwaine drawled.

He was riding next to Cenred, also contained within the group, quite willing to accept the fact that he was nothing more than a pawn. Merlin wanted him there, he was an expendable commodity. Neither Balinor nor Merlin would put them in danger. Cenred glared at Gwaine who looked back and shrugged.

"I wouldn't, they're immortal, and you're not. They don't even need to kill you, they can just take you down by force of numbers. Don't bother."

"So we just sit here," Cenred hissed. His eyes moved to Merlin's back as he tensed even more. Balinor was riding next to his son, and he turned to soothe him as he realised Merlin was riling. He was upset and confused and so many other things it was hard to work out which emotion was worse for the youth.

"For now, that's about it. If you want to make Merlin feel better, admit your mistake. He'll accept it."

"Merlin is nothing to do with it, I don't care about Merlin!"

Gwaine winced and Cenred closed his eyes for a moment. Merlin had heard that.

"You don't mean that," Gwaine said, so Merlin could hear him. "No one is blind enough to believe that, he's riding one of your best horses, if nothing else. Just stop thinking with your damn sword, if for no other reason than the fact you don't have one."

"I'm neither good nor bad," Cenred said with seething humour.

"Oh?"

"Merlin asked me, since I had two swords, if I was good and bad. Now I don't have either."

"Not such a bad thing," Gwaine said. "Think about it."

"How can you be so damn calm?"

Gwaine shrugged. "I know when there are fights I can win, and I know when I'll lose. I'm one for getting involved when there are bad odds, I love a good fight. This, however, is not a good fight; leave it alone, for now there is nothing we can do."

"And you think that's my fault?"

"I don't hate to say I told you so," Gwaine said. "I'm telling you. Told you so."

"You never told me anything," Cenred snapped at him.

"Settle down," Gwaine said almost jovially as Merlin turned round, and the guards around them started to watch them with greater intensity. "There is nothing we can do, they are immortal, we're not, nor is Morgause."

"You think we are ever going to get close to her?" Cenred snapped. A few of the guards turned in his direction. Gwaine shrugged, behaving as if he was unaware of the scrutiny.

"I don't think it matters," Gwaine said. "Look at her, she's a megalomaniac."

Cenred said nothing, looking serious but keeping his face as neutral as possible so he didn't openly display his ignorance of the word that Gwaine had just used. It didn't matter that Gwaine already realised that Cenred had no clue, because he wasn't talking to the king, not really, only in the fact he needed to get the point across. As they had talked their voices had risen.

"She's made so many people immortal, she's a sorceress chasing power, but she hasn't done that to herself, she's not made herself immortal," Gwaine said. He turned and looked at Cenred. "It makes you wonder, what's the downside?"

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Cenred sat in his tent debating that. He understood Gwaine's tactic, doubt. He had put doubt into the men's minds, just that part of them not connected to the cup of life. Or maybe it was connected, to the part of it that demanded a sacrifice for it to work. Gwaine had brought up a very pertinent point, one that hadn't actually occurred to Cenred. Morgause had not used the cup on herself, she had used it on his army, they were unstoppable, they could be stabbed in the heart and not even bleed, Cenred had seen that. He had tried to kill the man ordered to slaughter him. None of them had questioned the gift they had been given, until Gwaine had inserted that chink into the armour.

Cenred knew the men talked, anyone who was a leader knew that. It was why he had always been careful to never show weakness, to always make a decision without hesitation, even though many of the ones he had made as king had been wrong. He had never been able to avoid the feeling that he just wasn't able to be king. It was not something he had thought about when he had taken power, using it to his advantage, and finding there were so many more disadvantages.

Now he wasn't king, he wasn't anything. He poured himself some wine and sat down, sipping the drink slowly. The only use he had was as a hostage. Merlin, Gwaine and Balinor were somewhere else in the camp, Morgause had deliberately removed him from them, to make sure that Merlin didn't try anything. Balinor and Gwaine would remain calm. They were doing exactly that, and simply waiting. Neither of them would do anything rash, the only loose cannon was Merlin, with his magic, his overly childlike outlook and his moral beliefs. They were so simple and yet so complicated, and very often contradictory. Yet somehow they still seemed to have more sense to them than anything Cenred had encountered.

Morgause was trying to antagonise him, with the same gesture. He was, in her eyes, a pawn to be shuffled about at her whim, and had been from the very start. Still, there was an element to it that soothed Cenred's antagonistic feelings. Morgause was no longer sure of him. She couldn't guarantee that his animosity towards Camelot and Uther was driving him, even if he did still hate the King of Camelot. An animosity that had been created from the one and only time they had met, and Cenred had known Uther was looking down at him. He was not royalty, he had just managed to grab hold of the power, and he had kept it anyway he could.

He told himself it hadn't bothered him, but decades of peace had broken down because of it. The boarder between the two kingdoms had become shaky at best, patrols clashing when they crossed over, even if the action wasn't deliberate. Cenred, however, hadn't really cared, he was a king, he controlled the area, and then Morgause had come to him, an ally against Uther, offering so much more. But it was all for her own ends, she wanted Uther to suffer, she had her own agenda and she made sure that it worked with Cenred's. There wasn't a trick that Morgause hadn't used to persuade him, even her own body when she needed to. Cenred hadn't been so delusional to think that Morgause really felt anything for him, the only problem was what he felt back.

And then Merlin and Balinor had come along.

Morgause had been more than pleased when Morgana had given her word of Balinor's existence. The dragon attacking Camelot had confused her, Cenred had thought that perhaps Morgause had released it. It would have been a clever move, but she had shaken her head.

"The dragon can be controlled only by a Dragonlord, but Uther wiped them out," she had snarled. "What would be the use of unleashing it? Camelot is no use to me as rubble."

Then Morgana had told her, there could be one, and he had arrived at Camelot. For twenty years they had been almost forgotten, men of a nobility and power that had never been misused. She had thought it would be simple to gain his trust, to work with him, using the dragon, to take down Camelot.

She had clearly not taken into account the nature of the man she was dealing with. Balinor carried everything that a Dragonlord was within him. Cenred knew the stories too, and Balinor fitted with that knowledge. Further problems lay in Merlin's existence. The next Dragonlord, and a powerful warlock. He wasn't just able to use magic, he was a creature of it.

Even now, Cenred was not sure what to make of Merlin. The youth had spoke and acted around him like no one else ever had. It was Merlin's nature, and Cenred had thought to capitalise on that. Morgause had ruined her chance, but Cenred thought it wasn't just that. There wasn't just the fact that she had handled Merlin wrong, her own feelings were getting the better of her. She was a powerful sorceress, there was no denying that, but she had gone through years of training, and study. For her to use magic she had to tap into the source and manipulate it, there were restrictions upon her. Merlin seemed to have none, and Cenred got the feeling that Morgause was jealous of that.

Even now, somehow, Merlin retained the advantage. The problem was, Cenred decided, Merlin didn't damn well know it.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

And despite the fact he was still upset and hurt by Cenred's behaviour towards him, Merlin naturally was concerned. Especially since he couldn't keep an eye on him.

"Will he be all right?" Merlin asked Gwaine, who was encouraging Merlin to have something to eat.

"Yes, this is how it works, if we are good then Morgause will look after him, and we'll see him in the morning."

"Promise?"

"Yes, Merlin, I promise, now come on, eat your stew, you need to make sure you stay strong, so your father doesn't worry about you."

Merlin looked up at Balinor. He smiled down at his son and sat down with them.

"Come on Merlin, you need to eat your supper."

Everyone else was eating, Cyan also taking his own food. So Merlin did as he was told. It wasn't hard to ever get Merlin to eat but Balinor could always tell when Merlin was just eating for the sake of it, because he knew what it was like to be starved and he didn't want it to happen to him again. Most of the time he was enthusiastic about it, but when he was upset his eating habits were lacklustre to say the least.

"Why does it work like that?" Merlin asked, looking at Gwaine. Gwaine glanced at Balinor, so Merlin's eyes shifted to his father, and then back to Gwaine. Gwaine thought about it.

"Well, because Morgause needs to make sure we do as she tells us, that means she'll keep Cenred away from us."

"But she tried to hurt him!" Merlin growled, sounding furious.

"Yes, but she won't now. If we do something bad, then she will hurt him, and if she does hurt him, she knows that you'll do something."

Merlin nodded, his eyes were blazing with anger. Gwaine felt a shiver of apprehension, something was growing inside Merlin. He had been kept isolated by Balinor, and Merlin had, in that time grown into someone who was quite capable of looking after himself in quite a practical sense. Now he was teeming with emotions that he couldn't really work out, without someone to help him. And at that moment there was a danger that Merlin could, inadvertently, turn into someone like Morgause.

"That is not the way to deal with this, by getting angry, okay Merlin."

The anger faded from Merlin's eyes, a shred of apprehension appeared instead.

"How do good people stop bad people?" Merlin asked.

"That's a complicated one," Gwaine said. "Sometimes you have to use your sword. I had to, to protect Arthur."

Merlin brightened at the mention of Arthur. "That's good, I like Arthur. He helped me get away from the bad men."

"Yeah, well, those men aren't really bad, they just protect Camelot, and the king, and Arthur, and all the people that live there. Which is important, but Arthur knew that them hurting you wasn't right, but it wasn't right for him to hurt them either."

Merlin nodded. "I didn't do anything."

"The rule in Camelot is that you can't do magic, so that's why they were chasing you. They think magic is bad."

"It's not," Merlin said.

"No, it's not, that depends on what the person using it does. Arthur didn't think you were bad, so he helped you get away, so no one got hurt."

"That's good."

"But when I helped Arthur, there were some bad people who were going to hurt him. They had used magic to disguise themselves, and pretend to be knights, so they could get close to Arthur to hurt him," Gwaine said, giving a short run down of the incident.

"Now in the fight, I had to stop them, so I killed them, to protect Arthur."

"But you hurt someone, a bad someone."

"Yes."

"So that was… good," Merlin said, a little hesitantly.

"Sort of, but you don't want to think that killing someone is the only way to solve a problem. Arthur didn't think that when he helped you get away. He didn't want anyone to get hurt."

Merlin listened, a serious expression on his face. Balinor was listening just as intently, understanding the importance of the conversation. That Merlin might use it to guide his own moral beliefs when it came to what might need to be done to salvage the situation, if that was at all possible.

"It's hard," Merlin said in conclusion.

"Yes, Merlin, it's very hard, sometimes you have to make a judgement, a decision on what you should do, on what is good and bad to do. Uther did that when he banned magic, in some ways it was good, people were using it for bad reasons, but not everyone does that. Some people use it for good things, like healing people and protecting them."

"So he hurt the good people too. Cenred said he was angry, because of what happened to Arthur's mother," Merlin said.

Gwaine raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Yeah, he let his emotions get in the way of a decision. An important decision. Those are the times when important things can happen. When you sometimes have to decide what to do, and how to act."

"It's confusing."

"It is," Gwaine agreed. "If we attack Camelot, then lots of innocent people will be hurt, not just the soldiers but the people that live there, that work there. They're nothing to do with the fight, but they'll be in the way and they'll get hurt."

"That's bad."

"But on the other hand, they live in a kingdom that kills people for having magic, most of them are so used to it, they don't always think about it when someone is executed. That's why Morgause thinks they are bad, all of them."

Merlin frowned, it was quite obvious to Gwaine that it was confusing Merlin, but Gwaine needed to get him to think about it. Balinor hadn't interrupted the conversation, so he clearly didn't think Gwaine was saying anything inappropriate to Merlin. Merlin chewed on his lower lip, continuing to think it through.

"So they're not bad, but Morgause thinks they are. Like Arthur. She thinks Arthur's bad," Merlin concluded.

"Yes, but Arthur isn't bad. Sometimes he has to be unpopular though. He'll have to make hard decisions, like his father he may have to choose what is best for a big number of people, but that might make a small number of people not like him. Something he has to do to look after the kingdom may hurt some of them, but Arthur won't mean to." Gwaine repeated it. He was confusing himself a little bit, never mind how Merlin was handling the information.

"I don't know what to do now, who's bad?"

"I think we'll stick with just Morgause for the moment," Gwaine said. "You know the cup she used, the Cup Of Life."

Merlin nodded, Balinor frowned.

"Making people immortal isn't it's only use, that's a bad use. The cup is meant to bring people back to life, if they're dying, but for the cup to do that, someone has to give their life in return. Or the magic will take someone."

"Like Arthur's mother? Could the cup be used to help someone have a baby?" Merlin asked.

Gwaine opened his mouth, widened his eyes a little, took a breath and then snapped his mouth shut again.

"You know, I can't answer that one Merlin. I suppose it's possible."

"Nimueh could have used the cup to help Arthur's mother have Arthur, and then it killed her. That's what happened. Cenred said so."

Gwaine blinked and looked at Balinor.

"It's essentially accurate," Balinor mused. "I have no idea what sort of enchantment Nimueh used to actually make it happen."

Merlin blinked as he listened to his father, then he blinked and glancing from Balinor to Gwaine asked.

"So if you want to be immortal, what do you have to give in return?"

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Cenred knew he looked like he had slept badly. He could have blamed that on many things; the revolt of his army, the march on Camelot, or simply the fact that he hadn't spent the previous night sitting with Merlin and Balinor. The king realised he had become quite used to those evenings, just using the small chamber that Balinor had commandeered for himself and Merlin. When he could join them, helping Merlin with his writing, and listening to his chatter.

At the beginning they had no choice but to tolerate him, but Cenred hoped they had actually started to like his company. He found he was glad when the soldiers escorted him to the horses, while the army swiftly mobilised. Merlin had already saddled the big black gelding that Cenred had given him to use, and he was working on saddling up the King's new mare. As Cenred allowed himself to be herded towards them he glanced at Gwaine, who raised his eyebrows, glanced at Merlin and then looked away, all in the space of a few seconds.

The hint was clear enough. Gwaine had said it. That Cenred could apologise to Merlin. Such a thing was not familiar to him, he wasn't even quite sure what to say. For a moment Merlin didn't acknowledge him, although he was aware of his presence. His fingers that were buckling the girth slowed and Merlin's shoulders hunched. Cenred took a breath, and the soldier's backed off, joining the coralle of men that were around the group and their horses. Cenred moved closer, putting his hand on the mare's neck. She turned her head, pressing his nose against his shoulder, and nibbling at the leather of his clothing. Cenred didn't pay her any attention, instead he looked at Merlin. He noticed Cyan slowly moving closer, pressing himself to the back of Merlin's legs, looking up at Cenred. The wolf's tail wagged a little, but Cenred felt the hairs rise on the back of his neck as he considered the idea that the wolf was also waiting to hear what he was about to say.

"I'm sorry," Cenred blurted out, hardly even thinking about it. "I didn't mean what I said, that I didn't care about you. I was just angry. I don't think I've done any of this right, certainly not letting Morgause take control of my army."

Merlin didn't say anything, but he stopped buckling. Staring blankly at the workings of the saddle, he was blinking slowly and had to have heard what Cenred had said to him.

"I know we can fix this, somehow." Cenred wondered if he was actually referring to the situation, or the fracture in their friendship. It could have been both. "But I'll need your help, we all probably will. Merlin?"

Cenred could hear the desperation in his voice. He actually wanted Merlin to forgive him. Throughout the night, when he had considered Gwaine's suggestion, self-preservation had been the main concern. Now Cenred wasn't so sure, it was still a strong enough driving force, but as Merlin turned, lifting his head to look up at Cenred, the king felt that he wanted to be forgiven, because he liked Merlin and he wanted Merlin to like him.

He tensed a little as he looked into Merlin's eyes. It was there again, that unfurling part of him, Merlin's maturity. The part of him that probably needed to hear what Cenred was saying. Cenred felt less sure of that part. The child in Merlin was something that was easy to sway, this side of him, it's growth enforced by the changing situation around him, would be far more difficult to appease.

Merlin stared at him for a moment, before smiling, his eyes a little sad, but Cenred felt a warm wash of relief as he saw the change in expression. He gave a tentative smile back and then Merlin stepped forward and slid his arms around Cenred's neck, taking him entirely by surprise as he hugged him. Quite involuntarily Cenred put his arm around Merlin's waist to hug him back. Merlin's bodyweight pressed against him as he held on tightly, and Cenred felt Cyan's bulk brush against him.

When he pulled back Merlin's eyes had returned to the bright innocent expression that Cenred was used to. Merlin looked almost relived to be forgiven himself. Then he frowned, as he glanced around.

"What do we do?" Merlin asked.

Cenred sighed. "I don't know. I think Gwaine is right, we just have to wait for a moment, and see what happens."

Merlin bit his lip and thought about that.

"Arthur will help," Merlin said decisively. "We need to find Arthur. Arthur will know what to do."


	20. P2 Chapter 8

Arthur knew no such thing. It was only due to Lancelot that he was still alive. When it came to the crunch, Lancelot, his servant, the person he never openly called his friend but both of them knew the bond between them, would disobey Arthur to do what he thought was best for him. In this case, it was knocking him out and carrying him out of Camelot. Arthur knew it would have been foolhardy to attack the people in the hall, the majority of whom were immortal and the rest governed by magic.

That had been the worst shock, when they had snuck into the gallery of the great hall and looked down to see Balinor, Gwaine, and Merlin there. For some reason Arthur felt more hurt about seeing Merlin than anyone else. He had saved the frightened, confused boy from execution, and this was how he appeared to have been repaid.

On top of that a secondary thought was nagging at Arthur. Could he really blame them, blame Merlin, for turning against them, after what happened? Arthur had seen people die unfairly. Lancelot had looked after Gwen when her father had been killed, for associating with a sorcerer. Very slowly, over the last few years, it was slowly dawning on Arthur, as other people's opinions started to make an impression on him, that his father might not be entirely right.

"Sire, you should really eat something," Lancelot said, bringing a meagre portion of whatever he had scavenged from the woods. And however small the portion was Arthur knew it would be more than what Lancelot and the others had taken. Arthur looked up at Lancelot. If Lancelot's appearance was anything to go by then Arthur knew he looked awful.

Lancelot looked pale, dark rings under his eyes from fatigue and worry. Gwen was trapped somewhere in the citadel. She was probably fine, Lancelot had convinced himself of that. Morgana wouldn't hurt her, Gwen was her friend. But since the entire order of things seemed to have been turned on it's head even that simple fact might be in jeopardy.

"I'm not hungry."

Even as Arthur said it he took the bowl and nibbled on the contents. Lancelot lingered, sitting down on a nearby boulder. Arthur gave him the bowl back.

"You have it."

"Arthur, you need to eat, we need to do something."

"What can we do? You saw them, we can't kill them, I just… I just don't understand it. I've known Morgana all my life, how could she do this. How did she know, when did it even happen?"

Lancelot shook his head. "Only your father can tell you that, he didn't deny it. I never even had a clue that she had magic."

He watched as Arthur gave a heavy sigh. "I didn't know, not really, there were just moments, odd little things that made me think. Her nightmares, she used to say things about them, and seemed to know things. I just tried not to notice, but it was sometimes a little hard to ignore."

"Like that time in the tournament against that visiting knight, Valiant? Gwen told me about it."

"Gwen knew? She knew about Morgana?"

Lancelot's expression became guarded. "I think the same as you, she never said anything directly. I don't think they talked about it, she just knew. She was around when Morgana had the nightmares."

"That's what I don't understand, if Morgana knew about Valiant, really knew, she went out of her way to try and protect me. And that's not the only time she's done so. What's changed? How did Morgause do this?"

Lancelot had no answer to that. Arthur lowered his head again, cradling it into his hands and running his fingers through his hair. It was only by chance, that day, as they had been hunting that they had found the patrol, or at least the survivors of it. Two knights, Olwen and Rupert. Arthur looked up and looked around, wincing as he met Lancelot's gaze and saw the bruising on his face. Arthur had caused that, refusing to be drawn away from the fight, even if he had been injured.

When they had reached Camelot it had become worse. They had got through the lower town and found Elyan in Gwen's house. He was with them now, having told them the citadel had been taken by the invading force. Arthur wanted to get to his father, Lancelot had wanted to get medication for Arthur, from Gaius. He had run with them as well, to the cave they now huddled in. Elyan was out scouting, to make sure they were safe. Arthur wasn't ready to move yet.

Elyan had been another mystery. Turning up in Camelot to see his sister with no explanation as to why the urge had come upon him. He hadn't been there when his father had been killed, for a crime he really didn't commit. Gwen had been so angry at the sight of him, and Lancelot had spent days, weeks, trying to build bridges between the two siblings. As Lancelot would, not wanting Gwen to lose out on her brothers support, even though Elyan still treated Lancelot with suspicion. Something that riled Arthur, he knew his servant was a good, honourable man, a man that Gwen loved. Arthur himself had become to know Gwen better over the last year, as she had become closer to Lancelot.

Arthur knew, if it came down to it, Gwen would have a hard choice, choosing between Morgana and Lancelot. Arthur however felt confident that Lancelot would win. Morgana was not behaving in a way that seemed normal.

"I don't know," Lancelot said, finally answering Arthur. "It doesn't seem right. How can she be Uther's daughter and then Morgause keeps calling her sister, what does that mean?"

"I don't know. Morgause was wearing a bracelet from the house of Gorlois, she gave it to Morgana. I saw it, when we went to see Morgause. Was that vision of my mother telling the truth?"

Lancelot sighed. "No, I refuse to believe that. If nothing else, I think your father loved your mother and would not deliberately see harm come to her."

"But I might be born of magic, and that's why she died. I always thought my father was disappointed in me, but what if it was something else."

"What happened to your mother, however it happened, doesn't make him love you any less. He does love you, he loves Morgana, he might show it in different ways, but that's true. I know that."

Arthur looked up at Lancelot, who was staring at him very seriously. Lancelot knew the truth about love, he was deeply involved in it, with Gwen. Arthur felt a stirring of jealously. He had felt that as he had seen the relationship develop. Gwen was a nice girl, Lancelot was an honourable man, and he was good for Gwen. Arthur had never felt the emotions that Lancelot clearly did for Gwen, he wasn't quite sure he ever would.

"What do we do?" Arthur said. "We can't fight men who can't die. There's only five of us, and we can't go up against Morgause, she's got too many allies."

"Not as many as you might think," Lancelot said. "I saw Merlin's face, he didn't want to be there. I don't think this was his choice, I don't even think it was Cenred's, he didn't look to have control over anything. Morgause and Morgana do, we need to find a way to get someone in there, to find out what is going on."

"How do we do that? Like you just said, they control everything."

"I doubt that," Lancelot said. "As long as Uther is alive, and you are free, the knights will not give in, and if they stand the rest of Camelot will. They might not be able to be open about it, but they are loyal, that you can believe in."

"But she'll try and break them. Morgause is cunning, she'll find a way."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"No!" Leon shouted as he realised that the men with crossbows were going to fire on an innocent crowd of people, who had, he realised now, been herded into the square for that very purpose. He watched the bolts fly and then burn. Leon gaped as nothing hit it's target. A young woman turned, looking around in confusion, to see the bolt flying towards her head, but it was nothing more than ash as it danced over her hair, the magic making her blonde locks stir in the breeze. Leon looked back, staring up at the balcony. He wasn't the only one that did.

"You're a bad lady!" Merlin yelled, and at the same time the crossbows burst into flame, the soldiers dropping them in shock as they ignited. Balinor, Cenred and Gwaine stepped forward to hold Merlin, as Morgana stepped back and Morgause moved to meet Merlin head on. Leon watched, unresisting as his arms were grabbed and he was pulled away. He watched the chaos on the balcony as Merlin was dragged away from the three men who were trying to protect him. Morgause said something and Merlin stilled down, pulled from sight and away from the three people that had, every time that Leon had seen him, had flanked him. They now looked frightened and disorientated as they were herded away. Leon didn't resist as he was pulled back down into Camelot's dungeon.

Moments after he and the other knights were locked into a cell, Merlin was frogmarch past and dragged to the neighbouring cell and thrown in. The two men bundled him to the back wall and locked him into the shackles before leaving him. He looked around, whimpering in panic and confusion. He moved his arm, tugging on the chain that tethered him to the wall, looking around in shock.

"Merlin? Merlin!" Leon whispered. Merlin jumped at the sound of Leon's voice, but he shuffled to the wall that separated them, going as far as the chains would allow.

"Hello," Merlin said timidly.

"Can you get us free?"

Merlin shook his head. "No!"

Leon kicked the bars in frustration, they rattled loudly. He heard the sound of Merlin shuffling backwards.

"You have magic, you can do it!"

"Hurt father, bad lady hurt father!"

And then Merlin lapsed into a sullen silence. Leon called his name again, but he received no answer.

"We need him to do something," Jonas snapped. Leon sighed. From the next cell there was the sound of muffled crying. Leon leant against the bars and thought about the best way to handle this.

"Merlin, we saw you, what you did. You saved the people in the square. Why? Why did you do that?"

Merlin turned his head and glared at the wall, if Leon had seen the expression he would have assumed that Merlin thought him to be a complete idiot. "Not bad people, you don't hurt good people. Father said they are not bad, just don't understand. Can't hurt them, the bad men can't hurt them!"

"If you do that again, I'll hurt your father," a voice drawled. The lilt of it was light, the threat casually spoken. Merlin jumped and stared at the owner of the voice in shock. Morgana stepped from the shadows and Merlin gawped at her, his eyes moved to the wall from beyond which Leon had been talking to him. Morgana watched his gaze drift.

"I'll hurt them," she added.

Merlin shrank into the corner, subsiding into silence and looking away from her, resolutely staring at the wall.

"You don't want me to do that, do you Merlin."

Merlin didn't look at her but he shook his head. Leon watched Morgana carefully trying to read what was going on by her reaction. She was staring into the cell, her gaze fixed with intense interest.

Merlin was shivering, which was probably shock rather than cold. Then he gave another little whimper and started to cry, tucking himself up as tightly as he could, pulling his knees up to his chest and ducking his head down. Leon heard the pitiful sound and watched the expression flicker on Morgana's face. The hard mask faded, and she eyed Merlin with confusion, a light frown passing over her features.

"Is she a bad lady?" Leon suddenly asked, directing the question at Merlin. Morgana's head snapped round and she glared at him in fury. Merlin looked up blinking slowly, staring at Morgana as if seeing her for the first time.

"No," Merlin said slowly. "Just angry."

Morgana turned to look at him. "I have right to be, you've seen what Uther has done."

Merlin frowned, slowly shaking his head. "You like being angry, that will make you bad. Hurting innocence people is bad."

"Those people have watched innocence people executed. They would have done the same to you."

Merlin stared at her, and then looked away, staring at the wall. Morgana watched him for a moment, still confused by him. Then with a glare in Leon's direction she swept out of the dungeon leaving them alone. The only sound was Merlin sniffing as he tried to control his tears. Trapped in the cell the knights looked at each other in confusion. There was no denying what they had seen. Despite their fear and loathing of magic they could not ignore the fact, Merlin had used magic to save lives.

Leon shifted, crouching down in the corner of the cell and reaching his hand out and around the dividing wall as best he could.

"Merlin? Merlin, are you all right?"

There was a little more sniffing, and then Merlin's voice announced. "I want father. Don't like it here."

"I know, I'm sure Morgana won't leave you down here. Why did you do that? Why did you save them?"

"It's bad to hurt people. I'm not bad. Will she hurt father?"

Leon winced, and waggled his hand about. "Come here Merlin, come on, can you reach me?"

He had no idea where Merlin was in the cell, or even if he could get close enough.

"What are you doing?" Jonas hissed at Leon in shock and surprise. Leon glared at him in a hint to shut up, while he waited. After a moment, there was the sound of shuffling, and the gentle clink of the chain links before Merlin's hand brushed against his, and Merlin clung to him tightly, so hard that Leon actually winced in pain. Jonas looked ready to drag him away.

"It's all right Merlin. Are you all right?"

"I want father."

"I know, I'm sure your father will be fine, but you can't give in. Listen to me, we need to stick by this. As long as Arthur is free, and safe, then she won't do anything. We can't give into them, if we do that the townspeople will give up hope."

"But she might hurt them," Merlin said.

"We have to take that risk," Leon said softly. "Arthur needs us to do what we can to protect the kingdom, all right? We need to help Arthur."

There was a pause. Merlin was still clinging to him, one hand in Leon's and Merlin's other hand was wrapped tightly around Leon's wrist. He feared for his arm, but didn't attempt to pull away, he didn't want to unsettle Merlin now.

"Arthur helped me," Merlin said, after a brief but heavy pause. The rest of the knights were clustering close to Leon.

"When, Merlin?"

"When we came to Camelot, to save the dragon."

Leon's eyebrows rose, he supposed that was one perspective of the situation.

"When the men came to hurt us, Arthur helped me, he got me away from the bad men."

Leon blinked. It had surprised him the troop of men that they had been unable to track down Merlin and Balinor on that night, but somehow what he had just heard, didn't seem all that shocking.

"You need to help Arthur now, okay, Merlin. We can't give in, do you understand?"

"Yes," Merlin said, still clinging tightly to Leon. "I'm scared."

Leon had enough feeling in his hand despite Merlin's desperate clinging to squeeze his hand back.

"It will be all right, Merlin," Leon said, sounding a good deal more confident as he felt. He had to get out somehow, and his only way might be getting this boy on side. If he did that, the balance might just tip in their favour. As much as it unsettled Leon, he had to get close to Merlin.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

In an upstairs chamber Balinor, Gwaine and Cenred sat, all of them unsettled by the lack of Merlin's presence, as much as Leon was disturbed by being so close to him. It was, Cenred thought, hard to work out who was the most upset by Merlin's absence. Although, one of them in the room was making his feelings perfectly clear, and it had occurred to Balinor, that Merlin had not been separated from Cyan for any length of time ever since they had found the wolf. He was not finding it an easy thing. The wolf kept meandering around the room, going to each of them. He went to Balinor most, sitting next to him and pawing at his leg, whining as he did so, as if he was insisting that Balinor explain where Merlin was.

All the Dragonlord could do was pet the animal's head, until Cyan wandered again, sometimes going to one of the others or back to Balinor. As he padded across the room again he paused by Cenred, resting his head on the king's thigh and looking up at him with his piercing blue eyes. Cenred rubbed Cyan's right ear.

"All right, boy, Merlin's fine."

"He's not going to be for much longer," Gwaine said, not really wanting to say it, but he had to put it out there. Cyan gave a rumble, turning his head towards Gwaine, staring at him. He tried to ignore the wolf's and Balinor's expressions and get his point across.

"He'll carry on pushing both of them, there will be a point it will come down to a complete battle between them. As powerful as Merlin is, he has too many obvious weak spots."

"Mostly us," Cenred said. Cyan left him and wandered around the room again, sniffing and snuffling, until he went back to Balinor, sat down and whined loudly at the Dragonlord, pawing at him again. Balinor rubbed Cyan's head, but it didn't make him or the wolf feel better. Balinor glanced out of the window, but he couldn't see Thor. He guessed the crow was somehow keeping an eye on Merlin. By some instinct the Dragonlord knew his son was fine, at least physically. But the separation would frighten and disorientate him, which Morgause knew.

"I don't think we want to see what happens if it gets that far," Gwaine said. "We have to find a way to get Merlin out of here."

"How are we going to do that around an immortal guard?" Cenred asked.

"There's always a way in and out," Gwaine said. "The problem is we don't know the place well enough to know it. Someone here does."

"The most obvious one we are never going to get to," Balinor said. As both men looked at him he shrugged. "Uther. If anyone knows it would be him."

"Arthur probably does as well, but who knows where he is."

"All right, so we have no way of knowing how to get Merlin out, we just have to think of something. As far as I know of this castle there is a way out somewhere along the northern edge, close to the caverns. There has to be a way to find out exactly where it is," Cenred said.

"If we keep our eyes open, we are bound to see something of an opportunity. The first thing we need to do is get Merlin out of the dungeon," Gwaine said.

Cyan whined again, butting his head against Balinor's leg and he pawed at him again. As Balinor looked down at him Cyan stared up, his eyes expressive and he whined again.

"I don't think they'll leave him down there for long, but it might be worth trying to see if I can appeal to Lady Morgana's better nature."

Cenred raised his eyebrows. "Good luck."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Come in," Morgana snapped irritably as the knock sounded on the door. She was sat brushing her hair, and expected Gwen to appear in the mirror's reflection. However, she turned as instead a tired looking Balinor came through the door, Cyan on his heels. Morgana raised her chin and glared at him.

"Your Majesty," Balinor said politely, giving a bow.

"What is it?" Even as she asked the question Morgana looked to know exactly why Balinor was there. It was obvious, but Balinor made it more so.

"Merlin," he said, and then waited.

"He cannot be permitted to be so insubordinate," Morgana said. Balinor nodded, Cyan whined.

"Merlin doesn't understand that, his view of right and wrong is very simple. He looks like an adult but he's not. From the age of ten he was kidnapped by slavers, he hasn't had a chance to mature yet. Being apart from me for too long may panic him. Please, at least let me see him."

Morgana regarded Balinor with a cool steady glare, but the Dragonlord saw the flicker of uncertainty within her eyes. Without Morgause there to exert her influence something else in Morgana seemed to flicker. She wasn't entirely lost to her hatred, she was only the same age as Merlin, but she had been given a chance to grow, to have friends and family around her.

"Please," Balinor added desperately and Cyan pawed at him again. He had to get Merlin out of the dungeon, it was the first step to getting him out of Camelot. Morgana debated her position for a moment before elegantly rising to her feet.

"Very well, I will take you to him."

Balinor tried not to react in surprise at the sudden announcement. He had expected to either be rejected out of hand, or just get down to reassure Merlin that everything was all right. Still, he was not going to lose the opportunity to help his son. He bowed again.

"Thank you."

Morgana swept to the door with Balinor now in tow, Cyan staying close to him. As they stepped from the room several guards appeared. Morgana brushed past them.

"Follow us," she commanded. Balinor stayed with her as the guards started to follow along behind them. The Dragonlord felt his spine tingle, the men behind him just felt wrong. There wasn't any other way to put it, ever since they had been surrounded by the immortal army, there was just something about them that was wrong. Balinor couldn't exactly put his finger on it, there was just a sense of something unnatural about them. But that wasn't much of a surprise. No man was meant to be immortal, they were affected by magic now, that was, he presumed, what he could feel.

He glanced at Morgana as she walked next to him, back straight and her eyes flickering. Not in his direction, but at the men around her. She could sense it to, the feeling of wrongness. Again Balinor wondered if there was a way to sway Morgana back from this course of action. Morgause certainly had an influence over her, and being in Camelot with any magical talent couldn't have been an easy thing for her.

"Thank you," Balinor said. Morgana turned to him.

"I haven't let him out yet."

"At least for letting me see him. He doesn't cope well with being separated now. It wasn't in a very good state the last time it happened."

"When you came to help Camelot?" Morgana said, as if she couldn't understand what drove him to do such a thing. Balinor reached out and gently touched her arm, pulling her to a halt. As he took hold of her one of the men behind him put a hand on the hilt of his sword.

"I didn't do it to help Camelot. I came to help Kilgharrah, the dragon."

Morgana frowned.

"It was through me that he was imprisoned in the first place. We were both betrayed by Uther. If I hadn't helped then he might have been recaptured, or killed."

"He could have brought down Camelot," Morgana said.

"That would have served no purpose. Things are not so black and white. It is not something that Merlin has learnt yet, he can't bear to see anyone hurt. He was so badly damaged when I found him."

"You were looking for him."

Balinor shook his head. "I had no idea he existed. I left the village when Uther came after me. It was nineteen years later when I discovered I had a son. One who had been abused for nearly eight years. He is still sometimes very much the child he was before that happened."

"Yet, he is still very forgiving. How can he not hate Camelot?"

"Even in viewing things simply, he makes it complicated. He reacts more to individuals than to groups, but I don't think he would even consider hurting anyone he hated now, not after what happened to Nimueh. He'll find a way to do it that hurts no one."

"Like destroying weapons," Morgana snapped. Balinor hesitated to answer and Morgana watched him carefully. She turned and walked on down the corridor towards the entrance to the dungeon.

It didn't seem like she wanted to say anything more to him so Balinor just followed her, going into the dark, damp area of the dungeon, past the cells holding the knights of Camelot, and then in the next one huddled up a corner was Merlin. He glanced up, his face crumpling a little as he saw Balinor. Morgana waved her hands at one of the guards.

"Let him out," she ordered.

The man did as he was told, Merlin pressing himself back into the wall as his shackles were unlocked. Then the man stepped away and left the cell. Balinor went in to retrieve his son. Cyan bounded ahead of him, jumping around Merlin, delighted at seeing him. Merlin threw himself on the wolf, clinging hard. Balinor put a hand in Merlin's hair.

"Come on Merlin, it's all right."

Merlin jumped up and threw his arms around Balinor's neck, clinging to him tightly and sniffling a little. Cyan hovered close, sniffing Merlin, running around the pair of them, tail wagging happily.

"Let's get you upstairs shall we?"

"It's not nice down here," Merlin said.

"I know, you need to thank Queen Morgana for letting you out," Balinor said in a tone of voice that Merlin would not disobey, although he looked at Balinor with mild horror for a moment before turning to regard Morgana, who was watching from outside the cell. Merlin huddled tighter to his father, feeling safe next to Balinor's strong physical presence.

"Thank you," Merlin said, timidly and resentfully. Morgana gave something of a half smile, while the Dragonlord kept his arms tightly around Merlin.

"Come on son, we need to get you out of here."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Gwen walked swiftly down the corridor, gasping in panic as someone grabbed her arm, clamped a hand over her mouth and pulled her into an alcove. She gave a muffled yelp as she came face to face with Cenred, and she tried to pull back from him. The king frowned at her.

"Oh, stop that! Ow!"

"What do you want?" Gwen demanded as he took his hand away shaking it roughly.

"You bit me!"

"If that's what you want I'm happy to oblige," Gwen snapped and tried to pull away from him again. He yanked her back into the alcove and put his arm out to block her exit.

"Not exactly, you've been allowed to speak to Leon."

"I'm helping Morgana, she needs the knight's support, and Leon can influence them."

Cenred leant in closer to her. "Why do I not believe that's your entire motive?"

"You can believe what you like, Morgana trusts me."

"Good for her. I bet Lancelot does too, the question is who do you trust more?"

Gwen clenched her jaw and glared up at Cenred. "What do you want?"

"Next time you speak to Leon, ask him if he knows where the passageway that leads out under the north wall starts from."

"What?" Gwen hissed. Both of them jumped, looking around guiltily at the sound of footsteps, they were uniform, moving swiftly and in perfect time. Cenred pushed Gwen deeper into the alcove, pressing himself against her, moving his shoulders to conceal her. He was wearing dark clothes, which turned them both into shadows as the soldiers strode past. Gwen waited tensely, her stomach unclenching as Cenred pulled back again, looking out to make sure the coast was clear again.

"Look, it's quite obvious we can't carry on sitting around doing nothing, and we have got to get Merlin out of here, he's going to completely blow up at Morgause soon enough, and that will not be pretty. We have to get him away from the castle, and if Arthur is planning something, his best weapon is to have Merlin with him."

"You want to help?"

"I don't particularly want to help Camelot, no," Cenred informed her honestly. "But the lynchpin of this situation is Merlin, whom I don't want anything to happen to. It's just unfortunate that his destiny is tied to Arthur's, so Merlin needs to find Arthur."

"And you expect me to believe you?"

"Oh yes, because I am really happy playing lapdog to Morgause. Quite frankly, if we stop them and destroy the immortal army, I get to go back to my own kingdom and hopefully take Merlin with me. There is an awful lot of self-preservation to this plan, don't worry about that. Now I'm sorry it couldn't be Balinor or Gwaine that came to tell you, but unfortunately you're stuck with me. What is your plan?"

Gwen bit down on her lower lip. She knew she couldn't trust Cenred, not entirely, but as he pointed out, stopping Morgana and Morgause could have selfish motivations on his part. And some instinct stirred in her that for the purposes of both their plans, he could be trusted.

"Leon says there is a cave where Arthur will probably be hiding. I need to get the dungeon key from Morgause's chambers, I can make a copy and get it to Leon. I can sneak him out of the castle disguised, but if he knows where the tunnel is, we can just go together."

"Balinor thinks that is a bad idea. If we get caught together then none of us get out, if we do it separately, and at the same time, we are in with a better chance of success. I can get the key to you, but you'll need to get it back in place."

"Okay," Gwen said. "But let's be clear about this, I don't like you."

Cenred stared at her for a moment before he shrugged.

"Fair enough."


	21. P2 Chapter 9

The knights still trapped in the dungeon stirred with interest at the sound of shouting. Several of Morgana's guard came storming in, dragging someone with them. A good number of the knights blinked as they recognised the Dragonlord as he was dragged along past their cell. Morgana strode along behind them, sweeping past the knights without a glance.

In the end cell, as far away from anyone as she could get him, Uther slowly looked up, staring almost without comprehension as someone was bundled into the cell with him and the man slumped down as the guards released their grip to lock him into the second set of shackles on the wall. Uther backed as far away from the soldiers as he could get, watching in shock, then he turned as he caught movement by the door and he gazed at Morgana. She didn't acknowledge him for a moment, her gaze was fixed on Balinor, giving a fleeting smirk as one of the men punched him on the head before they backed off and left him. Balinor sagged to the side, eyes rolling in his head as he recovered from the blow. His lip was also split and one arm slowly moved to cradle his ribs. Uther nearly stepped forward to help him until recognition sparked in his mind and he took a step back, dazed confusion in his eyes.

He looked back at Morgana, whose gaze did eventually turn from Balinor to him.

"Some company for you."

"He's a Dragonlord," Uther said, confused and offended. Morgana smirked.

"He's the only Dragonlord."

Balinor recovered himself long enough to lift his eyes and rumble. "No, I am not."

"Merlin will inherit your power only if you die," Morgana snapped.

"And he will know, and I think that you can expect a visit from Kilgharrah should that happen."

The cell door was pulled closed with a clang and Morgana locked it carefully, staring down at Balinor, before she stepped sideways and slowly crouched down, putting her gaze level with his. He looked at her eyes, glittering with malice, and wondered if himself, Merlin, Gwaine and Cenred were the ones that had tipped her over the edge. They had betrayed her, getting close enough to her for the purposes of getting Merlin safely away from Morgause. As circumstances had it, they had not all been able to get away. None of it had been Merlin's decision, but Gwaine, Cenred and Balinor had come to the conclusion that the Dragonlord was the most valuable. Uther was still alive because they wanted Arthur to come for him. Keeping Balinor alive would serve the same purpose, and also, as he had reminded her, prevent Merlin from becoming a Dragonlord. With his powers, and thought processes, that was probably not a good idea just yet. Balinor wondered if fate or destiny, or whoever it was that had intervened for him, had the same opinion.

"We are aware of that, but that's not the reason you're alive. We will find them, and you can both watch as your sons die," Morgana said. She rose up and turned to walk away but Uther shuffled forward.

"Morgana?"

She paused and turned but Balinor watched the stiffening in her back, a similar reaction to the soldiers around her, as if she sensed something wrong. Perhaps finding out that Uther was her father was more than she could stand. Balinor waited with probably as much anticipation as Morgana did.

"Do you really hate me that much?" Uther asked. Balinor gritted his teeth and waited. Morgana glared, and then smiled, looking almost delighted.

"You cannot begin to believe how much I hate you," she snarled, watching as that sank in before turning and sweeping away. Uther stared at the space that his daughter had been and then he looked down at Balinor, who was wiping the blood from his face. Uther's gaze moved around, staring at the cell they were in. He recoiled, jumping violently, stumbling to the floor as there was a skittering sound and a low call. Balinor looked up. There was a window to the dungeon that opened out to the courtyard. Thor now squatted there, looking into the cell, poking his head in and peering around. He appeared to have found was he was looking for because he waddled to the edge and looked down at Balinor. A moment later the crow hopped forward and flexing his wings out dropped into the room, waddling forward and looked around, poking the ground and pecking at a spider that he had spotted. Then he bounced over to Balinor, jumping up onto his leg. The bird rubbed his beak against Balinor's thigh and stared at him.

Balinor looked back. Most of the time, during a vigil the bird stayed back, this seemed to be entirely different and Balinor did not want to view that with dread. He had lived past his fate, and there would be a point when he was no longer needed, and then it would close in on him. Balinor reached up and gently stroked the bird's head. Thor hopped closer and pecked at Balinor's arm, tugging on his sleeve.

"Sorcery!" Uther hissed, sounding outraged. Balinor looked up at him.

"No, he's simply tame. Merlin has had care of Thor since he was a fledgling; Merlin found him injured, rescued him and cared for him. Thor stayed around and Merlin continued to look after him."

Uther glared at him unconvinced. Balinor glared back.

"You just make assumptions. Anything you see that you don't understand, you just take it as evil and lash out."

"Sorcery is evil," Uther snapped, and then he looked up at the empty space beyond the cell bars.

"I think you caused that. Knowing she had talent and she had nowhere to go, until Morgause came to her. We can only hope your son's outside influences are better."

"That servant of his!"

"Lancelot," Balinor said, stressing his name. "Is exactly what Arthur needed, the last piece of the puzzle that Arthur needs is Merlin, and I think for Merlin, it's Arthur."

"Your son is a sorcerer."

"No, he is not," Balinor said. "He is a warlock, Merlin was born with his gift, as Morgana was born with hers. Merlin displayed his since he was a child, which would make him the most powerful ever known. That does not make him evil."

Uther snorted and looked away. Balinor ran his hand over Thor's feathers. It worried him a little, that the bird was this close as he prepared to wait the situation out. Maybe it was because Merlin had been so distressed by the separation that had been forced on him. This time, thankfully, he was not alone. Not only did he have Cyan, he had Gwaine and Cenred.

"It was your hatred that caused this, not a need for justice and to balance magic," Balinor said.

"Your son attacked us!"

"I came to help you, and as I remember it, you attacked first. Because of you I didn't even know I had a son, until something directed him into my life. He suffered for years at the hands of men who abused him because I wasn't there to protect him. He saw his mother die, trying to keep him safe. When you came, it made all that come back, and he reacted. Your son helped him escape, he didn't see Merlin as evil, he saw what was really there."

"Arthur wouldn't do that."

"He did, and knowing that, there is still hope."

"Arthur will not tolerate a sorcerer."

"I think Arthur might surprise you, people do that. It's something I have learnt."

Uther eyed him steadily. "And Cenred? You trust him."

Balinor met the gaze. "Yes, I do, I trust him with Merlin's life."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Leon gazed around carefully as he and Gwen moved through the forest. They had paused for Leon to change again, and shed the dress that he could hardly fathom, much to Gwen's amusement. She had watched his attempts to dress and undress himself in the folds of material, giggling as she helped him.

"Should we wait for them?" he asked, gazing back at the dark, impenetrable structure of Camelot.

"Cenred said not to," Gwen told him. "It was best to meet at the last moment, until we find Arthur."

"Do they know where to go?" Leon asked as they stepped carefully through the forest.

"I mentioned the cave to Cenred, he just nodded, so I think so. I didn't really ask, we didn't have much time. I don't like him."

"I don't trust him."

"He gets something out of this just as much as we do," Gwen said.

"It's his army, with Morgause gone, he could still use it against us."

Gwen said nothing, she just followed Leon as they stumbled through the dark woods, heading in the direction that Leon seemed to know so well.

"How far is it?"

"Not much further."

Leon suddenly skidded to a halt, pulling the sword that Gwen had got for him, as someone stepped into their pathway.

"Elyan!" Gwen gasped, hurling herself into her brother's arms. Leon turned to Arthur who was directly behind him. The rest of them appeared from the cave, as they realised who it was.

"Sire," Leon greeted Arthur formally.

"What news? What can you tell me? How did you get out?"

"Gwen helped me."

Elyan wrapped his arms around his sister, which Gwen accepted, while Lancelot lingered behind. As she was released by Elyan Lancelot swept her into his embrace.

"Oh Gwen, I was so worried about you. I didn't know what might have happened."

"I'm fine, we're fine. There was…" Gwen turned as she talked, hearing the nearby rustle. Gwaine lurched back as Sir Olwen nearly took his head off.

"Woah, it's fine, just us," Gwaine said.

"Us?" Arthur asked, then his face contorted with anger as Merlin and Cenred came into view, with Cyan trotting along at Merlin's heels. The wolf's tail started to wag as he looked around. "You!"

"Hello," Merlin said nervously, Cyan rumbled. Merlin looked at Arthur and then at Gwaine and Cenred, whom Arthur was glaring at.

"This is your fault!" Arthur snapped at Cenred, lunging forward. Cenred snarled and stepped forward to meet him. Merlin was pushed aside in the confrontation, Gwaine catching him as he stumbled, sending them both tumbling to the floor. The rest of them tensed at the sudden confrontation which didn't happen because both men found themselves frozen and unable to cross the short distance between each other. Arthur took several panicked breaths, glaring at Cenred, who didn't even bother looking at him.

"Merlin," Cenred said calmly. "Merlin, its fine."

Arthur looked down at Merlin, who was staring from him to Cenred and back again, looking wide eyed and fearful. Cyan sniffed at Cenred and then at Arthur, looking from one to the other with interest.

"We're not going to hurt each other, Merlin, let us go," Cenred said calmly.

Arthur felt the cold tension on his limbs suddenly release. He was tempted to launch himself at Cenred but he got the feeling he would not get close.

"See," Cenred said. "It's fine, Merlin."

The king then turned his eyes at Arthur, glaring at him and then inclining his head in Merlin's direction. Arthur frowned and Cenred rolled his eyes.

"Oh, we've got company!" Elyan snapped. They looked round and heard the sounds from deep within the darkness. "It was you!"

"Nothing to do with us, we want Merlin well away from Morgause!" Gwaine snapped. "They could have followed either of us."

"He's in with them!" Lancelot said, pointing at Cenred. Cenred didn't react instead he instead saw Merlin's reaction. The boy's head suddenly turned, snapping round, head jerking again as he stepped towards Gwen. He ran a finger down her arm and then looked behind her. Lancelot and the rest of them looked ready to pounce on him. Gwaine and Cenred moved to protect Merlin, who calmly announced.

"Lights."

They all looked around in confusion, seeing nothing but the dark forest.

"What do you mean lights, Merlin?" Cenred asked.

"From Gwen, into the dark, like a pathway. I can see it."

"He's just trying to fool us!" Elyan snapped.

"Something they could follow?" Cenred asked Merlin.

"Are following, lights start here, and go back there. It's here, Gwen," Merlin said, his voice distant as the sense of the magic distracted him.

"Gwen wouldn't do that!" Lancelot snapped.

"We have to go, we can't stay here and be found," Olwen said.

"I'm not leaving Gwen!" Lancelot snapped.

"But it's fine to make me leave my father!" Arthur snapped.

"Gwen, did they give you any jewellery?" Cenred suddenly asked. Gwen shook her head.

"No."

"Are you wearing any clothing that came from them?"

"No."

"Are you carrying anything that came from either Morgause or Morgana?"

"No!" Gwen said, looking down at herself, really wondering about that.

"Damn," Cenred snapped, sighed and then asked. "Have you eaten with them?"

"No! As if Morgause would let me. But Morgana gave me a drink of wine, I had some."

"Oh, hell!" Cenred snapped. "That means there is no dumping it. They knew you'd plan to help Leon. And you'd leave with him because you'd want to see Lancelot."

"It's not her fault!" Lancelot said.

"No it's not!" Cenred snapped. "Although I doubt you'd be that forgiving for anyone else though, if they made the same mistake."

"Merlin, can you do something about this?" Gwaine asked, listening with apprehension as the sounds of the trackers got louder. "Let's move, shall we?"

"I can't. I can't put anyone at risk, if it's me," Gwen said.

"He's just saying that!" Rupert snarled, glaring at Merlin.

"He is not, Merlin doesn't lie, and he can sense magic better than anyone," Cenred snapped.

"Can he stop it?" Arthur asked, grabbing Gwen's arm, pulling her through the group so they could protect her from the oncoming soldiers. Merlin's eyes followed her and then ran back through the trail.

"No, if the magic is fixed in her, then no," Cenred said. "Short of cutting her open. Which we are not going to do!" he added raising his hands as the Camelot knights tensed.

"You have to go, I have to stay. They can't find you, Arthur," Gwen insisted.

"I'll stay with you," Lancelot said.

"They will kill you," Elyan snapped.

"Gaius can you do anything about this?" Arthur asked.

Gaius shook his head. "Cenred is right, the power of it will eventually wear off but there is no way to remove the enchantment now."

"Sire, we do have to make sure that you are safe," Leon said. "No one will yield if we have that leverage."

Arthur listened to the debate but his focus turned to Merlin, who was listening to Cenred. The king was talking rapidly, in a low tone, explaining something that made Merlin raise his right hand, holding his palm out and starting from just behind Gwen stared hard. Then his eyes started to glow. Gwaine watched with interest, just waiting. Cenred kept murmuring to Merlin, who was nodding, and then he smiled, looking up at Cenred, very pleased with himself.

"Done!"

"How many?" Cenred asked. Merlin turned back and looked at the glittering lights that spread across the floor. They fanned away from Gwen like a bridal train, separating out and lighting up the forest. Only someone with magic would see it. Merlin smiled, thinking it was pretty.

"Lots, everywhere."

That made Cenred smile. "Your father never got to counting, did he?"

"What is going on?" Arthur asked.

"We can't get rid of the trail, so you make it impossible to follow. Whatever Merlin could see, he's reproduced. If there's one trail, there are hundreds, if we move now, she'll never be able to follow us."

"And you expect us to trust you?" Arthur said.

"Like he said," Gwen announced. "He has more to gain by siding with us."

"Believe what you like, I promised Balinor that I would protect Merlin. Morgause cannot find him. For some reason, he is supposed to be with you, so make it worthwhile Pendragon."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Arthur kept them walking throughout the night and as the sun rose Merlin whined, pouted and threw tantrums. Gwaine and Cenred kept him moving and Cyan started to nip at them.

"Enough!" Arthur snapped, turning around and glaring at Merlin. Merlin stared at him, Cyan's ears pressed down on his head.

"Not another word, from anyone. Is that clear, if you don't want to walk then just stop and stay here. I have more important things to worry about!"

Arthur turned away and Merlin stared at his retreating back as if he could hardly comprehend what he had just heard. Merlin's lower lip wobbled and even Gwen paused. She held out her hand.

"Come on Merlin, it won't be much further."

Cyan stretched out to sniff her hand and his tail started to wag. Merlin pouted even harder.

"Come on Merlin, you stay with Gwaine," Cenred said, as he sped up. Merlin frowned and Cenred ruffled his hair. "It's fine Merlin, just leave this to me."

Cenred turned, moving through the rest of them to catch up with Arthur. Leon tensed as Cenred gave Arthur a none too gentle shove.

"Whatever your problem is Pendragon, do not take it out on Merlin."

Arthur glared at him and then glanced at Merlin. Gaius was trying to reassure him, and Gwaine was now holding Merlin's hand to lead him along. Merlin looked confused and upset. Cenred took Arthur's arm to keep them moving along the track, Leon followed as close as he could.

"None of this is his doing," Cenred said.

"A lot of it is yours."

"I am very well aware of that," Cenred hissed. "And if you want this fixed then you have to accept the fact that Merlin is vital to it. In fact he's probably more important than any of us."

"Why, he's just a…?"

"He's the most powerful, and most instinctive, warlock to ever exist, even Morgause had to accept that fact. So much so, forces are out there trying to prevent what he is supposed to achieve."

"How come you know so much about it?" Leon asked.

"I only know what Balinor told me, he knows that Merlin's destiny is somehow tied to yours. Whatever that is about this situation is clearly meant to bring that about. For all we know, all of this was meant to happen."

"Is that making you feel any better?" Arthur snapped. Cenred glanced back towards Merlin.

"Not especially no. Unfortunately, she knows exactly what she is up against when it comes to dealing with Merlin."

"How did you know, about the enchantment on Gwen?" Leon asked, his voice filled with suspicion.

"My castle library has a good collection of books on magic," Cenred said.

Arthur blinked. "You've got a library?"

"Of course, I have."

"And you know where it is?" Arthur asked. Cenred gave him a steady look and smirked.

"Yes, and out of interest, how often do you visit yours?"


	22. P2 Chapter 10

It was dawn by the time they reached the castle, an old, ruined structure abandoned long ago. Arthur knew it well, he had been brought to it as a child and told stories about the kings that had gathered there. It had sounded like something from a fairy tale when he had heard about it. Now it just looked like a cold, dusty, broken down building. At least it gave them somewhere to hide and regroup.

The knights took a wander around the castle for anything they could find. Gwaine, Merlin and Gwen wandered off to find some firewood. Merlin was still obviously unhappy, but Cyan did his best to reassure Merlin, staying as close as possible to him.

"Is that it?" Arthur asked as he looked at the meagre amount of weapons that the group had managed to acquire.

"I'm sorry Sire," Leon said. He frowned as Cenred wandered off towards Gwaine and Merlin. Gwaine pointed a finger at the knights clustered around the table.

"How many knights?" Gwaine asked.

"One, two, three, four, five," Merlin said counting, before holding his hand up for Gwaine to see. "Five knights!"

"Actually, I'm not a knight," Lancelot corrected.

"Why not?" Merlin asked scratching the stick he had been using to write with into the dirt.

"Well, if we minus Lancelot, how many knights?" Gwaine asked.

"Four," Merlin said almost absently. "What about Arthur? He's a prince."

"He's also a knight," Lancelot said. Merlin wrote something in the dirt.

"What are you then?"

"I'm a servant," Lancelot said.

"Why aren't you a knight?"

Gwaine smirked glancing at Cenred whose mouth tweaked into a smile. Gwen frowned as she watched them. Merlin didn't seem to realise everyone was watching him with silent amusement, instead he scowled at the people around the table.

"So why isn't he a knight?" Merlin asked again, directing the question to Arthur.

"Because noblemen are knights, not commoners," Arthur said.

Merlin frowned and looked up at Gwaine.

"It's only certain people, with money, and titles that get to become knights. They're noblemen," Gwaine said. "They have land and people work for them."

"Like princes, and kings, they look after people."

"Yeah," Gwaine agreed. "Kind of."

"But Lancelot does that, he's noble."

Gwaine grimaced, glancing at Cenred. "Help?"

"No, no, you're doing fine," Cenred said brightly.

"There's two sorts of noble," Gwaine said. "Lancelot is noble, but he's not a nobleman so he can't become a knight."

Lancelot was looking increasingly uncomfortable about the conversation. Arthur was frowning, staring at Merlin intently. Cenred smirked again.

"But he'd be a good knight," Merlin said, quite decisively.

"I would think so," Gwaine said giving Cenred a death glare.

"If it makes you feel better Merlin, I'm sure I could make him a knight," Cenred said.

"I want to be a knight of Camelot," Lancelot said.

"Don't say I didn't offer," Cenred said.

"Yes," Merlin said. "Then you'd be a knight, and Cenred could have a new army."

Gwaine gave a strangled cough. Cenred rolled his eyes.

"Thanks for that, Merlin."

"You should be a knight," Merlin insisted to Lancelot, quite determined to make that the case. He glowered at Arthur. "Make Lancelot a knight."

"Knights are noblemen, Merlin," Arthur announced. "It's been like that for hundreds of years, and it's not about to change for you."

"I don't want to be a knight," Merlin told him, sounding slightly confused. "Change it for Lancelot."

Cenred had folded his arms across his chest, and his shoulders were shaking as he struggled not to laugh. He lowered his head to hide the fact he was laughing. Gwaine grinned.

"The world according to Merlin. Everyone would be knights, and nice to each other, which might negate the point of having knights."

"What?" Merlin asked.

"Never mind Merlin," Gwaine said.

"Are you a knight?" Merlin asked, now entirely fixated on the subject.

"No, my father was a knight though," Gwaine said. Arthur, who had given up and was sifting through the weapons, looked up sharply.

"You never said!"

"But you're not a knight," Merlin said to Gwaine. Gwaine shook his head.

"No, but my father was a knight. When he was killed in battle my mother went to the king for help, and he turned her away penniless. I guess I didn't see there was that much nobility to be had."

"If you'd have said something, my father might not have nearly executed you!" Arthur snapped. Gwaine shrugged.

"Nobility proved itself in the end," Gwaine said. Arthur frowned, looking confused and embarrassed. He went back to hunting through the weapons.

"I think it's stupid," Merlin concluded. "Why can't you be a knight if you want to be one?"

"We've just been through that Merlin," Arthur snapped. Merlin frowned and looked to Gwaine for a better explanation.

"Because it's… stupid," Gwaine agreed. Cenred burst out laughing. Gwaine picked up a stone and lobbed it at him, striking the king on the shoulder.

"You're not helping!"

Cenred just continued to laugh. "Trust me, you don't even need to be a nobleman to be king."

"No," Arthur snarled at him.

"Your father wasn't exactly next in line for the throne when he took it," Cenred said.

"He fought for it," Arthur retaliated.

"So did I," Cenred answered.

Merlin watched the argument with confused worry, and then he went back to writing in the dirt, scribing something carefully. Gwaine watched him, murmuring at him to encourage him along.

"We should patrol," Leon said, getting back to more practical matters. "We need to make sure that we weren't followed."

"I'll go," Lancelot said. Arthur looked up and nodded, and then glanced across the room.

"Cenred as well," Arthur added.

That made the king turn and stare at him in surprise. Arthur looked back at him calmly, watching as the king's jaw clenched with tension, and then he relaxed.

"I'm certainly not going anywhere without a sword."

The knights looked at the weapons that they had scavenged and then at each other, realising that for that to happen, they would have to lend him one. Leon was on the cusp of suggesting that he patrol with Lancelot instead when Arthur moved around the table, drawing his own sword and offering it hilt first to Cenred. The two men glared at each other and then Cenred slowly took the blade off Arthur, holding it up so the point was inches away from Arthur's throat.

"Thank you," Cenred said, with a mild trace of sarcasm. Arthur's eyes narrowed.

"You're welcome."

Merlin's eyes were moving from one man to the other a light frown drifting over his brow and he blinked rapidly. Gwaine watched the reaction, while everyone else stared at Cenred and Arthur. Something, Gwaine thought, seemed to hang in the balance. Glancing up he realised Gaius' attention had turned to Merlin. Merlin was oblivious, lost to his own thoughts as he stared.

In the end Cenred and Arthur broke eye contact and Cenred slid the sword into his belt and he followed Lancelot out through the castle's main archway. It was broken on one side, ivy crawling up through the gaps of the shattered stone, gently drooping down.

"How many have gone on patrol Merlin?" Gwaine asked, shaking himself out of the dream-like contemplation.

"Two," Merlin said. "Cenred and… how do I write Lancelot?"

Gwaine slowly started to take Merlin through the letters, annunciating the sounds so Merlin could work it out for himself. Arthur watched for a moment, coming close enough to study what Merlin had been doing, while Gwaine patiently distracted him.

Arthur frowned as he looked at the scrawl of names on the floor, clustered into a pattern that presumably only Merlin could understand and he drew lines and boxes around them. He saw his own name with Lancelot's and Leon's beside it. Arthur pointed.

"You forgot Rupert and Olwen," Arthur said. Merlin scowled and added them, with help from Gwaine.

"And Gwen," Gwaine said. "Right there, it's a bit like my name."

And with very little effort Merlin added hers, and then Gaius.

"How many names?" Gwen asked.

As Merlin started to laboriously count Leon looked up from attempting to fix a crossbow and asked.

"Enough to take on an immortal army and defeat Morgana and Morgause?"

He recoiled slightly as Merlin looked up, blue eyes glittering, giving the knight a penetrating glare, before the young warlock calmly said.

"Yes."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"I'm sorry sister," Morgause said to Morgana. They stood quietly together, in the darkness of the castle corridor, the window looking out to the night sky, the moon fading as the night ended. Morgause clearly angry at having been outsmarted by Merlin, although she suspected that the subtlety of the manoeuvre was something that Cenred or Gwaine were responsible for. She suspected Cenred. As weak as he was in some ways, he certainly knew enough wily strategies, and knew how to survive.

"They'll be back, we have something they want."

"Arthur and Merlin," Morgause snarled. "They'll both come, and bring the others with them. Those loyal fools will stand with them. Then we will have them and Camelot will truly be yours."

Morgana looked at her sister closely. "If we kill them."

"You wish to stop the tyranny that has come from Uther's reign," Morgause said.

"Of course, I've seen the people he's killed, dragged to the block, or the pyre, for the sake of justice."

"When it was nothing more than revenge, remember that Morgana. Uther has no comprehension of magic, other than it is evil. If he had known of your gifts…" Morgause reached out to take her sister's arm. Morgana automatically put her hand over Morgause's. "I tried to show Arthur the truth and he failed to believe me."

"He did, it was Lancelot who convinced him otherwise, and told him that you had only shown what you wanted to be seen."

Morgana left the hint there. That Morgause could tell her if that had been true, if she had used it as a way to try and kill Uther, which she would accept it if that was the case. Morgause said nothing, looking out of the window at the view of Camelot.

"The people will believe what you tell them, they did for Uther, it will become the same for you. The knights have lost their commander, Leon will tell Arthur that his father is still alive, so that will bring him. The knights may hold that hope, but Arthur's band are few in number, we could break the knights in the meantime. There is no one to help them now."

"What of Balinor?"

Morgause turned to look at her. "He serves the same purpose as Uther, if not more so. Merlin is entirely dependant on him, it will mean that Merlin will come back, even Cenred and that rogue Gwaine will have trouble controlling him. He'll defy them to come to Balinor."

"Will you kill Merlin? Balinor will care nothing about anything else, he could unleash the dragon."

"Merlin proved his weakness, he cannot stand for people to be hurt, most especially his father, and we cannot kill him, the power of the Dragonlord passes from father to son on death. Merlin will know the instant his father dies, he will feel the power. It has made the situation almost impossible to dictate," Morgause spoke with irritation.

"But Merlin may still be useful to us," the sorceress added. "His powers are interesting. He has had almost no training and can do what it takes years for many of us to learn."

Morgana frowned. She stared at her sister for a long moment before slowly moving her hand off Morgause's and stepping away from her, taking her own position to look out of the window, looking out over the silhouette of the town, and the burning lights around the streets.

"We must be strong now, you wanted an end to Uther's reign."

"And now that has happened," Morgana said.

"But with Arthur still alive, and free, it will not last. He would see his father restored to the throne."

"We could kill Uther," Morgana said.

"That will just make him a martyr, and Arthur could still make a claim," Morgause said. "No, for now, we must use patience, but still a show of power for the population might be a useful display."

"Maybe," Morgana said, more sharply than she intended. "I shall think about it."

"You should rest sister," Morgause said. "These days are hard for you."

"Yes."

"The dreams are not troubling you?"

"No," Morgana said. "No, they are not. I will rest now."

It wasn't lost on Morgause that Morgana had put her hand around the bracelet on her wrist almost protectively. And the Queen of Camelot did not go to rest.

The guards on duty said nothing as they let her into the dungeon, two of them keeping a discreet distance to escort her down. She swept past the knights, most of the slumbering, but two remained on vigil by the bars. One of the guards carried a torch and realising her destination went ahead of her to light the way.

Balinor looked up, flinching a little at the bright, flickering torch flames. Uther stirred in his sleep, but did not wake, his head resting on Balinor's coat.

"Are you not cold?" Morgana asked.

"The night is not so, and I have spent worse," Balinor said. "I have spent better."

Morgana looked at him, and then at Uther.

"He hunted you, and you offer him kindness."

"Trust me, My Lady, I find it an unexpected display, but I am not as bitter as I once was. Things do change you."

"Like Merlin."

"Children have that affect on you," Balinor said, hinting that he wasn't entirely talking about himself. Morgana lifted her chin.

"And do you think that he would have spared me if he knew what I was?"

"Are you so sure that he didn't already know? He's a man who sees magic everywhere, as hysterical as his reactions are a times, he must have seen many a true sign. Your powers as a seer are not a minor thing."

"He would have killed me, if he knew. He has killed those that are no more than children before."

"But not his own."

"He is a hypocrite."

"Show me someone who is not, in some way."

"I am not," Morgana said. Balinor raised his eyebrows.

"You wish to end Uther's tyranny, it seems by replacing it with your own. You are more your father's daughter than you would like to think."

"I do not kill needlessly."

"No, Merlin stopped you. You haven't killed your father."

"Because I want him to watch Arthur die, to see that light die in his eyes."

"Why?" Balinor asked.

Morgana didn't seem to have an answer to that.

"You do not have to let this happen," Balinor said. "You could control your own fate, with the power you have."

"I do, and I control yours, I could make it you, next time, take you to the square and see you burn."

"But you cannot, once I die the power of the Dragonlord will pass to Merlin, and he will know, and that will make him a hypocrite in his own right, because he will rain down fire on you, and he will not care who he hurts to do so. This is why I have lived beyond what fate wanted of me. The exchange has already occurred, what works beneath the surface of what we see, plays us like we are nothing more than pawns."

"What do you mean?"

"Fate decreed I should have died and that was prevented, Merlin's mother was taken from him, when she shouldn't have. His entire fate was changed, when his destiny required something of him. He was not put into my path by accident, nor was Arthur. The only reason I am alive is because they do not want that power given to Merlin yet. He is too much of a risk to be allowed to control the Great Dragon."

Morgana looked at him uncertainly. "How do you know this?"

"I do not," Balinor answered truthfully. "I have Kilgharrah's word, and although he would not lie to me, he has a way of manipulating the truth for his own ends. There is no reason to believe anything, but now I think is the moment when much of this will be decided. Things are out of balance, you know they are, I can see it in you, you can feel it, you know it. You can stop this."

"And if I don't want to?" she asked, eyes glittering.

"Then the consequences are yours."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Going on patrol was not as difficult as Lancelot thought. Cenred didn't expect him to talk, and seemed to make it easy for Lancelot to ignore him. However he remained very aware of the king walking close to him.

"We should move out check that ridge, if anyone tries to advance on the castle they will come from there. The coverage is good through that section of woodland."

"Probably, but they won't follow, it's a waste of time," Cenred said, preparing to do as he was told, heading out to the west section.

"Why?" Lancelot asked as he took the eastern path. Cenred paused and looked over at him.

"Because they know as well as we do, we're going back."

Lancelot blinked as Cenred clambered over a fallen tree and ran off through the forest, taking the trail and then leaving it to circle out and check the forest for any intruders. Cenred didn't think he was likely to get any and flinched as he heard a crow. Looking up it flitted off, and he knew it wasn't Thor, but that didn't mean that Thor didn't know exactly what they were doing. Cenred was contemplating that as Lancelot jogged up behind him.

"Hey!"

"Woah! Don't do that!" Cenred said as he turned to glare at Lancelot.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, I just find crows a little weird now."

"Is it Merlin's?" Lancelot asked, eyeing the bird as it settled on a branch.

"No, he'll be with Balinor. The damn thing was on my battlements the entire time he was at my castle, even before Merlin arrived. Cyan was with Merlin. When you look around, there are so many of the damn things, it makes you wonder."

"That someone could be keeping an eye on us, not just Thor."

"There is more to Thor, and Cyan, that meet the eye. Have you ever seen a dark haired wolf with blue eyes?"

"No, and he matches Merlin doesn't he?"

"Exactly, oh, rose hips," Cenred said disappearing off into a bush and he put the sword back into his belt to yank a few of the plump red berries off the tree, selecting them carefully and using his empty dagger sheath to store them. Lancelot looked at him curiously.

"Balinor uses them in a tonic for Merlin," Cenred explained as he finished tucking them away. "If I can find some goatweed and mint then I can make it for him. It's supposed to settle his moods apparently, although it might be the Balinor making it for him that settles him rather than the actual tonic."

"Do you know how to make it?"

"I've seen Balinor enough times," Cenred said frowning uncertainly.

"Gaius probably knows it, any parts you're not sure on he can probably help out with."

"Good point, the mood Merlin is in I probably need to get it right, I need to find the other ingredients first, do you know what mint and goatweed look like?"

Lancelot frowned. "Vaguely."

"If you think you see some let me know," Cenred said, looking around, then he froze, at the same time that Lancelot did. Both of them moved slowly, listening to the sounds out in the forest, with a curt signal from Lancelot they both skulked off into the undergrowth. Lancelot ducked down and moved deeper into the brush, which was clearly the strangers plan. Lancelot jumped at the sound of swords crashing together. He forgot stealth and ran through the woods, jumping a log and almost running into someone as they fell backwards. Lancelot ducked down and met the oncoming sword as the man attacked. He knocked it aside, turning to face the angry man. Lancelot clashed swords again and then as Cenred moved in Lancelot knocked the man aside to prevent Cenred from striking a killing blow. Lancelot pushed Cenred back, thinking that he would meet less resistance from someone who was, at least temporarily, on his side. However, Cenred looked furious and the other man was the one who backed off, confused by the turn of events. Lancelot slammed his sword against Cenred's again.

"Cenred, enough!"

The order made the king pause, and the stranger lunged forward again. Lancelot turned to meet him, but he wasn't the target. Cenred was. Lancelot went flying under the sheer rage of the man's attack and Cenred fell back under the onslaught. Lancelot gasped for breath and slowly got to his feet, wondering what the hell was going on. Cenred ducked, rolling under a blow and using the hilt of the sword gave the man a brutal blow on the back of the knee sending him pitching forward, slamming against a fallen tree and tangling into the undergrowth. The man rolled over, scrabbling for his sword, almost wincing as Cenred again moved in for the kill, only for Lancelot to block the blow inches from the man's head.

"Don't! Back off!"

The king's eyes bore into Lancelot's, who met the gaze with a calm look. The stranger lay on the floor, watching the pair of them carefully.

"I thought we were supposed to be scouting for dangers," Cenred growled.

"If you don't recognise this man then he won't be part of your army."

"Not necessarily," Cenred told him.

"The fact that he is bleeding means that he isn't."

"He attacked me!"

"You ordered every member of my village slaughtered," the man growled. Cenred's eyes dropped, looking at him.

"How did you survive then?"

The man snarled and shifted, his hand moving across the floor to reach for his sword. Realising he was vulnerable if he stayed with his sword locked against Lancelot's Cenred relaxed and stepped away. It made the stranger pause and look from Lancelot to Cenred uncertainly. Lancelot turned and held his hand out, offering it to the stranger to help him up onto his feet. After a long pause, the silence filled with the sound of all three of them breathing heavily, the stranger lifted his hand and met Lancelot's, allowing himself to be pulled onto his feet. Bringing up a hand he touched the wound on his arm, the cut was jagged and looking around he realised he had ripped his arm on the branch as he fell.

For a moment they stood still, none of the trio prepared to move. In the end Lancelot made the first move, holding his hand out in greeting.

"I'm Lancelot."

"Percival."

"I presume you know who he is?" Lancelot said nodding at Cenred. Percival nodded, his eyes boring into Cenred. Cenred looked back steadily. Percival broke the gaze to glare at Lancelot.

"And you're with him?"

"Not entirely by choice," Lancelot said. "It's a complicated situation. I'm actually manservant to Prince Arthur of Camelot."

Percival blinked. "What is Camelot doing allied to him?"

"Like I said, it's complicated."

"I can make it less so," Percival offered, glaring at Cenred.

"Unfortunately that won't work," Lancelot said, stepping between the two men, putting his back to Cenred, who rolled his eyes and wandered off, having just found a patch of goatweed as he had ducked into the undergrowth, he went and yanked up a few stems. Percival watched him with furious eyes.

"Why were you travelling this way?" Cenred asked as he finished foraging in the undergrowth. Percival glared at him, but he answered.

"I was making my way to Camelot, when I changed direction."

"Why?" Cenred demanded.

Percival shrugged. "I don't know, I just did."

"Is that important?" Lancelot asked. Cenred shrugged.

"It seems to happen at interesting moments," Cenred mused, jumping as a crow call echoed through the woods. "Very interesting moments."

"I heard your army was marching on Camelot," Percival said.

"It did," Cenred said. Percival scowled, his shoulders tensing. Lancelot again stepped between them, breaking the eye contact. He turned to face Percival.

"You had better come with us, at least talk to Arthur."

"The prince?" Percival said. He didn't sound entirely trusting, his eyes flickering back towards Cenred.

"It's probably better that he explains this," Lancelot said, putting a hand on Percival's shoulder to guide him back down the trail. Cenred watched, rolled his eyes and followed them, eyes still scanning the tangled undergrowth for any sign of mint.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

He was, in the end, successful. When they returned Lancelot carefully introduced Percival to Arthur and the other knights. Cenred went past them, seeing Merlin and Gwaine sat together on the far side of the room, asleep. As he stepped closer, Cenred frowned and as the knights turned to look at him, on hearing Percival's story, they all jumped as Cenred swore loudly, dumping the herbs on a nearby table that Arthur had uncovered.

"Gwaine!" he yelled as he extracted Merlin from Gwaine's side, Cenred followed that up by giving Gwaine a sharp crack on the head with his hand. It sent Gwaine pitching sideways as Cenred ignored him shaking Merlin gently.

"Merlin? Merlin, wake up!"

It was gentler than the blow he'd given Gwaine but he followed the shaking by smacking Merlin on the cheek, which snapped a stunned Gwaine to attention.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him!" Cenred yelled.

"He was just sleeping, I was just resting my eyes," Gwaine said. Cenred snorted, very gently laying Merlin down on the floor. Arthur blinked as he looked at him, having moved closer and now saw what had roused Cenred. Merlin was pale, almost green, but his lips had taken on a faintly blue tinge. Cenred put his hand against Merlin's cheek.

"He's cold," Cenred said, leaning down he put his head down on Merlin's chest. The faint tapping of heels made him lift his head and he looked at Gwen. "Get Gaius, now!"

Taking one look at Merlin she went to do as she was told, running frantically down the corridor to the small kitchen they had found. Cenred put his cheek to Merlin's mouth, feeling the air as he gave a short, shallow breath. He was breathing regularly, but it was too slow to be normal. Moving his head he put it back down on Merlin's chest.

"What's the matter with him?"

"His heartbeat it really slow, and his breathing isn't much better." Cenred brought his head up and felt Merlin's skin again. "And he's so cold! Are there any blankets?"

There was a pause as they looked around at each other, Arthur ran back and grabbed the sheet that he had yanked off the table, dragging it back across the room. Leon started to shed his cloak, unclasping it as he rushed over, wadding the material up as he knelt down by Merlin's head and carefully used his cloak as a pillow. Olwen and Rupert followed his lead, wrapping their cloaks around Merlin before Arthur put the sheet over him. Cenred very carefully held Merlin's head and lifted one of his eyelids. He tensed and then let go.

"What?" Arthur asked tersely. Gaius and Gwen came running in. Cenred looked up at the physician.

"You'd better look at this."

"What happened to him?"

"I have no idea," Cenred said, "but look."

He again carefully peeled Merlin's eyelid back, his eyes had rolled up in his head but there was enough to see that his iris' were flashing with gold streaks. Gaius' eyes widened.

"Sorcery," Arthur hissed.

"Who's though," Cenred said. "I've never see Merlin do anything like this before."

"Could it be Morgause? She got an enchantment on Gwen, could she have done something similar to Merlin," Lancelot asked. "If we lose him we lose a fairly substantial advantage."

He shrugged as Arthur gave him a sharp look.

"But how, she's not been left alone with him."

"He was in the dungeon," Gwaine said.

"Morgause didn't come near him, Morgana came down once, but that was it. He was only in there for a day, and he was next to the knights," Leon said.

"She could have done something at any time," Gwen said. "Morgana put something in my wine, could Morgause have done something similar."

"Merlin's senses should be attuned to any type of magic, he would have sensed it," Gaius said.

"And if it was Morgause surely he would have put up some sort of fight," Cenred reasoned. "Not that the person minding him was likely to notice!"

"I think I might have, although, we might not need to worry that much," Gwaine said, staring to a point a few metres away.

"Why?" Cenred demanded following the gaze and gasping. A short distance away, lying on his side, body heaving with low, slow breaths lay Cyan.

"I think Cyan might be with him."

Lancelot moved tentatively over to the wolf, looking at him carefully. Cenred glared at Gwaine and got up leaving Merlin to his care as he went over to Cyan and tentatively knelt by his head. He exhaled heavily and reached out, pausing a short distance from the wolf's head before taking the risk and easing the wolf's eye open.

"Is that a wolf?" Percival asked, momentarily forgotten as they dealt with Merlin.

"Yes," Arthur murmured. "He's Merlin's."

Cenred gritted his teeth as he peeled open Cyan's eye, half expecting the wolf to launch up and snap at him. As tame as the wolf seemed, it was only Merlin and Balinor that were truly comfortable with him. Cenred however saw the flashes in Cyan's eyes and quickly released the beast.

"He's the same," Cenred said, he slowly stood up and looked from Cyan to Merlin. Then he looked at Gaius. "Is there anything that could possibly snap them out of this?"

"There is a potion that might, it has some strong ingredients though, I'd need to find some deadly nightshade."

"There was some growing down the track," Cenred told him, looking very resigned in saying so.

"I should be able to find the other things I need as well, but I should warn you it's risky, it can shock to the point of stopping the heart."

"Then we can't, surely?" Arthur said, eyes wide, looking at Gaius and then at Cenred. He looked lastly to Gwaine, who was eyeing Cenred carefully.

"How long will it take to make?" Cenred asked.

"If I find the ingredients, maybe an hour," Gaius said. "Perhaps a little longer."

Cenred clenched his jaw as he debated, moving back to kneel beside Merlin, brushing Merlin's hair gently off his forehead. He didn't respond to the touch and a flicker of pain crossed Cenred's face.

"Make it, I'll make a decision once it's ready."

"It will stay potent for a while," Gaius said nervously. Cenred looked up and nodded.

"I'll help," Gwen said to Gaius.

Cenred looked back down at Merlin. He had promised Balinor that he would look after him. It was his decision to make. Simply because perhaps, no one else wanted to make it.


	23. P2 Chapter 11 Part Two End

**Although I do appreciate all the reviews I get and read them with interest, they are always helpful; I must thank Ecri for the sudden but flattering and long review I got. And to help clarify things for Tiana, yes Merlin is childish, but he is, at this point in the story, physically almost twenty. His mind, moving with the timeline is younger, not past puberty. Hints are in there, and I've tried to add a few at the beginning of this chapter, I often try and follow what people say in reviews if they don't understand something. I always put it into the story to help, and if there are any hints as to how you want it to carry on, I always take them on board. **

**I don't often add notes, but that doesn't mean to say I'm not listening. ;-) ...**

Merlin couldn't quite work out how he'd got to the forest. It seemed a rather familiar stretch as he wandered down the path. He didn't entirely know how he knew it was a path, the trees and undergrowth stretched out in his way, nature determined to encroach on any intruders. Merlin brushed past them, knowing where he was going, even if he didn't know where he was. The air was damp, filled with droplets of mist so it was almost impossible to see any distance ahead of him. Looking around Merlin realised that he was alone, he had wandered off without the others, but that seemed fine as well. Merlin paused and considered that strange thought, he was almost never alone. There had always been mother, and the bad men with their dark, malevolent eyes on him, then father, who had never left him, not voluntarily. Cenred and Gwaine had become fairly constant in his life too.

There had only been that horrible time after the men had attacked. Merlin had been in the forest then, with only Cyan, feeling hungry, and cold and alone, despite the comfort of his best friend. Now the only feeling Merlin had was a calm weightlessness and he smiled as a shadow moved in the mist ahead of him. He was so familiar with it he recognised it immediately. Cyan trotted up to him, tongue lolling out of his mouth, displaying his sharp, white teeth, which Merlin had never feared even if others did. Merlin saw that they treated Cyan carefully, with respect, seeing the power and aggression in him. Merlin just saw his playmate, whom he had known as a pup, Merlin himself being not much different despite his body entering adulthood, his mind was years behind.

"Hello," Merlin said, crouching to hug Cyan who bounded into his arms. Merlin ran his fingers into the thick dark fur that was also glistening with moisture. Cyan panted into his ear before wriggling free of Merlin and bounding off. Getting up Merlin followed, looking around in interest, eyes widening as he stepped free of the vegetation and the trees thinned out. Carefully negotiating the tree roots Merlin stood on the edge of the lake. His stomach turned, a little patch of cold forming in his belly as he looked at the place where Cyan had been roughly dropped in the shallow water, bound up in a net. The little boat bobbed against the nearby jetty as if trying to get his attention. Cyan trotted down to it, pushing his nose against the boat and jerking back as it shifted again, his ears flattening back before he looked up at Merlin, Cyan then pricking his ears in anticipation.

Merlin chewed on his lower lip looking out across the eerily still water. The mist remained thick, but encased within it he could see the dark silhouette of the broken down castle. A frown crossed over his face, staring at the island, knowing what was there. There was no doubt he was supposed to travel over there. That was why he was in the forest and travelling in the direction. The feeling stirred within him. Merlin hadn't ever really recognised it, a sudden restlessness that started in his chest and spread itself out across his body, his magic rippling under his skin. Something was calling to him, and his instinct wanted to obey. He had followed it before and Merlin got the feeling it was important now, but the place he knew he needed to go was not one with good memories.

Cyan gave an uncertain rumble which drew Merlin's attention. The wolf jogged off the jetty and came to stand next to him, opening his jaws and taking Merlin's hand gently, still giving low growls. Merlin looked down at him and Cyan's bright eyes met his, conveying need and trust. Cyan released his grip and licked Merlin's hand, before putting his head underneath Merlin's palm.

"I'm scared," Merlin said, almost to the empty air. There was no answer, the stillness of the mist and lake remained. Merlin glanced behind him, to the forest, unsurprised at the thickness of the mist that had closed around the forest. Cyan brushed against him, pushing his bulk against Merlin's legs, forcing him to take a staggering step towards the boat. It could be the only reason he was there, to go to the island, but Merlin didn't have good memories of the last time he was here, without father, and he had committed that horrible act. He took another step and Cyan brushed past him, trotting onto the jetty, turning to wait for Merlin.

The little craft looked terribly fragile to Merlin as he sat himself on the edge of the jetty, and carefully put his feet it. It wobbled as he increased his weight onto his feet and he slipped forward, crashing into the boat in an ungainly fashion, gripping the side as the little craft dipped in the water. It rocked again as Cyan hopped in, and Merlin gave a whimper of nerves as a wave of water surged into the boat. He hung on tightly for a moment while it settled again and then he looked around. The boat stayed by the edge of the lake and Merlin frowned as he remembered Nimueh had used magic to get the craft moving, but he couldn't remember what enchantment she had used. Merlin gazed at the island and pointed.

"Go there," he ordered.

Magic surged up in him, he could feel it dancing under his skin and there was the familiar little surge of power, a warmth washing out from his ribcage. The boat started to glide across the water, sending ripples out across the calm surface. Merlin looked around, gazing at the water as the waves rode out from the boat. He leant forward, peering over the edge, quite certain that he saw something moving in the depths of the water, but as soon as he thought he had seen them, they were gone. Merlin guessed they were just tricks of the light, or maybe fish. Father had taken him fishing on occasion, it had been nice sat there, by the stream quietly waiting for the fish to take the bait. And if Merlin got tired, he had curled up against his father and gone to sleep, Cyan also snuggling against him to keep him warm.

Merlin felt quite sad as he remembered that. A feeling was slowly dawning on him that things were not going to go back. Perhaps he had always known, when they had packed up and left the cave, carefully storing things, putting them away so reverently, that they were never going to return. It was the end of something, an event that started with Arthur.

Now things were different. Merlin had never felt responsible for anything, or anyone. He had never needed to. At the beginning there was mother, the memory of her making Merlin feel unquestionably sad, but it was just a memory. He was mourning someone he didn't quite remember. There were snippets, her name, and the light smell of her which was sometimes sharp with sweat where she had worked so hard; the rough, calloused, feel of her hands as she had touched him. He knew those things, but they seemed so remote.

Then there had been the bad men, brutal and rough, hardly caring if he was alive or dead. He was just there, a thing that belonged to them, to be used as and when they wanted him. And from that, he had found his father, and from that, so many others. They all cared about him, Merlin knew that, and he loved them all back with a feeling that sometimes baffled and frightened him. He knew it meant he would have to do things to help them, some of them bad things, but he had to do them even if he didn't like it. It was probably best not to enjoy doing bad things, Merlin thought.

All the ideas gently rippled around his head, like the waves of the lake, as the boat slowly drifted to the island, coming to a neat stop by the wooden structure that jutted out from the bank. Cyan hopped up, making the boat rock again and Merlin carefully crawled out, not daring to stand up and step over. Once he was safely on solid ground he looked up at the tall, imposing structure still shrouded in the damp mist. Very slowly Merlin got to his feet and followed Cyan up the pathway, clambering up the steps that were overgrown and mossy.

It didn't look any different from the way Merlin remembered it. He wondered if it had always looked like that, if it had ever been a proper building, or had it always been broken. The stones certainly gave the impression of a tumbledown existence. Merlin walked through the archway and carefully stepped over the mossy gravestones that jutted out from the thick grass. On reaching the centre he put his hand on the altar, feeling the vibration of the magic that lingered, infused into the stones, and the soil, and even the plants. The island itself was nothing more than magic. Looking around, Merlin couldn't see any evidence of the harm he had done, when he had unleashed his anger at Morgause.

"Hello Merlin."

He spun round in shock, eyes widening as he stared at the person who spoke. She smiled at him, looking amused at the expression on his face. Merlin blinked, staring at Nimueh in shock. She looked just as he remembered her.

His first few steps were tentative as he closed the distance between them. Then he picked up speed, running towards her, stumbling on a protruding stone, nearly falling onto his knees, but he recovered to keep running and fling himself on her. Merlin wrapped his arms tightly around her neck, clinging to her, half expecting her to suddenly vanish, finding her existence as insubstantial as the mist. However, she was there, putting her own arms around his waist to hug him back, Merlin felt the pressure and it only made him cling harder, and the first few tears leaked from his eyes before he started to sob. Nimueh's hand ran up and down his back in a soothing gesture.

"All right Merlin, it's all right."

"I'm sorry." Became vaguely comprehensible though the sobs. Nimueh let Merlin cling for a while longer before gently pulling him off. Merlin went, but latched a hand around one of her wrists and the other patted over her shoulders, hair and down over her body, Merlin hardly comprehending the intimacy of the touch as he made sure that she was really there.

"Merlin?"

Merlin's eyes locked with hers and Nimueh smiled again.

"It's all right Merlin."

"But I hurt you."

"Yes, you did," Nimueh said gently, and Merlin's face crumpled even further. "But it's all right Merlin, I'm still here."

Merlin's frantic scrabbling reduced itself to rubbing his fingertips against her collar bone, and he still clung to her wrist with his other hand.

"You were gone."

"I wasn't gone Merlin, I was still here, in this place. I had to move on, and only you could help me. I'm sorry, I know you thought that you had done something bad, but it wasn't."

"It was, I got angry, and I wanted to hurt Morgause."

"I know, and she made the power hit me, not you. But it was always going to be me. It had to be me Merlin, otherwise we would have lost before we even started."

"Started what?"

"This fight, helping Arthur, getting you to your destiny. That's what this is all about Merlin. You are the only piece that is missing, you are the only piece that matters, the pathways have shown me that. It has shown me what you alone can achieve."

"Like what?" Merlin asked, sounding a little sulky. Nimueh smiled at him, and moved her arm so Merlin would release his grip and she could take his hand, she leant forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"There is so much, but we don't have that much time, you're friends are worried about you."

Merlin frowned and looked around. "I left them, in the castle, I was walking, in the woods, how did I get there?"

"I brought you, it's like a special dream. You're sleeping in the castle and your mind, your spirit is here, like I am."

Merlin prodded her. "But you're real."

"Only because where we are is real, to us, but not to everyone else. Come here, you need to listen."

"Like lessons?" Merlin asked. Nimueh turned to talk to him over her shoulder as she led him across the open area.

"Yes, Merlin, like the lessons we had."

"I liked that," Merlin said as Nimueh drew him to the bench which lay close to one wall on the higher area of ground at the back of the ruin. They had sat there before, and Nimueh had taught him things. Merlin sat down next to her and Cyan, who had been following along snuffled his nose against Merlin and then Nimueh who reached up to pet the wolf's head. He lifted his nose and licked at her wrist, murmuring in delight as she scratched his ears.

"Good boy, you brought him just at the right time."

Cyan's tail wagged making his entire back end sway and he licked at Nimueh again.

"He brought me?" Merlin asked.

"Cyan's special, you know that Merlin, don't you."

Merlin nodded, and announced proudly. "No one else has a wolf."

"No, they don't Merlin, but that's not what makes Cyan special. Now, you need to know this Merlin, you have to look and listen."

Merlin nodded and looked down as Nimueh opened her hand.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Percival sat quietly, staying out of the way while he took in the sights and sounds around him. All of it was necessary to take in, but the one part that kept his interest was Cenred. He had been looking for this man for so long, he had made himself into a fighter, a mercenary, so he could join this man's army, and get to him. Cenred had killed everyone Percival had ever known, he had wanted to repay the kindness. Now it appeared he had a way.

He looked at the sleeping boy, the one that all of them seemed so worried about, something to do with magic. Percival didn't care about that, he cared about nothing but watching Cenred's reaction to the situation, and how worried he was about Merlin. The king sat close to Merlin, he had been holding that vigil since they had returned. It had taken the old physician a little longer than expected to get the ingredients together, whatever he was concocting was boiling now. In his scheme of things it made no difference to Percival if Merlin got out of his odd sleep or not, either way, his fate was sealed. He was precious to Cenred, and for that reason alone, Merlin could die. It would affect the king, and that was all Percival cared about. His vengeance had been years in the making, and he hadn't expected it to be this easy. He had been travelling to Camelot in the hope of meeting up with the invading army and working his way in. Now he didn't even need to get through the ranks of soldiers. Instead there was nothing more than a rag-tag bunch of people.

It didn't matter that one of them was the future king of Camelot, who seemed just as concerned about Merlin as Cenred did. In fact Percival felt like avenging himself on the whole lot of them. They were taking Cenred's side, letting him be part of this group. He was even going to help them take back Camelot. It was almost laughable, Percival thought, and not right. After all he had done, after the story Percival had told, Cenred was still there, his gaze fixed on Merlin as he slept, gently brushing his hair back off his forehead, and touching the smooth skin of Merlin's cheek, talking to him gently to try and coax him awake.

There was no satisfaction in killing Cenred, Percival decided. It was Merlin he would have to take.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"It's an apple," Merlin said looking at the ripe fruit in Nimueh's hand. He didn't marvel at the fact that she had produced it from nowhere. She could do magic and she was clever, Merlin accepted that easily. It was normal for him.

"Yes, Merlin, and what can you see?"

"An apple."

"What colour is it?"

"Green, and a bit red," Merlin said, pointing to the faint blush of pink on one side.

"What about inside?"

"White."

"How do you know that Merlin?" Nimueh asked.

"Because I've eaten them."

"Okay, so you've seen what the inside is like. This apple is a bit like the world around us."

Merlin frowned, looking at the fruit and then around at the ruin they were sat in. Then he looked at her and slowly shook his head.

"How?" he asked. Nimueh talked like this sometimes, she had when they had started his lessons, his training as she had called it. Some of it seemed silly, Merlin didn't need words to make fire or move things, but he had like sitting there and talking, and doing magic in a way he had never done before, with someone who understood it. Father knew some things, but not enough to really train him properly.

"If this is the world, the outside is what people see, what everyone can see. That's the reality, the people, the animals, villages, the trees and rivers. But if you take that away…"

Nimueh made a small gesture with her hand and a section of the skin started to unpeel itself from the apple, removing the top layer, exposing the white flesh underneath.

"And here, under the skin of the world, in every living being, in the ground, in the stones, there are things that can't be seen. It's all still here, but it's hidden, only those that are blessed may witness it."

"Like me, and you."

"Yes, when people come to the lake, not everyone can see the island. To them it's not there, even though it is."

"It's under the surface," Merlin said, pointing to the loose bit of apple peel, touching the underside gently. "Just there."

"Yes, that's what happened to me. I'm old Merlin, I have served my time in the mortal world, but I needed you to do what you did. Things should have happened differently, but the forces in this world had to work with what they had."

Merlin frowned. "You don't look old."

"Looks can be very deceiving. I have changed over the years, it has served my purpose, and every skin I have taken has done the same thing."

"You're like the apple too," Merlin said. Nimueh smiled.

"So are you, no one sees your magic unless you show them."

"Mother said never to do that, that I could get into trouble if someone saw me."

Nimueh reached out and took his hand. "That is true, but now you need it. To help Arthur, you will need to use it."

"Even to do bad things?"

"That doesn't make you bad, Merlin. What you did, didn't make you bad."

Merlin nodded sadly, staring down at Cyan, who was resting his head on Merlin's thigh while he sat between his legs.

"You're not angry with me?"

Nimueh coughed out a light laugh. "No of course not, I knew it. Before you were even born I knew it would come to pass, but the mists protected you from my gaze. That was the way it was meant to be. We should have hated each other, you and I."

"No, I like you," Merlin said, his eyes widening in shock. Nimueh smiled.

"I like you too, Merlin. But things haven't happened as they should. Jarl should never have come even close to your village, but things changed that. See inside, inside the apple."

Nimueh waved her hand again and the apple split, cracking open to show the tough core and the pips lodged inside. One shifted and tumbled out onto the grass at their feet. Cyan shifted, looking up at the apple as well, ears moving as Nimueh continued to talk.

"There is something deeper, forces that none of us can control. Fate, destiny, even gods maybe; people name it, but it has no name, it's just life, energy that makes life. Like the pips inside, they fall to the ground and will grow something new. You were new Merlin, you were made for a good reason, look…"

Merlin frowned as Nimueh pointed to the white flesh of the apple.

"Look at what's happening."

"It's turning brown," Merlin said.

"That is what happens when the world sees too much of what should be hidden, it turns bad, and it corrupts, affecting everything around it."

"The skin stops that."

"Yes, Merlin it does. Uther did us something of a service, too much of one, now the magic struggles for breath, and that stifles the inside, which is where all this life comes from."

"He's a bad man," Merlin said.

"Not completely Merlin," Nimueh said gently. "But someone was needed to restore the balance of the world. The mistake needed to be rectified, even if it had to happen in the first place. Then it could be fixed by someone. Someone was chosen for this task, and he would have another to help him."

"That's me, and Arthur," Merlin said.

"Yes," Nimueh agreed. "Someone born with magic, and someone born of magic, both of you in perfect balance."

Merlin looked at the apple that was gently spinning in the air. Cyan was watching it with wide blue eyes, his head moving to follow the rotation. Merlin tilted his head and thought about it.

"We make it better," Merlin said lifting his hand and concentrating. The flesh of the apple slowly started to knit back together, and the peel curled back over the flesh, wrapping itself gently across the scar and melding back together.

"That was the plan, and something stopped that, fate changed, and destiny no longer had any meaning. You were to grow up safely, and you would be drawn to Camelot."

"How?"

"There is a dragon in Camelot, the only dragon. It didn't matter how it happened, he would always call you. A Dragonlord can call a dragon, but a dragon can call to a Dragonlord, that is the balance of your nature."

"I'm not a Dragonlord, father is."

"But the potential is there, Kilgharrah knows who you are. Fate took you away, it used Jarl to do so, and destiny used Balinor to bring you back. I was searching for you, I couldn't find you, and so I went to ask the dragon. He knew where you were. It was simple, I knew the answer then. If I unleashed Kilgharrah, then Balinor would come, so would you. You and Arthur always had to meet, you were always destined to be together, his path is yours."

"Does Arthur know?"

"No, in a way, he is bound to you, he is the servant of your destiny. Although his own is great, it could never happen without you. He will bring Albion together and restore the balance of magic, but not without you."

"He helped me get away from the bad men," Merlin said.

"Yes, although he doesn't understand why he did what he did. He knew it was right."

"I hadn't done anything wrong."

"No you had not, and then you were so lost and confused, I had to help. That was my destiny in part, my most important role was to help bring Arthur into the world, the Once And Future King."

"But his mother died."

"I know and I regret that," Nimueh said. "But again, there was no fighting that fate, destiny would not allow that. It is special to escape that, I could not, nor Igraine but your father did."

"How?" Merlin demanded.

"He should have died, when you ever met, when you would be ready to become a Dragonlord. However, there was a balance to be paid, your mother should never have been taken from you, and she was, the debt was levelled with Balinor. Cenred's men should have killed him when you were with Arthur."

"Cyan saved him," Merlin said, wrapping his arms around the wolf. Nimueh reached out to pet Cyan.

"He knew what to do, he was given to you, like Thor was. They were gifts to you, to help you."

"Will father be all right?"

"He will be well, Merlin, for as long as you need him."

"I will always need father!" Merlin announced vehemently. Nimueh smiled.

"He will still have to grow old, and die. But have no fear, despite the changes that happen and how much so many things hang in the balance, you will always have what you need. You control so much, but you will have to act, when it is necessary."

Merlin nodded and looked at the apple still floating in the air. He stared at it thoughtfully.

"I'm hungry, can I eat it?"

Nimueh put her head back and chortled with laughter.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The atmosphere was reaching crisis point. Gaius had boiled and then cooled the potion. It needed to cool down naturally to allow some of the herbs to increase in potency. Cenred didn't argue with that, Gaius was the only expert on medicine and sorcery they had. Instead Cenred checked Merlin's breathing, and heart. Both were still steady but unnaturally slow. He did the same to Cyan, whose condition also remained the same. The king had to do something while he waited.

He was responsible for Merlin. Cenred had taken Merlin and Balinor in, for Morgause at the beginning. But over the time he had been with Merlin Cenred knew there had been a dramatic shift in perception. In the way he saw things around him and in how he saw himself. That was the most significant.

Cenred hadn't thought there was much beyond what he was. He enjoyed violence, or at least he thought he had, and he had now and again enjoyed Morgause, thinking himself in love with her. And it seemed good to ally himself with her, and join her in taking down Camelot. She had good enough reason to, and Cenred had his own. Petty as they were.

Then Merlin had come along.

There was something about Merlin's reflective blue eyes that had horrified him, but left him unable to turn away. Because if nothing else, Merlin was unjudgemental, however much he questioned, it was not to form an opinion, it was because he really wanted to know. He was a child, in an adult, desperate for information, wanting to understand the world around him, like any developing human being.

Part of that questioning had turned into an internal debate in Cenred, demanding to know who he was and what he could be. He controlled one of the largest kingdoms, but he had to admit to himself he didn't have a great handle on it. People feared him, he got what he wanted, when he demanded it, and his troops were loyal; had been loyal, he corrected himself, but that didn't seem to mean anything. Morgause had known he wouldn't be able to resist the offer of the cup, despite Merlin's influence. With an immortal army there were endless possibilities. He didn't have to settle with just Camelot, he could have taken all of the kingdoms, he could have even got it right, with Merlin's help.

But Morgause had no doubt known, when she enchanted the cup and the men had bled into it, they became hers. Cenred had no control over them. All he could do now was follow the orders of the upstart prince of Camelot. Cenred now dreaded what fate faced his men when they solved this problem. Could he get them back, and if so, what the hell did he do with them then?

Perhaps he ought to deal with one thing at a time, he told himself sternly. He had stayed by Merlin's side, looking for the slightest change, but Merlin remained there, deep within the enchanted sleep. The cloaks and blanket were packed around him, but it had done nothing to warm Merlin up, his skin was still cold. His condition remained steady. Merlin didn't seem to be fighting this, and neither was Cyan. There was more to the animals than met the eye, Cenred understood that, but he didn't feel entirely inclined to trust them.

"My Lord?" Gaius said, approaching carefully. The rest of them remained scattered around the room, lingering almost uselessly because they had nothing else to do. All of them turned to look at Gaius, then at Cenred. All eyes focused on the vial in Gaius' hand. Cenred sighed and glanced out of the window, it had been hours that Merlin had been like this. Gaius had warned Cenred of the risks, the shock of the potion could stop Merlin's heart. He balanced that thought with the fact that Merlin's heart had remained strong and steady, despite the painful slow beat. He was strong enough to handle it, Cenred was sure of that. Merlin had proved his strength time and again.

He held his hand out for the potion.

"I don't think there is any other choice," Cenred said. "It's been too long."

He took the potion in one hand, holding the vial carefully, with the other he lifted Merlin, taking a firm grip on the back of his neck to angle him. Gaius crouched down and eased Merlin's mouth open, then after one glance from Cenred backed off. Cenred had to take full responsibility for this. Even Gwaine hadn't argued with the fact that it was Cenred's decision, even though Balinor had asked both of them to look after Merlin. Somehow, it seemed oddly right to Gwaine, but he wasn't sure why. Instinct just demanded it of him.

"Is this going to work?" Arthur asked Gaius.

"In theory," Gaius said nervously.

Cenred gave a heavy sigh. "Stay out of this Pendragon."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Do you understand Merlin? Everything I've told you."

Merlin nodded, looking at the symbol on the palm of his hand. It was a funny thing, drawn in red. Merlin traced his fingers over it. He had eaten the apple and they had planted the pips in a little cluster against the back wall of the ruin, and had made the seeds grow. The little saplings were tall and straight, their leaves glistening. Merlin felt very proud of them.

"You have to go back now Merlin, everyone is worried about you."

Merlin looked at her sharply. "Can I come back?"

"You'll come back here Merlin, but I might not be here."

"I want you to be here," Merlin said. Nimueh took his hand, holding it tightly.

"I know, but now things are getting put back on the right path, there is no more use for me now."

"Yes, there is."

Nimueh leant over and kissed Merlin on the cheek. "You have to go now Merlin."

As she looked away from him, he turned to follow her gaze to see Cyan disappearing into the mist, then the dark shadow turned and bounded back, pausing on the edge of the thickening cloud. Merlin stood up, legs wobbling as he felt reluctant to leave, but something pulled at him and he took a few steps forward. Then he suddenly turned and ran back to Nimueh. He flung his arms around her neck and leaning down planted a clumsy, heavy, kiss on her lips, holding himself there for a few seconds before letting go. He turned around and ran for the mist, following Cyan. The disorientating dampness engulfed him and he was gone.

**END OF PART TWO**


	24. Part 3 Chapter One

Cenred felt a level of dread about what he had to do, but there was no choice, they needed Merlin back. All of them were so focused on the prone young man no one saw Cyan roll and turn, lifting his head. He wasn't noticed until he pushed through and pressed his nose against Cenred's cheek. Cenred froze and blinked, jerking so a little of the liquid splashed onto Merlin's face, running down his cheek. Cenred tilted his head and came nose to muzzle with Cyan, who gave a low gentle rumble and pressed his cold, damp nose into Cenred's neck before drawing back and licking his face. Cyan's tail started to wag and he murmured, giving Cenred another lick.

"Oh thank heaven," Cenred said, handing the vial up to Gaius. Cenred lifted Merlin, wiping his cheek to clear away some of the drops of the potion that had landed on him. Merlin moaned, stirred and then opened his eyes. The iris' were deep gold, flashing as he gasped for air. Then it faded and he sat up, lurching deeper into Cenred's arms.

"Oh!" Merlin said in surprise. Cenred wrapped his arms around him, holding Merlin tightly.

"You're all right, please tell me you're all right Merlin."

Merlin felt slightly surprised but being fond of affection he wrapped his arms around Cenred's neck and clung to him. Cyan snuffled against them, wagging his tail still and licking at Cenred again, something, the king realised, that the wolf had never done before.

"Hello?" Merlin said, confused as the hug went on longer than he anticipated, and was very tight. He wriggled a little so he could pull away from Cenred enough to look at him, frowning in confusion. Merlin reached up to rub his face and frowned as he looked at his fingertips, which were now smeared with a black liquid. Merlin sniffed at it.

"No!" Cenred and Gaius yelled at the same time, terrified that he was going to lick it. Merlin jumped, looking perturbed, but he let Cenred hold him close again.

"What is it?"

"We thought there was something wrong with you Merlin," Arthur said. "You went to sleep and we couldn't wake you up."

"Oh," Merlin said casually. "I had a special dream," he offered in explanation. "Nimueh was there, I didn't hurt her."

Cenred pulled back to look at him. He had heard the name before, it had been mentioned by both Merlin and Balinor. It also came as no surprise to Gwaine, who had also heard the story. But only Gaius made the connection and yelped in surprise.

"Nimueh?"

Merlin looked up at him and nodded. "Yes, she was there, she had to tell me things."

Arthur frowned. "Who's Nimueh?"

Gaius opened his mouth to answer, wondering how and what to tell Arthur.

"She's a sorceress… from Camelot's history…"

"She helped Queen Igraine become pregnant, she used magic," Merlin said helpfully. Arthur looked horrified, he felt it, too many things had happened for him to be able to hide his emotions, and act like a leader.

"What? Gaius?"

The old physician looked uncomfortable. It was all Arthur needed to realise that was the truth. He looked baffled and hurt and he turned on Lancelot angrily, since he was the only person he could take the next part out on.

"That vision of my mother was telling the truth. Morgause told me the truth, my father used magic, and killed my mother!"

"Sire, that was not what happened," Gaius said. Lancelot backed up as Arthur stepped forward, and Lancelot started to calculate how to restrain Arthur, without making him angrier. Leon moved behind Arthur, aiming to assist Lancelot with the venture.

"How can anyone say that? My father killed my mother, I killed my mother."

"No, you didn't," Lancelot said.

"I think in your case it was not deliberate," Gwaine said. Arthur turned on him, eyes blazing with anger.

"What the hell do you know about it?"

"Just what I've been told, your mother died in childbirth and that magic was involved. I hardly think that you are responsible," Gwaine said.

"My father was! Gaius, is it true?"

"Your father asked Nimueh for help, and she warned him of the dangers," Gaius said gently. "To create life, something had to be given back. Not long after you were born, your mother died."

Arthur glared at him, jaw fixing tightly. "And then there was the great purge. Morgause was telling the truth."

"No, she wasn't," Merlin snapped. He extracted himself from Cenred's grip, carefully getting to his feet. Cyan rubbed against him, a deep rumbling coming from the wolf's chest. It made all of them, including Arthur, wary of approaching the youth. Cenred, as he stood up, was the only one who moved closer to Merlin, taking his arm to hold him steady.

"Merlin, how do you know it was Nimueh? What did she look like?" Gaius asked.

"Pretty," Merlin said. "She's got very red lips," he added, turning probably just as red. "She gave me this."

Merlin held up his hand, showing his palm to Gaius. Peering at it Gaius blinked.

"It is Nimueh's mark," Gaius said.

"She could be lying to him," Lancelot said.

"No, she's not. Nimueh's nice!" Merlin snapped. "Things went wrong, the inside made the bad men come and stop what was meant to happen."

"So something happened that hurt my mother."

Merlin shook his head. "No, Nimueh told the king what would happen, and he didn't listen, so Nimueh told Queen Igraine."

Gaius gasped. "Igraine knew?"

Merlin slowly nodded, his eyes drifting in Arthur's direction.

"Yes, Nimueh told her, and offered to help her get rid of the child," Merlin said. Gwaine exhaled a whistle.

"She certainly isn't backwards in coming forwards is she?" Gwaine said.

"Igraine clearly said no," Cenred said. Arthur blinked. Lancelot backed off and Gwen moved closer, taking his hand, and leaning against him. Glancing down at her he saw the look in her eyes, and realised, she entirely understood that decision.

"She could have wanted a child just as much as Uther did," she said.

Merlin nodded. "She asked if she would have time to hold her son, at least once, and she did. The queen died with Arthur in her arms."

Arthur blinked and looked at Gaius. Gaius looked away, but he nodded his head. Very abruptly Arthur's legs went out from under him, he sat on the floor and just stared, his eyes fixed in Merlin's direction, but the focus told all of them that he wasn't really seeing anything.

"Sire!" Lancelot said in concern, crouching on one side of Arthur. Gwen moved to the other, pulling off Arthur's leather glove to take his hand.

"I think she knew the truth, deep down. Arthur had to be born, that part wasn't prevented, and then they tried to stop me," Merlin said, calmly, his voice controlled, as if he was carefully reciting something he had been told. "Without me, nothing could happen."

"What do you mean Merlin?" Lancelot asked.

"That was why the bad men came. The life in the middle, deep down, tried to stop it."

"Stop what, Merlin?" Cenred asked.

"Stop me from finding, and helping, the Once And Future King. He has to unite Albion and bring the balance of magic back to the land."

"The who?" Gwaine asked.

"The Once And Future King," Merlin repeated carefully.

"How do we find this Once And Future King?" Arthur asked sarcastically, gathering himself together and standing up. Cyan gave a low rumble and Arthur blinked as he realised that Merlin's eyes were fixed on him.

"Me? You're talking about me?"

"Yes," Merlin said.

"And I somehow defeat an entire immortal army, take back my own kingdom and unite the rest?"

"Yes," Merlin said.

"Once thing at a time," Cenred said. "How do we defeat an immortal army?"

"Empty the Cup of Life, then the men will…"

"What?" Cenred asked as Merlin faltered, looking at him apologetically.

"They'll die properly."

"Merlin, they're not dead," Gwaine said. Merlin shook his head.

"They're living dead," Merlin said. "When they put their blood into the cup, they died, now they are living dead. They're dead, that's why they can't die, magic animates them."

No one moved for a moment. Merlin was looking at Arthur, waiting patiently for an answer. Arthur stared back. He blinked slowly, trying to make sure something was cleared from his vision before he stared at Merlin again. Merlin looked back, his brows creasing into a frown, but he didn't look away.

"I think we need to sit down for this discussion," Arthur said, he turned and addressed them over his shoulder. All of them got the feeling that Merlin was the main recipient of the words.

"Come and look at this." Arthur paused by the table, putting his hand on it. "This it the meeting place of the old kings, this was the table they used. It was round so that no one person was more important than the next. Sit down."

Arthur took a seat. Merlin, who had moved closer, plonked himself in the seat on Arthur's right. Cenred and Gwaine looked at each other and then Gwaine stepped back to allow Cenred to sit on Merlin's right. Again Gwaine felt a sense of something, so did Cenred by the look of him. He reached out to take Merlin's arm and Cyan wriggled between the two chairs, snuffling against Cenred's hand before he jumped up to rest his front paws on the table.

With a smile Gwaine took his place on the other side of Cenred and then gave his chair up to let Gaius sit down. If they couldn't sit, the rest of the group put themselves in place around the table. Lancelot ended up sat on Arthur's left, with Gwen next to him.

"We stand here, just us, about to take on an army. And we each stand no better than the man next to you, woman as well." Arthur smiled at Gwen, who smiled back. Lancelot frowned for a moment, holding her hand just a little tighter.

"And can we win?" Leon asked.

"Yes," Merlin said looking at Arthur. "If we empty the cup then they will die. They are dead, they died when they put their blood in the cup."

"I killed my entire army, all my men," Cenred said. Cyan rumbled and leant in towards Cenred before dropping his paws off the table and turning around. Cyan came back and put his head on Merlin's leg. Merlin rubbed the space between Cyan's ears.

"That's bad," Merlin agreed.

"Yes, it is Merlin, and unless you have a way to get us though that army we won't be able to do anything. I can sneak us into the castle. I know that place inside out, Morgana couldn't track me, and she probably knows it. But if we make for the cup then it's bound to be protected. If we can't get there, we have better advantages in using the tunnels to get to the dungeon and getting my father out. Yours too, Merlin."

"Yes, I want father." Merlin turned to look at Cenred.

"Did Nimueh tell you a way to fight the army? Is there any way to fight them?" Gaius asked. "Using other magic."

"We need a weapon forged in the breath of a dragon, it can destroy something that is already dead," Merlin said.

"Is there no other way to do it?" Cenred asked.

"No," Merlin said.

"So we could probably safely sneak into the dungeon, but our best bet is getting in and emptying the cup. That's a two fronted attack," Cenred said, glancing at Arthur.

"Well, yeah, but how do we get hold of a weapon like that?" Leon asked.

"Ask Kilgharrah," Merlin said, as if it was obvious. Leon blinked.

"What?"

"We go and ask the dragon, or more accurately, Merlin asks the dragon," Gwaine said.

"But Balinor sent him away, we don't know where the dragon is," Arthur said.

"I can find him," Merlin said.

"You can call him?" Leon asked. Merlin shook his head.

"The power of the Dragonlord only passes from father to son, when the father dies. Merlin won't have the full power of the Dragonlord, but he will have some instinct regarding where Kilgharrah will be," Gaius said.

"The dragons have a cave in the mountain just past the lake," Merlin said. "He'll be there, father told me about it, he said he would show me where it was. The dragons had a nest there."

"Have you heard of that Gaius?" Arthur asked.

"I knew there was a nesting ground close by, but the Dragonlords never revealed any of the locations. With only Kilgharrah left, I don't suppose it matters."

Arthur's jaw tensed, and his eyes darkened, not wanting to comment on anything relating to the Great Purge. Instead he looked at Merlin. Cyan disappeared under the table and reappeared on Merlin's other side, looking up at Arthur, panting and wagging his tail. Merlin ran his fingers through Cyan's fur, while he looked at Arthur.

"So that's settled," Arthur said. He sounded like he was addressing the group, but he was looking at Merlin. "We need to travel to the cave and get the dragon's help."

"That's a long journey, through what is essentially enemy territory," Leon said.

"It's best some of us stay here, a small group can travel stealthily. It might be a good idea to scout the area around the castle, if we consider we might need two days to get to the dragon. With the sword the way back might be a little easier," Arthur said. "We can meet you on the outskirts of Camelot, in four days."

"Are you sure Sire?" Leon said. "If something happens, we may need sorcery."

"Take Gaius with you," Lancelot suggested. "He knows enough."

"I think I'm a little rusty," Gaius said. Lancelot gave him a steady look.

"Not that rusty," Lancelot said. Gaius frowned at him. Arthur looked from one to the other in confusion.

"What is that meant to mean?"

Gaius glowered at Lancelot, who replied with. "I think we need all the help we can get. We have to tell him."

"What do you have to tell me?" Arthur asked, his voice lowering. His eyes flickered downwards as Cyan gave an accompanying rumble.

"There have been a few occasions, when we decided that magic was needed to rectify the situation," Lancelot said, very carefully. The knights were staring at him in shock. Merlin listened with interest, looking at Gaius.

"Such as?"

"The Griffin, Gaius warned me a lance might not be enough, so he strengthened it."

"You used sorcery," Arthur demanded flatly, glaring at Gaius. Merlin frowned, staring at him in disapproval.

"I warned Lancelot, and he thought it was better he took on the beast rather than you risking yourself. I said I would do what I could to help," Gaius said. "There was no guarantee it would work."

"You took that risk?" Arthur snapped.

"There didn't seem much of a choice."

"Any others I should know about?" Arthur demanded. "You two conspiring to use magic?"

"Erm…" Lancelot bit down on his lip. "When your father married the troll."

Cenred snorted loudly and then burst into laughter. "What?"

"It's a long story," Arthur said, voice warning anyone that knew said story, not to tell it.

"We've got four days of travelling," Cenred said in delight. "That's plenty of time. It sounds like a classic. Most of them will do, your own servant making use of sorcery to help the Prince of Camelot."

"That was meant to happen," Merlin said, sounding disapproving. "With me, the inside stopped it."

"What do you mean the inside, Merlin?" Gaius asked. Merlin blinked.

"Nimueh said there was the outside, the skin that everyone can see, and underneath that is magic and things that not everyone can see, and then there's inside, where life and magic come from, like seeds in an apple core, and the things inside made Jarl come to the village, and hurt mother, and took me away."

"Which was what Balinor was talking about," Gwaine said to Cenred. "It wasn't a major event, Jarl went one direction, instead of another, and that caused Merlin to not be where he should be, which was in Camelot, with you." He addressed the last part to Arthur, who looked confused.

"Why would someone with magic come to Camelot? What would impel them to even come close?"

"Ealdor is in the area where I am from. I knew Hunith, I even told Balinor to hide there, when I helped him escape from your father. Maybe that's the connection," Gaius suggested.

"True, and which was a decision that, in essence, created Merlin. Again, it's hardly something that seems particularly important, other than the fact that Merlin is here," Gwaine said.

"He's the most important person alive, it would appear," Cenred said and Merlin beamed at him.

"That's what Nimueh said."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

By the time they had formulated a plan the sky had started to darken, the sun glowing red as it sank over the horizon. Arthur said they would travel at first light. They lay scattered about the room, sleeping on makeshift beds, or sprawling on the floor. Lancelot and Gwen were tucked up in one corner. Gwen resting her head on Lancelot's shoulder, much to Elyan's disapproval. Merlin snuggled on the floor, close to the round table, with Cyan as a pillow, and for warmth.

Cenred lay close by, he had rolled over, so his back was to Merlin. Everyone appeared to be sleeping soundly, apart from the tall man, who silently made his way across the room, moving in the shadows, eyes locked on Merlin's prone form.

The moonlight caught on the metal of the knife, glittering in the soft light and he assessed Merlin's position. He could get to the boy first, but any action he managed would probably wake the sleeping wolf. It wouldn't matter, living beyond his revenge was unimportant, but he had to take something from Cenred. It was only fair, Cenred had taken from him. Merlin was the obvious target. The king had made it quite clear how much he cared for the youth. Even if his victory was short lived it would be enough. As he took another step there was a sound behind him. Percival froze, shifting his grip on the knife as he felt the sword, wondering if he could be swift enough to take the person behind him. As he shifted his weight the point of the sword jabbed harder into his back.

"You won't be able to in time," Lancelot said as he watched Percival's body language. He had watched too many fights, too many training sessions, to not see the reactions, and movement. It had hurt him on occasion, seeing the knights training, while he was often left on the sideline, fetching and carrying. Although Arthur used him often enough, Lancelot was known to be a very good swordsman, one of the best. But being a commoner he was never going to make the ranks of the knights.

Or at least he so he had thought.

"Are you sure of that?" Percival rumbled.

"Yes," Lancelot said. "And I won't let you get to Merlin either."

Percival tensed his shoulders. Lancelot saw it clearly in the moonlight. Percival tilted his head, to bring Lancelot into his view. The big man's jaw was tense, his eyes glittering in the silver light.

"It's the only thing I can do."

"No, it is not," Lancelot said. "Whatever grudge you have against Cenred Merlin is not involved in it. He is innocent."

"Around Cenred no one is innocent for long." Percival shifted his shoulder, Lancelot moved his sword. The bigger man hardly noticed the cut that the tip of Lancelot's sword caused to his arm as he turned to face him. Lancelot kept the sword up, while they eyed each other steadily.

"I don't think that's true of Merlin," Lancelot said. "And no one here will let you hurt him."

"Cenred has to suffer."

"And what about Merlin, what has he done to you?"

Percival gave a mirthless laugh. "Camelot kills his kind."

"Yet, he will risk his life to protect it. And I don't think Arthur will allow the situation to come to that conclusion. It is far more complicated than that."

"All this talk of destiny. Do you believe it?"

Lancelot gave a faint smile. "I'm not sure of that."

"You're going to believe some silly little boy, who knows nothing of suffering."

Lancelot's smile turned to something harder, his eyes boring into Percival's.

"Merlin's suffered more than any of us. Slavers slaughtered his mother when he was no more than ten, and they took him captive. He suffered that for eight years. In many ways he's still the child he was when they kidnapped him. It is no more than two years ago that he escaped."

Percival blinked, his head turning to glance at Merlin, who was sleeping soundly. So was Cyan. Lancelot guessed both of them were exhausted from whatever had happened to them earlier that day.

"Let this go, whatever you feel has no bearing on this situation. The only thing that matters now is saving Camelot."

Percival gave a humourless smile. "Is that the knight's code?"

"A little bit, you're a knight as well now."

"For how long, the king will never stand by that."

"Arthur will," Lancelot said with deep conviction. Percival rolled his eyes and looked away, his gaze moving to Merlin again. "I know Arthur better than anyone."

"You're just his servant."

Lancelot's face flickered with another smile. "I've also saved his life, been the only person to ever knock him off his horse in a joust, and I am the person he listens to more than anyone. Whether Arthur realises it or not, I know it. I came to Camelot to become a knight. Being a servant was hardly my ideal, but it felt good enough, I fell in love. I was content."

"But…?" Percival suddenly pressed, as Lancelot paused. Percival took a careful step sideways, away from Merlin. Lancelot followed him with the point of his sword, and relaxed, but only slightly.

"I'm not sure, the more I find out now, the more I think that I was just filling in for someone else, who should have been there."

"You mean Merlin?"

"Possibly. So many things are happening, too many things. Like they are meant to happen, and are trying to make things right. First and foremost is saving Camelot, and we don't have time for anyone who isn't with us, all of us."

"Cenred will turn on you in the end."

Lancelot shrugged. "And when that happens we'll fight him, but I am starting to doubt that, at the end of this, he'll leave and try and take Merlin with him. The only fight I see happening, if we win, is Arthur and Cenred fighting over Merlin, and Merlin won't let that happen."

"You have a lot of faith in one little child."

"Yes, I do, I believe he can do what's right. What you do it up to you, I suggest you go out of here, and if you want to help, then come back and do so, if not, then don't," Lancelot said.

He appeared to have made that the end of the conversation. If Percival stayed Lancelot would take more drastic action. Gwaine would be the better one to wake, certainly not Cenred who would slaughter Percival on the spot. Lancelot believed in second chances, so Percival got one. The man in question turned and walked away. Lancelot said his last words on the subject.

"If you come back and try that again, I will kill you."

Percival walked out of the castle without looking back.

"Well done," Arthur said, sending Lancelot about three feet into the air.

"Sire!"

"Sorry, I would have thought you realised I was there."

"I was too busy keeping an eye on him, and Merlin."

Arthur put his hand on Lancelot's arm and then walked away. Lancelot took the hint and followed Arthur across the room, to the quiet gallery that lay beyond the council chamber. Moonlight streamed into the room, and from the broken down window they watched Percival walk off.

"I mean it, well done. I don't think I'd have that much restraint," Arthur said.

"For what?"

"Talking to him. Merlin has proved to be far more important than him, I doubt I would have risked it. Merlin's right, you'll be a good knight, you've been a good friend."

"Thank you, Sire."

"I haven't always seemed grateful," Arthur said.

"That never stopped me knowing, you don't have to say it, Sire."

"Did you really mean that? About you filling a place for someone else."

"I'm not sure," Lancelot confessed. "If I allow myself to believe that all this talk of destiny and fate is true, then maybe. Perhaps it should have been Merlin with you, but it seemed right for me to be by your side."

"Maybe as a knight."

"I am still a commoner, Sire, nothing will change that."

"You're still also a knight. Merlin is right, if there was anyone that should be a knight of Camelot, then it is you. That is most definitely right, and you are right, again, I will stand by my word."

"Thank you, Sire."

"Do you think we can really do this?"

"I think we have more than enough advantages on our side."

"That's why I like you Lancelot," Arthur drawled. "Such optimism."

"Thank you, Sire."

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

Arthur, Lancelot, Gwaine, Cenred, Percival - under the careful orders of Lancelot - and naturally Merlin and Cyan headed off to find the dragon. The others would make plans for the assault on Camelot. Gwen and Gaius to make the abandoned castle ready should they need to retreat with wounded. Arthur led the way, moving as carefully as he could through the woods, but he was actually starting to think that perhaps they were far enough away from Camelot now to make it safe from Morgana's troops. But now the men in question didn't need to eat, or even sleep, if Merlin was right, they were dead, and just animated by magic.

They were pinning a lot of hopes on the dragon's help, but in the end, it seemed like the sword would be something they might need. Merlin was convinced it was important, Nimueh seemed to have stressed it to him. Arthur couldn't see why, whatever the sword did. Ultimately the cup had to be part of the army's downfall. On the flip side, he could see the logic of using it to get to the cup, which would no doubt be heavily guarded. And as much as it went against his principles, using the powers that Merlin and, Arthur now knew Gaius possessed, would be part of that.

He couldn't comprehend how it had come to this. Arthur had always been taught that magic was evil, and that those that used it were best killed immediately. He had seen it's corrupting influence, but he had also seen people die when they were innocent. The first of those had been Gwen's father. Arthur couldn't help but see the effect that had, through Morgana, and Gwen, but mainly Lancelot. His servant had been discreetly using magic, as well as fighting it. Lancelot had been right when he had pointed out that it wasn't the magic that was evil, it was the person using it. There was no way Arthur could comprehend Merlin as evil.

From what he had seen, and been told, Merlin was more powerful than any other warlock that had come before him. But he meant no harm to anyone. Arthur hadn't really known what had possessed him that night, when Balinor had freed Camelot from the dragon's attack, when he had saved Merlin. Only that Merlin had looked so frightened and helpless, and Arthur had felt he owed Merlin, and Balinor, for coming to their aid. He couldn't have seen Merlin killed. His father had attacked them for what Balinor was, even though he was helping them, saving the kingdom.

It was the same thing that had happened once before. Uther had promised to make peace with the dragon, and had used that guise to capture it, holding it in the caverns below the castle. It was not an innocent victim, the dragon could never be perceived as that, despite what it had lost in the slaughter of it's kind. Kilgharrah's only kin now existed as the Dragonlord, and his son.

Arthur was leading the way, but Merlin was trotting at his back, as determined as Arthur was to get to the dragon. Arthur paused as they reached the higher track, letting the others catch up. Merlin tried to scramble past Arthur caught his arm.

"Merlin, no we wait."

"Why? We need to find Kilgharrah."

"But we are getting close, we need to stay together, okay Merlin?"

Merlin nodded, but his head turned as Cyan gave a heavy growl and the dragon reared it's head.

"You have found me, my young warlock."


	25. P3 Chapter 2

Arthur tensed and pushed Merlin behind him. He heard the others rushing forward. Kilgharrah watched them with interest, but he didn't look the least bit threatened. Arthur didn't think the dragon had much to worry about, he had taken on Camelot's entire defences and won. The dragon's head rose as the others came forward, hurrying up the track, Percival trailing at the back, staring at the huge beast with awe and starting to wonder what sort of a situation he had stumbled upon.

Merlin was the only one who reacted without any fear. He eased himself past Arthur, taking a few steps towards the dragon. Arthur followed, reaching out to try and grab Merlin to haul him back. The dragon glared at him, which momentarily froze the prince and Merlin finished his walk up to the dragon, who lowered his head to be on Merlin's level. Reaching out Merlin petted the dragon's nose and then leant against him, sending the dragon almost cross-eyed as he tried to keep Merlin in view.

"Hello, big dragon."

The dragon eased his nose out from Merlin's hug, lifting his head again and looking, Arthur thought, mildly embarrassed.

"Hello, Merlin," Kilgharrah said, his head lifting a bit higher as the others came closer. They all had their weapons ready but they all realised it wouldn't make the slightest impression on the huge beast. Merlin shuffled closer, searching out tactile contact with the dragon, clambering onto his huge claw and sitting down, wrapping his arms around the dragon's leg.

"I'm tired," Merlin said.

"We have walked a long way," Gwaine conceded.

"Merlin said there was a cave here," Arthur said. "Can we rest there?"

Kilgharrah glared at Arthur. "It is a sacred place, it would not surprise me that a Pendragon would wish to desecrate it."

Merlin raised his head, sliding off Kilgharrah's paw as he lifted it. Cenred went to help pick him up off the floor.

"I have no wish to desecrate anything," Arthur said. "But Morgana's troops are starting to spread. If we can find a safe place to rest, then may we do so?"

Kilgharrah blinked and the backed up, turning himself and then slowly settling down, blocking the path with his body, hinting that the cave was still out of bounds.

"You may."

Merlin settled against him again, tucking himself against the dragon's side, almost prepared to set up camp against him. Arthur glanced at Lancelot.

"Percival and I will collect firewood," Lancelot said, getting the hint that they were probably staying where they were. With the dragon in close proximity, they could easily assume it was safe.

"I'll help," Percival offered and the pair headed off. Cenred shrugged and went to settle down next to Merlin. Cyan snuffled about close to Merlin, sniffing at the dragon before sitting by Merlin. Gwaine in the end also joined in, none of them seeming to have fear of the huge dragon. Arthur gritted his teeth and went over to them, kneeling down in front of Merlin.

"Are you all right Merlin?"

Merlin nodded. Arthur blinked as he looked at him. Merlin didn't look entirely like himself. He reached up and cupped Merlin's chin, turning his head to make the youth look at him.

"Merlin?"

Merlin gave a little smile, and looked up at the dragon, who had turned his neck to look at the group now clustered by his side. Arthur looked around, standing up as Leon returned with some wood.

"We'll use that coppice there," Arthur instructed Lancelot.

Lancelot gave a nod and went off, issuing some instructions to Percival, who was watched carefully by the dragon. Merlin's eyes followed their progress. Gwaine, after looking around for a moment, reluctantly got up.

"Merlin, I'll go and help them too, okay?"

"Yes," Merlin said.

They all worked, very quietly setting up the camp, so it left Merlin, Arthur and Cenred alone with the dragon. Kilgharrah watched, his eyes drifting to Merlin.

"Can we hunt here?" Arthur asked.

Kilgharrah lifted his head. "Excuse me?"

"Can we hunt on the mountain? We've brought supplies but they are low, if you give us licence to hunt, then it will be better for us."

"You think you might find something living on this mountain, with me?"

Arthur nodded. "I can see the trails, you let them be, but we need to feed ourselves, and we have gone days without food."

Kilgharrah stared at him and then suddenly stood up, sending Cenred and Merlin sprawling onto the ground under the dragon's belly. The others paused from setting up to head over to them, watching as the dragon flexed his huge wings and tensed his back legs to launch himself into the air, he circled and then flew off. Cenred wrapped his arms around Merlin and Merlin snuggled against him.

"What was that about?" Arthur said as he watched the dragon fly off.

"I have no idea," Cenred snapped. "And I don't care. All I care about is ending this and taking Merlin back home with me."

"Why do you think he's going with you?" Arthur asked in outrage.

"Oh, because he is going to want to stay in Camelot, Balinor will not, and Merlin will follow him. They'll be coming back with me."

"You won't use Merlin against me!" Arthur snapped. "Against Camelot."

"Merlin was born in my kingdom, you're not taking him."

Arthur opened his mouth to argue the point of Cenred caring about his citizens when a voice interrupted them.

"Your claims are both equal and precarious," the dragon rumbled as he reappeared. He lowered himself to the ground again, dropping the fresh carcass of a deer onto the ground. Merlin sat up and grimaced as he looked at it.

"You may be best not hunting, but your point is well made young Pendragon."

"Thank you," Arthur said. Lancelot and Percival went to grapple with the deer.

"I'll prepare this, I've found some mushrooms as well," Lancelot said. "I don't suppose you could light the fire?"

Kilgharrah glared at him, obviously offended. It was Merlin that solved the problem holding up his hand and concentrating. A moment later the fire, that Gwaine was trying to ignite by rubbing two sticks together, flared into life. He singed the ends of his hair, falling back and batting at them to put them out.

"Very good, little warlock," the dragon praised, making Merlin smile up at him.

"Don't you normally need to incant for things like that?" Lancelot asked.

"No," said Merlin.

"The little warlock's power is natural, he was born with it, he is not limited like those who had trained in the art. He is a creature of magic, like myself."

Lancelot frowned then seemed to accept that explanation. Instead he rooted out his hunting knife and started to skin the deer. They were going to have to wait for something to eat, but it would at least be worth it. At least they were going to have a chance to eat, and Lancelot decided that smoking some would be a good idea, they could take it back to the other group, who were struggling to survive at the abandoned castle. He hoped Gwen was all right, he hadn't liked leaving her, but he felt he had no choice but to follow Arthur on this quest.

"What would you ask of me, my little warlock?" Kilgharrah asked, settling down close to them.

"A sword forged in your breath, that will kill the bad men, and we can stop them and get father."

Arthur stepped forward, wanting to offer a clearer explanation. "Merlin was told that a sword forged in your breath will kill the living dead. Cenred's army is that, since they put their blood into the cup. If we empty the cup we stop them all. Morgana and Morgause must know that. We have to get in and empty the cup, but that will be guarded, we cannot get in without an advantage. The sword that you could forge would offer us that."

The Dragon's head lifted, staring at Arthur, and then around at the group.

"You, however, cannot compel me to do such a thing."

Arthur blinked, taken by surprise. He hadn't thought about that. Balinor was the Dragonlord. Arthur glanced Merlin, who was staring at the dragon, suddenly realising the same thing, and realising the implications, before he burst into tears.

Again it caused a huge distraction. Cenred pulled Merlin tighter into his arms, letting Merlin sob onto his shoulder. The dragon shuffled backwards, looking surprised at the sudden burst of emotion. Gwaine came dashing over and crouched close to Merlin and Cenred.

"Now look what you've done!" he shouted up at the dragon.

Both of them put their efforts into reassuring Merlin. Arthur looked at them, stepping forward a little, but then he looked up at the dragon. Very slowly the dragon looked from Merlin to him.

"Do you have any comprehension of what that will mean?" the dragon asked.

"It means I get my kingdom back, it means people are not killed when they are innocent."

The dragon tensed, flaring up, wing flexing. "A Pendragon dares to say that! You have killed innocents, children, for years!"

"That was my father!"

"And you would follow in his footsteps. Do you see magic as evil?"

"I do not condone it's use."

"Do you see magic as evil?"

"All I have seen is evil. What can be shown to me to change that?"

"The other side of your soul," Kilgharrah said gently, lowering his head and looking at Merlin. Merlin had reduced himself to sniffling and his eyes rolled up in the direction of the dragon, while keeping the rest of his face tucked down on Cenred's shoulder. The dragon regarded Merlin, his eyes softening slightly.

"I never said I would not," he told Merlin, moving his head closer.

"As if Merlin would get that distinction," Gwaine muttered, loudly. The dragon glared at him and then proceeded to ignore him, turning his attention back to Merlin.

"You are his teacher, you should have been."

The dragon paused and his gaze lifted to Arthur before looking back to Merlin. "Merlin would have taught you the ways of humility and compassion, and with that the way to magic would have been shown. Because he was not there another showed you the way, his grace and honour beyond compare."

"Sire?" Lancelot interrupted; just, it appeared, at the right moment. Arthur turned and looked at him.

"Yes?"

"We've set the camp, and everything is cooking, maybe we should rest before we eat. We won't be moving out until dawn. We're all tired, perhaps we should deal with this later."

"We need your help," Arthur said, calmly and succinctly to the dragon, while looking, very intently at Lancelot. "Will you forge the sword?"

Kilgharrah closed his eyes, looking for a moment like he was in pain, before he opened them again.

"I will young prince, give me the weapon you wish me to endow."

Arthur paused and looked around at the others. Lancelot was drawing his but then Merlin lifted his head again, to say in a strong, confident voice.

"Use Arthur's."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Balinor felt tired, and it was cold. Uther was using his coat without a second thought. The Dragonlord was not even given the blessing of unconsciousness. Pain kept him awake, increased by the cold. No one had yielded, the knights had stood strong as they had watched his torture. Balinor had to respect them for it. All of them knew, to kill him would give Merlin the power that he carried. Morgause knew the same, so she didn't dare kill him. But she could do so many things that brought him to the brink.

The two women still made the effort to care for them, or at least Uther. He was brought food, which the man had no appetite for. It was left to Balinor to encourage him to eat, and he gave the man his coat, while he himself suffered.

His own actions baffled him. He hated this man. Uther had driven his kind to extinction. Only he and Merlin remained as Dragonlords. But then again, there was only one dragon, it was a sickening balance, and one that could be greater settled. One dragon only needed one Dragonlord. That was why he had been destined to die, the moment Merlin would take his power, because he should have been at Arthur's side. Long before now, that was Merlin's place. Balinor had no part in the scheme of things. Merlin was destined as the last Dragonlord, no one else.

He didn't even know why he was still alive. Fate was playing cruel tricks. None crueller than this enforced separation from his son. That word, son, conjured up so much for him, an image of Merlin and a rush of so many emotions that Balinor could hardly begin to comprehend them. He had thought that he would die alone. The only one who might have mourned him would be Kilgharrah, possibly feeling his death, as he passed away, but feeling nothing for him. Balinor was, essentially, the man who had left him trapped in the bowels of Camelot.

Now things were so decidedly changed from those dark days of the great purge. Gaius had saved him, compassionate, but also perhaps practical. Uther meant to keep a dragon, to destroy all of the Dragonlords was perhaps a folly born of obsession. That had been proven, Nimueh had released it, to serve her own purpose. And poor Merlin was trapped in the middle.

Balinor clenched his fists as he thought of his son. The poor child had been brought to him, having lost his mother in the most despicable of ways. Balinor had almost given up, wondering if running away from Uther had been the best thing. He remembered his arrival in Ealdor, a starving, ragged man, demanding to see Hunith. At the time he had been feverish, and exhausted, hardly having stopped as he fled to her.

Two days later he had woken, to find himself tucked up in a bed, in Hunith's cottage, while she gazed at him, a little baffled but sympathetic, as he recounted his words a little more coherently. He had stuck a bargain with the village elders, that if someone came looking for him, Balinor was to leave, without hesitation, and they would deny his existence.

But still, he had received a respite, even for a short while, and had come to love someone deeply. Balinor wondered if she had known that Merlin was growing in her belly when he had fled, on hearing that Uther's soldiers had penetrated the boarders. The villagers had done as they planned. They had removed all evidence of him. The carvings he had created for them had probably been burnt, and Hunith would have removed everything from the house.

What he would never know, was that nothing had been destroyed, just carefully hidden and what remained attributed to someone who had died a year before. They had not forgotten him, nor ever lost sight of the fact that Merlin was his son, and would become a Dragonlord. Despite their nerves over Merlin's talents, they never told any outsiders, they kept Merlin to themselves. Until the day the slavers had come and Ealdor had become no more.

Many might have blamed him. The village had been destroyed and the youngsters taken. Balinor could see it every time he looked at Merlin. He could see Hunith, and himself. Balinor blinked sadly, trying not to be sick as he considered the fact that he might never see his son again.

But his son would live. He would give his life for that, and there was one who would help, who could, if he was careful, do nothing but. Balinor put his head down and started to mumble, his voice rolling out of him. He could keep it low and if either Morgause or Morgana heard it, they couldn't stop him until it was too late.

Kilgharrah would care for and protect Merlin and keep him safe. Balinor would make sure of that.

The Great Dragon would have no choice, he would without fail protect the last of the Dragonlords.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Wow," Arthur said, hefting his sword, tipping it to assess the balance. "I mean, wow."

The sword glittered in the growing light, shining with a brightness that could almost overwhelm.

"My sword was made for me, weighted for my arm but now it's perfect, it's brilliant."

"Be careful, my young prince," Kilgharrah said. He lowered his head and exhaled heavily onto Arthur, who jumped, finally breaking eye contact with the sword to look at the dragon.

"What you have been given is a weapon of immense power. It is not something that should be taken lightly, be careful as you wield it, for not only is it capable of what you ask, but it's power goes beyond that. Use it carefully, in the wrong hands, it can be a weapon of great evil."

"But my hands are fine," Arthur said, almost asking.

"It was forged for you, yes, and no other; but only you and the little warlock should ever use it. Once the sword has served it's purpose, then cast it aside, and use it no longer."

"Should I destroy it? I can melt it down."

"The sword will not allow that, it can never be destroyed, only contained. Keep it safe, and never use it except in the darkest of times. For then it will shine like a beacon, bringing honour in it's wake."

"How do I know when those times are?"

"You will have your guidance. When you have won your kingdom, entrust the weapon to the little warlock. You, Merlin, should place it somewhere so even Arthur may not take it, unless he truly needs it."

"Yes, I will," Merlin said. "Father will tell me. We can help father now, can't we?"

"Of course you can, but all balances will be restored, all debts paid. Fate and destiny have played this game too far. Once all is decided here, then the balance will be restored."

"What is that meant to mean?" Gwaine asked.

"Merlin is the only constant, he cannot be changed, others can. Balances have altered drastically, even those with destinies now do not always hold them. And two live beyond their fates, one is payment for a life taken, the other is forfeit. One or the other may take their place, but it may come to one of them to choose, so all of you need be wise. The path is not clear enough, but you may see it before you walk it."

Kilgharrah ducked his head down.

"I will see you again, little warlock."

With that the dragon took to the air, launching up and flying away. They watched him go, never faltering in his flight as he sped away from them.

"Why do I get the feeling he was glad to leave?" Gwaine asked.

"What did he mean by all that?" Percival asked.

"Nimueh said I would have father as long as I need him. I need father," Merlin said.

"He may not mean your father Merlin, many of us have been close to death before," Arthur said.

That made them look around. Cenred had almost died at Morgause's hand, Lancelot at the dragon's and Gwaine had been found by Merlin almost close to bleeding to death. Cyan trotted around, wagging his tail as he panted, eyes bright, looking at them all in turn. It did nothing to ease anyone's mind, least of all Merlin's.

"Will father be all right?" he asked in a worried tone. Arthur smiled, reaching up to put a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

"Your father will grow old and die, as he should, and you'll become a Dragonlord, and I'll become king."

"You'll be a good king," Merlin said.

"You'll be a good Dragonlord."

"Good is… good."

"Yes it is Merlin. It's getting it right that's the problem."

"Is right not good?" Merlin asked. Arthur reached up again to ruffle Merlin's hair before clamping his hand on the back of Merlin's neck.

"People can think they are right, and be wrong; people can think they are good and be bad. I think the whole thing is such a muddle that it's hard to work out what to do sometimes."

"It's confusing," Merlin agreed with him.

"We'll think about it on the way. Let's get back and find the others. If we're lucky tomorrow we'll reclaim Camelot."


	26. P3 Chapter 3

They moved through the tunnels following Lancelot's lead. Gwaine had no problem with this. But Olwen and Rupert did, just a little. Sir Lancelot had been given control of the mission into the dungeon. He was to get Uther and Balinor, and extract them both, with the help of the knights of Camelot. This was why Gwaine was patiently following Lancelot's cautious lead. Gwaine had been sent for Balinor. Cenred had gone with Merlin, Leon and Arthur to deal with the Cup of Life. Balinor was just as, if not more than, important. If he died and Merlin became a Dragonlord, who knows what he might do in his grief.

Gwaine reined his yelp in the last moment as something brushed past him, rubbing against his leg. Cyan paused at the entrance to the dungeon, through the sewer tracks. Lancelot turned to glare at Gwaine, who had clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Gwaine!"

"Sorry, he scared the life out of me! Don't do that!" Gwaine hissed at Cyan, who tilted his head and pricked his ears up. Then he turned to look at Lancelot, who regarded the wolf calmly.

"What's he doing here anyway? Shouldn't he be with Merlin?"

"Not if Merlin sent him," Gwaine said. "He's probably told him to find Balinor. It's a command he knows well enough. Balinor taught him, just in case Merlin ever needed it."

"Merlin thinks the wolf will be more reliable than you," Elyan commented, which roused a few smirks, and Gwaine glowered. Lancelot glanced down at Cyan again. The wolf stood next to him, looking up at him as if he was waiting for Lancelot's next instruction. There was a short pause as all of them looked down at the wolf. Cyan slowly wagged his tail and continued to wait. Lancelot knew there was something going on with the wolf, the beast had followed Merlin into that strange dream state, where Merlin had somehow been given enough answers to move their quest along. Now the wolf seemed to be serving another purpose, Lancelot didn't doubt that. Magic was not something he was entirely comfortable with. True he had sought out Gaius' advice over it, and even helped use magic on rare occasions but Merlin's powers seemed to be something else entirely. Things happened around them which they had no control over, but he wasn't about to argue over whether Cyan should come with them or not. That would do nothing more than waste precious time.

"Fine, hopefully he will sniff out trouble if we find any."

Lancelot carried on leading them in, following the instructions that Arthur had given him. Cyan trotted on his heels, with Gwaine directly behind them. The others shuffled along, all of them sticking to the shadows as they headed deeper in. They paused outside the dungeon entrance, and Lancelot took a deep breath, listening carefully to the low hum of voice in the dungeon ahead of them. Leaning forward he peered around the corner and assessed the four men lingering around. There were only four of them on duty, but they were immortal, dead but living dead, as Merlin had pointed out. If they got the rest of the knights out, they had more than enough troops to get Uther and Balinor out, and four immortal men would be manageable. Leon had told him the layout. That Uther and Balinor were together at the end of the corridor. It made it so much easier. The two people they needed to extract were in close proximity, they need not split up. Lancelot turned and nodded to the group behind him. They looked at him with serious expressions as he turned back and led the charge out.

The four guards were caught by surprise as the knights charged in. Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan and Percival took the main attack keeping the men occupied while the others freed the rest of the knights. Lancelot looked around as he heard the clatter and four more guards piled into the dungeon. Hopefully there would be no more than that. He pushed one of the guards into a cell and slammed the door, penning the man in.

"Get them contained!"

Lancelot turned; brought up short as he realised Percival had tried his own, rather unique, method. He had hacked his assailant's head clean off, and was staring in morbid fascination at the result. The body was still moving, still fighting, the guards head laying on the floor, mouth moving but no sound was coming out.

"Get that thing in a cell and help the others!" Lancelot choked out, feeling the back of his throat fill with bile. Gwaine shoved his own attacker into the midst of the now freed knights of Camelot, who were bundling guards into the cells to contain them.

"Oh, that is just not right!" Gwaine said. "Proves Merlin right though."

"Never mind that, come on!" Lancelot yelled, he ran down the corridor, Cyan keeping pace with him and it occurred to Lancelot that Cyan had done nothing to join in the fight. He had just waited while the battle had started. Lancelot skidded to a halt at the end cell and stared in, tensing in shock, but inwardly feeling a rush of relief as he saw both men were still alive.

Balinor had heard the sounds of battle and was trying to rouse Uther. The King slowly stirred under Balinor's guidance and Lancelot stared at the wounds that covered the Dragonlord. Gwaine swore as he ran into view, almost crashing into Lancelot, but the other knight caught him at the last minute and steadied him.

"Are you all right?" Gwaine asked.

"Well enough," Balinor growled, easing Uther into a sitting position. The King looked around his eyes not entirely in focus, he didn't even look at if he recognised Lancelot.

"We need to get you out of here?" Lancelot said. Elyan charged onto the scene, a set of keys in his hand.

"I think we've got more on the way!"

All of them jumped as the bell started to toll. Gwaine grimaced.

"Possibly a lot more on the way!"

"Let's not waste time," Lancelot said, fumbling through the keys.

"Arthur?" Uther asked faintly. He blinked owlishly as he stared at the group of men by the bars.

"No, Sire," Lancelot said. He put the key into the lock, and Cyan gave a low rumble as the knight struggled with it. Then they all fell backwards at a sudden flash of light, Cyan yelped an accompaniment. Balinor gave a low sigh.

"That could be Morgause. She might have assumed Merlin was coming for me."

"Where's Arthur?" Uther asked blearily. Balinor gave him an idle pat on the shoulder for reassurance. Uther flinched away from him looking outraged. He glared at the people by the door, his eyes drawn to Cyan as the wolf started to give a low huffing noise, snuffling at the bars.

"He's fine My Lord," Lancelot said, fighting the lock, wincing as there was another blast of light, he jerked his hand back, hissing with pain. The key tumbled from the lock, the metal glowing a dull red. Glancing at the lock Gwaine realised it was glowing with the same sullen light.

"Damn!" Gwaine swore, crouching down to press his fingertips against the key, flinching back again, and waving his fingers in the air. "That's hot!"

"I could have told you that!" Lancelot snapped. "The only one that could probably deal with this is Merlin. Elyan! Get back up there and find a way to barricade us in, anything! I think we're changing to a defensive tactic. I don't think we're getting out of here."

"Where's Arthur?" Uther demanded, a little more stridently. Balinor glared at Lancelot and Gwaine.

"And where's Merlin?"

"He's with Arthur. They're going after the Cup of Life," Gwaine said.

"What?" Balinor's voice deepened, causing both men to jump and Cyan jerked back, lowering himself to the ground. He sniffed again, still giving low huffing breaths. If he wasn't so panicked about his son Balinor might have been inclined to wonder what was wrong with him.

"If they can empty the cup then the soldiers will die, the power that drives them will cease," Lancelot said.

"Cenred's with them, and Leon," Gwaine added, but he could tell that was not reassuring the increasingly angry Dragonlord.

"Are you two out of your minds? I trusted you to look after him!"

"Actually I think it was more Cenred, and he did his best. Nowhere is safe unless we deal with this situation. And Merlin was never going to be content to leave you here. Plus, his power is one of the advantages we've got!"

"What are the others?" Balinor demanded.

All attention suddenly riveted on the wolf as he slowly rose up again, he was still sniffing and taking the deep breaths that were developing into something else. Balinor watched him, his eyes slowly widening as he locked eyes with Cyan. In the dim light of the dungeon it was clear to see the gold flashes as they started to build in the animal's eyes. The low breaths were taking up a rhythm and Balinor could sense what was coming. He looked up at Gwaine and Lancelot, who were already backing away from Cyan, realising that something was about to happen.

"Get down!" Balinor yelled at them. He grabbed for Uther, yanking the King close to him as Cyan unleashed a full blown howl. His blue eyes flashed gold and Balinor shielded Uther as best he could. The spell tore through the confined space and Balinor felt the air dragged from his lungs as the magic crashed out with full force. The power of it surged around them, almost out of control. Balinor could do nothing but press Uther against the dungeon wall and pray that Merlin was safe.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The group of four moved through the castle without difficulty. Arthur had grown up in the palace, there wasn't a part of it that he didn't know. Cenred had spent some time watching the guards moving around the corridors. He knew their rotations, and which directions they were likely to be heading as they walked through the corridors.

Putting those two things together the group skulked through the castle without a single confrontation. Arthur went in the lead, the sword the dragon had forged, held tightly, both hands gripping the hilt, while he contained an overwhelming urge to attack something with it, while also controlling the urge to drop the thing. The Prince was taking the warnings the dragon had given seriously. He could feel something in the sword. Arthur would not have said that it was alive, but a force dwelt within the metal, and if he concentrated he could sense a humming sound that resonated, sickeningly similar to a heartbeat. He tried not to think about it, he had yet to wield the weapon, to see what surprises it held.

It was only as they reached the upper level, where the throne room lay that the weapon was put to use.

"What now?" Arthur asked, turning to Cenred. This time the King shook his head. He was holding a sword in one hand, and Merlin's hand was clasped tightly in the other. The young warlock was lingering behind him, peering round nervously. Leon brought up the rear, ensuring that no one caught them unawares. He could fight them, but it would require Arthur to strike a killing blow, if what they had been told was true. None of the knights debated it too deeply, but not a single one of them doubted the Dragon's word, or Merlin's. Camelot's future had been trusted to someone perceived as the enemy.

"Don't know," Cenred whispered back. "We never got up here, which makes me assume that this is the location of the Cup."

"You mean you don't know for sure, you never warned me about that!" Arthur hissed back.

"It's here," Merlin said, eyes staring down the corridor, fixed on a random point but he was sensing something. Cenred watched Merlin's eyes darting in his head, his pupils had, for some reason, dilated; not even reacting to the sunshine that streamed in through the windows.

"Which means we go any further we are bound to run into…." Arthur trailed off as the warning bell suddenly started to ring. They all lifted their heads to listen for a second.

"I'm presuming that's for the dungeon."

"In which case, we can't afford to waste…" Arthur snapped and they all jumped as two guards ran around the corner, almost into their rearguard. They all froze, and then Cenred pushed Merlin behind him, pressing him against the wall. Then the king stepped forward to stand by Leon, smiling brightly at his former soldiers.

"Hello, there," Cenred said.

Both men glared at him, eyes widening, they stayed deathly still for several seconds, staring at Cenred and looking as if they were listening to something before they rushed into the attack. Cenred clashed swords with one and Leon took the other. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"I've got the right sword!" he pointed out, now unable to use it.

The two soldiers pressed forward. Arthur looked down the corridor, the noise was bound to bring more men. As he turned back, Merlin stepped forward and raised his hand. His eyes flashed gold and both soldiers flew backwards, crashing down the corridor. Leon took a breath, glanced at Merlin and then looked at Cenred.

"Did any of your men ever like you?"

Cenred looked at the two men tangled together in a heap. Despite the force that Merlin had used they were struggling to get up.

"Most of them were mercenaries, it depended on what I paid them."

"I don't think those two have been paid in a while," Leon commented backing up. They spun as footsteps alerted them to more attackers. Arthur spun on his heel and met the first one, slashing the sword into him. He fell back as he went through the man's torso like it was butter, and the man's body flared before exploding. The man behind him didn't even slow down. Arthur clashed with him and Cenred moved to flank, distracting their opponent long enough for Arthur to get a hit in. The second man went the same way as the first.

"Wow," Cenred said. "That is a good sword."

"Against men that really don't seem to like you," Leon pointed out. Both Cenred and Merlin glared at him, but the group tentatively, but swiftly continued, Arthur taking the lead again.

"I think Morgause used the cup to put an enchantment on them," Cenred said.

"They don't seem to go for the rest of us like they do you. It almost seemed like they were listening to orders before they attacked."

"Maybe she used an enchantment that tapped into a natural inclination in them," Arthur mused, in a tone that something of a 'shut up' intonation to it.

"Still, if he's a target, then he can distract long enough for you to kill them," Leon pointed out.

Arthur held his hand up for silence as they paused a little distance away from a corner. They silently crept to it and Cenred and Arthur peered around it. The door to the throne room was closed, and they guessed locked, but Merlin could deal with that. Their immediate issue was the half dozen men that were stationed outside, three on either side of the door. They stood stiffly to attention, looking almost like statues. It was almost possible to assume that was what they were, but for the subtle rise and fall of their chests.

Arthur turned to look at Cenred.

"How about we put that theory to the test?"

Before Cenred could answer Arthur roughly pushed him out into the corridor, causing all six men to turn in unison.

"Prince Arthur's just round the corner, if you're interested," Cenred informed them. It was answered by all of them pulling their swords from their belts. Arthur huffed in irritation and stepped out to stand next to Cenred. The prince watched them as their opponents moved, their feet stepping at exactly the same time.

"That is just weird," Arthur said.

"Weirder than you and me fighting on the same side?" Cenred asked.

"Don't get used to it."

"I'm not planning to."

Leon stepped to Arthur's other side as the men rushed forwards. At least in the confines of the corridor it meant the six men were hindered. Arthur stayed a step or two in front of Cenred and Leon, who stayed in formation either side, keeping any thrusts aimed at Arthur safely away from him until he could use the sword to effect. Merlin whimpered, watching with concern, keeping himself pressed to the wall on Cenred's side of the corridor. He glanced back now and again, and as the two soldiers, who had finally managed to untangle themselves, attempted to run at him Merlin blasted them back again.

He kept his back pressed to the wall, staring at the now badly damaged men as they collapsed in a heap on the floor. Several limbs were now shattered, but still the men kept moving, they couldn't stop. Merlin's eyes flashed again, panic rising in him, and the two men burst into flames.

"Merlin!" Arthur yelled, killing another attacker, leaving them with four. They had beaten them back just past the door. "Merlin! Open the door!"

The command seemed to bring Merlin back to reality, giving him something other to do rather than panic, and feel horrified at what he had just done. He rattled the handle, and the door didn't give.

"Use magic, Merlin," Cenred advised, bashing someone's head against the wall and spinning the stunned man into Arthur. They had halved their attackers in the space of less than a minute. The king and the prince, were very carefully not looking at each other, concentrating heavily on the fighting force they were facing, preferring not to acknowledge that they were actually working very well together.

Merlin took the door handle again and he heard the click at the lock gave and he pushed it open.

"Oooh," he whimpered as the door opened. Arthur grabbed Leon's shoulder to push him towards the door and Cenred backed up, running backwards into the room, grabbing Merlin's arm on the way to draw him along. The last three men tried to rush Arthur but the all of them were grabbed by an invisible force and dashed heavily against the wall opposite. The corridor echoed with the sounds of footsteps as more guards ran towards them.

Arthur and Leon grabbed the doors and slammed them shut again, locking it up.

"Merlin!" he turned his head, and caught sight of what was at the other end of the room. Arthur's eyes widened, but he hung onto the door as it rattled. "Merlin, the door! Can you stop them getting in?"

He watched Merlin's eyes flash, and the door suddenly stopped rattling. The hammering and struggles of the men outside didn't cease, but the door stopped it's vibration under the pressure. Arthur released it and stepped forward, sword ready.

At the far end of the room, bathed in the light that came from the high, stained-glass window the Cup of Life stood on a plinth. Arthur blinked as he looked at it. The cup was attractive enough, but it didn't seem like something that could raise an immortal army, or bring someone back from the dead. He only stared at it for a moment though, and turned his attention to the men that flanked it. Four on either side of the raised platform, forming a semi-circle right and left. All of them had their hands on their sword hilts, but not one of them had moved yet. Again they were statue like but as Arthur took a step forward, each one of them moved their head, their eyes following him.

"Do you think they had any idea what would happen to them?" Leon whispered.

"I didn't," Cenred said, a trace of regret clear in his voice. The men's eyes shifted to him and they stirred, bodies tensing. Behind them the group could hear the hammering on the door, but it was holding.

"So, just the eight of them then?" Arthur said calmly. Cenred glanced at him.

"Get to the cup and it will be the none of them."

A second later the soldiers charged.


	27. P3 Chapter 4

**Sorry! **

Cenred pushed Merlin clear of the charge, and Merlin cowered behind a pillar as they clashed. He crept around the stone structure and looking around carefully, dashed to the next one. The fight raged across the floor and Merlin knew he couldn't get involved. He didn't know how to fight, and he hadn't meant to set the men alight. That was nothing more than sheer panic at seeing them still moving, their bodies continuing to function after they were damaged. Arthur slashed through another, causing it to explode. That wasn't right, it wasn't good. When people, when things, died it was for a good reason. Merlin blinked as his head turned, and he peered at the cup. It wasn't that far away, he could run across and tip it up and then everything would be over. Glancing around Merlin dashed to the next pillar, hunkering down and assessing the scene. Part of the fight had moved towards the plinth where the cup stood. Leon was trying to fight his way past. All three of them were, wanting to press far enough forward to tip the cup.

Merlin clenched his jaw and pushed himself up, he kept low, running as fast as he could. It was Leon that saw him first, and back-peddled, bringing his attackers with him, Arthur and Cenred seemed aware of him as well, suddenly aiming to distract their attackers, to let Merlin finish the job.

His foot just touched the lowest step of the raised platform as the doors to the room blew open, Merlin's magic blasting apart with them. The force of the fracture caused him to stagger, and the impact on the doors caused them all to falter. Even the enemy. The doors ripped away from their hinges with the force that Morgause used.

She strode through the doorway, blonde hair cascading down on her red clad shoulders, and eyes burning. Storming into the room her magic seemed like a furnace of heat radiating around her. Her eyes didn't scan the scene, instead they locked directly on Merlin and raising a hand she screamed out and flung him across the room, away from the plinth. Merlin flew to the right side of the room, crashing against the wall, slamming back against it, his head rapping sharply against the stone.

"Merlin!" Arthur bellowed in panic. Cenred echoed the shout, trying to get past his opponent to get to him. He grabbed the man by the shoulder and pushed him away, straight to Arthur. Arthur dodged one sword, swiped at the staggering man, and then slashed the man on his left. Both exploded with Arthur ducking as they blasted apart either side of him. Morgause's eyes widened. Arthur straightened up, holding the sword steadily and he glared at her. It seemed to bring the fight to an impasse. Morgause's soldiers stopped moving, backing away a little. Leon panted for breath, shuffling closer to Arthur.

"Very impressive," Morgause said.

"I have a dragon on my side," Arthur said. He moved sideways, Leon following him. Cenred had backed up towards Merlin and although he didn't dare turn his back on Morgause, or the lingering soldiers, he crouched down, reaching his hand back to Merlin. He groped out to try and grasp Merlin's arm.

Through a haze of pain Merlin could see the dark shadow of Cenred's body. He knew it was him, trying to get to him. Merlin's senses were on alert. It was a friend that was trying to reach him. Merlin tried to reach back, but in doing so he made it harder to meet Cenred's hand as they both tried to move to find each other. They brushed each other several times, fingers almost latching onto sleeves and forearms but losing grip as the other continued to desperately grope.

Merlin slowed his movement, baffled by the lack of connection. He glared dully at his hand, which seemed to waver violently, looking tiny one moment and huge the next as images in his mind overlapped each other. He blinked with a slow and steady purpose and cleared his mind long enough to grab onto Cenred's wrist, latching his fingers around the limb, holding tightly. The anchorage settled him, and he blinked again, slowly and steadily before attempting to get onto his feet. Cenred braced to help him up, still not daring to look at Merlin, his eyes watching the standoff between Morgause and Arthur.

"And do you think one sword will destroy an entire army?" Morgause asked.

"I can try," Arthur said. Morgause laughed.

"You try and your father will die. I'll kill him personally."

"No you won't," Arthur snapped. Morgause eyed him in amusement.

"No, probably not, but your little band of followers are trapped in the dungeon. Oh, they've barricaded themselves in but how long can they hold against men they can't kill. They'll either fall or surrender eventually. Although, there is no point in killing Uther, until he's seen me slit your throat."

Arthur gave a low growl, shifting his position and steadying his grip on the sword.

"Come and get me! I think this thing might work on you."

"I have patience, when I bring your father in here, with a knife to his throat, or one of your precious knights, I'll have you on your knees. I'll do the same to the Dragonlord. You wouldn't want me to hurt your father," she added, turning to Merlin.

Merlin glowered at her. "I need him," he said quite openly.

"That doesn't mean to say you'll have him."

"I will," Merlin said. He had been promised. Morgause glared at him and then her eyes shifted. Arthur had been carefully signalling to Cenred, who had registered what he was trying to say. Both of them agreed during that silent conversation. Morgause could only fling one of them at a time. Arthur and Leon to attack her, Cenred and Merlin to destroy the cup. Morgause saw it clearly and she screamed, her eyes flashing and all of them fell back again as the wind roared upwards and a tower of flames suddenly appeared before them, directly between them, forcing them all to step back and separating them further, also pushing them away from the cup.

"Fight me now, Pendragon!" Morgause said, raising her voice, but she didn't shout, she just stood there, while the fire circled, and she eyed them all in turn.

"You go to the cup and you burn, and I will order the men to attack the dungeon full force. All the knights will die, and I'll burn you, and let your father watch. You can die the same way as so many others. Submit now, and that will be the only death, you can save lives, Arthur."

The answer didn't come from Arthur, who had started to lower his sword, staring at her in shock, and looking around to tactically assess the scene. Cenred roared, the sound of anger rising up inside him, and he shoved Merlin away from him, pushing him towards the plinth and the cup. The tower of fire surged forward and Merlin stumbled on the steps, momentum driving him up, then he tripped and sprawled out on the floor, still not coordinated as his head spun, he felt his stomach churn, and he blinked owlishly. He was vulnerable to the attack as Cenred ran forward.

Arthur had a moment of pure horror. Of thinking that Cenred had been lying to them, to Merlin, and that he would go and stand by Morgause, having played his part. That had been his part, to make Merlin trust him, for Morgause to use. The feeling of panic stunned Arthur for a moment, and he watched, almost detached from reality as Cenred ran forward, as the flames surged towards Merlin.

Cenred met the fire head on, he didn't falter from it, he ran to meet it, and he kept going. He powered his body past it, letting the flames surge around him as he ran towards Morgause. At the last moment, she realised what he was about to do, and she back-peddled, trying to get away from him, but it was too late. She had no time to dodge or even throw a spell. Flames roaring from him Cenred slammed into her and grabbed her, wrapping one arm around her waist, the other around her shoulders and he clung to her.

Morgause shrieked, the sound filled with fear as her hair rushed with flames, it ran over the fabric of her dress and cause her skin to bubble. She thrashed her arms, kicking against Cenred, who let himself fall, slamming them both to the floor and pinning her under him. Morgause screamed again, the walls shaking under the sound. Dust and stone rattled free, causing them all to flinch as chunks of masonry crashed to the floor. Arthur gulped as the men controlled by Morgause turned, running at them, more of them charged through the doorway, too many for him and Leon to fight. Something in Morgause had kicked in, panic, revenge, whatever she felt. She was dying and she would take as many people as she could. It could be nothing more than survival instinct, and the immortal men were reacting to the threat.

Arthur pushed Leon behind him and slashed at the two men attacking, he killed one, but too many were coming in.

"Merlin! Now!" Arthur roared, because Cenred had done one thing. He had put Merlin into position to tip the cup. If Merlin hadn't fallen he would have barrelled into the plinth and knocked it all over.

Merlin had been watching the scene with wide, terrified eyes, but Arthur's words made him shake his head and he turned, looking up at the cup. Merlin got his feet under him, jumped up and put his hands on the stone column and he pushed, adding his magic as well as his body, sending the plinth flying backwards. The cup almost didn't move, as it's support was taken away, but it dropped, tipping downwards as if it had always wanted to do so. The blood within sprayed out, scatting across the dais and Merlin felt a few drops land on him. He shuffled back as he watched the drops land, and then were was a clatter as the metal rim crashed down on the stone, chipping the marble away and it rolled up from the impact. The cup turned in the air again before landing, rolling across the floor with a rattle of metal and a gentle 'clank', 'clank' as it went down the two steps. Merlin watched that, aware of the energy explosions in his peripheral vision as the immortal army all suddenly imploded. They were gone. Arthur stared at the doorway to the room with some relief. It was now no longer packed with men, but empty, with just a faint trace of dust stirring in the air.

The sound of whimpering drew his attention. Arthur looked down as Merlin crawled across the floor and as he took a breath Arthur cringed. The smell of burning flesh hit his senses and his stomach churned. Merlin didn't seem to notice it as he ripped Morgause and Cenred apart and both of them, Arthur realised his horror, were still alive. He stepped forwards slowly, dismissing Morgause to crouch by Cenred, opposite Merlin.

"No, no, no," Merlin whimpered. He tried to touch Cenred but most of his skin was charred, the leather of his clothing almost burnt into his skin. The metal attachments had melted running with the bubbling liquid coming from is body.

"NO," Merlin said again, and then Arthur jumped and turned as the Cup of Life started to roll towards them. He tensed as he watched it and then almost jumped out of his skin as something grabbed his arm. He turned to realise that Cenred had lashed out and taken hold of him. It took all of his self-control to resist pulling away. He realised Cenred was shaking his head, and oddly, despite all the damage to his body, his voice came out strong, slightly horse, but strong.

"Stop him."

The command halted Merlin, he turned back and the cup stopped moving. Arthur then realised Merlin's intention, the Cup of Life could bring people back. Merlin could do that, but as Arthur had learnt, someone else had to pay the price.

Cenred knew the same, and despite the fact his eyes no longer functioned he could somehow see everything with a stunning clarity. The world looked bright, silver threads of energy rippled across the place, and he understood it. The balance was restoring, and he was part of it. Merlin could save him, he was one of those that had been fated to die. Morgause should have killed him, when she had taken the army. His part in affairs was over, except for one little detail.

With so many things out of balance, and destiny uncertain, contingency plans had been there to restore what was needed. In the spinning web of light Merlin lay at the centre. It was all about him, he was the pivotal point. Nimueh had promised Merlin would have what he needed, but it didn't necessarily mean Balinor. If the Dragonlord was lost, then Cenred would have to stand in his place, the only one that could nurture and guide the young warlock into the person he had to be. And control the grief he would feel over Balinor's loss.

Only one of them could survive, after Hunith had been taken unjustly. And if Balinor was lost, then it guaranteed Cenred's survival. However Cenred could feel it as he lay within the web, Balinor was alive, and Cenred knew either one of them could be saved. Destiny simply waited for his decision. He knew he could ask Merlin to do it, no one would really know the real reason why Balinor lost. Cenred had been making selfish decisions all his life, knowing what he wanted, and getting it by any means he could. To do what was needed, however, he had to deprive Merlin of Balinor, and that was one thing he could not do. He had seen how devoted Merlin was to his father, and how much the feeling was reciprocated.

For a while he had been part of it. Locked within that strange family unit, and loved by Merlin. A Merlin who was now crying, understanding perhaps what was about to happen. Cenred lifted his hand, quite surprised that he couldn't really feel any pain, in fact he couldn't feel anything as he brushed his hand against Merlin's cheek.

"Stop that," he ordered Merlin.

"You can't go."

"I think, unfortunately, that's what happens when you go running into fires."

"I can make it better!" Merlin announced, and the cup started rolling again, making them all jump. Cenred shook his head again. The brightness seemed to be getting brighter, blocking everything else out, Merlin's tears were glistening, shining so brightly they were almost hypnotic to look at.

"Let's just stop fiddling around with things like that," Cenred said, and then he tilted his head vaguely in Arthur's direction. "You'd better look after them Pendragon."

Arthur nodded. "I will."

Merlin took a tighter grip of Cenred, lifting him up and putting his cheek against the king's. It didn't matter to Merlin that Cenred was sticky and smelt horrible, he just had to hold onto him tightly for the last few moments. Arthur turned, looking away, while Merlin sobbed quietly and Cenred, increasingly weakly, soothed him. At the same time, Arthur heard a clatter of footsteps and Morgana appeared.

"Sister!" she screamed the word, running into the room. Leon, who had knelt by Morgause's side in a sudden, and quite inexplicable, moment of compassion, rose up again, backing off, but lingering close to Morgana as she threw herself down onto her knees and tried to cradle her sister's damaged body. She looked up at met Arthur's gaze, her face twisting into a snarl.

"You did this!"

"I don't think this is a situation where we can start throwing blame around," Arthur said. "It's over, Morgana."

"It's not!" Morgana snarled, and the cup starting rolling again. Arthur turned at the sound of it rolling across the floor. He grabbed it, snatching it off the floor and he hurled it towards the door, throwing it as hard as he could. It flew through the archway and crashed against the wall of the corridor.

"Enough of that!"

"She's my sister!" Morgana hollered at him. Arthur turned to look at her, glaring at her, and staring at her if seeing her for the first time, as he pointed out.

"I'm your brother!" Arthur said. Behind him he felt very aware of Merlin's sniffling quietly. Leon had moved around to him and was murmuring in a low tone. Arthur guessed, rightly, that Cenred had died. Looking down he didn't think Morgause had much longer, her eyes had closed and her breath was hitching, coming in painful sounding gasps. Morgana turned her attention to Morgause and Arthur turned away from them.

Merlin gently lowered Cenred down. Tears were streaming down Merlin's face, and Leon had put a gentle hand on his shoulder. There wasn't much else he could do for the distressed youth, who was hiccupping through his sobs. Behind him Arthur heard the same sounds coming from Morgana, accompanied by a keening sound. He didn't know if Morgause had died, or if she was close. He couldn't summon up any interest. It was easier to sympathise and care for Merlin, who was so distressed by events.

"Merlin, time to go now."

Merlin nodded, although he didn't respond further or turn his eyes away from Cenred. He kept a hand on the dead man's torso, staring at him. Arthur slowly stood up, sliding the sword into his belt and he stepped around Cenred, to stand next to Merlin, holding his hand out to help Merlin up.

"He's gone Merlin, come on now."

Merlin sniffed again, reaching up one hand to roughly wipe at his face. Lifting his head he met eyes with Morgana, and she glared at him.

"You did this!"

"He did nothing, Morgana," Arthur said. "It was Cenred who did this."

"I'll bring her back!"

Arthur stared at her in shock and then one glance at Leon had the knight up and moving, going out into the corridor to retrieve the cup from where Arthur had hurled it.

"To restore a life, you have to take one. Who will you use Morgana? Whose life will you pay that debt with?"

She glared up at Arthur and then her eyes strayed back to Merlin. The answer was obvious from that look.

"You will not," Arthur said. Morgana jerked her head up to glare at him instead.

"Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do? You know nothing of magic! Of what it's like to watch people die, knowing that if Uther ever knew that I would be one of them."

"You know that would never happen."

"So he's a hypocrite!"

Arthur glared at her, he couldn't really give much of an answer to that. It was somewhat true. Magic had been used to create him, and the tangled mess of information around that fact Arthur couldn't even begin to unravel, it went too far back, with too many perspectives and emotions. He felt too tired to even think about it. Instead he could deal with what was in front of him. Magic had caused and solved this situation. Two people in the room both had magic, and Arthur knew for certain that one meant no harm. He just couldn't be sure about the other. He stared at Morgana, wondering if he had ever known her at all.

"So are you," Arthur retorted. Morgana glared at him, her jaw trembling with emotion, eyes wide as she stared up at him. Arthur was distracted as Merlin grabbed hold of Arthur's arm in both hands and hauled himself up. He wobbled slightly but Arthur let him cling until he steadied his feet.

"I want to find father," Merlin said.

"So do I," Arthur replied. He turned to look at Leon. "We need to take the body… bodies," he corrected himself. "To the great hall. Any others we find as well."

"I'll see what knights are remaining to help me," Leon said suddenly sounding weary. Arthur guessed he probably sounded the same. Morgana paid no heed to them, instead she just held onto Morgause. Arthur blinked slowly and then turned to lead Merlin from the room. He couldn't cope with Morgana. What she did now was up to her.


	28. P3 Chapter 5

**This is a bit of a thoughts, conclusion and setting up the next few chapters chapter...**

The trio made their weary way through the castle. Arthur kept an arm around Merlin. Merlin leant on him heavily, tears leaking from his eyes on occasion, but he had stopped sobbing. Instead he now just looked tired, and sad. Leon walked on Merlin's other side, glancing at Merlin and Arthur on occasion as they slowly trailed their way to the lower floor and out into the courtyard.

All three of them winced at the bright sunlight as they stepped outside. It felt to Arthur that they hadn't been outside in years. So much had happened, the world looked entirely different. He glanced at Merlin and guessed it was. Merlin was someone he would automatically assume was evil and who would be executed without a second thought. But Merlin didn't possess a single malicious bone in his body and he had used his power to help Arthur regain control of the kingdom. There was no way he could allow anything to happen to Merlin, and Balinor, even if it meant getting them out of Camelot. Glancing at Leon Arthur didn't think it would be a problem; he had others who would be willing to help, and stand by Merlin. And Arthur didn't like the idea of Merlin leaving. He wanted Merlin with him. Arthur couldn't quite explain his feelings on the subject, but ever since he had met Merlin, with his curious expression and ability to babble incessantly, and his happy countenance, Merlin had added something. Arthur couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something about Merlin. The effects were clear. He had turned Cenred into someone who had performed a rash but honourable act, saving the situation at cost to himself.

"Sire?" Leon said, nodding in the direction of the gateway that led down into the dungeon. The knights were slowly staggering outside, looking around warily. Arthur and Merlin separated slightly to jog down the steps and Arthur paused as Uther, supported by Lancelot on one side and Balinor on the other, stepped into the light. Cyan walked at Balinor's heels, until he saw Merlin and weaved his way around the group to bound over. Merlin face changed as he saw his father, brightening with joy and relief, which was almost identical to Balinor's expression as he located Merlin, following the direction of Cyan's run. Balinor released Uther and Lancelot calmly took all of the king's weight, until Elyan stepped forward to help. Gwaine had been nearer, but he abandoned Uther in favour of following Balinor to Merlin.

The knights parted to let Merlin through, partly to get out of Cyan's way. The wolf made them nervous, not only because of his bulk but the spell that had ripped through the dungeon, tearing apart the enchantments that were containing the Dragonlord and the king. They presumed it was Merlin, and they had no intention of angering either the animal or his master. Balinor went through in Cyan's wake, and Merlin ran towards him, flinging his arms around Balinor and clinging to him.

"Father! Father!"

Balinor got his arms around Merlin's waist, holding him tightly.

"Oh son, thank heavens you're all right."

He held onto Merlin, letting Merlin press against him, burying his face into his father's neck, sobbing again, his breath hiccupping and Balinor looked around. He locked eyes with Leon, Arthur had gone past him to Uther, and the knight shook his head, looking away before following Arthur. Balinor didn't need the confirmation. Cenred was conspicuous by his absence and Balinor understood what he had felt. The balance of power had lived within the spell Cyan brought with him. It hadn't been from Merlin, not all of it at least, if Merlin had had his way both of them would have been there. The power there had been unleashed to restore the balance, only one of them could have survived, and Balinor had felt it. He had felt Cenred gently let go, because it saved him. For Merlin.

"Father!" Merlin choked out the word and Balinor clung on harder, running a hand up and down Merlin's back, eventually running it to the back of Merlin's neck. Merlin continued to cling, wanting the comfort his father gave him. Even before they knew their connection, Balinor had done that for him. Cyan snuffled his nose against them and whined, and then the wolf batted at Balinor's leg. Gwaine in the end put a hand on Cyan's head, while he patiently waited for father and son to disengage. As he did so he looked around.

Arthur was approaching Uther with some reticence. But he took Uther from Lancelot and Elyan, drawing him close, looking for all the world as if he was the parent and not the child. Uther looked baffled, and then seemed to realise it was Arthur and he clung, just as hard as Merlin had to Balinor. Arthur calmly started to reassure his father, leading him away, only looking up to acknowledge certain individuals. Lancelot was first, tailing behind them as Arthur led his father away. Elyan nodded at the command to fetch Gaius, and Gwen. Lancelot nodded at him gratefully and for the first time Elyan seemed to regard Lancelot in a friendly fashion. Rupert and Olwen went after him. Arthur looked to Leon then inclined towards Merlin and Balinor, who were being watched carefully by the knights around them. Everyone was unsure of what to do about them. By the laws of Camelot they should have been arrested and executed. No one could do that, Gwaine would die before that happened. He probably would considering the odds, but they had also seen Merlin take on a battalion of men, and they all shifted nervously as a serving girl, who had dared to venture out, screamed.

The dragon passed overhead, and every knight tensed. They had seen first hand what the beast could do. Kilgharrah flew over, then turned and banked, and came past overhead again. He was simply circling. Balinor looked up and called out. He understood what Kilgharrah was doing. He had sent the command for the dragon to care for Merlin, and he was responding, but Balinor knew how to talk to the dragon so no one would be in danger. There was nothing Kilgharrah could do, he had responded to Merlin's distress, making his presence felt.

At the call the dragon seemed to stop in the air. His wings batted, the sound almost dramatic until Kilgharrah raised his head and bellowed out, the sound almost seeming to shake the ground under them. The dragon's body shifted in the air, and stretching out his neck he bellowed again, before lifting up and flying away. He turned to fly back in the direction he had come from. Balinor watched him go.

"What was that?" Gwaine asked, rubbing his right ear.

"It's the call dragon's give when they are in mourning. They do it to tell others of their kind that one of them is gone."

"Why is he doing it now?" Gwaine asked. Balinor turned to glare at him, but it was Merlin who answered the question, slowly raising his head to look at Gwaine.

"Because one of us is gone."

"You probably need to rest, I can take you to the guest rooms, I need to help move the bodies, as well though," Leon said, thinking it seemed a good idea to take Merlin and Balinor out of sight for the time being.

"I can do that, where are you taking them?" Gwaine asked.

"The great hall, Arthur's orders, Cenred, Morgause and any of the knights we find."

"There is only two that I know of," Gwaine said. "Lancelot had the sense to barricade the door when he did. We waited it out for you."

Merlin sniffed, wiping his face.

"What will happen?"

"Well, we'll have to wait for the king, but Arthur won't let anything happen to you," Leon said, frowning as Merlin glowered at him.

"He means to Cenred, to the bodies," Balinor clarified.

"Well, there is usually a mourning day and then the bodies are interred. I don't know about Cenred, I'm sure it will be the same thing," Leon said.

Merlin nodded, he seemed satisfied by the answer.

"Nothing will happen until tomorrow. We'll move his body to the hall and everything will be sorted tomorrow," Leon said. Merlin nodded, looking sad again and leaning on Balinor.

"It's all right son, come on, you need to rest. Gwaine and Leon will look after Cenred, for now."

"No," Merlin said stubbornly. "I will too."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Gwaine felt a painful, odd lump in his throat as he looked down at the remains that had been Cenred. He was dead and gone, his body was just to be disposed of. Gwaine had tried to think like that, after his father, after his mother. Now it didn't seem right. Cenred had killed himself, to save Merlin. There was no point looking at it any other way. It hadn't been done for anyone else, it was all for Merlin.

None of the knights seemed to know what to do. Morgana still sat there, with Morgause in her arms, staring down at the body of her sister. Gwaine felt aware of the fact she had magic, the knights seemed to think the same, and they were wary of her. Unsurprising after what had occurred over the week, a little more than that Gwaine calculated. He couldn't be entirely sure. Time didn't seem to have any meaning. Events just stood out in focus, Gwaine could remember the order but he was having trouble remembering the time span between them.

Gwaine looked up as Merlin went to crouch by Cenred again. He looked from Merlin to Morgana, realising that a few others were doing the exact same thing. They were so alike, and yet, so utterly different. Morgause had managed to turn Morgana to her side, a person who was, as far as Gwaine knew, quite strong and wilful and knew her own mind. Merlin on the other hand, naïve and trusting, had proved utterly incorruptible.

"Percival help Gwaine with Cenred," Leon said, without really thinking as he started to direct the men. Percival was the biggest man there, it made sense to make him help with the larger body. Gwaine crouched down by Cenred's head, preparing to take his shoulders. Then he looked up as he realised Percival hadn't moved. He was eyeing Cenred's body with satisfaction. Gwaine tensed his jaw, but calculated that starting a row was probably not the most sensible thing to do at that moment. Leon turned, seeing the same thing, realising his mistake. Merlin glared at Percival, meeting the gaze quite steadily.

"Take Morgause then, you can probably manage her on your own," Leon said. "I'll help with Cenred. You two lend a hand," he ordered a couple of the lingering knights.

Gwaine let the order stand. All he wanted to do was get the situation sorted and then get Merlin away. He tried not to cringe as he took Cenred's shoulders. Percival hesitated as Morgana clung harder to Morgause.

"You're not taking her anywhere!"

The knights pulled back, Percival looked at Leon, which diverted Morgana's attention towards him. Her eyes were filled with fury, but no magic rose in her. Leon watched her warily. So did Gwaine half expecting some show of power but Morgana just simply glared. Gwaine thought about it for a moment, wondering if things were still just a little out of place. Balinor's whole theory had been that things were setting themselves back on track but he got the feeling this had been too soon. For Morgana at least. Gwaine turned his attention to Balinor, who had followed Merlin. He was keeping his son close now, and would follow where Merlin wanted to go. And it was Balinor who stepped forward to answer.

"Arthur wants all the bodies taken to the main hall, nothing more. Just let her go, let Percival carry her," Balinor ordered, his voice carrying a subtle sense of authority. The knights looked at him in awe.

They could do nothing but respect the Dragonlord. He had protected and cared for the King. There had been no recrimination from Balinor. Maybe Morgause had expected it from him, but Merlin had changed him. And Merlin hadn't weakened him, as Morgause, Gwaine reasoned, wanted. Instead Merlin had made his father into someone who could forgive, and who could be stronger for that very reason.

Morgana stared at Balinor, so did Leon as he heard the authority leak from his himself did turning to look up at the Dragonlord. Gwaine took a firmer grip of Cenred shoulders and looked to Leon, raising his eyebrows. That was taken as a signal and very carefully they lifted Cenred's body. Gwaine tried not to cringe again. The smell of burnt flesh lingered in the air and it was not a pretty sight. Morgana had sat back, relaxing her grip, eyes down, now staring at nothing in particular. Percival lifted Morgause, picking her body up as if she weighed almost nothing.

All of them sent glances Morgana's way, quite unsure what to do with her. She remained on the floor, not looking at any of them. Balinor stepped towards her and held out his hand.

"Lady Morgana, come with me."

As Morgana's eyes slowly lifted Gwaine saw the hate in them. Cyan gave an uncertain rumble and Merlin glanced at him. Gwaine had taken Cenred's shoulders, Merlin was carefully holding his head. Balinor looked down at Morgana.

"Come with me," Balinor repeated. Morgana glared up at him and refused to move. Reaching down Balinor took Morgana's hand and gently drew her onto her feet. Despite the reluctance on her part, Morgana stood with him.

"Percival will take your sister to the great hall. Merlin… Cenred will be brought down as well."

Merlin nodded and stayed by Gwaine holding Cenred's head up as the knights carried him out. As they reached the hallway they paused. Leon turned and said.

"On our shoulders will be better."

They moved his body carefully, lifting him up so Cenred stayed level. Gwaine took one shoulder and arm and Leon the other and Merlin tailed at Cenred's head, holding it gently, so it didn't drop back. Cyan trotted at his heels and Percival walked behind them carrying Morgause. It was certainly not with the respect that Cenred was shown but he took her gently enough, his eyes locked quiet distinctly on Merlin.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The sun had started to set as Arthur walked into the main hall and looked at the scene he was presented with. Gwaine lingered nearby, glancing at Arthur briefly before turning his eyes back to the centre of the room, where Cenred had been carefully laid out, befitting his status as a king. Merlin sat next to him, perched on a chair, with Cyan sat by his side. It would have been traditional for people to come and see the body, to pay their respects but it was not Cenred that people came to the hall for. Gwen had been in, bringing Merlin, and Cyan and Thor, something to eat. Merlin had eaten what she had put in front of him but apathetically. Gaius had appeared to check Merlin over, and had then carted Balinor away to deal with his various injuries. The Dragonlord had been through just as much of an ordeal as Uther had. If not worse.

That was why Gwaine was now sharing the vigil with Merlin. Lancelot had been in to check on them, while Arthur was looking after Uther, and to provide clothing for Cenred. They had found some chain mail and armour, and Arthur had donated one of his shields and a sword. Gaius had wrapped Cenred's hands and face in cloth, the damage was too much to look at. Not that Merlin probably cared. Gwaine gave Arthur a fleeting smile in greeting, which was not particularly befitting what should occur between the Prince and a knight of Camelot but Arthur let it go. Despite the fact that Gwaine was wearing Camelot's colours his loyalty still clearly lay with Merlin. Arthur didn't really want to argue with that. Instead he looked at Merlin. Gwaine straightened up from his slouch and carefully walked over to Arthur.

"Sire. How is your father?"

"Sleeping now at least, is Merlin all right?"

"He's got through everything else fate has thrown at him. However he does it, he'll deal with this as well. He's not alone in it."

Arthur frowned and stared at Gwaine, whose face had taken on a very odd expression. Gwaine had turned his head to look at Merlin and Cenred, before glancing back at Arthur and seeing the quizzical look. Gwaine went back to looking at Merlin.

"I couldn't honestly tell you if I liked the man or not, but he cared about Merlin."

"Enough to sacrifice himself to help him."

"It was him or Balinor, and Cenred would never do that to Merlin."

"What?" Arthur asked.

"That was what the dragon said, two people had survived past their fate, Balinor was one of them, Cenred I guess, was the other."

"You believe that?"

Gwaine huffed. "Something is playing a game with us. Those slavers should never have gone to Merlin's village, he should have grown up there, happy and content, until he somehow met you. Hunith died in the raid, Merlin lost the parent he should have had, so fate gave him the one that was still alive."

"But Balinor should have died."

"The moment came when you went to find him. Cyan intervened. Whatever those creatures do, part of their job is to keep Merlin on the path that has been made."

"You make it sound as if we have no control over anything," Arthur said.

"I don't think that's true. I think what happens now is very much up to us. I saw the pyre."

Arthur frowned and then glared at Gwaine. "That's for Morgause. She's a sorceress, the body should be burnt and the ashes scattered. I can't do anything else, I'm fighting enough issues as it is. I have to let that happen."

"But you'll bury Cenred in Camelot's royal crypt?"

"I don't doubt that his castle, if it has a library, probably has a crypt, but I can't allow the time to take him there."

"Someone else would do it," Gwaine said, and then he smirked. "But you don't want Merlin to go."

"People with magic are not that welcome in Camelot. Balinor may choose to go and not return."

"I don't think he will do so, Merlin is meant to be here, with you. He knows that. But it's a good thing to do. Cenred saved the situation, even if it was just for Merlin."

"Really?"

Gwaine grinned briefly. "Well, I don't think he cared that much about you. But he did about Merlin, that's why he didn't let Merlin heal him. He could have let Merlin use the cup, but to save a life, you have to take one. He must have known it was Balinor, Merlin could only have one or the other, and Cenred knew how much Balinor meant to Merlin."

"But if Balinor was already dead, then Cenred would have survived."

Gwaine sighed. "If that had been the case then no force of fate could have killed Cenred. He'd be the only one that could have dealt with Merlin gaining the powers of a Dragonlord. If what we know is right, then it was true that he should have taken that power. Merlin is not ready to be a Dragonlord, if he was given the power I'm of the opinion that Cenred would be the only one able to control him."

"How would he have been in Camelot, with me, when that happened?" Arthur asked, looking at Merlin. Gwaine shrugged.

"No idea and it's not worth thinking about. Whatever should have happened is never going to happen. What we have is the here and now. Merlin is a warlock, he possesses a natural ability to do magic. His father is a Dragonlord, and in time that power will pass to Merlin. That wolf and crow are something to do with it as well, but I don't think anyone can really explain them. Merlin should have been with you but there is no way to know how. And I think the why is something we might find out."

Gwaine turned to look at Arthur.

"I don't get much about this situation, and I don't claim to. But for some reason, Merlin and you are tied into this together. You're the future king of Camelot and he's a creature of magic beyond compare. Whatever was meant to occur it's important. That is the only thing you need to remember."

Arthur gaped, half at what Gwaine was saying and because Gwaine was saying it.

"I'll have to rule in my father's stead for a while and I'll become king eventually, that's it."

Gwaine shook his head. "You think, after all this, it's a simple as that?"

Arthur had no answer; instead he turned away from Gwaine and the oddly serious conversation and walked towards Merlin.

"Oh, and Arthur?"

He turned back to Gwaine who added.

"Don't ask."

Arthur frowned and went towards Merlin. As he moved closer Arthur got the hint. He had donated the shield, which had carried his coat of arms, and it was a little battered. Now it displayed Cenred's symbol, bright and clear. He got the hint and took Gwaine's advice. He pretended he didn't see it.

At the sound of footsteps Merlin lifted his head. He smiled as he saw Arthur, but it still somehow made Merlin look mournful. Cyan lifted his head and Thor, on the rafter above, peered down. Arthur smiled and crouched down in front of Merlin, gently taking his hand.

"Are you all right?"

"Father is hurt."

"I think your father will be fine, are you all right?"

"Yes," Merlin said. He looked at Arthur with a worried expression. "I'm not meant to be here am I? You think people with magic are bad."

Arthur smiled, squeezing Merlin's hand. "One thing I am very sure of Merlin, is that you are not bad, and neither is your father. And that you are meant to be here."

"What about Morgana?"

Arthur sighed. "I don't know. Let's just deal with things as they happen. Tomorrow we can put Cenred in the crypt. We can lock the sword and the cup in the vaults, they will be safe there."

Merlin pouted, a frown forming on his face as he considered that.

"We should tell father, he might be cross."

"Maybe we should, we got the dragon to make the sword, Balinor is responsible for him in a way. We'll do that Merlin."

Merlin nodded and turned his head, a smile brightening up his face as Balinor slowly walked into the hall. He was still hobbling a little due to the various injuries he had received. Arthur slowly stood up as Balinor came towards them, Merlin slipped off the chair, bumping down onto the floor next to Cyan to let his father sit down. Balinor paused for a moment, instead giving a brief nod to Arthur.

"Sire."

"Sit down," Arthur said. "Are you all right?"

"Gaius says I'll be fine, it is just mainly bruising."

"I'm sorry."

"I'll heal," Balinor said, putting his hand on Merlin's head. Merlin didn't exactly rest against Balinor's leg but he snuggled closer, keeping his arms around Cyan.

"We were just discussing the sword," Arthur said. Balinor nodded.

"Yes, Gaius told me what you asked Kilgharrah to do."

"I doubt we would have achieved it without him, but he did warn us about the power of the weapon."

"It is not something to be taken lightly, in the wrong hands it could become terrible."

"I'm not entirely sure what to do with it."

Balinor frowned and glanced down at Merlin briefly before looking up. "A weapon such as that would be a Dragonlord's responsibility. We can ensure it's safe."

Arthur blinked, it was a bit of a leap of faith, but looking from Balinor to Merlin he wondered how he could not trust them. So in the end he nodded.

"Very well."

Cyan gave what sounded like a distinctly satisfied rumble, but that could simply have been because Merlin was rubbing his ears.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

It was a quiet and sombre affair as Cenred was put to rest in the crypt. Only Merlin, Balinor, Arthur, the knights and Gaius attended. Merlin had said nothing as Cenred's body was placed in the sarcophagus, but he had gently laid his hand on it and he seemed to mumble something under his breath. Arthur presumed it was some kind of goodbye and left it alone. It was the only thing that was spoken before they slowly made their way out into the courtyard.

The sound of clattering hooves drew their attention. Arthur frowned as he didn't immediately recognise the horses that the grooms were attempting to move, both the animals resisting.

Two grooms were trying to lead each horse along and two behind were trying to get them moving, and neither horse was having any of it.

Neither was Merlin as he glared in outrage at the men trying to force the horses along. One was about to deliver a blow with a whip to the flanks of the big black gelding. The groom almost slipped over as the whip flew from his hand. He looked around in shock, jumping a mile as a voice rang out.

"Stop that!" Merlin bellowed. It distracted all of them. The black horse reared up causing the groom holding one of the ropes to fall. The other youth desperately tried to control the horse as Merlin went running over. Before the prone boy could be struck by the flailing hooves as the horse came down, he was yanked clear; although by what, none of the witnesses could see. A second later Merlin stepped over him, took the lead rope as the horse's front feet clattered down. He glared at the other boy, who immediately released his own rope. Merlin efficiently gathered the trailing ends up like Cenred, and later Gwaine, had shown him to do. The horse stood still and patiently waited, nuzzling his nose into Merlin's hair, suddenly acting as gentle as a lamb. Merlin patted the questing nose, which made the horse huff happily.

The other grooms around the mare stared in shock. The mare took advantage, backing up to pull herself free, dragging the two men leading her over. Again the grooms seemed to bounce away, landing harmlessly away from the hooves so the mare could trot over to Merlin. Everyone gaped at the sudden change in both horses behaviour as they nudged each other, and Merlin. Cyan snuffled nearer, but neither horse seemed perturbed by the beast.

"What is going on?" Arthur demanded of the stable master, who had been overseeing the move and was staring at Merlin in terror. Arthur's voice drew his attention.

"We were just moving them out, Sire. They're not Camelot's horses."

Arthur frowned, giving both horses a glance. They looked like good enough animals, and Merlin easily ended the ownership argument.

"They're mine!"

The stable master seemed ready to object to that. They had arrived when the immortal army had, and he wanted them gone. Merlin however changed that completely.

"Put them in my stable," Arthur ordered calmly, again looking the horses over. "They'll be fine there Merlin. No one is going to take them away from you."

"Yes, Sire," the stable master said, getting ready to sort the grooms out. Merlin glared at him again.

"I'll do it," he said.

"All right, let me show you Merlin," Arthur said. Arthur almost reached to take one of the horses, so he could lead one and Merlin take the other, but the black gelding stepped away from him, shifting so he was directly behind Merlin.

"I can manage, I'll groom them too," Merlin said, brushing the neck of the gelding and eyeing the result critically, before shifting his grip so he could lead a horse on either side. Arthur shrugged, aware of the gathering audience and he led Merlin towards the right building with him bringing both horses with him. Cyan trotted at the rear. Gwaine raised his eyebrows, having watched the entire scene. Thor flew across the courtyard, landing briefly on a statue to preen himself before following along. The knight tilted his head in Balinor's direction.

"I think your menagerie has just doubled."

Balinor gave him a steady look back. "I think we might need more space."


	29. P3 Chapter 6

Arthur rubbed his neck as he walked. He was aching from sitting in the council chamber for so long. It was over a week since he had regained his kingdom and it was taking a while for the dust to settle. Behind him Lancelot followed as a calm stoic presence, as did George, the boy who had taken over Lancelot's place as servant. It seemed a little much to expect the now knight to return to his previous duties, but Arthur was having trouble changing to the new regime.

The boy was fine enough and efficient, and could do the job. But he was not Lancelot. Arthur had toyed with the idea of offering Merlin the job, since it seemed a good way to keep Merlin around, and close to him, but Arthur had backed out. For one thing he didn't want to anger Balinor, and he wasn't sure how the Dragonlord would take such a suggestion.

It was fair to say the council were becoming increasingly concerned over Merlin and Balinor's presence. It was unprecedented. Balinor had been under threat of execution when he had fled. Arthur however, could not be moved on the subject. He was acting as Regent, and it was his right to enforce the law anyway he saw fit. But it brought up a lot of discomfort, a fact which the council had spent the morning making perfectly clear.

In the end Arthur had cut short the debate, insisting he needed to train with the knights. The day to day practicalities were getting back onto an even keel, which was good enough for Arthur, so it could be good enough for the rest of Camelot.

"What do you think?" Arthur eventually said, turning to Lancelot. Who frowned, thinking about it in his usual serious fashion.

"I think it's a good idea you didn't suggest that Balinor sit in on the council."

"I suggested it to Balinor, he said perhaps it was a good idea to wait a while."

"Possibly a good move. I guess you eventually want him on the council."

Arthur stopped walking, Lancelot took one step to be level with him and George lingered behind. Arthur turned to him.

"Go and get my equipment from the armoury and take it out to the training field."

"Yes, Sire," George said, bowing before he headed off. Arthur tried not to roll his eyes and Lancelot tried not to smirk.

"He's doing a good job," Lancelot said diplomatically.

"You did a better one. It's just no one knows how to deal with this, least of all me it seems. If I advocate the presence of a sorcerer and a Dragonlord, then it could seem like I advocate magic. We know that's not all good."

Lancelot didn't answer for a minute, while he thought about it.

"I don't think so. It's the same as breaking the rule and knighting myself, Gwaine, Elyan and Percival, there was good reason for it, and we've proved that. You have disagreed with your father before regarding his policy on dealing with sorcery, publicly enough that people might realise you won't react like Uther."

Arthur nodded, knowing that Lancelot was, indirectly, referring to Gwen's father and the incident that had caused his death.

"And besides," Lancelot continued. "Merlin doesn't really use his magic. I know people have witnessed it but the occasions are rare, if he can do something by hand he will do."

"I guess," Arthur said. "My horses have never been so well groomed."

Lancelot smiled. "Plus most of the witnessed events are when he is trying to protect people. He stopped Morgana's men from shooting and randomly killing them. It's not something people forget, he stood up to Morgana and everyone saw it."

"That's another thing, what the hell do I do with Morgana? I can hardly execute her for sorcery."

"If nothing else, I think that might upset Merlin," Lancelot said. Arthur huffed.

"A few of the council are hinting at putting her on trial for treason."

Arthur started walking and Lancelot fell into step with him. It felt easier now. They had done it many times before, but he had been the prince's servant. With ideas above his station, many people had said. They probably still said it now, but Lancelot had achieved the knighthood quite legitimately, and it didn't bother him. He still felt it was somehow his place to let Arthur talk about these things, and he answered, and Lancelot never commented on how much of what he said was used by Arthur. Most of the time, he could just make Arthur feel better about what he decided to do, even if his father thought it was not fitting of the prince's station. Lancelot thought it made Arthur much better in his station. He was far more real to the people that Uther was, it was what had made his transition as Regent so easy.

"It's only been a week, I do think you need to question Morgana properly regarding what happened."

"Is that a reprimand for avoiding her?" Arthur asked. Lancelot shrugged.

"Possibly."

Arthur smirked. "How is Gwen getting on with her?"

"She's quiet, Morgana that is. No sign of her using sorcery, but we don't know how strong she really is."

"She must know that at the first sign of anything she'll be killed," Arthur said. "I'm not sure what to do. I don't know if I can manage her."

Lancelot nodded. "Maybe Merlin could talk to her."

"Merlin?" Arthur said in disbelief, his eyes drifting for a second. Lancelot frowned.

"Well, he must understand some…" Lancelot trailed off as Arthur suddenly backtracked, going down the corridor to get out into the courtyard at a sharp run. As Lancelot glanced out to see what had caused Arthur to move so suddenly he understood Arthur's sudden shock.

Arthur felt something akin to panic as he went out to find Merlin and Balinor out in the courtyard checking the horses over. He was even more surprised to see Gaius appear, leading a small white pony that was also tacked up, with a bedroll tied to the saddle and a bag looped over the pommel. Fear clenched his insides, they had made no mention of leaving. It was obviously not easy for them, staying in Camelot, but Arthur had been certain to assure them of their safety.

"What's going on? Where are you going?"

"Home," Merlin said simply. Arthur did feel panicked by that answer. He obviously looked it as well as Balinor clarified what Merlin meant.

"We're going to Ealdor, or at least, to where it was. I think it's something we all need to do."

Arthur glanced from Gaius, to Merlin to Balinor, to Merlin again. It was Merlin more than anyone that needed this trip. To face the past and what had happened to him.

"You can't travel alone, especially not beyond the ridge, it's so unsettled there. You need protection."

"Hello!" Gwaine said loudly, waving his hand and drawing attention to himself as he stood there, readying his own horse. He was in his travelling clothes, planning to not stand out as a knight. But he was able enough when it came to fighting.

"And we are also quite used to looking after ourselves," Balinor said.

"I know but still, you should travel with more than that… well, more than you!" Arthur said to Gwaine. Gwaine didn't conceal his look of offence.

"Give me some time, I can be ready. I'll come with you."

"Arthur, you have a kingdom to run," Balinor said. "We'll be fine, it will only be a few days, and we'll be back within the week."

Merlin mounted the big black horse giving Arthur a reassuring smile, Gwaine and Gaius mounted up as well. Balinor looked at Arthur, reaching out to clasp his shoulder.

"You need to be here, we'll be fine."

"At least let me send a few more of the knights, they can catch you up. They don't need to wear their colours, but you shouldn't travel alone like this."

"Very well, we'll be taking the forest road, and we won't rush. Don't worry about us, we're not leaving. I just think this needs to be done, for me as well as Merlin."

Arthur blinked, and then it occurred to him. Merlin had lost his mother, Balinor had lost his wife. They had not been formally married, but had created a child together, they had loved each other. Arthur nodded and stepped back. Balinor mounted the bay mare, which snorted and tossed her head, stilling down as Balinor gently stroked her withers. He urged her on so she was next to the gelding and the group steadily rode out of the courtyard.

"Where are they going?" Lancelot asked, eventually catching up. Arthur turned.

"Ealdor, to say goodbye to Merlin's mother."

"That's understandable, I don't think Merlin has really got over what happened. It can't be easy for him," Lancelot said.

Arthur wasn't quite sure what suddenly tugged on his emotions, but he made up his mind, glancing over at Lancelot.

"I'll talk to Leon, be ready to travel by noon."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Merlin was happily collecting wood when he heard the horses. It didn't sound like many, but they were running and the drumming sound caused Merlin to flinch, the memory rising again. He calmed it down quickly, and easily. Cyan followed at his heels; Balinor, Gwaine and Gaius were not far away and Merlin could, he knew, take care of himself. He just didn't like inflicting injuries, and hurting people. It was something that only came as a very last resort.

He relaxed as he saw the first horse, and the rider's blond hair. He stepped into view and waved, almost losing his bundle of branches in the process.

"Hello!" Merlin said brightly, making Arthur smile. He drew the horse to a halt and dismounted. Merlin tried to control his wood and then beamed up at Lancelot, who followed Arthur's lead and jumped off.

"Are you all right Merlin?"

"Yes, we're camped just over there, I'm just getting some wood."

"I can see that, hello Cyan."

The wolf greeted Arthur effusively, his tail wagging to make his entire back end shake and he licked at Arthur's hand. It had been noted that Cyan was always happy to see him. He left Arthur to greet Lancelot, snuffling his nose against his leg, and putting his muzzle under his hand. Obligingly Lancelot petted him and then Cyan left to run around to Merlin, bounding about.

"Do you need some help Merlin?" Lancelot asked, as he almost lost his wood again. Arthur turned and took the reins of Lancelot's horse.

"I'll take the horses to the camp and get them settled."

Arthur had almost turned away when Merlin suddenly spoke.

"Arthur?"

He turned to look at Merlin, who smiled shyly. "I'm glad you came."

"So am I, Merlin."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

None of them in the camp had been surprised at Arthur's arrival. They had eaten the stew that Balinor had cooked, which Arthur had been surprised to find was delicious, and Balinor had kept the rabbit skins. Merlin had lost his old gloves months ago, he needed more. Lancelot had offered Gwen's services in making them.

Sitting around the fire had been quite companionable in Arthur's opinion, and it felt right. But they had all very carefully avoided the topic of their trip. Arthur had simply ascertained from Balinor and Gaius that it would be no more than half a day's ride to reach the remains of Ealdor. None of them were sure what they might find. And Merlin had been a little subdued during the course of the evening.

Arthur wasn't quite sure what had made him stir but as he opened his eyes he tensed automatically, sensing something out of place in the camp. Sitting up, he realised Merlin was awake, huddled by the glowing embers of the fire, his arms wrapped around Cyan, who patiently sat and let Merlin do what he needed for comfort. The wolf rumbled on occasion, gently huffing into Merlin's ear, as if he was murmuring comforting endearments to his master.

Cyan huffed again as Arthur pushed the blankets away and clambered out, coming to sit on Merlin's left. Merlin jumped as he was snapped out of his contemplation but he relaxed as he saw Arthur sit next to him. Picking up a stick Arthur prodded the embers, hoping to encourage a few more flames. He wasn't particularly successful, and he wondered where Lancelot had put the flint when all of a sudden the fire took, only small but enough for Arthur to know he hadn't started it. Glancing at Merlin he saw the golden glow fade from his eyes, and he gave Arthur a furtive look.

"Thank you," Arthur said, adding some more of the firewood. Arthur only had a rudimentary understanding of magic, but he was starting to realise that Merlin was something beyond anyone else he had encountered. They sat in silence for a few minutes, the sounds of the forest moving around them, and the fire crackling gently, sparks flying off into the night air.

"Are you all right Merlin?"

"Yes," Merlin said, his tone still a little subdued. Arthur reached out to put a hand on Merlin's arm. He slackened his grip on Cyan so Arthur could grip him comfortably.

"It's hard to go back sometimes."

"I don't want to remember the bad men."

"Going to Ealdor isn't about the bad men, they aren't there. The bad men have gone."

"Mother's gone too."

"I'm sorry Merlin," Arthur said. "None of it could have been easy."

Merlin shook his head, his eyes a little cloudy, lost in the memory of what happened.

"What was your mother like?" Arthur asked, genuinely curious. Merlin frowned, biting on his lip before he answered.

"Nice, and she sang I think, when I couldn't sleep. I don't remember, not all of it, just bits."

"You were young though?"

"Ten," Merlin said. "I'm twenty now. Father said, and Gaius."

"They would probably know, haven't they told you things about your mother?"

Merlin shook his head, his expression turning a little stubborn.

"Not what I remember."

Arthur stayed silent for a moment. The tone of Merlin's voice told him he really didn't want to talk about it.

"I don't remember my mother, I wouldn't. She died when I was born. My father never told me anything about her. People say I look like her. I saw an image of her, but Morgause showed it to me, so I don't know if it was true."

"Why?" Merlin asked.

"She made the image to make me hate my father, I don't know what part of it was true. If anything. I don't want to think that my mother hated him."

"She didn't, she wanted to have you, she knew what it meant."

"Nimueh told you that."

"Yes, and she wouldn't lie, I promise."

Arthur smiled, glancing at Merlin who gave a tentative smile back. They looked at each other for a moment before looking back into the fire. It felt pleasant to Arthur, sitting there with Merlin. He wanted to ask questions but he equally felt that he was probing into something that Merlin wanted to keep for himself, struggling to remember things about his mother. He should have been old enough to retain some impressions but he had also then suffered horrifically for the next few years and that probably had something to do with it. His memory wasn't as good as it should have been.

He hardly realised he was making the gesture as he suddenly reached up to put his arm around Merlin's shoulders. It occurred to him as Merlin shuffled closer, pressing himself against Arthur, enjoying the closeness. He had always been fond of the comforting hugs his father had given him. Merlin snuggled against him, huffing happily. Arthur could hardly believe it, something in his mind telling him that it wasn't appropriate. It was, however, appropriate for Merlin. He was still very childlike, and innocent, and Arthur liked it. Despite everything that had happened to him Merlin remained sweet-natured and kind. But the part of him underneath couldn't be ignored. There was anger, bordering on hatred and the power Merlin had made those emotions dangerous. Arthur didn't want him turning out like Morgause, or even Morgana, allowing the hatred to take hold.

"Merlin?"

Merlin gave a happy little murmur.

"When we get back, could you do something for me?"

Merlin shifted a little, his head lifting a fraction from where he had put it down on Arthur's shoulder.

"What?"

"Talk to Morgana."

"About what?"

Arthur paused, he wasn't entirely sure about that. He didn't know what to say to the woman that he now knew was his sister, half-sister. She had become deeply entangled with Morgause, and Arthur wasn't entirely sure he could extract Morgana from that.

"I'm not sure," Arthur said, causing Merlin to murmur in confusion. "But, you know about magic, about having magic, like Morgana does. She probably needs someone to talk to, I don't want to have to do anything without trying to understand what she did."

Merlin murmured again, sounding thoughtful. "She's not bad like Morgause." He didn't sound entirely sure of that fact, neither was Arthur, but he didn't think he would get near.

"I hope not, but you might be able to help her. I don't think anyone else can right now."

He felt Merlin's head move as he nodded.

"I'll talk to her."


	30. P3 Chapter 7

They veered off the main trail once they had passed the ridge. The track they took was much less used, but there were the remnants of an old road, if you looked for them. Arthur spotted them, brushing aside the moss to find a marker, telling them they didn't have much further to go. Over the morning Merlin had become quieter and increasingly apprehensive. Cyan stayed on the heels of Merlin's horse, and Thor settled on the pommel of the saddle, both of the animals staying as close as they could to Merlin.

Arthur turned back to watch them. He couldn't help it, as much as he didn't mind the animals, and Cyan was easily likeable, it still disturbed him. There was some force at work between the animals and Merlin. Thor was the worst of the two, the watchful bird seemed to take everything in, the glittering, dark eyes sending shivers down his spine when they looked at Arthur. He turned away again, easing his horse through the trees and out onto open ground.

Here the old track was obvious. It was thin now, weeds and grass sprouting in clumps, but the way they had grown showed the way they needed to go and as they cantered along they reached their destination. All of them paused. To their right lay a post, a charred sentinel to lead the way. It seemed to Arthur to be the remains of a house, he glanced around. What he saw lay a short distance away but there was a new house, possibly built from an old remnant. The ground nearest to them had not been touched, things sprouted, lay in clumps, grass forcing it's way up through the rugged remains. But beyond that, the area had changed, things were growing, and the new home had seemed to appear from the ruins.

"Someone has moved in," Gwaine commented.

"Not that long ago," Arthur mused pushing his horse forward, taking it at a walk and looked around. "The house is new, and they are just here on their own. Are there any other villages near here?"

"Two of them lie to the west, it's only a small journey, and through the forest track there is the town of Wendhall," Gaius said. "Ealdor used to be on the route that ran though. When the raiders came, the travellers seemed to stop. The people tried to take the forest route but the raiders still worked here for a while."

"Someone doesn't seem to want to give into them. If we are going to be around here, we had better make ourselves known. If there are issues here, I want to know, we can help," Arthur said.

He turned to look at Merlin. Merlin's face was pale, his eyes opaque, moving over the ground as if he could bring everything to mind, as if he was seeing everything that had happened and it was superimposing itself on what was there now. It looked to Arthur like a peaceful stretch of ground, but his mind also clocked the ruins, the odd lumps on the ground and the road that broke through all that. If he followed it faithfully he would bypass the small cottage that had been so carefully built. As they made their way towards it, someone stood up, from where they had been digging in the nearby field. It was a woman, and she ran to the house. Arthur flinched but carried on his way, heading towards the cottage, making sure he didn't disturb the carefully planted crops. As he came close, he halted and dismounted and he went to the house.

The young girl came out, followed by an old man.

"We have nothing for you!" the old man snapped.

"Is this where Ealdor used to stand? We want nothing more than to respect those who died," Arthur said getting swiftly to the point.

"Why?"

"Because Merlin was born here, he was a child when he was taken," Gaius said. Merlin said nothing, he had dismounted without a word and wandered off with Cyan trailing on his heels, Thor had swooped down, waddling though the grass and crops, hopping on occasion. The bird's head tilted when he paused to look around as if he was doing the same as Merlin. Merlin stared, his eyes not entirely focused, because he was seeing the world with another layer, one that had been lost long ago. He could see the houses, tiny little cottages, and the pig pen, and the fields where he had stood when the raiders had charged towards them. Merlin ambled in that direction, stumbling on occasion. Balinor glanced at Arthur before trailing in Merlin's wake. Arthur took the hint and went back to talking to the two people who now lived there.

"He was ten when it happened to him," Arthur said. "Raiders destroyed the village, you can't have been from here."

He addressed the young woman. She looked to be about Merlin's age. Merlin hadn't really known the fate of any of the others. Some of the other children had been taken that day, if part of the story Merlin had told had been correct, but it was muddled in his mind. Something which he couldn't be blamed for.

The woman shook her head, she looked at Arthur intensely, taking in how well dressed he was. She looked around the rest of the group, and then up to Merlin, who had stopped in an area of ground that had not been cultivated yet. He was quivering as he looked around, almost exactly in the spot he had stood on when he had watched Hunith die. Balinor approached Merlin carefully, not wanting to spook him. It was bound to make Merlin feel a little fragile, however much he had healed. They watched Balinor take Merlin's hand and he started talking in a low tone.

"No," she said, her eyes on Merlin. "Nor my father." She indicated to the old man who hovered at her side. "We are from the village just through the forest, our village was lucky, they didn't turn our way."

"No offence, but what made you come and settle here?" Gwaine asked the girl. Arthur glowered at him. Her father glared as well, looking belligerent. She reached out a hand and gripped his wrist.

"My husband, we married last year, he was born in Ealdor. He wanted to settle here, he has his own ghosts."

"He would have probably been close to Merlin's age, he would have to have known him," Lancelot said.

"Have you travelled far? You are welcome to rest and…" She tailed off, looking around helplessly, eyes eventually resting on Merlin. Merlin still seemed to be in a world of his own, looking distressed as the memories filtered back.

"From Camelot," Arthur said. "I'm sorry; I'm Arthur, and this is Lancelot, Gwaine and Gaius."

He ran through the introductions, noticing that the man's eyes narrowed as Arthur mentioned his own name. His name, linked with Camelot, made it easy to make assumptions. He said nothing for the moment, this trip had nothing to do with him. Arthur had come for Merlin.

"I'm Sarah, this is my father Richard. We can't offer much in the way of hospitality…" she said. Arthur shook his head.

"No matter, we can find somewhere to camp quite easily, as long as you don't mind us here. I don't know how long we may want to stay. It depends on Merlin," Arthur said.

"Is he all right?" Sarah asked.

"His father will look after him," Gwaine said.

"What are those beasts doing?" Richard asked, watching Cyan snuffle his nose against the ground.

"They're Merlin's," Gwaine said casually. "He found them as young creatures, they're quite tame."

Cyan was sticking close to Merlin, sniffing the ground around them, his tail ceasing to wag. There wasn't much enthusiasm about his movement. He certainly wasn't bounding about in the usual way. Thor hopped about, swooping past Cyan who snapped his teeth at the bird.

"Stop it!" Merlin hollered at the pair as they darted at each other. All of them watched as both creatures paused, Cyan backing up from Merlin, at the sudden authority in his voice, which was also thick with tears. Balinor tightened his hand on Merlin's.

"You said that man was his father, was he not from Ealdor?" Richard asked, his tone lower and less aggressive than before.

"No, it's a long story," Gwaine said. "I think maybe we should get settled, I don't think there is anything we can do for Merlin for the time being."

"You're right," Arthur said. "If you will permit us, we can make camp somewhere close by…"

He started and tailed off as someone appeared down a short track that led from the forest. The man led a horse, on whose back had been strapped a bundle of firewood and a basket carrying some greens and other items scavenged from the forest. The young man paused when he realised a group of strangers had appeared. Arthur guessed this was Sarah's husband. He gazed at the group of people by the small house and then turned to look at Balinor and Merlin. Merlin stared back.

As they stared at each other Arthur guessed there was some recognition. The man had dropped the lead he was holding and the horse, knowing where it was, knowing that food and rest were not far away, ambled towards the house, heading around the side where the small stable stood. Lancelot reached out and caught the animal's trailing lead before the horse could stumble over it and halted the creature, who snorted and tried to nip him on the arm, a little half-heartedly. Lancelot didn't even notice, his eyes were locked on the scene in front of him. Nobody dared to move for fear of breaking the concentration between Merlin and the new arrival.

Sarah's husband took a slow, careful, step forward, looking down as if he expected the ground to disappear out from underneath his feet. Before he asked in an incredulous voice,

"Merlin?"

Merlin took two shaky steps forward, and then he started to walk, speeding up as he went to meet the man who clearly recognised him. He recoiled a little but Merlin flung his arms around the man's shoulders, clinging on tightly as he started to cry. Sarah took a tentative step forward.

"Will?" she asked.

But her husband didn't hear her as he wrapped his arms around Merlin and held on for dear life.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Merlin? Run!"

"Run, into the trees, both of you…" Hunith was shouting but the horse stopped her, as she veered into it's path waving her arms in an attempt to startle it. The horse reared, almost jumping in the air, it's hooves flailing. Hunith stumbled, falling into the horse's path as it came down, it's nearside hoof smashing into her head as she fell. The impact caused her head to snap to the side, a bright spray of liquid came from her skull as she fell. Merlin stopped moving. Will tugged on Merlin's arm.

"She said run, run!"

Merlin didn't move. Will found it terrifying, there were the horses and confusion and Hunith stayed still. In the end as he tugged, he lost his grip on Merlin's hand and Will stumbled back and then ran. There were the trees just behind him, his eyes fixed on the edge of the woods and he went towards them. The sounds behind him meant nothing, it was all about running to the trees, that was what Hunith told them to do. As he reached the safety of the shadows he paused, just to turn. Merlin was over the neck of one of the horses and Hunith lay still on the ground. Will whimpered as the horses came in his direction.

"Run!"

That was the word that Hunith had screamed at them. They had to run. Will turned round and hurtled off. He would do as he was told.

He got tired, in the end, and he was thirsty. He found a puddle and drank and he tried to run, and run, but had to stop. His body quivered at the thought of doing any more and it was dark, the sun fading away from the trees. Shivering, disorientated and frightened, Will found a hole and tucked into it, staying there for the night, not even moving when the desire to relieve himself came upon him. Too scared to move he pissed into his pants and lay still. The urine adding a temporary warmth to the little crevice he huddled in.

That was not a fact that Prince Arthur wanted to know but he stayed still, said nothing and continued to listen to the story.

The wetness was warm, for a while and as he shivered, at least he knew no one had touched him. It was quiet and safe, until the light. When he woke he could hear the sounds around him. He had to run. That was the only way to stay safe. As he ran he saw a shadow move and he screamed veering away and hurling headlong into another man. He screamed again in panic, his voice raw and frightened. He just had to get away, and he turned, going headlong into a tree trying to get away. Falling down he screamed as he was lifted, not registering how gentle it was. It took them a little while, but the men who had found him calmed him down.

They were those from Ealdor who had survived, and from the other villages who had already found some of the survivors and many of the dead. As he realised he was safe Will went silent and stayed that way. He was taken to the nearby village and he was cared for, but he would say nothing. Slowly words came from his mouth, raw and badly formed, only helped by his pointing and gestures. Withdrawn Will felt safe. But he never would in the world beyond that, he never truly settled the demons. It had taken him over a year to form something even close to a sentence.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The group was silent as Will finished the story. Merlin continued to cling to him, he had hardly let Will go since they had been reunited. If they had to separate Merlin lingered close. Balinor backed off and let Merlin do what he needed. Will didn't seem to mind, although he looked confused by the need for contact.

"I left him, I ran away," Will said. Sarah sat on his other side, staring at her husband like she had never seen him before. He had never spoken quite so openly about what had happened.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Arthur said. "There was nothing you could have done to stop them, you saved yourself."

"But I left Merlin."

"Merlin survived in his own way," Arthur said, smiling at Merlin who smiled back.

"Why did you come back?" Gwaine asked. He leant back as several pairs of eyes glared at him. They were sat around a fire close to the house because the small little hut would not accommodate them all. Lancelot and Gwaine had hunted for food. Arthur couldn't seem to leave Merlin, who stared in horror if the prince tried to leave his line of sight.

They had cooked outside, and now sat close to the safety of Will and Sarah's home. Will took a deep breath.

"I had to."

"Really, I'm not being insensitive, we know things are going on, things that we can't control. I want to know if this is something like that. You just had to?" Gwaine asked.

Will nodded, but his father-in-law answered for him.

"He'd always walk this way, when he wandered off from the village, he came here. Most of the time we caught up with him and stopped him." Richard sounded angry. Sarah put a gentle hand on his arm and sat forward.

"It was never going to go away. I used to go with him, when we were children, I'd follow him, and when we married, we needed to find somewhere to live. It's a nice place, and no one had passed here for years, that's obvious."

"No one would," Arthur said. He straightened up as all eyes turned on him and he raised his hands.

"I didn't mean that quite as it sounded. I meant it was kept safe, waiting for something." He turned and looked around. "How long have you been here?"

"Nearly a year, some others are coming, people from the town, they want to move out and they know we're here."

"So you won't be on your own," Arthur clarified. Sarah nodded, she was grasping Will's hand tightly. Arthur looked around.

"The timing is interesting," Gwaine mused as he met Arthur's gaze, confirming the prince's thoughts.

"What do you mean?" Richard asked.

"A year ago, things were in progress with everything else around us, why not this as well. Merlin will be the one to testify that something is working behind the scenes to make us put everything right. Why not this as well?" Gwaine asked the rest of them.

The three villagers frowned in confusion. The group from Camelot knew what Gwaine meant. Arthur felt something close to horror. That couldn't possibly mean that he lost Merlin to the re-growing Ealdor.

Arthur didn't even what to think about that.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

In the morning Will, Sarah and Richard took Merlin and the rest of them to the small cemetery they had built. There wasn't much of it. They just sometimes found bones, quite a few when they had been trying to set out the plots to grow food.

"People from the other villages came to help bury them," Richard explained. "I was one of them, I helped dig the graves out and we placed who we could find in them. It's grown a little, it may grow some more, as we move out, but there will be people to help bury them."

The small area had been cleared of trees, stones placed in what looked to be a random pattern but might not have been. Merlin plodded into the middle of it, which made Richard blink his eyes flashing with outrage for a moment but he watched as Merlin stepped carefully between the stones. No one else felt that inclined to walk within the crudely constructed cemetery. Arthur in the end gritted his teeth and followed, taking Merlin's path to make sure he didn't step on anything that could be considered sacred.

"Merlin?"

"I don't know where mother is," Merlin said. Arthur looked up for help but found none from the people. Even Cyan proved fruitless, the wolf hovered on the edge of the area, looking like he wanted to go to Merlin but somehow didn't want to, or didn't dare, or just couldn't. However, Arthur looked around further and spotted a bolder, far more confident, Thor. The bird hopped about at the far edge of the clearing. Then realising he had someone's attention he spread his wings and flew across to land on a stone. He stayed there for a moment, his beak digging into a clump of moss, then he looked up and flapped again flying over to another stone. He didn't stay there, instead he hopped to another and then went back to where he had originally landed. He pecked the stone again and then lifted his head to chatter loudly. Arthur pointed.

"There, Merlin, I think she's there."

Merlin hesitated and Arthur gently took Merlin's hand.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

Merlin nodded, and then hesitated again.

"I don't like it," Merlin said.

Arthur squeezed his hand. "Come on, you come with me."

He drew Merlin along quite firmly, walking him over and bringing him to the place that Thor had seemed to indicate. Merlin looked down at the little stone, he crouched down, but kept his hand firmly in Arthur's.

"It needs flowers. I want flowers," Merlin suddenly said. Arthur looked down at him and then looked around.

"We could find some Merlin, what do you like?"

"I don't know."

Merlin sounded tired, almost cranky. Arthur decided to have none of it.

"Don't behave like that. You want flowers for your mother's grave, then get up and help me. I'll look with you, but I will not have you sitting there being so… feeble."

It was perhaps not the best of words that Arthur could have thought of but it was what he suddenly had. He pulled Merlin up, leading him away, pointing at a cluster of flowers growing in the undergrowth.

"Those ones?"

"No," Merlin said. "I don't know."

"Shall we go and look?" Arthur asked, Merlin gave a tentative nod, so Arthur pulled him along in the right direction.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Arthur had never done anything like it in his life. He would have though it would be embarrassing, but with Merlin, these things never were. And certainly not now, as they gathered flowers to put on the grave. Arthur had kept hold of Merlin's hand as they had walked about looking for the right flowers. Balinor had tailed them, plucking a few flowers of his own, but he didn't intrude on Merlin, and Arthur as he dealt with him. Arthur found it quite strange, but Merlin seemed quite twitchy about his grief. He didn't want anyone intruding on it, he was trying to remember Hunith on his own, drawing up what he could from his mind. Arthur's involvement was the only one that was perfectly acceptable.

Maybe that was because he was someone who hadn't known her. He couldn't impose his own thoughts onto Merlin's. It could be more than that, since he couldn't impose any thoughts on it. He had never had any motherly influence, ever, having lost Igraine before he could ever know her. Arthur privately had to accept that Merlin perhaps knew more than he did, he didn't doubt what Nimueh had told him. Arthur couldn't dispute it. As Lancelot had pointed out, in the heat of the awful confrontation with his father, that Morgause, when she had conjured the image of his mother, could have made anything up. Arthur now couldn't guarantee that was what his mother really looked like. The only person he could ask was his father and that was something he had learnt never to do.

Gaius as well had picked a few flowers, a bunch of small white daises. Balinor's was a larger cluster of white and blue flowers. Merlin's was a large, muddled, eclectic mix of things he had found, while searching with Arthur. Looking at them Arthur debated the difference in each person's grief. Merlin carefully placed his flowers by the stone, crouching down and leaning on Arthur's legs, another thing he would have objected to, if it had been anyone else. Again with Merlin certain things, even if they were inappropriate, seemed very right. Arthur felt almost tempted to put a hand in Merlin's hair but stopped at the last moment. He didn't want to distract him.

"I don't like it."

"You don't like what, Merlin?" Balinor asked.

"Don't like graves, and thinking. It's not mother, mother was warm, and food, and tired and cuddles and… telling me off for making things float."

"Do you want to leave now, Merlin?" Arthur asked.

Merlin nodded his head.

"No, yes, I don't know."

Arthur felt himself tense, and Merlin looked up at him. Arthur's heart jumped. He did not want to lose Merlin. Merlin had to come back with him. Merlin didn't know where his home was. Someone had to make it for him, Arthur had to be that person.

"You can always stay with me, Merlin, would you like that?" Arthur asked.

"Yes," Merlin said, quite firmly.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

They stayed another day but Arthur knew he could stay no longer. His father was still there, but he was of no state of mind to have anything to do with the day to day workings of the kingdom. Morgana was still there and Arthur needed to deal with her. When he told Merlin that they would have to leave, or at least that he would. Merlin could stay if he wanted to. Merlin had nodded, looking very serious, and then he had looked around.

"It's not home anymore."

"No, but you don't think you have a home, do you?"

"I thought the cave was, that was a nice home but not now. It's not home anymore. Not going back there. I don't know."

"Do you want to come back with me, you can find a home in Camelot."

"They don't like me."

"It's not that Merlin. You're very likeable." Arthur had to smile as Merlin beamed at him. "But magic makes them nervous, I have to change that, so do you. And you'd promised to talk to Morgana for me."

"Yes, I will. Arthur?"

"What?"

"I like you, and I'll come with you, and help Morgana."

"Thank you."

"It would be nice to stay," Merlin said looking around. "But I've not been here, neither has my mother. I feel bad, if I leave."

"Merlin, you have nothing to feel bad for. At least you know, this place will became something nice, and I can make sure it's looked after. The knights can come and see that everything is okay. And you can come back and visit. Will would like that."

"Yes, it's just, I thought mother would be here, but she's not, she's here," Merlin pointed at his head. "And for father and Gaius, she's there to."

"So, you'll come back with me?" Arthur asked. He didn't like pressing the issue, when Merlin was feeling so sensitive, but he didn't want to lose him. Arthur wanted to keep Merlin as close to him as possible. Merlin smiled, looking happy.

"Yes," he said.


	31. P3 Chapter 8

They rode back as swiftly as they could, but dark was encroaching on them as they came to Camelot. Arthur could make out the spires of the citadel against the fading light. As they traversed the forest they paused as the group came across a small cottage. It looked a little battered and worn but the main structure seemed to be holding strong. There was even a little outhouse where they settled the horses and Merlin happily tidied up in the cottage to make it almost habitable.

"We can stay here tonight, and we can be back at Camelot early morning, if we leave as soon as it's light," Arthur said. He felt better, now he was close to Camelot, but he did want to get back. It hadn't been a long trip but he was wary of being gone for too long, with his father currently unwell and Morgana still to deal with. But a weight had lifted off Arthur thanks to Merlin's promise to talk to her. If anyone could get through to her then Merlin surely could, he had to understand, even if he didn't agree with her.

They cooked a light meal. Arthur had shot down two pheasants, and Merlin put together the rest of their supplies and assisted Balinor in cooking. Arthur couldn't deny just how nice their cooking was, and he liked the way Balinor and Merlin worked together, talking and joking. Arthur felt a little jealous as he watched it. His father had always been so serious with him, and now it was as if Uther wasn't there at all. There had only been odd, brief moments, when he had seen just how much Uther cared about him. If it wasn't for those Arthur might have been of the opinion that his father didn't care at all.

On settling down for the night the group easily drifted off to sleep, so many things settled by the journey, and comforted by the fact they were so close to home.

It was late when Balinor roused, unsure what, if anything in particular, had awoken him. However, the first thing he noticed was Merlin's absence. The blankets of his bedroll had been pushed back, and Cyan also appeared to be gone. At least that meant the wolf had followed Merlin, and would no doubt keep him safe. If there was any danger, the beast would alert them. The rest of them continued to sleep as Balinor got up and headed out of the cottage into the night air.

For the time of year the weather had remained fairly mild, so the air was almost pleasant as Balinor relaxed, realising Merlin hadn't gone far. He sat on the step of the little porch at the front of the cottage, Cyan sat next to him, and Merlin had wrapped his arms around the big wolf, resting his head down on Cyan's furry shoulder.

The big wolf turned his head as he heard Balinor step out, and his tail thumped against the ground, sending up small clouds of dust into the air. Merlin turned his head and smiled as Balinor sat down next to him. Merlin released Cyan and leant the other way wrapping his arms around Balinor's torso and propping his head on his father's shoulder. Cyan shifted, lying down and resting his head on Merlin's leg.

"Are you all right son?"

"Yes, father," Merlin answered, his voice filled with drowsy contentment. "It's nice here."

"It's certainly peaceful."

"And you can see the castle from here," Merlin said pointing, the turrets in view over the trees. Several lights glowed in the windows. Balinor looked at them, and the shape of the turrets in the moonlight. If anyone had ever told him he would live, in contentment, in Camelot, Balinor would have laughed in their face. But they were both safe, Arthur wouldn't allow anything to happen to either of them.

"Yes," Balinor agreed, a little unsure where Merlin's thought processes were going.

"I don't really like it, all the people stare, and it's busy and noisy."

"I suppose so, but people will get used to us. And you want to stay with Arthur don't you?"

"And Gwaine, and Lancelot, and Gaius and Gwen."

Balinor chuckled, his arm tightening around Merlin's shoulders. Merlin snuggled tighter to him.

"But I like it with just you as well. And we're near."

Merlin didn't say anything else, but Balinor started to get the hint. "You want to stay here, at this cottage."

"It's nice," Merlin said. "And peaceful, but we can still go and see Arthur, and he can come and see us."

"Yes. I don't mind the peace and quiet Merlin, in fact I'm used to that. Are you sure?"

"We're not going to go home, to the cave, and the village isn't home. That's Will's home now, not mine, not without Mother."

"No, definitely not," Balinor said. "I don't think I could stay there, thinking about your mother."

"Don't you think about her?" Merlin asked in concern.

"Of course I do son, every time I look at you I think of her, but that's not the same as staying in the place where she died, is it?"

Merlin remained quiet for a moment before his head moved on Balinor's shoulder.

"No. This is our new home, isn't it, in Camelot."

"I think so."

"It's almost like the cave, with the woods and space, and the horses can run around," Merlin said. "I like it, and we can go and see Arthur."

"As much as you like Merlin."

Merlin gave a happy little huff, the sound he always made when he was content. Balinor felt a little better over Merlin's sudden decision. After so many years he was not a man who felt comfortable in crowds. The stares and curiosity would no doubt die down, but it was hard to live with. They had a licence to live safely because Arthur had offered them his protection, but so many others had died. Balinor had seen some of the resentment in people's faces. He thought Merlin had not registered it, but now he wasn't so sure. That situation would not sit easily on Merlin, who still remained a little fearful. After enough time with Balinor Merlin had recovered, growing and maturing, but the years of abuse still lived in his memory, and it would always affect him.

His son; Merlin. The thought always filled Balinor with such awe. He had created him, given him life, as Hunith had done. Balinor looked out into the darkness, feeling one small shiver. Something in the fabric of the world had sought to destroy that, to ruin what Merlin was destined to become. That power had taken Hunith from Merlin, twisting the world around itself so subtly that no one could see it.

Yet, that force had been unable to stop Merlin's destiny. He had survived, and broken and bruised Merlin escaped the fate that power had tried to deliver. So many other things had been twisted, a sorceress that had confessed she should have hated him had given her life to help Merlin. A feared and hated king had somehow changed, again giving his life to aid Merlin's cause. Balinor himself could do nothing else but devote his life to his son, and his care. He had been given something so precious in Merlin. Balinor couldn't hold onto his anger anymore. He couldn't even hate Uther Pendragon.

The king of Camelot had destroyed every belief that shaped Balinor's world. And slowly, very slowly, Merlin had worked to recreate that, using Arthur, Cenred, Gwaine and almost everyone else he came in contact with.

All that whirled around his mind. But it could be put simply enough. Balinor had a son, and he would do anything for Merlin. That was the only place his faith and values needed to lie.

Balinor turned and kissed the top of Merlin's head. Merlin had relaxed against him, giving a light snore as he breathed in. Cyan gave a whine, looked up at Balinor with resigned eyes.

"Not to worry," Balinor told the wolf. "It will be morning soon."

Cyan huffed, shifted so he could snuggle closer to Merlin. His tail thudded against the floor again and Merlin gave another hiccupping snore. Balinor smiled, keeping his arms around Merlin, holding him gently, letting his son sleep, while he waited for the sun to rise.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Come on you two, don't worry about tidying up, you need to mount up, we can be back by mid morning," Arthur said brightly, having located Merlin and Balinor still flitting around the cottage. Balinor straightened up.

"Arthur."

He watched Arthur's face drop, as he looked from Balinor to Merlin, realising that something was about to be said. He didn't say anything further. He just waited. Merlin had paused rummaging around in a feeble looking cupboard, sending clouds of dust into the air. His eyes fixed on Balinor, as he waited for his father to tell Arthur.

"We're not coming back to Camelot. I know it's safe enough but, we're not very comfortable with such crowds. And its not easy for the people, I think they need some more time to adjust."

Arthur blinked, his face almost a mask, hiding what he was feeling, but his eyes, shocked and hurt, gave him away.

"I understand that," he said, sounding like he really didn't. "Where are you going to go?"

Arthur started to presume that they were planning to return to the cave, but Merlin frowned in confusion and said.

"Nowhere. We're staying here."

Arthur blinked, his eyes roved around the cottage.

"Here, in the cottage?"

"Yes, it's not that far from Camelot, but far enough that we won't be bothered by too many people," Balinor said. Arthur nodded, slowly, still not looking entirely happy about the decision. As he glanced towards Merlin Arthur looked almost needy. Merlin bit down on his lip, then he smiled.

"We'll visit!"

Arthur smiled back. "It's close to one of the patrol routes, I can make sure they divert this way just to make sure that you're all right."

Balinor nodded. "Thank you, we'll be fine, we've been self-sufficient for years. It will be nice to get back to that, for a while at least. It might change, Arthur, but we're happier here for now. We just need you to accept that."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Arthur did, somewhat reluctantly. But he elicited the promise that Merlin would sometime, within the next few days, to talk to Morgana and Arthur looked into the arrangement of the patrols and then came to another decision.

Balinor and Merlin had spent the day tidying and rummaging around the house, then they had gone out to locate good areas to set up snares and had come back with a few rabbits, a pheasant to go with the one that Arthur had left and some eggs. It felt almost bountiful. Merlin looked happy, having the best of both worlds. He wanted to be with Balinor and the animals, and be free, but Arthur lay close by.

They settled to cook, Merlin happily enamoured with the stone hearth that had resisted all attempts at decay, the fire glowing as the light outside dimmed. During that there came the sound of hoof beats. The large gelding whinnied and Cyan, lying in the doorway of the cottage lifted his head. He also informed the two inhabitants of the cottage that there was no danger as his tail thumped against the floor. Cyan rose to his feet and trotted outside.

"Hello, there!" a bright, recognisable voice announced. Merlin hurried to the door, smiling as he saw Gwaine rubbing at Cyan's ears, totally unafraid of the wolf. He had been the first person to ever be introduced to the big wolf, and he was met with affection every time.

"Hey, Merlin!"

"Gwaine!"

"I thought you might like some moving in presents… well… just food this time. But I wanted to come out and make sure you were all right."

He pulled the saddle bags clear of his horse and held them up. They looked stuffed to bursting. Cyan bounced in front of Gwaine, wagging his tail. Gwaine petted the wolf again and neatly evaded the beast bringing the saddle packs over to Merlin, who on taking them hurried indoors to examine the contents.

"I didn't think we'd see anyone so soon," Balinor said.

Gwaine shrugged. "I'm not that good with the crowds either, really. It gives me a taste of still travelling without really going anywhere. And I wanted to see how you two were doing."

"Since this morning?" Balinor asked with a smile, he went over to check the meat that they had been roasting in the fire. "There is plenty of food."

"I've got some things to add," Gwaine said.

The hint lay there. Balinor could see it. Gwaine was a free spirit, he didn't want to be tied down, but he had stayed as a knight of Camelot. In the end though, that decision was quite clearly for Merlin. Which was why Gwaine was the perfect knight for Arthur to send. He could shed his role, and just become the friend that Merlin, and Balinor, really saw. Arthur didn't want to spy on them, he just wanted them safe. Gwaine wasn't even making his presence subtle. But he had come very willingly.

"Thank you," Balinor said. "We've managed to forage quite a bit, we can save your contribution until morning. Then we have thatching to find."

"Oh cripes!" Gwaine looked shocked at the prospect of real work. "Let me just untack and tether the horse."

"Don't need to. She won't wander," Merlin said. Gwaine frowned and looked at Merlin's two horses, they were grazing without any containment, because they wouldn't leave Merlin.

"I don't think she's quite like your two."

"He won't let her wander," Merlin repeated glancing over at the large gelding. Gwaine shrugged, untacking his horse and planning to tether her, despite what Merlin said, until he looked up and realised the large black horse had moved closer, standing and watching what Gwaine did. Gwaine tried to ignore the animal, who appeared to be staring at him intently. The beast's eyes were hard to read in the dark face. Gwaine turned away, murmuring under his breath.

"You're creepier than your previous owner."

He tensed as the horse stepped forward dropping his head so his nose was inches from Gwaine's, at which point the horse flared his nostrils and gave a heavy snort. Gwaine leant back staring at the animal's long nose. The beast snorted again before lifting his head and continuing to regard Gwaine steadily.

"Okay," Gwaine drawled, deciding to leave the mare to her own devices. As he went indoors Merlin looked up and smiled at him and Gwaine's stomach rumbled as the smell of cooking meat reached him. He didn't look back, but he had the feeling that Merlin's horse still stared at him.

It was a feeling that remained with Gwaine throughout the evening, and into the night as they settled down to sleep. Balinor and Merlin drew their blankets together, so Merlin could snuggle close to his father, and Cyan sprawled out on Merlin's other side, giving low huffing breaths as he slept.

Gwaine couldn't quite sleep. He dozed off, but so lightly it didn't feel like he had completely stopped his mind from working. Gwaine didn't exactly think but instead he let the thoughts wash through his mind. The horse's reaction had unsettled him, it had been as if the huge beast had understood him, and not taken what he had said entirely well.

He thought about the animals that Merlin had gathered to him, over the course of his life. Since he had escaped Jarl's clutches and had been slowly put back on the course of his destiny. There had been Thor, the watchful bird. It never really interfered but always kept a close eye on proceedings. Then there had been Cyan, loyal and protective of his master. And now there was the horse, willing to take Merlin anywhere, and if the reaction earlier had been anything to go by, more conscious than Gwaine would have expected of any horse. He couldn't be surprised by that. Cyan and Thor, quite clearly, were not just normal animals. Gwaine's surreptitious observations of all of them, made him think that Merlin's other horse, the mare, did not seem to be entirely the same. So for the moment he dismissed her from his equations.

Thoughts swirled for a while, Merlin had lost, in his life, three people that he had cared about. His mother, Nimueh and Cenred. Could he really equate them to three animals? In reality, only Hunith had been absent when the creatures had appeared. But the personalities, the nature of the animals themselves, pointed to the people that perhaps they could represent. Thor and Nimueh were easy to connect. The sorceress had watched over Merlin, from a distance, even from the dead. Gwaine knew enough to know that birds were often used by sorcerers to communicate, and carry messages. Usually ravens were the birds appointed to the task but a crow couldn't be considered that far out. After the odd altercation today linked to the horse, Gwaine could only think of Cenred. He had owned it originally, passing it on to Merlin. Not that he could have known what might happen.

And that, left Cyan, a wolf, the one who remained by Merlin's side, as much as it was possible. His colouring alone gave away his preordained destiny. Cyan had saved Balinor's life, and protected the people close to Merlin. In the wolf's eyes Merlin, and Balinor, were part of his family.

Gwaine turned onto his side and looked at the wolf, which was the same moment that Cyan shifted, stretching out his paws and lifting his head, turning to rest his muzzle on his legs. In the remaining glow from the dying fire Gwaine saw the wolf's eyes turn to him, blinking once as they regarded him steadily. For a moment Gwaine felt entirely certain that Cyan knew the thoughts going on in his head.

It did occur to him that the three animals were all male. Or at least they assumed the large black bird was male. It was obvious on the two mammals. No one had ever considered Thor to be otherwise. And did that, Gwaine added to himself, even matter in the grand scheme of things. It was the animal's qualities that mattered, that connected to the people that Gwaine now couldn't help equating them with.

Gwaine's mind rolled to the mare, Cenred's other horse. Was there someone missing, someone connected to Merlin, that they might not even know about. Gwaine rolled onto his back and looked up at the rough ceiling above him, that Balinor and Merlin planned to start fixing up tomorrow.

"This is the problem when you don't go to the tavern enough, Gwaine," the knight told himself. "You start thinking."

Gwaine heard Cyan huff and the wolf rolled again, putting his head into Merlin's side, so Merlin rolled, one hand unconsciously moving into the thick black fur. Gwaine watched and then looked back up at the ceiling, deciding that, whether he was right nor not, it was an observation best kept to himself.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Nor did Gwaine feel surprised when a hunting party, led by the Prince of Camelot, happened to come past the small cottage early afternoon two days later. Arthur had brought down a deer, and decided it would be a nice gesture to give the new residents at least some of the meat. They were only a small group, consisting of Leon, Lancelot, Elyan, Percival and Arthur.

They arrived to find the horses grazing, Cyan running up and down as Merlin threw sticks, Thor basking in the sunshine, Gwaine and Balinor up on the roof and Merlin on the floor tying the bundles to make the thatching. It looked to Arthur like a nice, quiet, domestic sight, reminding Arthur of the first time he had come across Merlin, studiously working to create baskets, and refusing to be distracted by the wolf. Merlin certainly seemed happy enough as he looked up at the group as they rode in.

"Hello!"

"Hello, Merlin," Arthur said dismounting and tethering the horse. Cyan bounded over to him, holding a branch in his mouth, which he presented to Arthur, wagging his tail, tongue lolling out of his mouth. Arthur obligingly took the branch from Cyan and flung it across the cleaning, sending it into the nearby trees. The wolf went bounding off. Thor looked unimpressed and started to clean under his wing. Arthur hefted the deer off the back of his horse.

"I brought dinner."

"Oh well done!" Gwaine said. "This is hard work."

"The first you've probably ever seen," Leon announced, loud enough for Gwaine to hear. Gwaine lobbed a loose twig at him.

"Do you two need some help up there?" Elyan asked.

"Yes, since one of our team ended up grounded," Gwaine announced.

"I fell off!" Merlin informed everyone brightly, holding up his arm to display the bruises he had received.

"Are you all right?" Arthur asked in concern, taking Merlin's wrist to examine the damage properly. Gwaine's head appeared over the edge of the roof.

"Fortunately, due to certain talents, he bounces."

"That's good to know. Be careful Merlin," Arthur admonished him. "I don't want you getting hurt."

"I won't," Merlin said.

Merlin beamed up at Arthur. Cyan came running back through the trees carrying the branch. As he reached the cottage again his pace slowed and he dropped the branch, in favour of attempting to investigate the carcass that Arthur had carefully put down on the porch. Thor hopped down, close to Merlin, waddling close.

"No!" Merlin told the crow sternly as he tried to peck the corpse.

"Merlin, you had better deal with that," Balinor ordered.

"Yes, father," Merlin said, getting up to find what he needed from inside the cottage. He came ambling back a moment later, pulling the corpse from the cottage porch out onto the grass, towards the small, makeshift hut they had built to house their provisions. Percival stepped forward to help him, lifting the carcass with a minimum of effort. Lancelot watched carefully, he had been forced to have more than a few stern words with the new knight of Camelot. It was one reason that Lancelot had felt that some distance between Merlin and Camelot was a good idea. He didn't think Percival would dare try anything now. Arthur would kill him on the spot if he hurt Merlin. Lancelot glanced upwards, towards Gwaine, who he had also made aware of the situation. Gwaine had noticed Percival's gesture but was not entirely focused on Percival with Merlin. Instead, part of his attention appeared to be on the black horse grazing a short distance away. The horse had paused eating and instead eyed the scene. Lancelot glanced around, it didn't look too out of place and the horse slowly dropped his head again, cropping a few more mouthfuls of grass before looking up again, chewing as he watched Merlin. Lancelot glanced back up at Gwaine, who met his eyes with an odd expression on his face. As Lancelot raised his eyebrows Gwaine shook his head and disappeared further up the roof.

"I'll carry on bundling up," Lancelot said picking a spot so he could keep an eye on Merlin.

"If we're staying I'll just see to the horses," Leon said.

"I'll help you," Elyan said to Lancelot.

Lancelot glanced sideways, to look at Merlin and Percival. Between them they had opened the carcass and had started to pull out the innards. Merlin pulled aside certain parts, taking off little bits to feed to the lingering animals. Percival watched him carefully and Lancelot watched as Merlin glanced up, saying something to Percival and holding out a skinning knife.

Merlin smiled, his face filled with trust. Percival, in his mind, could be trusted. Merlin knew nothing of Percival's feelings towards Cenred, and how he could hurt him. Or so Lancelot thought. Until Merlin's eyes rolled sideways, just a little, to glance in his direction. It was so slight and Lancelot staring hard could be the only person to notice it. Percival, even closer to Merlin than Lancelot was, didn't see it, because for a moment the knife distracted him. Then Percival glanced back at Merlin, who smiled that innocent, trusting smile that had made so many implausible people relent. Merlin could make people love him, it was hard not to give into that look and smile, to the point that Lancelot wondered if Merlin had, in himself, realised his strength and now knowledgeably played to it.

Whatever the case, Percival smiled back, the darkness brooding in his eyes fading away and he took the knife. Merlin said something and Percival nodded, replying to him.

"Come on then Princess, get up here!" Gwaine shouted.

Arthur, the only one standing there doing nothing, looked up apprehensively.

"I'm not entirely certain I'll be any help. And in fairness, I caught the food."

"So, you can always help Merlin with dinner if you don't want to help with the thatching!" Balinor announced. Arthur looked around, grimacing as he looked at the two men stripping the carcass and Lancelot and Elyan grinning as they wrapped up bundles.

"I'll thatch," Arthur announced practically running to the ladder leading up the side of the house.


	32. P3 Chapter 9

**Yey! Finally have my end plan for this story, I don't really want to run it for more than two or three further chapters, but I've worked out what I am doing with them. I'm sort of forward planning with this chapter.**

Morgana looked out of the window of her chambers. A view she was more than familiar with, having seen nothing but that view for a little over two weeks. She could walk around the castle, there had been no restraint put upon her if she stayed within the castle. But when she left her rooms the two guards followed her, watching her closely. She could almost cope with that but then there were the people, who stared, who walked away, they were nervous and frightened of her. It satisfied her, but she felt a lingering trace of doubt and nerves that made her back away. So she stayed in her rooms, with only Gwen for company, when she attended. No other servants would talk to her, the knights were respectful but only spoke when they had to.

Now she watched as Merlin and Balinor rode into the courtyard, and her jaw tensed, anger taking dominance as an emotion. Cyan ran at the horse's heels and Morgana leant back as the crow swooped down to land on the battlements. Reaching up she slammed the window shut and got up from the window seat.

In the middle of the room she hesitated. There was nowhere to go, and she didn't want to sit down again, with the threat of Thor staring at her. However, in the end she turned back and went to the window, but looking out she saw that Merlin and Thor had both gone.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

She didn't even turn her head as she heard the knock at the door.

"Come in!" she called, presuming it was Gwen, or one of the guards outside. They were the only people who ever came to see her. However, she turned her head as the door creaked open tentatively and a dark head peered round. Morgana straightened her back, tensing slightly as Merlin shuffled into the room, making space for Balinor to follow and the Dragonlord closed the door behind him.

"Hello," Merlin said brightly but with a trace of apprehension as Morgana glared at him. Balinor put his hand on Merlin's back and gently eased him into the room. Merlin went with the gentle push.

"What do you want?" Morgana snapped, a little rudely but she felt taken by surprise by the interruption. Merlin looked mildly baffled.

"Arthur asked me to talk to you," he explained.

"What about?" Morgana asked.

Merlin looked even more confused, as if that was something he had not even considered. Arthur had asked him to talk to her and Merlin hadn't really thought about the reasons for it. Merlin had said yes, because Arthur had asked. He looked at Balinor in confusion, and Balinor waited to see if Merlin could work it out. After a moment's pause Merlin turned back to Morgana.

"About magic, and things."

Merlin looked back to Balinor for confirmation. Balinor nodded.

"Yes, Merlin. Go on," Balinor added, pushing Merlin a little further into the room and encouraging him to sit down at the large table in the centre. Morgana stayed standing, glaring at them both, chin raised defiantly. Cyan sat by Merlin, practically on his feet and rested his chin on Merlin's thigh. He didn't pay much attention to Morgana, which for some reason irked her. The wolf made friendly overtures to most people and those the animal didn't feel sure of he regarded steadily with his piercing blue eyes. Now the wolf didn't appear to have any feelings towards her. Glancing up she realised Balinor noting the same thing. Merlin didn't, he just rubbed Cyan's ears, oblivious to the observations of the other two people in the room.

"Don't you want to talk about magic?" Merlin asked. "I did with Nimueh, and she taught me things."

"I used to talk to my sister," Morgana snapped back. Merlin's brow furrowed as he stared at her. Then he announced, with a sudden clarity that took Balinor by surprise,

"But why do you think magic is evil?"

Morgana blinked. The question appeared to surprise her too.

"I don't, others do."

"But why do you?" Merlin repeated, as he always did, if the answers he got were not clear enough. If he didn't like the answers he'd delve further, but he'd make quite certain of his subject matter before he did. Balinor knew he had somehow given Merlin that trait, when he had wanted Merlin to talk, and answer him, in those first few tentative weeks when they had first met, and they had realised who they were to each other. Merlin's natural curiosity, just as subdued as his magic had been during his years of abuse, had blossomed from those conversations. It had matured him, but in his childlike way, he expected everyone to be as open with him as Balinor had been, as Gwaine had been and as Cenred had eventually been. Arthur did the same thing, but in a way Merlin and Arthur were still getting to know each other.

Morgana glared at Merlin. Cyan turned his head and stared at her before moving his head back to encourage Merlin to rub his ears. Merlin obliged, his movement's unconscious as he kept his attention on Morgana.

"I don't," Morgana said.

Merlin nodded. "That's what Morgause made you think. Because you had magic you had to do bad things, and you hurt people. You hurt father."

That sounded more important than anything to Merlin. Morgana tensed, her mind flickering to Uther, then she realised it was not Uther Merlin referred to. He turned to glance at Balinor, which drew Morgana's gaze to the Dragonlord. Balinor pulled out the chair on Merlin's left and sat down next to his son. Morgana still didn't move. She didn't seem to want to eject them from her room but by the same account by staying standing, refusing to join them, she gave off an air of still not wanting to belong.

"I'm fine now Merlin."

"But people got hurt, Cenred got hurt."

"Uther hurt others, I had to stop him," Morgana said.

"But you didn't," Merlin said. "You did cruel things too, like he did."

Morgana took a step back, the anger in her face increasing.

"Cenred stopped you hurting people," Merlin said.

"He saved you Merlin. That was his choice," Balinor said, before he looked up at Morgana.

"It was Morgauses' decision to walk into the fight, just as it was Cenred's to do what he did. Merlin made no choices in that. Neither did you."

Morgana glared at Balinor.

"Cenred did that for me," Merlin said.

"Yes, he did Merlin," Balinor said gently. Merlin blinked and looked up at Morgana.

"Cenred knew. He gave himself up for me, so I could have father," Merlin said carefully. "Cenred did that."

"He took away the only person I had!" Morgana snapped. Merlin frowned.

"What about Arthur? You have Arthur," Merlin said. He looked down at the tabletop and rubbed the surface with one fingertip, frowning as he stared at what he was doing intently. After a moment's intense pause Merlin, said, in a very subdued fashion. "And you had Uther."

"He'd have killed me if he knew," Morgana snapped. Balinor looked up at her.

"Are you sure of that?"

Merlin stopped what he was doing, lifting his head to look at his father.

"When you came to talk to me in the dungeons, you called him a hypocrite."

"He is."

"Yet, you refuse to see the same in yourself," Balinor said. "And like him you refuse to truly see those around you. You act as if no one here ever cared about you."

"There is nothing for me in Camelot now," Morgana said.

"There's Arthur, and Gwen, and Gaius and …" Merlin paused, looking at her warily. "me," he eventually concluded.

Morgana snorted, the corners of her mouth lifting in a humourless smirk.

"You?" she snarled. "Do you think this will last? And that Arthur cares about you?"

Merlin pouted as he stared at her. "Yes, he does."

Morgana gave a sharp laugh, it made Merlin flinch. Balinor reached out to still Merlin's twitching hand.

"You can choose to believe that. But Uther loathes you, he'll want you dead and Arthur will do it, and there will be nothing anyone can do about that!"

Balinor tensed, glancing at Merlin. His immediate reaction was to pull Merlin up and drag him from the room. Balinor didn't want Merlin hearing such malicious words, he didn't want to hear them himself. The situation would be just as difficult for Arthur as it was for Merlin. He had an uphill struggle to change the events of the last twenty years, to remove the fear that any association with magic had caused. Still, Arthur had taken the first few steps and Balinor knew that the prince would not allow any harm to come to Merlin.

"That's not true!" Merlin snapped his voice wobbling, the tension in his tone increasing.

"Are you all right Merlin?" Balinor asked.

"Yes," Merlin said, sounding a little angry as he turned his attention to Morgana. "Arthur wants to help! Why don't you understand that? You're just angry and you don't understand! Why don't you understand?"

Balinor watched the flickering emotions on the faces of both of them. They stared at each other, something occurring between them. Balinor felt that ripple in the air, one he knew had something to do with Merlin's destiny, and Morgana clearly was a part of that. However, he didn't think it was going to be easy, and Merlin's sudden flare of emotion unnerved him a little.

"Merlin, come on, it's time to go," he announced interrupting the moment. Balinor didn't miss the expression of mild regret on Morgana's face as they left her.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

Balinor had never seen Merlin so angry. He had never actually seen his son angry. The last time had to have been when he had accidentally killed Nimueh, and Balinor knew he was not meant to be there for that, because Merlin had to do what was required. Even that had needed Morgause.

Now he didn't know what to do with his son as the walked down the corridor, Merlin still clearly fuming.

"She's not a bad lady but… wants to be bad. No one wants that, do they?"

"It's not that easy Merlin."

"Why would people want that?" Merlin snapped. Balinor stepped forward, taking Merlin's shoulders, holding him firmly. Merlin pouted, looking less angry now, but slightly petulant, like the child he sometimes was.

"They don't always want that. But you were right, Uther has given her a perception of magic. She's had no one to help her, except Morgause, who has made that perception worse. You had people to help you."

"You," Merlin said. "And Nimueh."

Balinor nodded. "And because of what we showed you, you know you're not bad, and magic isn't evil." He reached up to brush his fingers through Merlin's hair. "And in the same way, you've shown Arthur the same thing. He knows magic isn't evil, because of you. Which will make it better for people in Camelot."

Merlin beamed and nodded, smiling even wider as he turned at the sound of a door opening and Arthur walked out of the council chamber, still surrounded by the council. He looked to be in deep conversation but Merlin didn't worry.

"Arthur!" he yelled happily. Arthur stopped talking and smiled as he looked up. Merlin beamed and waved. Balinor let him go and Merlin bounded over to Arthur, having no idea, or caring about, protocol when it came to Arthur. He might have been the Prince Regent to everyone around him, but Merlin didn't see it like that. Despite the lessons he had been given he just perceived the people around him in his own way. Arthur in that respect was his friend.

"Hello Merlin," Arthur said aware of the councillors watching the scene warily. Cyan bounded along, staying close to Merlin as he sensed the nerves of the group. Even Merlin at the last moment seemed to sense that hugging Arthur was not something he should do and he paused as few paces away.

"When did you get here?" Arthur asked, sending a glare at Leon, who hadn't told him.

"A while ago, I went to see Morgana. She's angry."

"I know Merlin," Arthur said, taking Merlin's arm and steering him away from the council.

"But that doesn't mean bad, she thinks funny."

"In what way?" Arthur asked, aware of the council following them.

"She thinks she has to be bad, because she has magic. People have made her think that."

Arthur turned and glowered at the council as he heard a few comments. Merlin looked hurt as the men whispered between them. Arthur's jaw tensed.

"Leon, why don't you take Merlin down to the training field, I'll be there in a minute, Gwaine and Lancelot should already be down there. Okay Merlin."

Merlin frowned, looking cross and confused. Balinor gently touched his arm.

"You go and see them, Arthur and I will catch up."

Still frowning Merlin did as he was told, letting Leon take his arm to guide him away. Balinor knew the only reason Merlin had done so was because he had told him to, and Merlin never disobeyed him. Arthur glanced at Balinor, who gave the council a level glare.

"If you're going to talk about my son, then I'm going to listen."

The members of the council shifted uncomfortably.

"I don't want to sound inappropriate," Geoffrey eventually broke the silence. "But should he be allowed to talk to Morgana, particularly about such a subject."

"I requested that he did so," Arthur informed them. "If anyone can help Morgana, I believe Merlin can."

"Are you sure?" another of them asked. "Letting two sorcerers talk, it's bad enough having them in Camelot…"

He tailed off as Balinor's eyes hardened, glaring at him.

"Do not talk about my son like that. If nothing else Merlin holds less malice than everyone else in this kingdom. He has no desire to hurt, or cause anyone any pain, and he cares about Arthur, so you have no reason to fear him. I do not think Merlin's influence will corrupt, it will instead change Arthur for the better. Merlin can change some of the most cynical and angry people into those that would care and trust. I don't think he really wanted to try with Morgause," Balinor added to Arthur.

Arthur smiled. "I guess not. I suppose this is not going to be easy."

"You're making a start," Balinor said. "But I warn you now, Merlin won't let you give up that easily. And I think I need to ask a favour."

"Anything," Arthur said.

"I need the patrol to stay away, and anyone that sees him is not to panic."

"See who?" Arthur asked.

"I need to call Kilgharrah. Things have fallen into place, and if anyone can give answers, then it is he. For Merlin's sake, I need to speak to him."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Arthur invited himself along, just to make sure there were no issues and somehow Morgana caught herself up in it. She stayed flanked by knights but Balinor had turned to see her arrive looking almost assured by her presence. The Dragonlord was tailed by Merlin as he moved into the open space and called out. It sent a tingle up Arthur's spine as Balinor's voice roared out, sending a shiver through the forest.

The wind stirred around them as the dragon passed overhead and Arthur saw the huge beast circle. He could not be angry with the tension rippling through the troops. The dragon had caused horror, and come close to toppling the kingdom. Yet he landed so carefully, dropping his head to Balinor in a submissive gesture. Arthur understood why his father might fear those that did magic, that could control such forces. But Arthur himself felt no fear, now he knew Balinor, now he knew Merlin, who would hurt and harm no one.

Kilgharrah shook the ground underneath him as he landed heavily and his head lowered to Balinor.

"Dragonlord?"

"Kilgharrah. Feel no tension, I would not allow them to hurt you."

"That is not what occurred the last time I landed within range of Camelot's knights."

"Arthur commands them this time, and you know that is different."

Kilgharrah lifted his head and again Arthur felt the shiver down his back.

"Yes, sooner than planned but fate and destiny are catching up."

"You can tell me more now, can you? Kilgharrah." Balinor paused on the name, slowing his speech as he spoke. It caused a soft ripple. Arthur felt it, something gentle and calming and Balinor raised his hand and Kilgharrah met it.

"You truly feel no anger Dragonlord."

"I feel better for such a thing. My child has eased many pains. As he is so destined I presume."

Kilgharrah huffed. "Only if the Once and Future King is willing to listen."

"I know the stories the Druids told," Balinor said. "That is Arthur."

Arthur tensed, especially as Kilgharrah lifted his head and looked directly at him.

"The Once and Future King will unite Albion and allow the balance of power to come to the land. First he must allow the balance. He tries hard to do so, but that is not his choice. Even that destiny hung in the balance. The only pathway that remained clear was the little warlock's."

"What do you mean?" Balinor asked.

"Arthur and Merlin. They are two sides of the same coin, joined together, even though they perhaps never knew so. However, there came another who almost stepped into Arthur's place, taking his path of destiny alongside Merlin."

Balinor frowned, but it was Arthur who came up with the answer.

"You mean Cenred. Cenred could have become this Once And Future king,"

"Yes, if needed to. But the pieces have now moved into place. Merlin is surrounded by what he needs to allow the destiny to happen. What happens now will be of importance, and nothing about it will be easy. Even the hatred to equal his love has been found."

Morgana recoiled, glaring as everyone's eyes turned on her. She stared back before letting her gaze drift back to the dragon.

"So there is nothing else for me?"

"Do you believe these things are so simple?" Kilgharrah asked. "It is true you are Merlin's equal, and opposite, the darkness to his light, and hatred to his love but you need not allow yourself to be consumed by such a thing. The little warlock will need to make some hard decisions as time passes, the responsibility to guide the Once And Future King is his alone."

It became Merlin's turn to be stared at.

"I help Arthur," Merlin said happily.

"Yes, little warlock, but there will be times when you are tested. Things will not always be easy, but there is clear hope for the future. If you and Arthur remain together, then the fate of Albion is all but assured."

Kilgharrah sat back, the air stirring as his wings moved and he lifted himself into the air. Arthur glanced at Balinor, wondering if the Dragonlord would call him back but what had been said seemed to reassure him, as he let Kilgharrah fly off. They watched the dragon fly away and then Gwaine, never one to leave a silence hanging, said.

"You know, I think that's one of the clearest conversations a creature of magic has ever had."


	33. P3 Chapter 10

"Where is he?" Arthur snapped irritably as he waited for George to finish fastening his cloak. On the other side of the room another servant helped Lancelot dress, both of them feeling a little uncomfortable in their finery. The bells rang gently, announcing the occasion. Arthur looked around, gaze drifting out of the window again before moving back to the set of clothes laid out on the bed.

"Calm down, anyone would think it was you getting married," Lancelot snapped at him while he nervously fiddled with his cuffs. "You didn't have to do this. I mean it's a bit grand just for me and Gwen."

"What?" Arthur snapped. "Of course I did. If nothing else this kingdom has been living under a shadow for the last two months. A good celebration is just what we need! And you are a knight of this realm who has helped to protect it on more than one occasion. You deserve this, and so does Guinevere!"

Arthur ranted and fiddled with his cloak, causing George to frown in irritation as he fussed around Arthur.

"Merlin promised he'd be here," Arthur said. "I had the clothes made especially for him."

"I know. I don't think you need to keep fussing about him, he's not going anywhere. More than likely he's gone to see Morgana first."

Arthur glanced over at Lancelot, who did look paler than usual, his face flickering with nerves as he contemplated the events that would occur later on that morning.

"Are you surprised that Gwen asked her?" Arthur asked. "You know, to be Maid of Honour?"

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Merlin! I never knew you cared!" Gwaine roared loudly, reaching out to Merlin. Walking in Gwaine's wake, Percival smiled as Merlin turned away, hiding the bouquet of wild flowers from him.

"They're not for you!" Merlin said scowling. Gwaine pouted.

"Not even one, I haven't seen you for days!"

"Two," Merlin snapped as he conceded and plucking a strand of white heather from the flowers handed it to Gwaine.

"Thank you," Gwaine said tucking it carefully into the clasp on his left shoulder, looking very proud of his acquisition. Seeing that Merlin extracted another sliver of heather and handed it to Percival. The big knight bowed his head.

"Thank you, Merlin."

"I'm going to see Morgana," Merlin announced keeping the rest of his flowers close to his chest.

"Go on then, although Arthur and Lancelot are waiting for you," Gwaine warned.

"I'll tell them Merlin's here," Percival said. "There's plenty of time, the ceremony isn't until noon. The servants are still dressing the hall."

"Merlin, I'm going to go and find Gaius, will you be all right with Gwaine?" Balinor asked.

"Yes, father," Merlin said brightly beaming as he looked around at the activity.

People were rushing back and forth, getting ready for the wedding. Most of the servants were preoccupied with getting organised and then wanting to change into their best clothes. They were all invited to attend, or be out in the courtyard to see the new couple presented. Arthur had treated it almost like a royal wedding. Geoffrey would marry the couple but Arthur planned to bless the marriage of his most loyal knight and a very loyal servant. Arthur also knew just how important Guinevere was, she could have refused to continue as Morgana's maid, but she hadn't, she had chosen to stand by her friend, and hope that she could bring her back.

Merlin ambled through the flow of servants, Cyan at his heels as usual. It felt like such a fixture in the castle now that none of the servant shied away anymore. Merlin held his bunch of flowers and Gwaine observed everything around him as he tailed in Merlin's wake. No one quite knew if Merlin had been making any progress with Morgana. Neither of them talked to anyone else about what they said to each other. Even Balinor, who generally lingered close by didn't entirely know, but he did see that Merlin was, ever so gently, breaking down Morgana's defences.

It was something his son could manage without even thinking about it. Percival had been easy, he adored Merlin now. He had never really hated him in the first place, it seemed like a simple way to avenge himself on Cenred. Merlin had, in his own way, pointed out to Percival that things were never that simple. Yet so many other things were.

Morgana was far more of a challenge though.

There had been some quite interesting conversations. Ones that resulted in shouting, one rather significant one which had left Merlin in floods of tears and Arthur had been required to spend over an hour comforting and reassuring Merlin. And others where Merlin and Morgana had laughed. The moods of the conversations seemed to change as easily as the weather. What seemed to be more significant was Morgana's constant interest. After the dramatic talk, which had resulted with Arthur's careful intervention, Merlin had refused to go again for almost three weeks. Morgana had appeared to feel that separation, as she had been far gentler with Merlin in the following talks.

Whatever was going on between the pair, most people were inclined to conclude that Merlin was making progress.

Merlin hurried down the corridor to Morgana's chambers, where her and Gwen would be getting ready. He opened the door, knocking on it as he did so and he peered around.

"You can't come in!" a maid shouted bossily. Merlin pouted and entered anyway.

"Yes, I can."

Gwaine decided he was probably better waiting outside, although he heard Merlin's exclamation over the sight he found inside.

"Ooohh!" Merlin gawped. "You look pretty!"

Gwen blushed. She had been feeling rather frantic and unsure of the dress she had made for herself, until that moment. Merlin continued to gawp, Cyan snuffled about trotting over to Gwen, who sat at Morgana's dressing table. He sniffed at Gwen and then went to Morgana, sitting down at her feet and looking up at her.

"Hello," Morgana said as she twisted flowers to be fitted into Gwen's hair, most of it had been piled onto her head, with long strands left trailing, neatly curled up. A crown of flowers had been wound into her hair. Merlin walked over, stepping carefully around Gwen, wary of ruining the white dress with it's gold trimmings. Merlin's blue eyes gazed at her, then he looked at Morgana.

"Thank you, Merlin," Gwen said.

The flustered maid who had tried to keep Merlin out gave up attempting to shoo him out and instead went back to tidying the room.

"You look pretty too," Merlin added, looking at Morgana's light blue dress, plainer than Gwen's but in a similar style.

"Thank you," she said, putting the last of the flowers into Gwen's hair. Merlin again carefully shifted around Gwen and thrust out the flowers he had brought, offering them to Morgana.

"I picked flowers for you."

Using the reflection Gwen watched Morgana's reaction to the offering. She looked surprised, almost flustered by the thoughtful gesture. Merlin didn't seem to notice, instead he concentrated on removing two more sprigs of heather from the bunch.

"I gave some to Gwaine and Percival, I'll keep these for Lancelot and Arthur."

Gwen tried not to smirk. Morgana looked gingerly at the ragged ends of the flowers, and Merlin's slightly grubby hands from where he had picked them. The maid came flitting back, seeing the issue.

"I'll take them, and put them in some water, My Lady," her tone insinuating that she didn't think they were very worthy of Morgana. Merlin blinked, but relinquished his offering. Morgana frowned. Gwen almost intervened until Morgana said.

"Don't do that, tidy them up and bind them, I'll carry them with me in the ceremony."

Gwen looked up at Morgana, who eyed the maid steadily. The girl blinked, looking to Gwen for help.

"There should be some spare ribbon left over, use some of that," Gwen said. She had her own bunch of flowers, a carefully designed bouquet. She glanced up at Morgana again, who still glared at the maid as she scurried off. That seemed to be another odd little quirk of Merlin and Morgana's relationship. She seemed to think nothing of insulting and hurting Merlin, but Morgana didn't tolerate anyone else doing the same thing, even if it was inadvertent.

Merlin looked nervous, eyes flickering from the maid to Morgana, who when she realised Merlin was staring at her smiled at him. Merlin beamed back, rubbing his hands against his top to try and clean off the stains.

"You'd better go and find Arthur, Merlin," Gwen said watching him. "He's got some clean clothes for you, and he can probably get George to help you clean up."

Merlin pouted, his lower lip jutting out. "I can do that myself."

"Well, Arthur still might be wondering where you are. He'll need to tell you what to do."

"I know what I'm doing, I'm going to hold the necklace," Merlin told her, then he beamed. "It's pretty."

"Yes, but you need to know where to stand and when to give to Lancelot," Morgana added. She took him by the shoulders and turned him round, guiding him towards the door. Cyan sniffed at Gwen again before trotting after Merlin and Morgana.

"Go on, Arthur's in his chambers getting ready. You go and find him, we'll see you soon."

Merlin looked mildly baffled but did as he was told, letting Morgana coax him out of the door and she closed it on him. Still feeling a little baffled Merlin trotted off in the direction of Arthur's chambers. Morgana came back into the room, pouring some more wine into goblets, and handing one to Gwen. Gwen took it, sipping delicately where as Morgana took a heavy gulp and then filled her goblet again. She didn't comment but Gwen noted it carefully. Morgana remained oblivious to the scrutiny as the maid returned with the bouquet of flowers to hand back to Morgana. She took them carefully, eyeing them in an intense interest.

"That was sweet of him," Gwen said, of Merlin.

"Yes," Morgana said thoughtfully, eyes still locked on the flowers. Gwen turned back to look at herself, but still, she couldn't avoid Morgana, caught in the mirror, deep in thought as she eyed the flowers with something close to obsession.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"There you are!" Arthur admonished the second Merlin came through the door. Merlin blinked.

"I went to see Morgana, and Gwen. She looks pretty," Merlin informed Lancelot.

"Don't tell him, Merlin!" Arthur said.

"Why not?"

"Because he's not supposed to know what Guinevere looks like until he sees her at the wedding."

"Gwen always looks pretty," Merlin said. Lancelot grinned at Arthur.

"He's got you there."

"Don't tell him any more, Merlin. It's bad luck if he sees her beforehand, or even knows anything. It has to be a surprise."

Merlin smiled. "I like surprises."

"So do I," Arthur agreed. "As long as they are nice. Now come on, you need to get ready as well. Put your new clothes on."

Merlin looked slightly apprehensive as George gathered up the new clothes to lay them out on Arthur's bed.

"Why? What's wrong with my clothes?" Merlin asked pulling on his shirt.

"Nothing Merlin, really," Arthur said. "But this is Lancelot's wedding, everyone wears something special."

"Like Gwen?"

"And Lancelot, and me," Arthur added frightened that Merlin would start talking about Gwen's dress. Lancelot grinned as he realised that Arthur's reference to himself was the one that made up Merlin's mind.

"Okay," Merlin said starting to pull himself out of his clothes. George stared in shock, while Arthur flinched inwardly. He had only seen Merlin topless once before and the sight of the scars had shocked him. The prince knew that Merlin had been badly abused but the evidence remained with the silky lines across his back where he had been whipped, on his stomach Arthur recognised the remnant of a burn. It looked as if Merlin had been branded at some point, although the symbol was impossible to decipher. Down his forearm ran one of the least awful looking wounds where he had been scratched, the wound deep but it seemed less horrific as it had been made by a tree, and had occurred during Merlin's escape.

Other things were present, but so old now, and hard to spot, that Merlin couldn't identify them. Most of them had blurred into one long incident for him and he paid them no attention. George stood and gawped, his jaw hanging open as he stared at Merlin's top half. Without even worrying about modesty Merlin began fiddling with the laces of his trousers, at which moment Lancelot decided to send the stunned looking George from the room.

"Go on, I can help Merlin."

"I don't need help," announced a now naked Merlin. Arthur tried not to look but somehow it felt impossible not to take in the evidence of Merlin's abuse. In a way the scars were an indication of how much he had healed. The remaining damage meant nothing to Merlin. It didn't occur to him to be ashamed of it, or even regretful of it. In Merlin's mind it had happened, and then it had stopped. Balinor had healed the damage, physically and mentally, and in the same way the scars had shaped Merlin's body, they had shaped his thoughts. Yet, he remained so innocent and guileless.

Merlin went to the bowl to clean himself up, washing his hands carefully and then rubbing himself down before starting to get dressed. Lancelot went to help him, and Arthur watched, just staring at Merlin, so hard that Merlin frowned at him. Arthur smiled and Merlin grinned at him, before distracting himself with his new tunic, made of a burgundy material. It looked well on Merlin, Arthur decided. Merlin tugged it.

"It feels funny."

"It will be fine Merlin, now you know about holding the necklace, on the cushion. Merlin… Merlin, you need to listen to me," Arthur admonished as Merlin continued to fiddle with his new clothes. He looked up at Arthur.

"Now, you stand with me, and keep the necklace on it's cushion. We'll be in the hall already, then Gwen and Morgana come in and…"

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Arthur watched the banquet with satisfaction. It had even roused the interest of his father, who had not only attended the wedding but sat with him at the feast. He had not made the speech as the king normally would. Arthur had taken that responsibility as best man and regent. And Merlin had taken his role seriously stepping up to hand over the necklace. During the ceremony he had turned his head and caught Balinor's eye and beamed at him. Arthur had seen many of the audience smile back, seeing the happiness on Merlin's face. Gwen and Lancelot only had eyes for each other, and they had smiled just at brilliantly.

It had made Arthur smile to himself, as he moved across the room, heading towards Merlin, who looked a little lost as he stared around at the bustle of the crowds. He beamed his usual smile as he saw Arthur.

"Hello!"

"Are you having fun?" Arthur asked. Merlin nodded.

"Weddings are noisy."

"Yes, they are Merlin. Merlin, I need to talk to you, I need to ask a favour."

"What?" Merlin asked, looking around nervously.

"Your little mare, I'd like to put my stallion on her."

Gwaine sniggered. "More than one wedding today then!"

"Hhuumm," Merlin murmured, sounding unsure.

"I mean, I'll bring my stallion and he can mate with your horse and then she will have a foal."

"A baby?" Merlin said brightening.

"Yes, I'd like to have a new nice strong horse. I like my stallion and we could train the new one, together."

"My horse would have it, and you would take it away."

"Not straight away. They'd be together and you could see the baby when you wanted. You could help train him, you're good with horses."

"Yes, I am. I…. She might not like it."

"Well, we could let them meet and she could see what she thinks. A few times and perhaps they might like to do that."

Merlin frowned and nodded. "Yes, yes, we could do that. She'll like him, he's a nice horse. We could do that!"

Merlin threw his arms around Arthur's neck and hugged him tightly. Arthur laughed, wrapping his arm around Merlin's waist. To anyone else viewing the scene Arthur looked mildly out of his depth, but Merlin just looked happy.

Arthur extracted himself and pushed Merlin towards Balinor.

"You go and see your father now."

"I'll tell him," Merlin said excitedly.

The jugglers finished and Arthur paid no attention, instead turning to talk to Uther, who had seemed to have roused at the bustle of show.

"We can't take the groom, but maybe the prince will show his bravery!"

Arthur turned his head looking at the wheel that had been brought in. It was something he remembered before, at a birthday. His father had done it, on the wheel. Arthur had worried and cheered as he had watched the knife throwing. As he stood up the entire room applauded. Arthur grinned not minding as he let himself be tied to the wheel and jumped with surprise as the apple was pushed into his mouth. Arthur quelled the irritation and stayed still, watching as he was turned on the wheel.

"It's just a show Merlin. They won't hurt Arthur," Balinor said gently to his son. Merlin had enjoyed the day. He had looked so serious when he had stepped forward to hand the necklace over, but when he had turned to the audience had caught his father's eye he had smiled so brightly and the crowd had smiled back. Merlin had felt so proud of his role.

Merlin jumped at the first knife landed and he followed the progress of the second carefully.

Morgana jumped. She had sat down to watch the show. She had stayed close to Gwen, aware that people had been watching her. But in the end she frightened too many people so she had left Gwen to talk. However, the show caught her attention as she realised she felt something. The ripple pushed her back in the chair and she lifted her head. It felt hard, it was not her magic, but she sensed it and forced her way through. Everything moved around her slowly and then she looked across the room to Merlin. His eyes flashed as he watched the last dagger thrown towards Arthur.

She calculated that it would slam into the apple in Arthur's mouth, but it never met the target. Morgana gasped again as Merlin slammed his power into the knife and it stopped dead. The power seemed to flow back and everyone yelped, gasped and stared as the knife stayed in the air before shattering into pieces.

Arthur jumped, biting the apple, swallowing the piece and then looking round. Because Arthur did so, and Morgana also had, all eyes turned to Merlin, who looked chagrined and frightened. For a long moment everyone stared at Merlin, until Gwaine walked forward and wrapped his arm around the knife thrower.

"You'll have to forgive our Merlin," Gwaine drawled, sounding far drunker than he had a minute ago as he watched the show with Percival and Elyan. "He's rather overprotective of our prince."

Gwaine patted the man's shoulder and then sauntered across the room to Merlin, who still looked furious, staring at the knife thrower. Arthur picked up the remains of the apple and bit into it again, walking over to talk to them.

"See Merlin, no harm done."

"Sorry," Merlin said.

"Like I said, no harm done. I need to speak to my father," Arthur said, but then he turned and walked away, going to sit and talk to Uther. Merlin felt very aware of everyone in the room glancing at him. Everyone but Arthur, who seemed to refuse to do so.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Is Arthur angry with me?" Merlin asked as they tailed through the castle to bed. They could have taken a set of guest rooms but Balinor preferred to tuck himself and Merlin away in Gaius' chambers.

"No, I'm sure he's not Merlin. He was just a bit busy tonight, with the wedding and looking after his father," Gaius said. "He needs to look after Uther."

"But he's still cross with me," Merlin said. "I made him cross, because I stopped the knife."

Balinor turned and pulled Merlin close, letting his son huddle against him.

"You just didn't understand. I'm sure Arthur knows that. We can talk to him tomorrow."

"Now," Merlin retorted demandingly. "I want to know."

Balinor felt dead on his feet, and he knew Gaius didn't feel any better. He pulled back from his son and squeezed his shoulder.

"Why don't you go and see Arthur then, while me and Gaius have some tea."

Merlin thought about that, until Cyan nudged his nose against Merlin's hip.

"Yes, I can talk to Arthur. Arthur won't be mad."

"I'm sure he's not, you go and see him."

Merlin turned and trotted off, heading in the direction of the hall. As he reached the room the servants tidying up paused and looked at him. Merlin tugged on the hem of his shirt and then turned away, going in the direction of Arthur's chambers. There were no guards in the hallway. Arthur generally didn't like them. Merlin pushed the door open and went in.

"Arthur?"

There was no response.

"Arthur, are you cross?"

Cyan bounded about, snuffling around and the easy conclusion, seeing the discarded robes on the bed, was that Arthur had changed and then gone. Merlin looked at Cyan.

"Arthur, find Arthur!"

Cyan, who had taken in Arthur's fresh scent wagged his tail, dropped his nose and went out of the door. Merlin trailed in the wolf's wake, looking around as he did so. The castle was quiet, most people now already in bed. Candles had been lit along the corridors, to pick up stragglers from the wedding banquet. Merlin moved without fear, even where the candles had died out. For years he had been locked away in the dark and in the cave they had sat in the dark. Merlin didn't fear it and he followed Cyan with confidence.

Going up a flight of stairs they encountered a corridor that still had brightly lit torches. Cyan bounded down it and Merlin ran after him as the wolf paused to sniff at the two guards who were unconscious on the floor. Merlin jerked as the sound of metal clashing on metal rang from the room beyond. Cyan growled and bounded forward, Merlin ran on the wolf's heel's concern for Arthur and Cyan the main thoughts in his mind.

They crashed through the door, stumbling though, as the three people in the room fought. Merlin took it in sharply. Uther knocked away the weapon that had almost stabbed into Arthur. The prince struggled to get up, hardly able to get his feet up under him. The attacker, who Merlin identified as the knife thrower from the banquet, Uther pushed away, and then he swung at Cyan as the wolf dived forward. Cyan dodged, still baring his teeth at the knife thrower. Merlin looked around and then ran to Arthur.

"Arthur!"

"Get… Help my father!"

For some reason that Merlin couldn't work out Arthur couldn't seem to coordinate himself. He slumped to the floor. Merlin stared in shock back-peddling as the knife-thrower ran at him sword raised. Merlin yelped. The sword didn't connect as Uther met it, blocking the blow. Merlin stared in shock but Uther's eyes stayed on the attacker, jaw set. The attacker tried to push harder but Cyan launched himself forward snapping at him, flanking to protect Uther as well. Distracting the man trying to kill them.

"Arthur!" Merlin yelped shaking him. Merlin was thrown aside as the man knocked him down, slamming the hilt of his sword into Merlin's head. Merlin sprawled on the floor and both Arthur and Uther moved into the fray. Arthur stumbled again and as the man swiped at him Cyan snapped to make him recoil then Uther went in for the killing blow.

Arthur watched it almost in slow motion. Uther had his sword on the down swing to slam the sword into his side. From nowhere the man seemed to produce a knife and with his left hand thrust up. As Uther's sword hit the man's back the assassin slammed the knife into Uther's chest.

"NO!" Arthur roared seeing the action but he couldn't stop it. He tried to get up again. Merlin sprawled on the floor and saw the bad man turn to look at Arthur. His power flared and his eyes sparked gold, the man flew up into the air hurled away to crash into the wall and he slumped down. Cyan bared his teeth as he moved forward hemming the attacker in. As the assassin tried to rise, one hand pressed to his bleeding side, Cyan jumped forward, slamming the man back against the wall knocking his head and he slumped.

Arthur didn't notice. He crawled to his father, holding him gently, and one hand moving tentatively over the bleeding wound in his father's torso.

"Father."

"Arthur, my son."

Merlin whimpered and ran to one side of the room. He came back pulling at the bed sheet to drag it off the bed. Merlin pulled and pulled at the edge of the fabric, but after a few moments, when he realised it's wouldn't give Arthur saw the light in Merlin's eyes and he yanked on the fabric. Arthur wondered what the hell he was doing and tried to care, but he didn't until Merlin carefully pressed the now torn fabric onto the wound. He pressed his hands down, concentrating on the damage then he looked up.

"Father. Get Father!"

Cyan spun on his heels and ran from the room, his claws clattering against the floor and he snapped and barked his way through. Merlin kept his hands tightly down while he looked up at Arthur.

"Father will come, and Gaius. Fine, it will be fine!" Merlin whimpered still keeping pressure on Uther's wound. The king raised his head and looked at Merlin and then up at Arthur.

"My son, my child. I'm so sorry."

"Don't say that, you'll be fine," Arthur said, his voice thick with tears. Merlin chewed his lower lip as he realised how much blood seemed to be seeping from the wound. Lowering his head he listened, as Gaius had explained to him, telling him about medicine. Merlin, on the occasions Gaius had explained thing, had listened with interest. He couldn't hear any funny sounds and he lifted the material to peer at the wound, frowning as he saw the blood still flowing. Merlin pressed the material back, holding it hard. Uther winced.

"Merlin, what do we do?" Arthur asked.

"Wait for Gaius, Gaius will know what to do," Merlin said.

Uther appeared not to hear them. His eyes were fixed on Arthur.

"Don't worry my son, you're ready now, to be king."

"Don't say that," Arthur choked. "You'll be fine, we just need to wait for Gaius!"

Merlin whimpered, his hands pressed on the wound. Arthur glanced up at him.

"Can't you do something?"

Merlin shook his head frantically. "No, bad thing, you can't bring back!"

"He's not dead Merlin, you can save him!"

"No, I can't!" Merlin whimpered, his hands stayed on the wound, eyes wide as he felt it. He could feel the damage, his magic rising to the surface to feel what had happened. Merlin knew his lessons. Balinor had taught him, so had Nimueh.

"I can't, I'm not good at it."

Arthur glared at him, angry and frightened, not comprehending what Merlin was saying. Merlin had magic, he could do these things.

"Merlin, do something please. For me, please!"

He shook from head to foot as he looked up at Arthur. Merlin couldn't do anything, he could feel it, his magic was blocked, and he couldn't do it. Uther was dying, Merlin could feel that, his grip on Uther's life was slackening. He couldn't save him, he couldn't bring him back to life.

"Merlin!" Arthur roared at him, and a spark flew. Merlin's eyes widened and Uther tensed as he saw the gold flashes in Merlin's eyes. With the last reserves of strength he had the King of Camelot fought to get away, but Arthur held him too firmly and he couldn't fight as the power rushed through Merlin, he whispered a word and Uther's mouth opened, as if to scream but no sound came out. Arthur felt his father stiffen in his arms, his entire body going rigid and then he slumped down. Merlin flopped onto his backside, sitting next to them, shoulders slumped.

"Father! Father!" Arthur yelled, fumbling to try and find if the limp man in his arms was still alive. Then he looked up and glared at Merlin, voice raised and tight with stress and fear.

"Merlin, what the hell have you done?"


	34. P3 Chapter 11

**I am making an effort to finish this one around writing Golden Prince, then the next on my list is Picture Perfect... I am working on it, I am a woman with a plan!**

Arthur lingered close to the bed as Gaius checked Uther over. As they had come running in, alerted by Cyan's urgent interruption, both men had looked shocked. Balinor knew immediately as Cyan broke open Gaius' door that he had been sent to fetch him. He didn't need the low huffing breaths that Cyan had given. Balinor himself had trained the animal so Merlin could use the command if he needed him. Cyan had turned the moment his Alpha had stood up and kept his pace while Balinor had Gaius had gone after them.

As they had arrived Arthur was shouting, most of the abuse directed at a shaking, crying Merlin. Balinor had lifted him up and taken him away, a calmer Cyan in tow. They had alerted some guards on the way and they had stayed to help Gaius, lifting Uther back onto the bed and the physician had started to check the king over, taking in the information that Arthur gave him.

Balinor took Merlin to the quiet calm of Gaius' chambers and sitting him down spent time extracting Merlin's version of events. Once he had done so his son looked too exhausted to do anything more. Balinor had put him to bed in the small chamber at the back of Gaius' rooms, giving Merlin a tonic to help him sleep. Cyan hefted himself onto the end of the bed, curling up and looking up at Balinor in the clear hint that the animal could often give.

He would look after Merlin.

As Balinor left the chamber he saw Gwaine walking towards him.

"What happened? I've heard something happened with the king."

"Long story, Merlin is in Gaius' room, sleeping, Cyan is with him, but could you stay with him, just in case."

Gwaine nodded immediately. "Of course, is he all right?"

"I need to talk to Gaius, and Arthur. Please just look after Merlin."

Gwaine nodded, dropping his hand onto Balinor's shoulder.

"You know I will."

With that Balinor took the long walk to Uther's chambers and a guard almost stopped him walking in.

"You can't come through."

"It's fine," Leon snapped, suddenly appearing. "Let him through. He means no harm to the king."

Balinor nodded walking into the room. Arthur stood on one side of the bed, Gaius looked Uther over from the other side.

"Gaius?"

"I can't understand it, from what I see, Uther's heart had been damaged, but the bleeding doesn't indicate such a wound."

"That is as it is," Balinor said. "Merlin did what he could but… you don't understand Arthur. I know you say you accept what Merlin is, but you don't understand."

Arthur frowned, but he said nothing, letting Balinor continue.

"He's not a sorcerer, he's a warlock, a creature of magic. He was born with his talent, which means his talent cannot defy the laws of nature. Your father was severely injured, it would be a defiance of the balance to bring him back."

"I've seen sorcerers heal, and make things grow, why can't Merlin do that?"

"Like I said, Merlin is a warlock. He did not train for this. Sorcerers practice for years and they tap into the power source to use it for their own ends, they have the power to manipulate it. I don't doubt that if Merlin learnt spells and studied sorcery he would have no problem in performing such magic. But you of all people should know, it's not as simple as that, the balance of the natural world must be held, or it will move to correct it."

"In saving my father he's… hurt someone else."

"Not this time, but that is the risk, I taught him that, what he should and shouldn't do. I don't doubt that Nimueh did the same for him. But if Merlin used magic to heal him, then he could have hurt himself, or you. It could be entirely unconnected, the life force could have been taken from anywhere."

Arthur's frown deepened. Gaius looked up from checking the wound on Uther's side.

"What did Merlin do then? The wound does appear to have been healed somewhat, although the scarring would indicate that…"

"It has been cauterised," Balinor ended for Gaius, guessing what the physician was going to say.

"What?" Arthur snapped. Balinor looked at him again.

"Merlin can't heal, certainly not a wound that is fatal. However, he has a elemental instinct. He can control the elements in the air around him. He had produce winds; cause it to rain a little on occasion and he can control fire."

"Are you saying he burnt my father's heart?" Arthur snarled.

"Not entirely that literally, but he knows about cauterising wounds. I've taught him a lot about healing and so now has Gaius. The elements exist around us in all forms, it's something Merlin can do easily, and has good control of."

"So he's healed my father."

"I don't believe it's as simple as that," Gaius said, slowly straightening up. "Such heat causes scarring, the skin remains damaged. In this case, the muscle of your father's heart will be scarred. His pulse is weak, any strain will put pressure on his heart. He'll remain like this, no doubt for the rest of his life."

"Merlin did his best, that was all he did."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Merlin opened his eyes, his head feeling thick and his eyes heavy. Cyan leant up and drooled into Merlin's ear. He could hear voices in the distance, one of them he instantly recognised as Balinor's.

"Merlin healed the bird though, didn't he?" Gaius asked, as they talked in the room beyond.

"I don't think so. I'm not sure that scenario was as simple as it looked. When I saw Thor, and when Merlin's magic surged through, it was Thor that glowed first, and it seemed to go to Merlin."

"You think the bird healed Merlin?"

"I know there is more to those animals than meets the eye. Gwaine has his own theories on them but I do think you have to get him rather drunk to get him to tell you. But yes, I think Thor was more than just an injured fledging."

"Ravens and crows were often used by those of the old religion, to deliver messages," Gaius mused. "When it comes to Merlin, I think it's hard to find anything inconceivable. But surely he could have done something more to save Uther."

"Again, think about what Nimueh said. Things have needed to happen to put Merlin's, and Arthur's, destiny back on course. Arthur is destined to become the Once and Future king, things have not entirely occurred as destiny planned them. Maybe when the time was right, it was meant to happen."

"You mean the force of magic itself wouldn't allow Merlin to heal Uther?"

"Perhaps, and I've been careful to teach him what is right and wrong, Hunith did the same. Merlin's power answers a calling of Arthur, not Uther. Arthur asked this of him, and Merlin found a way."

Merlin heard the words but didn't really comprehend them. Cyan huffed into his ear, Merlin grizzled in disgust, he flailed and pushed the wolf away. The conversation stopped in the far room, as, on hearing the disturbance, Balinor immediately rushed to check on his son.

"Merlin, are you all right?" Balinor asked taking hold of Merlin's hand. Merlin blinked, slowly focusing his eyes to stare at his father.

"Is Arthur all right? I did... I did a bad thing. I used bad things."

Balinor slowly sat down at the end of the bed, pushing Cyan out of the way. The wolf rolled over, splaying himself out and huffing heavily. Thor rested on the nearby window ledge, his beak tucked under his wing but that didn't fool Balinor for a moment, he could see the movement of Thor's eye, that took in everything around him.

"What bad things?"

"You said that it's bad to bring things back, the lady said so too."

"What lady? Not Nimueh?"

"No, I'm not allowed to see her again," Merlin said sadly. "The blonde lady, she's nice but she's very quiet, even when she talks."

"Are you saying that she told you to do what you did?"

"No, she was just there, she looked sad., and Arthur shouted so I did what he said... was that wrong?"

"You did your best Merlin, that is all any of us can do."

Merlin pushed the covers down. "I want to see Arthur."

He pushed the bed sheets down and kicked his way clear.

"Merlin, maybe you should leave Arthur alone, for now. He's got a lot to do."

"I can help. I want to help Arthur. Didn't I help?"

Merlin now looked far less sure of himself. He looked up at Balinor and then glanced at Cyan. The wolf had not moved from the end of the bed and as Merlin looked at him the wolf huffed and put his head down on his paws. Merlin bit down on his lower lip, gnawing at it for a moment.

"Arthur needs to look after Uther now, just for the moment."

"I did it wrong," Merlin said. "I was bad."

Merlin's lower lip wobbled. Balinor knew there was no point in trying to reassure Merlin, at least with words. Instead he wrapped his arms around his son, and Merlin put his head down to sob on his father's shoulder.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"You have no choice Arthur," Geoffrey insisted. "Your father cannot take the throne, there is only you holding the kingdom together."

Arthur glared at him. That was all anyone had said to him today, while his father recovered from the assassination attempt. No one had yet leaked the information that Merlin had aided the king. All the citizens of the kingdom had heard was that someone, an assassin, had attempted an attack on the King and Prince, using the celebration as a way to sneak in. All the people knew was the attempt had been thwarted, and Uther had suffered a near fatal injury.

What galled Arthur, far more than the attack, was that no one appeared overly concerned for his father. He had been too broken to really rule, and with Arthur acting as Regent the further development seemed to do nothing more than make up people's minds that Arthur should take the throne completely and rule as king. It was almost as if everyone was glad about what had happened, making it simple for people to push the issue.

To himself more than to anyone in particular, Arthur had vowed that as long as his father was alive and that there was some hope that he might recover from the mental breakdown, he could eventually return as king. Now he was being told that Uther wouldn't do so, that the damage to his heart was permanent. Gaius had already sternly warned him that even walking across a room would put his father under strain. For the rest of his life, he would be weak, almost bed ridden, but at least his was alive. Gaius stressed the last part of that, without Merlin, Uther would have died, the wound too deep for anything else to happen.

Arthur had listened to what Gaius said. Trying to make himself believe that it was true. But magic had caused this, and Arthur couldn't help it as his mind niggled at him that somehow perhaps his father was right.

It left him not knowing what to think. He had played the role as Regent, pretending that it was a temporary thing, when deep down, as he looked at his father, even Arthur felt the uncertainty. Uther responded to no one, except Arthur himself, and even that seemed almost childlike and clingy. The memory of the night continued to replay itself in Arthur's mind. His odd unsteadiness, which Arthur attributed to a little too much wine, but he now knew was a sedative, given to him in the apple, started his chain of thought. Then it ran through the fight, when his father had roused, seeking to protect his son.

Arthur's mind refused to be entirely clear after that. Merlin had run in, throwing their assailant aside easily, Cyan adding his own distraction. Merlin had done what he had, and Arthur felt the knot of grief and fury tighten as he tried to remember it clearly.

"My father is still alive," Arthur announced.

"Everyone is aware of that Arthur, but he has not been mentally capable for a few months now. And Gaius has suggested that he has become physically incapable. He cannot rule Camelot. Gaius has even hinted that perhaps telling him too much about the kingdom's affairs would be a bad idea."

Arthur clenched his jaw. "We don't know that yet."

"I trust Gaius' opinion," Geoffrey said turning to the man in question.

"But not mine?"

It caused Geoffrey to falter, unsure how to answer that. Gaius stepped forward to take over.

"I know you hoped that your father would be well enough to take the throne again, we all did. But we also have to be realistic, if you won't."

Arthur's face darkened, but Gaius continued steadily.

"You have done a good job as Regent, but it has left the kingdom a little unsteady. For the sake of Camelot, you have to stand forward and take the throne Arthur. I know you care about your father, but you also care about this kingdom, and the people in it. For their sakes to have to act. We can put the laws in place to get your father to abdicate, and you can take his place as king."

It was logical, it made perfect sense. And Gaius was not wrong. Arthur did care about the kingdom, and the people. All of them probably believed that he could do it. He had been running the kingdom. But the one person that felt uncertain of that fact was Arthur himself.

He knew that one day he would be king, everyone told him that, even Uther. It was his birthright. But he had never really considered it because his father had always seemed so strong. In a way Arthur found it almost incomprehensible that his father would not be king. The only way Arthur had thought that would happen was through his father's death.

Arthur had never thought it would happen like this, while he was still so young. He felt no more than a child, and acting a Regent didn't seem like a full responsibility. Not while Uther was still around. Even if he didn't comment on what Arthur carefully told him, about the workings of the kingdom, Arthur knew he was listening. There was a safety to it, although Arthur knew deep down it was nothing more than an illusion. He had expected it to be years before his father eventually passed away.

"I'm not going to think about this now," Arthur snapped spinning on his heel and walking away. He just about heard Gaius' low tone as he spoke to Geoffrey.

"Give him time."

Arthur stalked to his chambers. He didn't want time, he wanted his father. He didn't feel ready to be king. He slung open the door, pulling his shirt off as he did so, thinking he could get out hunting, or train, something to work off his frustration. Arthur came to a halt, wrenching his head out of his shirt at the sound of scuffling. He froze in the middle of the room, arms still entangled in the material of his shirt as Merlin got to his feet.

He had been sat on the floor, at the foot of Arthur's bed, arms curled around Cyan. Arthur stared at him, Merlin got to his feet, chewing nervously on his lower lip.

"What do you want Merlin?"

Arthur immediately realised just how hard his tone sounded. He couldn't seem to stop it, and he attempted to say something else, to soften it but as he opened his mouth, nothing formulated itself into words. Cyan pressed himself against Merlin's legs, even the wolf looked slightly uncertain, his tail moving timidly as he glanced up at Merlin and then over to Arthur.

"I didn't mean to..." Merlin started and then paused, looking to Arthur for help in what he wanted to say. Arthur stayed where he was, unable to move, he couldn't even seem to get his arms free of the shirt. Part of himself didn't want to, it kept him safely away from the physical comfort that would break the barrier that appeared to be between them.

"Did I do it wrong?" Merlin eventually asked. "You asked me to and I didn't know what else to do..."

Merlin tailed off again. He took two steps forwards, towards Arthur.

Arthur knew it had been what he wanted. Merlin to do something to save his father, but it didn't seem as if Merlin had done anything of the sort. He could see the need in Merlin's eyes and he didn't want to deal with it. There had just been too many demands that morning, Arthur didn't want another one. The pent up fury rushed through his chest, surging up his throat and the words came out, lashing at the one person who had tried to help, the one person who really didn't deserve it.

"You shouldn't have done anything! What use are you if you can't help someone in need, Merlin! My father might as well be dead for all the good you did. I guess this is why he sees magic as evil, it does no good and just causes problems!"

Merlin gaped at him in shock, jaw dropping. Cyan huffed uncertainly.

"Why did I even think that you would do anything to help? You don't like my father anyway, how do I know that you didn't do it on purpose to hurt him!"

Merlin's lower lip trembled. "I didn't. You wanted to, the lady said I shouldn't."

"What lady?"

"I saw her, in the shadows. Lady Igraine. She said not to but you asked me and I didn't want to upset you."

Red hot fury cascaded over Arthur.

"Don't you dare mention my mother! She died because of magic, because of people like you. Your precious Nimueh did that to her. And now you did it to my father. It's no wonder people like you deserve to die...!"

The rest of Arthur's vent cut off as Cyan jumped forward, snapping his jaws at Arthur, forcing him to back off. The prince hadn't even been aware of throwing his shirt aside and stepping forward, every muscle in his body intent on attack, moving unconsciously towards the enemy.

An enemy who was Merlin. Who had backed up at the sudden assault and landed on his backside. He stared up at Arthur in shock, blue eyes wide with shock and pain. He lurched forward, onto his hands and knees, scrabbling upwards and running, giving Arthur a wide berth. Cyan helped, moving closer to Arthur, scrabbling after Merlin. Arthur also turned, intending to run after them but Cyan paused, his front end swivelling as his haunches dropped, his nails clicking against the floor. Arthur stopped, staring down at the black beast, that had, he realised just at that moment, the exact same colour of eyes as Merlin.

Cyan stared at him and then as Arthur almost took another step forward Cyan did one thing that he had never done to him before. He bared his teeth, the threat clear for Arthur to see. The wolf wanted him no where near Merlin. Arthur took a shocked step back, which appeared to be enough for the animal, he turned skidding his paws against the floor as he gained momentum and shot out of the door, following Merlin.

As Merlin, in his distress, couldn't seem to find the way back to Gaius's chambers. Cyan caught up and carefully herded him back, nudging him and warning off anyone who tried to approach the violently distressed Merlin.

Consequently, it didn't take long for the rest of them to realise exactly what had happened.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Uther slept, his pale face tilted towards the window, where Arthur stood, although the prince didn't think his father was aware of his presence. The king was exhausted. The king, Arthur said again in his mind. Arthur couldn't be king, because the king lay in the bed, sleeping. Sitting back on the window sill, Arthur reached down with both hands and took hold of the ledge, clinging on with all his might, trying to anchor himself. He stared at Uther, watching his father's chest rise and fall in a slow steady fashion.

Arthur sat in the room alone, with just his sleeping father for company. He had not been himself since Morgana, and she had no interest in building bridges with her father. The only time she laid eyes on him since her aborted coup had been at the wedding banquet, and even then she carefully stayed clear of him. Morgana had destroyed Uther, and she held no regret for that fact. Arthur got the feeling that she not only hated Uther, but she feared him.

He had to admit to himself, deep down, he had know that perhaps she had magic and that it lived inside her. Arthur had not wanted to face that, and maybe his father hadn't either. He would not have wanted Morgana dead, and if such a thing had been acknowledged then the situation could have no other conclusion. In the end, Morgana had forced the issue into his face, and Uther had turned away, shrinking from it to such a point that he retreated completely from the world.

Arthur turned as he heard the clattering of horseshoes in the courtyard. He sagged against the window, pressing his forehead to the glass as he looked down and saw Merlin's gelding and mare surrounded by people. Lancelot held the sleek bay mare, while Gwaine took the reins of the gelding. Balinor appeared to be almost forcing Merlin onto the horse. Gwen fussed around them, probably filling saddle bags with food and comforts. Cyan sat almost under the feet of the black horse, who kept his hooves down to avoid hurting the wolf, staying as close to Merlin as possible.

Percival, Leon and Gaius also seemed to be there, around the two people leaving. Merlin had, no doubt, told Balinor of the harsh words and tone that Arthur had used and Balinor's reaction, naturally, was to remove Merlin from the castle and take him home to their little cottage. Arthur watched the people fussing around the two horses, all of them there, rather than with him. Arthur's jaw clenched in fury, and pain. He reached up a hand and pressed it against the glass, wanting to be down there. His heart ached at the thought of Merlin leaving, as much as it regretted his temper. But Arthur had no way to retract what he had said, because so much of it was true. As the horses clattered away another sound caught his attention.

"Arthur?"

"Father? Father, are you all right?"

"What happened?"

"There was an attack, in your chambers, you were injured, but you'll be all right now."

"I feel so tired," Uther said. He looked as if he could hardly keep his eyes open.

"You'll be fine father," Arthur assured him, taking his father's hand in his own. Before his breakdown neither of them would have dreamed of doing such a thing, it was not part of their relationship. Arthur thought of Merlin again, who hugged Balinor on a regular basis. It looked so simple and easy for them. Arthur's heart clenched, why did everything have to come back to Merlin?

"It's just... I saw her, my Igraine."

Arthur's eyes widened, and his hand clenched on his father. Uther didn't appear to notice. He almost talked to himself as he carried on.

"She looked as beautiful as always and she wanted me to come with her. I always worried that she hated me, for what happened. When you told me, about that vision that Morgause showed you. That she hated me," Uther's voice broke, Arthur bit down hard enough on his lower lip to draw blood.

"But that wasn't true, this was... she wanted me to go with her. Why didn't I go? I didn't mean for what happened. Her uncles never wanted her to marry me, but she was determined. Her father wanted it, for her to be queen. She was always queen, my queen. She's forgiven me, she doesn't hate me. I can be with her again, soon."

Arthur felt the metallic taste of blood in his mouth as his eyes filled with tears. Uther appeared to have run out of energy, he closed his eyes. Arthur did the same, putting his head down on the bed, forcing back the threatening tears. He couldn't afford them, he had to be king, he had to do what everyone else demanded of him.

At the same time, he heard the clatter of hooves as the two horses departed with their owners.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Where the hell is my horse?" Arthur hollered at the stable boy. The young lad tensed, looking up with wide eyes, pulling back a little as Arthur's furious blue eyes glowered at him.

"Si... Sir... Gwa... Gwaine took him Sire," the boy eventually stammered. Arthur looked fit to explode and the boy scurried away as the stable master appeared, and with a wave of his hand sent the boy to carry on his work. The bulky man looked at the prince warily but answered him calmly enough as Arthur snapped at him.

"Sir Gwaine rode the stallion out this morning, Sire."

They were saying that word so respectfully. 'Sire' He was king, he had been crowned. And Arthur felt so lost. He could do it, but he couldn't manage. He wanted to talk to someone but that someone was gone. All of them were gone, so Arthur ended up feeling angry and frustrated.

"Sir Gwaine helped himself to my horse?" Arthur snapped.

"Yes, Sire, Sir Leon was with him, I just assumed that you had given them some orders regarding the animal."

Arthur fumed, his fists clenching at his sides. It was not unusual for knights to use horses from the royal stable, especially one as trusted as Sir Leon. After a moment Arthur spun on his heel and stalked out of the stable. The stable master watched him go, frowning in confusion, before shaking his head and turning back to his work.

As Arthur walked into the soldier's quarters he grabbed the first man he walked into.

"Have you seen Sir Leon, or Sir Gwaine?"

The soldier blinked in surprise. "I believe Sir Leon is training Sire. He went with some of the other knights, I presume Sir Gwaine is with him."

"Thank you," Arthur said, his manners returning somewhat. He turned and stalked out the way he had come, making his way to the training field. One look at his stony face caused anyone he passed to step carefully out of his way. Arthur stormed onto the training ground, eyes scanning the men until he spotted Leon.

"Sir Leon!" he bellowed across the area. Leon turned, frowning as he looked at Arthur, then he glanced at Percival and Elyan, both of whom were close by.

"My Lord, will you be joining us?" Leon asked politely.

"Where's Sir Gwaine?"

"He's gone Sire," Leon said.

"Gone, gone where?" Arthur snapped.

"Gone," Percival announced rudely. "He's left his cloak and armour in the armoury, taken nothing more than his own personal belongings and gone."

Arthur glared at the huge man, hardly daring to believe that he had used such a tone. Percival glared back, the expression hinting that he thought that Gwaine might have had rather a good idea. Leon coughed, to bring the attention back to himself.

"And he appears to have stolen my horse," Arthur added.

"He has not My Lord. Apparently Merlin was concerned about the favour you asked of him. Gwaine took the horse to him, and I have made arrangements to retrieve the animal in a few days time, if he successfully serves the mare."

Arthur gawped at him. "Gwaine's gone to Merlin?"

"Under the circumstances, he didn't feel it right to stay."

Leon watched warily. Arthur's mood had been erratic ever since Balinor and Merlin had left. For a moment Arthur looked stunned and then it slowly shifted to anger. He was king, people could not go around making such decisions. He understood what Gwaine had done, what Leon had done, leaving a bridge open for Arthur to use, but he couldn't. He felt alone and angry and for the moment, it seemed to be the only thing he could be.

"You had no right to make such a decision without my permission. I want the animal retrieved. Now!"

"I can set out after training," Leon said placidly. "But surely Sire, the horse will be in no danger. Perhaps leaving it..."

"I said now! Did you not hear me?" Arthur's voice rose and he glared at Leon, who leant back slightly, his face paling, and his eyes widened in shock.

"Yes, Sire. Of course, I'll set out immediately."


	35. P3 Chapter 12

**LAST CHAPTER! ****Ish... I still have a short epilogue planned but that will be the end of this epic. Next on the list Picture Perfect!**

Morgana accosted Leon almost as soon as he returned.

"What are you doing bringing that horse back?"

"Arthur's orders," Leon said uncomfortably. He didn't even want to go into Merlin's reaction. However much he had tried to soften it, saying that Arthur needed the horse back for a joust, to practice for a competition, he realised that neither Merlin, nor Balinor, were buying that story. And Gwaine most certainly didn't. It made Leon feel not only uncomfortable, but angry. Angry because Arthur had sent him to do his dirty work. Leon didn't understand Arthur's reaction, Merlin had done what he could in the situation, even if it wasn't what Arthur wanted, he had done his best.

Morgana stared at Leon, watching the emotions flickering over his face. Her shoulders shifted slightly and her chin lifted, eyes thoughtful as she said.

"From how I understand it, I am not technically a prisoner, and no one has told me I am confined to the castle. I presume that means if I am accompanied I am free to leave, perhaps to exercise my horse," she paused for emphasis. "Through the forest," she added, her hint clear.

Leon blinked, his mind working on the answer. Percival, who had also seen Leon's return caught her words. He paused and waited to see what the answer would be. Leon looked baffled as he answered.

"Erm, as far as I know, Arthur has not laid any particular restrictions, but I presume we would need to check with him."

"If yourself, Percival and say..." Morgana paused again, a smirk crossing her lips. It made Percival smile as she finished. "... Elyan and Lancelot accompany me, Arthur can find no fault with that. Under such guard I cannot do anything to endanger the kingdom, or attempt an escape."

"I wouldn't think so. You're not intending to are you?" Percival asked, taking the hint. "I'll tell Lancelot."

"I'll get changed into my riding clothes," Morgana said, swirling on her heel. Leon winced, realising his part in the plan. "I'd best inform the Prince."

Morgana swirled back, head lowering and fixing her gaze on Leon.

"Oh, don't you worry about that; I'll handle Arthur."

Leon almost backed up at the granite tone of voice. He turned to look at Percival as Morgana swept away down the corridor.

"I don't doubt that she can," Percival said. "You might as well go and get the horses."

Leon, looking a little wild around the eyes, went to do as he was told. Morgana decided to take her time. Going to her chambers she ordered Gwen to help her in one of her riding dresses. Morgana opted for the red. She would stand out wherever she went. The first place she went was to Arthur, in the council chamber.

Morgana stalked towards the room with definite purpose in mind. Several of the guard looked at her nervously, and as she reached the door one stepped forward to stop her. Morgana came to an abrupt halt and looked down at the restraining hand on her arm.

"I'm afraid I cannot allow you to enter the room."

"Are you sure you want to try stopping me?"

The solider looked uncertain as he looked down at her. He jerked back as her eyes glowed and he felt the push, although Morgana hadn't lifted a finger to touch him. The door to the council chamber clicked open at the same time. Tossing her head Morgana stalked into the room, causing every man sat around the table to stare at her.

Morgana ignored them, striding around the right side of the room, heading directly to Arthur.

He had got to his feet, pushing his chair back to walk towards her. Morgana smirked, fury and glee both rising in her chest. Arthur only managed two paces before he met her. Morgana knew she could have used magic, but that was unlikely to be wise considering she wanted to leave the castle, not end up in the dungeon. Besides, it would be more satisfying if she was physical.

"Morgana, I don't think it's..."

She cut Arthur off by bringing her arm back and hitting him hard across the cheek. The sound of the slap echoed around the room. Morgana winced as the palm of her hand throbbed, and her wrist ached from her hand snapping back as she had struck him. She decided to risk further injury and whacked him again, with just as much force.

"You shit!" she announced loudly. It wasn't eloquent but it made the point. Several of the men gasped in shock. Morgana wondered if that was because she had hit Arthur, or because she had sworn with such venom.

Arthur said nothing, he brought his hand to his face, his cheek blossoming red. Morgana, in retaliation, resisted the urge to rub her hand, which stung violently. To prevent herself from showing any reaction she clenched her fists at her sides.

"How could you do that to Merlin of all people? Mind you, that's typical of you, driving away the one person that truly cares about you. It's not his fault that he had to do what he did. You're the one that asked him, and you knew damn well he'd do what he could, and what..." Morgana paused and snorted. "Just because it didn't live up to your expectations you drive him away."

Arthur's mouth opened, Morgana didn't know if he was about to say something or he was just stunned. She didn't bother to find out, she just carried on.

"That's a reaction you have most definitely learnt from our father! At least we can be grateful you haven't started burning people at the stake for it!"

Another round of shocked gasps occurred, some of the guards had shuffled into the room but they weren't entirely sure if they should intervene or not. Most of them still felt wary of Morgana, and didn't entirely understand if she was under arrest, or under sentence or if Arthur intended to do anything about her at all.

"Merlin did what he did because he cared about you. Not because you're royalty, or any of that rubbish, but because he actually cares about you. You, Arthur, the person, the person who didn't want his father to die. I rather think Merlin understands that one. You're the one that panicked him into doing what he did, so don't you start blaming him and sulking like a child."

Arthur's mouth snapped shut, and he glared at her, his blue eyes darkening. Morgana's expression hardened.

"Don't give me that look, Arthur Pendragon, you don't scare me!"

She smirked as Arthur frowned. Stepping closer she brushed against him, lowering her tone to keep her next words just for him.

"Bear in mind Arthur, this is how the Great Purge started. Things didn't go the way Uther wanted and he took it out on the rest of the world. You push Merlin away, the only person that truly loves you, and you will end up much the same."

She stepped back, tossing her head again, expression changing as if that moment and those quiet words had never happened. Arthur stared at her in shock. Morgana spun on her heel and stalked to the door, pausing, and glancing over her shoulder.

"I am presuming that I am not confined to the castle, as you appear to have laid no restrictions. The knights have offered to accompany me. The fresh air will no doubt do me some good and even if you don't want Merlin's company, I certainly do."

Morgana paused, staring at Arthur, who had gone back to gawping at her. She raised her eyebrows enquiringly and then after a pause said.

"I'll take the slack jawed expression as agreement, shall I?"

Arthur snapped his jaw shut again, but he still said nothing. Morgana shrugged.

"I'll be back by dusk," she informed him, then she let her gaze sweep the council, who all stared at her, and then looked away as she caught their eye.

"Gentlemen," she said politely before spinning on her heel again and stalking out. The guards moved out of her way, mainly because Percival had gone up to collect her and lingered at the end of the corridor. By the time Morgana reached him she had started to giggle like an idiot. Percival watched her with mild amusement, then he offered his arm to her.

"That was fun," Morgana told him. "Let's go see Merlin."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

At the sound of horses, Balinor watched his son look up, the apprehension at the sound lingering only for a moment before his expression became hopeful. Gwaine also observed Merlin's reaction, feeling sorry for the youth, even if he also felt irritated at the fact that even after what Arthur had said to him, Merlin wanted to be forgiven. Not that there was, Gwaine thought, anything to forgive.

As the six horses cantered into view Merlin managed to perk up and look despondent at the same time. There was no blond knight in the troop but he recognised the two women immediately.

Merlin stopped bundling up herbs and bounced down the steps of the cottage. Morgana pulled up her horse and dismounted, Leon taking the reins from her just as Merlin reached them, almost jumping on Morgana and wrapping his arms around her neck.

Everyone watched the expression of surprise that flickered across her face. Although she knew Merlin probably missed her, she didn't think it would have been that much. Morgana carefully wrapped her arms around Merlin's waist, hugging him back, which made him cling tighter.

"Are you all right Merlin?" Morgana asked gently. The tone made all of her entourage stare at her. It was a voice that no one had heard for a long while, no one but Merlin. She felt Merlin's head move up and down, but for a moment he refused to let her go. After a minute or so, Morgana ran a hand up and down Merlin's back, and slowly eased herself free of his grip. Merlin chewed his lower lip as he looked at her, and Morgana turned to retrieve something from the front of her saddle.

"It's my turn to bring you flowers."

She had collected a few as they had passed through the forest almost as a joke but it seemed less of one as Merlin's expression turned to one of joy as he beamed at her, taking the offering carefully.

"Thank you! Father, look, Morgana brought flowers!"

Morgana smiled as Merlin turned, baring his gift carefully as he reached the porch steps to show Balinor. The Dragonlord smiled benignly at his son.

"Those are lovely, thank you My Lady."

"I'll find something to put them in," Gwaine announced, slowly getting up from his position on the porch. He disappeared to look for a jug, while the rest of the group dismounted. Leon lingered at the back, he had been the one who had appeared earlier, causing the upset of retrieving Arthur's horse, and he didn't feel entirely certain of his reception now. Morgana went after Merlin and Gwen followed, while the knights tethered up the horses. Lancelot lifted down a pack from his horse and handed it to Gwen.

"I brought some food. I thought we could stop for a picnic," Gwen announced.

"I like picnics," Merlin said brightly. Gwaine returned with a small brown jug, which he had half filled with water. He put it down on the small bench, made from a wooden log, that they had placed on the porch, for them to sit and enjoy the evening sun. Merlin squatted down beside it and started to carefully arrange the flowers as he had seen Gwen and Morgana doing before. Morgana lifted her skirts and carefully sat on the bench to help Merlin.

"Thank you," Balinor said to Gwen, and she followed him into the cottage. As they entered the little kitchen area Gwen unpacked a few things.

"I thought it was a good idea to bring some food, you left in a hurry and you didn't bring much with you. I wanted to make sure you had... you have plenty..." Gwen said looking around the room.

"When Gwaine arrived he came prepared and so did Leon when he collected the horse. He looks nervous," Balinor commented glancing out of the window.

"He felt bad, by the time he got back he was furious with Arthur for making him do it. I think Gwaine did it half in the hope that Arthur would come out here himself," Gwen said. "I'm sure Arthur honestly didn't mean it. He's just not reacting well to his father."

"We heard the bells yesterday. I presume he was crowned."

Gwen nodded. "Yes, he knows there isn't any other way. He just didn't want to face it. Merlin just came in at the wrong moment."

"Father!" Merlin's voice called from where he knelt just by the door. Balinor gave Gwen a smile.

"Don't unpack too much, we'll take it out onto the meadow and sit out there. What Merlin?"

"Look!" As Balinor paused in the cottage doorway Merlin proudly held up the jug of flowers. Morgana looked down at Merlin, still looking baffled but she probably counted as the closest thing to Arthur. And Merlin liked her, he liked everyone. Everyone except her sister, Morgana thought to herself causing dark clouds to flicker across her mind. Merlin stared at her warily, seeing the expression flit across her face. Morgana smiled at him, and his expression brightened.

"Put them on the mantelpiece then Merlin," Balinor said. "Then we can go and sit in the meadow."

"Yes, I'd like that."

So the group tailed off into the meadow, settling themselves down. Morgana elegantly curling her legs under to sit. Merlin sat next to her.

"Is Arthur all right?" Merlin asked.

"He's fine," Morgana said, snapping slightly.

"I'm sure he didn't mean to upset you," Leon said.

"Oh, will you stop defending him!" Morgana ordered him snippily. Merlin bit down on his lower lip.

"How is Uther now?" Balinor asked.

"Still weak," Lancelot said. "And he won't be able to get involved in the running of the kingdom, but as long as he is careful Gaius thinks that he'll live for a few years. On the other hand, he has also warned that Uther's heart may give out without warning."

"I did it wrong," Merlin said.

"You did your best Merlin. People just get upset when these things happened, and they get angry," Gwen said. "Arthur didn't mean to shout, not at you directly, he just needed to vent his feelings."

"I don't think it helped that it was directly after the council tried to force Arthur to take the throne, stripping Uther of his power," Leon said. "I don't think Arthur feels entirely ready to take the throne."

"But he has," Percival said. "He's been acting as Regent anyway. What's the difference?"

"I think that is the point," Leon said. "No one is seeing the difference. Whereas Arthur feels that he is taking something from his father, and it's starting to dawn on him that he has already done it. In everyone else's eyes anyway."

"With that lot in the council, he probably doesn't think that anyone is on his side."

"I am," Merlin said. "We are, aren't we? We should go and see Arthur."

He looked at Balinor with an expression of concern. Balinor felt just as concerned. It was the reason he had taken Merlin away as soon as he had found out what had happened. He didn't want Merlin getting into any sort of trouble, having used magic on the king of Camelot.

"Give it time, son. Maybe Arthur needs to focus on what he needs to do first. He knows where we are if he needs us."

Merlin's face crumpled a little.

"Come on Merlin," Gwen said, picking a few of the small white flowers she had spotted, and suddenly thinking of a distraction. "You can help me make a daisy chain."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

After that they had somehow managed to stay off the sensitive subject of Arthur, and Merlin had hugged everyone tightly as they had prepared to leave, almost as if he expected not to see them again for months. And he waved until they vanished into the woods, until there was nothing more than flashes of Morgana's red clothes as they cantered down the path.

Morgana pulled them to a walk as she saw a rider coming towards them, turning her horse to meet them head on. Leon rode closer to her, reaching out to pull her horse up.

"My Lady. We need to protect you."

"Oh please, I can protect myself; and why should I fear Arthur? No need to skulk round us brother dear!" she shouted into the forest.

Arthur came from the trees, cantering into view. Morgana slowly turned her head and looked at him. One cheek looked swollen and darkened with mild bruising. Morgana smirked at him.

"You got to Gaius quickly."

"The council meeting didn't last long after your interruption," Arthur snapped at her. She gave a low moue of sympathy.

"Never mind, at least it left you free to do something important," Morgana said. She glanced behind Arthur in an exaggerated gesture. "Can I presume since you are on your own you are going to apologise to Merlin rather than arrest him."

"Why would I arrest him?" Arthur snapped.

"You certainly left Merlin, and Balinor, with the impression their position was increasingly precarious."

"It wasn't, just because..." Arthur paused, and then decided attack was a better form of defence. "Why do you care so much anyway? You nearly killed Balinor, and you would have let Morgause kill Merlin."

Morgana raised her eyebrows, and her jaw clenched at the mention of her sister. It was a subject best left alone. Everyone around Morgana had learnt that. Her acceptance of Merlin did confuse some of them, although they had never had the courage to ask her about it directly.

Now Morgana frowned at Arthur, rolling her eyes.

"You don't get it, do you? Even after the dragon told you, none of it's sunk in."

"What do you mean?"

"You and Merlin have your place in this destiny. So do I. It's the same with every aspect of magic. Each thing, each action, has an equal and opposite reaction. That is what I am to Merlin, and Merlin is to me. It doesn't necessarily mean we have to be enemies."

"That doesn't make sense, anyway I thought I was Merlin's opposite."

"No, not in the same sense anyway. Without you Merlin cannot achieve his destiny, he is to create the Once and Future king and help him unite Albion. And you - although heavens knows who made this decision - are the Once and Future king. Consequently, there isn't much point to you if you don't have Merlin. Destiny has linked you, as that force, to achieve that goal, which will ultimately bring peace and good fortune to the land."

"And you think that's a bad thing?"

Morgana snorted. "Not completely, but nor should what happened, or what evil might happen, be forgotten. Bad things will still occur, evil will always be there as the flip side to good. How can you see one without the contrast of the other?"

"Like light and dark," Percival said. "You can't see the shadows unless you have a candle to cast them."

"See," Morgana said. "He understands it. I have to be that, because if nothing else, Merlin needs to see what he cannot himself become. You won't do that for him, he's proved that when you asked him to heal Uther."

"Because he did it," Gwen said.

"Against all laws of magic and the nature of it. He found a loophole, but that proves that if Arthur wanted him to do something, Merlin would do it. He's too powerful to have that without constraint," Morgana said.

"Balinor does that, he won't allow Merlin to abuse his power," Lancelot reasoned.

"Merlin was always required to have a teacher. By the nature of the story we know there have been a few substitutions along the way, but it all amounted to the same thing. That is why one part of destiny has not yet completed and probably will not for a long time."

"And what is that," Arthur asked her.

"Merlin becoming the last Dragonlord. That will happen eventually, but Merlin is owed his father, and I do not doubt that Merlin will need to see his father grow old before he dies. But Merlin should have come into that power before then. Which means, for now, for a long time, your precious little destiny remains a little up in the air. So just be careful, Arthur Pendragon, exactly what you do."

Arthur gaped at her, at the ill-disguised threat.

"And don't you go upsetting Merlin now," she added. "Or you will have more than me to answer to next time."

Morgana glanced around, at the group of people she had taken with her. All of them gave Arthur very level gazes. His actions had been disapproved of on all sides, and he hunched his shoulders as he felt the weight of everyone's gaze on him. All of them loved Merlin. Arthur himself did, and had felt awful ever since the words had come out of his mouth, and Merlin had heard them.

Gwen, seeing Arthur's miserable expression, thawed first.

"Merlin was worried about you," she said. "I think Balinor felt a little wary of staying, if word got out of what Merlin had done."

"I wouldn't let anything happen to Merlin," Arthur said, shocked at the thought.

"Make sure it doesn't" Morgana warned him. Then she dug her heels into her horse's sides and the animal trotted off down the track. The rest of them followed her, giving Arthur various greetings before heading off. Leon paused for longer.

"Will you be back tonight Sire?"

Arthur sighed heavily. "That depends on my reception."

Leon gave a slight smile. "I'll see you in the morning then."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The comment heartened Arthur a little, so he urged his horse into a gallop to reach the little cottage as soon as possible.

Balinor and Merlin started to clear up after the departure of the party. The arrival of the lone horse was only heralded by the whinney of the mare. Merlin looked up and stared. Balinor tensed, watching as Arthur rode into the clearing and then pulled the horse to a halt. The mare gave another call and the stallion snorted in response. Arthur slowly, almost clumsily, dismounted and took the reins, walking towards the cottage. Gwaine had been lounging outside on the porch, but as Arthur walked up he went down to take the horse. Leaning in he said, in a low tone.

"You upset him again, and royalty or not, I will beat you insensible."

Arthur nodded. Not saying a word, he didn't even look at Gwaine, the person who had turned his back on the prestige of status as a knight of Camelot, to live in a cramped cottage. Arthur felt a flicker of envy.

"It's Arthur," Merlin said glancing out of the cottage window, watching as Gwaine took the horse from Arthur, leading the stallion away to untack him. Gwaine assumed, rightly enough, that Arthur had ridden that horse to bring it back to the mare. So it seemed simple enough to turn the beasts out together.

Indoors, Balinor carefully took the plates out of his son's hands.

"Go on then," Balinor ordered.

Merlin looked up at him and then slowly got to his feet. He looked shaky as he went down the steps and headed towards Arthur, faltering as he got closer. The last time they had seen each other Arthur had shouted at him, and it hadn't been nice. Merlin eyed him nervously.

Arthur opened his mouth to say something. He had to, at the very least, say sorry for what he had shouted at Merlin. But he found his voice refused to work. All that Arthur managed was a strangled gasp, which just caused his eyes to fill with tears, and the next sound he made was a sob.

Merlin's reaction was instantaneous. He flung his arms around Arthur's neck. Arthur attempted to vocalise some kind of protest but he just sobbed, putting his head down on Merlin's shoulder. Arthur wrapped his arm around Merlin's waist, pulling him close and holding him tightly. Merlin's eyes widened a little but Arthur continued to cry, much to his embarrassment. Arthur kept telling himself, he was meant to be saying sorry, for being so awful, he should be acting with a little more decorum instead he was just venting over Merlin all over again.

Crying, however, Merlin could deal with. When Merlin himself cried there was always someone to cuddle him, so Merlin reacted in the same way when confronted with someone in the same situation. He held onto Arthur murmuring in a low tone letting him cry over his shoulder. Merlin waited patiently as all the pent up aggression and grief tumbled out of Arthur.

Eventually Arthur seemed to exhaust himself, lifting his head, taking heavy breaths as he struggled to get his breath back.

"Sorry," Arthur sniffled, reaching up to wipe his face with the back of his hand. Merlin still kept his arms around Arthur's neck, rubbing a hand up and down between Arthur's shoulder blades. Merlin said nothing. Arthur wrapped his arms back around Merlin. It seemed easier to carry on talking if he stayed hugging Merlin.

"I mean it, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say those horrible things."

Arthur wasn't entirely sure if he did or didn't mean the words themselves, but he certainly shouldn't have said them out loud to Merlin. Merlin gave a little uncertain murmur.

"You're not cross with me?" Merlin asked timidly. Arthur slowly pulled back from the hug, but he kept one arm around Merlin's waist, although he wasn't sure if he wanted to anchor himself or keep Merlin from attempting a getaway.

"As long as you're not cross with me either," Arthur said. Merlin looked confused, and he shook his head vigorously.

"No, I did it wrong. I was bad."

"You weren't Merlin. You didn't do anything wrong," Arthur said, his throat tightening again. Merlin, feeling him shudder, reached out and pulled Arthur close again. Merlin clung onto him tightly. He actually felt a little perturbed by the sudden outburst.

"I shouldn't have made you do it," Arthur said.

"I tried other things but I couldn't. It wouldn't let me."

"You might have hurt yourself if you tried too hard," Arthur said, having a vague idea of what Merlin meant.

"Have you eaten yet, Arthur?" Balinor suddenly asked, interrupting the two men, still loosely hugging. Arthur would have jumped away but Merlin's arms tightened, and Arthur didn't want to upset him, since they had made a tentative piece.

"No, not today."

"We had a picnic," Merlin said brightly, releasing his grip on Arthur's neck. Instead he took Arthur's hand and led him to the porch. Again Arthur's instinct told him to pull away. It was not good etiquette to behave in such a way. His father would be furious if he ever found out.

"Are you all right?" Merlin asked, feeling the tension ripple down Arthur's arm.

"I'm fine Merlin," Arthur said. "Just a bit tired."

Merlin frowned in concern. He carried on leading Arthur to the porch and they settled on the bench. Merlin didn't remove his hand from Arthur's and slowly Arthur started to relax, enjoying the warmth of Merlin's hand around his.

Balinor appeared with a tray of food, which he put on the small table in front of the bench.

"Thank you," Arthur said, feeling quite shy and subdued.

"I'll bring some wine as well," Balinor said, and he disappeared again into the cottage. For the want of something to do Arthur reached for a few slivers of the meat that Balinor had put out.

"Do you want some Merlin?" Arthur asked.

Merlin shook his head. "We just had a picnic. It was fun. I made daisy chains with Gwen."

"That sounds like fun," Arthur said. Merlin smiled happily, beaming even more as his father came out with two jugs and four goblets. He placed them down and poured some wine into two of them, offering one to Arthur.

"It's a little strong, so you can water it down if you want to," Balinor warned. Arthur took a sip while Balinor poured a small amount into a third glass and diluted it with plenty of water before handing it to Merlin. As he swallowed Arthur gasped, his eyes widening and watering a little as the alcohol burnt his throat. Balinor smiled.

"I did warn you."

"I'll have a little water with that I think," Arthur said, reaching for the water jug.

"Lightweight princess," Gwaine announced, joining them and drinking his undiluted.

"Actually, I'm a king," Arthur informed him. "And therefore I am required to behave with some decorum."

"I just get dizzy and fall over lots," Merlin said. Gwaine smiled and reached over to ruffle his hair.

"You can't hold your drink can you?"

Merlin looked confused by the comment, staring down at the goblet in his hand.

"I'm holding it," Merlin said innocently. Gwaine's smile broadened.

"He means you can't drink lots of alcohol," Balinor translated.

Merlin stuck out his lower lip and shook his head. "It makes my head feel funny."

"That's the point Merlin!" Gwaine announced cheerfully. Arthur glared at him in disapproval. Balinor rolled his eyes and nudged him.

"Stop that, if you are going to be a bad influence I'll turn you out. You can come and help me clear up, instead of Merlin."

Gwaine gave a groan but slowly stood up to do as he was told.

"I can do it," Merlin offered.

"No, you stay and talk to Arthur," said Balinor, who felt determined to leave the two of them alone for a while. Merlin smiled. Balinor smiled back, reaching out to smooth Merlin's ruffled hair before he went inside. Gwaine followed him, narrowing his eyes at Arthur.

"This is your fault."

"You are the one that left your armour and colours and chose to leave," Arthur said. Then he added. "They're where you left them in the armoury. Just in case."

"Maybe," Gwaine said.

Arthur gave a huff of laughter and then Gwaine disappeared, leaving Arthur and Merlin alone. They didn't speak for a while, and Arthur nibbled some more food, the wine was making him a little light-headed. The horses gave them an excuse not to talk as they watched the mare jog a little way across the meadow. Arthur's stallion went after her whinnying as he went. They watched as she paused and turned, stretching her nose out to meet his. She jerked her head up and snorted. The stallion snorted back and the mare lowered her head, giving a gentler huff, and she allowed the stallion to groom her neck. The black gelding moved closer but seemed to have no intention of intervening as he watched.

Arthur shifted his grip on Merlin's hand stretching his fingers. Merlin let him go, jerking his shoulder away from where it rested on Arthur. Arthur had a split second to deliberate before he lifted his arm and put his around Merlin's shoulder. Merlin gave a little happy huff as he snuggled close, putting his head down on Arthur's shoulder. Cyan shifted closer laying at their feet.

It took effort on Arthur's part to remain relaxed, shocked by the sudden contact. But he couldn't be surprised by it. His mind flickered with the memory of when he had first met Merlin and Balinor, and Merlin had snuggled against his father, always getting the reassurance he needed. Cenred and Gwaine, even Morgana, happily obliged Merlin's need. Arthur had trouble remembering people ever hugging him.

Gaius had a little but with a jolt Arthur struggled to find times that his father had truly hugged him in the same way. He knew Uther loved him but sometimes Arthur wondered how deep the feeling went. With Merlin it was unconditional. Even after he had said so many abhorrent things Merlin had forgiven him.

"So, we're supposed to do this destiny thing?" Arthur eventually said, relaxing into the hug, starting to think that the whole thing felt entirely natural. With Merlin, just with Merlin.

"Yes, Nimueh said so. And the blonde lady."

"My mother."

Merlin nodded, "She's pretty."

"She came to take my father, didn't she. I stopped that. My father saw her too."

Merlin snuggled tighter. "She'll wait. She's patient. And she loves you."

"I know," Arthur said. "I shouldn't have done it. I just don't feel ready to be king."

"It's time," Merlin said, his voice gentle but firm. "It's time now, Arthur."

In the meadow the horses started to graze peacefully, Arthur's stallion staying close to the mare, nibbling her side now and again. She nuzzled back at the attention. Merlin reached out and Cyan lifted his head to meet Merlin.

Arthur felt a sudden deep wave of contentment. He felt it from Merlin, who had a happy safe home after so many years of pain and uncertainty, and he had Arthur. The sun slowly started to dip down, casting red streaks across the sky, lighting Camelot in a stunning backdrop. Arthur looked at it and nodded.

"Yes, Merlin. Yes it is."


	36. Epilogue

**Very much the last chapter, on exactly 400 pages according to my word document. Hope people enjoyed it, since it turned into something of an epic! I did try to just give Arthur and Merlin a third person perspective to round off. **

Mithian had decided that Arthur was rather sweet, especially his rambling attempts at conversation. Something that the accompanying knights seemed to find amusing. Lancelot was far more subtle than the others but he himself had been the recipient of Arthur's jibes when he had been courting Gwen; so Gwen had told Mithian.

"Why wouldn't I," Mithian eventually answered. "I love hunting."

"Do you?" Arthur announced in surprise. Mithian smiled again at Arthur's expression, while he attempted to deal with the amazing concept that she could enjoy hunting. Having dealt with that, Arthur smiled.

"Oh, well, in that case I would be honoured if you would accompany us… me…" Arthur added causing Mithian to smile. Gwen again rolled her eyes upwards, causing Mithian to giggle. She had got on well with the young serving maid, married to one of the knights, who seemed devoted to his wife.

Gwen had to give the visiting princess credit, Mithian seemed entirely unruffled by any of Arthur's mistakes and stupid comments. Then again, Mithian had four brothers and they were just as bad on occasion. If not much, much worse. As far as Mithian could tell Arthur was making an effort, but she knew the driving force for that was to secure peace between their kingdoms.

"I will enjoy that," Mithian said with a smile, she was about to question Arthur further about some of Camelot's traditions when she heard the sounds of crashing in the bushes. Her knights close by tensed, and so did she as Arthur sat up, moving away from her, his eyes turning to the bushes where the sound appeared to be coming from. Mithian sat up hand sliding down to reach for the knife she had in her boot

"It's all right!" Arthur announced loudly, raising his hands as he realised the Nemeth knights had reached for their swords. Two of them drew their weapons anyway, eyeing the bushes warily. Arthur knelt up, moving away from Mithian and her eyes widened as the huge dark animal crashed through the bushes.

Cyan bounded towards Arthur, tongue lolling out of his mouth, showing his sharp teeth. Mithian tensed as she watched the wolf jump on Arthur, who held his hands out to order everyone around him to back down, knocking him onto his backside. Arthur seemed entirely undisturbed by the interruption. Mithian stared in shock as Cyan proceeded to lick Arthur's face, slobbering on him enthusiastically, tail wagging so that the wolf's entire back end shook. She watched Arthur's fingers run into the wolf's thick fur. Her knights watched in shock as Arthur wrapped his arms around the wolf's neck, reaching up to rub one ear. Cyan made his usual huffing sounds in greeting.

"Hello," Arthur said, trying to extract himself from under the beast. Cyan flopped onto him, pinning his legs, which was currently his favourite move when he wanted someone's full attention.

"Hey!" Arthur yelped in objection. "Where's your master anyway?"

Mithian had heard the stories, all the kingdoms had been rife with tales about the boy sorcerer who could tame animals. But none of them prepared her for Merlin's appearance as he crashed through the undergrowth, following the same route as Cyan, fighting his way through the brush, his hair askew, fragments of leaves tangled within it. He looked worried until he spotted Arthur, pinned under the wolf, and he beamed happily. Mithian stared at him with mild shock, realising how young and innocent he looked.

"Hello Arthur! Hello Gwaine! Hello!" he added to everyone else. Gwaine grinned.

"Merlin!" Gwaine said brightly.

"Hello Merlin," Arthur said, wrapping his arms around Cyan's torso and hefting him sideways. "Get off me you great oaf!"

Cyan huffed again but slid off Arthur's legs, sprawling on the ground and thumping his tail down as Gwen appeared with two chicken legs. She offered one out to Cyan dropping it between his paws. The wolf sniffed, licked and then wedging the leg started to chew on it, fastening it between his paws to do so.

Arthur got to his feet, brushing himself down. Mithian didn't stand up but she sat up straighter, pulling her skirt down again to conceal the weapon. Merlin looked around, his expression confused as he assessed the Nemeth knights, and Mithian. She smiled at him and Merlin gave a hesitant smile back, but then he looked to Arthur for an explanation.

"This is Princess Mithian, from Nemeth. Princess, I'd like you to meet Merlin."

The group from Camelot watched Mithian's reaction as she looked up at Merlin. She stared with interest, already having asked Gwen, and feeling faintly disappointed when she realised that Merlin and Balinor were not in residence in the castle. Nor had she really worked out a way to ask Arthur about them. Now it wasn't necessary.

"Hello Merlin, it's nice to meet you."

"Hello, Princess."

Merlin looked at her, eyes wide as he stared, still a long way from understanding the etiquette required. He turned to look at Arthur and announced.

"She's pretty."

Mithian smiled. "Thank you, Merlin."

Merlin beamed at her again, Cyan gave a light whine, looking at Gwen pitifully until she gave him another chicken leg.

"Will you join us Merlin?" Mithian asked. "You friend already has."

Merlin looked a little uncertain, looking down at his messy clothes, and the two rabbits he held in his left hand. He and Balinor, Arthur realised, were probably out checking their snares. Arthur hadn't really thought about it when he had picked the picnic spot, thinking it up for the view, when at the back of his mind he knew it was close to Merlin.

"Come on Merlin," Arthur coaxed to get him to stay. "Where's your father?"

"Here," Balinor announced, having taken the slightly longer but more sensible route. He had shouted at Merlin not to run off, but that tended to be habit more than worry. No one in Camelot would hurt Merlin, Balinor felt sure of that. As he reached Merlin he brushed a few stray leaves out of his hair.

"Cyan can take care of himself, there is no need for you to go dashing through hedges."

Mithian stared up in shock, wanting to stand but unable to move. Merlin remained an unknown element and so innocent looking that he seemed utterly harmless. Balinor however was a different story. He was the last Dragonlord, and Mithian felt a little cowed under the man's presence. It was nothing that Balinor did consciously, in fact he went out of his way to subdue the sensation. No one could really ignore it and Mithian felt slightly swept away as Arthur turned to introduce her.

"Balinor, I'd like you to meet Princess Mithian, of Nemeth. Mithian, this is Balinor, the last of the Dragonlords."

Balinor reached out a hand and Mithian reached up. The Dragonlord bowed.

"Princess, it is a pleasure."

"And you, I have heard much about the Dragonlords, it is sad to think you are the last."

"Actually that epitaph is not only annoying, it is rather inaccurate. Merlin will inherit the power, I am not the last, nor I hope will Merlin be."

Mithian glanced at Merlin and then back to Balinor.

"I did not mean any offence."

"None taken," Balinor announced with good humour. "Stop that," he added to Cyan who had rolled onto his side and whined up at Gwen to persuade her to give him something more. Cyan gave a disgruntled murmur and rolled back, sitting up. Merlin put his stuff down and plonked himself down on the ground next to the wolf. Arthur turned to Balinor.

"Will you join us?"

"As long as we are not interrupting."

"Certainly not," Mithian said. She sat up a little further, sorting through some of the plates of food to put something together for Balinor. Arthur watched her carefully, realising she had something of an interest in the Dragonlord. For a moment he felt a flicker of jealousy, but it doused as he realised what her interest was.

"The other kingdoms have heard quite a few stories. Especially considering the Great Dragon's involvement in turning back Caerleon's army."

Arthur contained his grimace. Balinor, however, laughed.

"You can put some of that down to Kilgharrah's rather unique sense of humour."

Mithian raised her eyebrows.

"I only wanted to ensure the safety of the villagers," Arthur said.

"Kilgharrah certainly accomplished that," Balinor said.

Mithian gave a shocked laugh. "Is it true he landed and threatened to eat them?"

"I need to be more specific with my instructions next time. But yes, he prevented the small force from taking the border village by landing in front of them and informing them if they continued with such an action, he would, regrettably, be forced to eat them. Naturally, self-preservation prevailed," Balinor said, and he smirked at Mithian who laughed loudly. Merlin looked up. "For the record, dragons do not like human flesh," Balinor added.

"Why would Caerleon do that?" Merlin asked.

"Because he thought he could take advantage of Arthur, since he had just become king," Balinor said patiently.

"But Arthur's a good king," Merlin said.

"Thank you Merlin," Arthur said. Merlin beamed.

"But using the dragon meant that no one else would try the same thing," Balinor said, looking at Arthur.

"Yes, I know that, and I don't want to rely on it. The Great Dragon should not be used as a weapon," Arthur said.

"I know you know that, which is why I sent him, I know it is not something you will abuse," Balinor said.

Mithian listened intently. So did Merlin as he fed Cyan, the wolf making contented rumblings as he ate. Mithian smiled at him, and Merlin gave a slight smile back, staring at her with open interest. She had been intrigued by the stories, and had wanted to find a way to meet the pair. Arthur had understood Balinor's reasons for carefully keeping themselves separate while the visit went on. Arthur felt a little the same, he didn't want people coming to view Merlin out of curiosity, even though Balinor and Merlin had strengthened the kingdom. It had been a hard decision to ask Balinor for help, not wanting to drag him or the dragon into the issue. In the end Arthur had only done it for the sake of the people under threat from Caerleon.

Arthur had followed up the dragon's advance arrival, heading to the outlying areas of Camelot that bordered onto Caerleon's kingdom. The dragon had done a rather good job. All Arthur needed to do was leave enough men to keep the situation contained and move onto the next thing, his negotiations with Nemeth.

The hints at marriage had been less that subtle, but Arthur didn't feel sure, he didn't feel ready. He had seen the relationship that had developed between Lancelot and Guinevere. Arthur had watched every tiny detail of that from the moment Lancelot had arrived in Camelot. It made him hesitate to just simply marry someone, because it made negotiations easy.

Mithian felt a little the same, after she had been sent off to Camelot, unsure of what she might find. The other kingdoms around Camelot had been unsure of the new king, especially in the circumstances that had resulted in him taking power, and allowing magic back. What she had found was a very determined, and likeable, Arthur, but her curiosity had not been satisfied when it came to the sorcerer that had helped him. Until now, and Merlin had crashed onto the scene.

She listened intently as Merlin and Arthur talked.

"How's Llamrei?" Arthur asked.

"She runs fast," Merlin said. "And she's getting big."

"You'll have to bring her to Camelot, or I'll come and see her."

"Who's Llamrei?" Mithian asked.

"My foal," Merlin said proudly. "From my horse, she mated with Arthur's stallion, and had a baby. Arthur saved her."

"Did you?" Mithian asked smiling a little. Arthur flushed.

"When the mare was in labour the foal caught her hoof in the birth canal, I had to pull it out."

"It was messy," Merlin added.

"Yes," Arthur agreed having got covered in most of the fluid from the birth sac. Gwen, Lancelot, Gwaine and Leon all gave discreet sniggers. Merlin frowned at them disapprovingly, which just made them smile all the more. Arthur gave them his own look of disapproval, not that it was meant particularly seriously. Merlin's appearance appeared to have completely relaxed the environment.

"Will you be coming on the hunt, My Lord?" Mithian asked Balinor later on, as they slowly started to pack up the picnic.

Balinor shook his head.

"I think not, although if you are passing that way you are welcome to stop. I don't find hunting entirely agreeable, the odds seem a little out of favour."

"You catch rabbits without much issue," Arthur said. "I feel a need to defend my favourite sport."

"When you have dogs, horses, crossbows and people on one side against an animal it does not feel like sport. I know that for a fact. Besides you disturb more wildlife running around like that so you end up catching very little, as far as I can see."

"You sound like someone who understands it very well," Mithian said.

"I spent a few years surviving in the forest," Balinor said dismissively.

Mithian watched Arthur raise his eyebrows in surprise, twenty years of anger and exile appeared to have been completely disregarded. But it was in favour of Merlin, which Arthur completely understood.

"However," Balinor said, reiterating the invitation. "You are welcome to visit us if you pass by that way."

Mithian smiled, by the look on Arthur's face she guessed passing that way would be nothing more than inevitable.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Three days later Mithian stood in the courtyard, her knights ready to take her back home, quite aware that she and Arthur had carefully avoided a discussion over any sort of emotional relationship. Mithian had a feeling she could be quite happy as Arthur's wife. He was certainly attractive, and considerate, and the king of one of the most powerful kingdoms. The last one a plus as far as her father was concerned.

Arthur handed her the scrolls he had written up.

"I hope that our kingdoms can come to an agreement."

"I certainly think that will be entirely possible," Mithian said. "Although, we haven't talked about…"

She tailed off with a smile. Arthur blushed slightly, getting the hint. They had not brought up the possibility of cementing the treaty with their marriage. The letter Mithian's father had written certainly advocated such a move.

"I would think," Arthur said, trying to sound authoritative, and less like an idiot – which he felt had happened quite a lot over the last few days. "That perhaps we deal with the treaty before that, and see what happens."

"Perhaps," Mithian said, smiling as Arthur's attention turned as Merlin and Balinor rode into the courtyard. On a lead rein the little foal Llamrei trotted between the two horses, Cyan following close to the little, long-legged foal. The foal's head darted around as it assessed the new environment, it's little hooves skittering on the cobbles. Mithian watched Arthur smile, and Merlin beam back at him.

"Hello Merlin!" Gwaine said loudly, breaking formation from the cluster of Camelot's knights to greet them. Lancelot rolled his eyes at Arthur, who stared at Gwaine disapprovingly, which caused Mithian to smile to herself. After a moment Arthur seemed to realise she was still there and turned his attention back to her, frowning as he saw her smirk.

"If nothing else," Mithian said, turning to glance at Merlin as he was surrounded by people, before looking back at Arthur.

"I don't think I can compete with the real love of your life."


End file.
